Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Josh Adam Meyers - Hollywood Trash
Uploaded: 2020-09-28T01:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Josh Adam Meyers - Hollywood Trash' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-09-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Josh Adam Meyers - Hollywood Trash' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-09-28. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Josh Adam Meyers - Hollywood Trash

Hey, gang, it's your old pals, Uncle Hank and Kippy.
Just want to thank you for tuning in to RU Garbage.
Yeah, guys, make sure you subscribe.
That way you get the episode as they come out.
And you can also go to gasdigitalnetwork.com.
Use promo code AYG to get bonus content
and get the episodes before they come out and HD streaming.
Do it.
Yeah.
Hey, gang, today's episode is brought to you
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Now let's get to the show.
Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage,
the show where you find out if your favorite comedians
are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Woo, baby.
Hey, everybody out there.
Welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is RU Garbage,
the show where we sit down with your favorite comedians
and find out if they grew up classy
or if they're complete trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley,
coming at you on a beautiful day here
in the East Village, New York City,
alive and well.
As we've been fucking saying,
we ain't going anywhere.
We're here for the long haul, baby.
My co-host coming at you right next to me
wearing his oldest black t-shirt.
But the eyebrows and the hair
are looking pretty sharp these days.
Sure.
Gang, you know the drill.
The next time you're reaching for a best pal,
do yourself a favor.
Make it a kippy.
He tastes great.
He's less filling.
And now available in a hard cider.
Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
Only till October 31st, so act now.
Now with pumpkin.
Dude, you look like the catcher from Sandlot.
I can't help it.
That's fucking, what are you doing?
God damn, you are letting it go.
I'm leaning into it, baby.
Guy gets a little bit of cash.
All of a sudden, he fucking checks out.
What the fuck's going on here?
We're running a tight ship.
Christian Bale from fucking The Big Short.
Dude, you're dressed like a fat fucking 13-year-old.
What's up, everybody?
Shut up, man.
You should sit in that computer chair backwards
like you're at the fucking max.
What's up, everybody?
Make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
You can subscribe there as well.
And then everybody knows GasDigitalNetwork.com.
You go there.
You use promo code AYG.
You sign up for the network.
You save a couple of bucks.
We make a couple of bucks.
A couple of fuzzles.
So fucking win-win.
You let me wet my beak.
You know what I mean?
My lights get to stay on for another month.
That's right.
Yeah, that's it.
Thanks, guys.
Very nice.
And gang, let me tell you something.
We could not be more excited to have our incredibly special guest here with us
today.
This young man, you've seen him on Bill Burr's Ringers and, of course, the
Comedy Jams.
And, of course, you know him from F is for Family, DJ Howlin' Hank.
Ladies and gentlemen, all the way from the fucking coast, do me a favor.
Give me a nice big round of applause for Mr. Josh Adam Meyers, everybody.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The fucking kids here.
Just touch down, baby.
I was-
Blew in from the coast first class, by the way.
The fucking Christian Bale reference from Big Short.
I just watched that on the airplane.
I literally-
Really?
I love that movie, too.
Great movie.
Great movie.
Oh, it's fantastic.
His outfits were garbage.
Yeah.
Ka!
And you're like, lean the fuck in, dude.
You look like Newman from Jurassic Park.
We got Thompson over here.
We got Thompson.
Nobody cares.
Nobody cares.
Where's my shaving cream can?
Oh, God.
I got this dinosaur yuck on my face.
I'm going to spit in your face midway through.
I like how he was eating apple pie at a dinosaur park.
Buddy, thanks so much for coming in right from the airport.
Look at this.
Right from the airport.
Fucking trooper.
I almost-
I sound kippy.
I almost- First thing I did when I got to the studio was take a shit, and then
I would
have been like, well, then this episode would have been three minutes long.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because that's garbage.
Did you just smell up Gas Digital Studios?
You're trash.
You are trash.
Yeah.
I still haven't felt comfortable to take a doo-doo here.
Really?
Nah, it's a little pee-pee.
We're still the new guys.
Yeah.
You know, we just signed.
I can't be clogging the fucking toilet.
Next thing, Bobby Hutch is the whole thing.
I'm getting yelled at.
Dude, you guys are like front page Gas Digital.
You know that.
Yeah, it's because-
You can fucking diarrhea in that motherfucker.
You can do whatever you want.
Because it's alphabetical, because it's R U Garbage, which that's like, you
know, when
you're like triple A painting or whatever.
Okay.
So you come up first in the phone book.
Smoking mirrors.
I thought it was like this.
I was like, dude, they're taking over.
No.
No, it starts with an A.
I thought so, too, and then my ego got checked.
You know what's funny about taking the shit?
Like, I'm okay with taking the shit anywhere.
It's just I don't want to have anybody experience it.
And when the clubs were open, fucking sure enough, after a show, I'd have to
fucking really
go.
And I'd try to time it out.
And as soon as I came out of the bathroom, there'd be some fucking hot chick
standing there
like, oh my God, you were really, oh my God.
So Nikki Glaser's like, is anybody in there?
Is anybody?
Coating my hair.
Buddy, thank you so much for coming down to see us.
It's my pleasure.
When I saw this podcast and what it was about, I said, because I am garbage, I'm
admitted,
but I'm reformed.
That's what we'll find out.
We'll find out.
Don't start making statements because we're just going to disprove you because
we're fucking
surgeons when it's coming.
All right.
No, I'm excited to get to the bottom of my garbage.
I really am.
Tell us the origin story here.
Where'd you grow up?
What was the scoop?
So I was born about 20 minutes right outside of Washington, D.C. in Germantown,
Maryland,
suburb, Montgomery County, Maryland.
It's one of the richest counties in the country because that's where all of the
politicians'
kids live.
Well, politicians live.
They live outside of D.C., more in Potomac.
But I was Germantown, very racially diverse, which is super lucky because you're
growing
up with, it's not like anything has ever been a culture shock.
So I grew up in a very diverse neighborhood.
My parents, you know, my dad, when I was born, was an accountant for ADP and
was making
a shitload of money, right?
But then he left his job and started going in.
I think he went into sales.
And just sucked balls.
Like so bad, dude.
Sucked so bad at sales.
Take a bite of the pool.
Oh, dude.
Well, no, but this is what I'm saying.
We got my mama to start working and my dad kind of fell into this depression
and then he
got a job as an Orkin man.
Like spraying?
Pest control.
Wow.
But to the stars.
So he's going, like, they have this big DJ, Elliot in the Morning.
So he's doing like Elliot in the Morning's house.
You're bragging to the other dirt balls in school?
My dad kills roaches at Elliot's house.
He was at Steven Spielberg's cousin's house two weeks ago.
Look at his t-shirt gun I got.
Who needs content tickets, huh?
They got water bugs.
So we, like, I remember, like, growing up, there was a time where it was like
we had no
money.
I mean, we were like really struggling.
We actually lost our house, but my dad's best friend bought the house from us
and rented
it back to us.
Wow.
Yeah, which is great.
That's a solid fucking move.
That's a solid move.
Plus he gets to wet his beak a little bit.
Yeah, yeah.
You know what?
I don't know, because the sale, getting it back, was my, after I graduated high
school,
so actually senior year of high school, I got, I remember I came home one day,
because I
used to come home and my parents would be like either fighting, or my mom's
crying, and
they're just like, because they just, they did not love each other.
Like, they were just together because they didn't want to, because my mom didn't
want
to leave my dad because he would just be homeless.
You know what I mean?
My dad was just like, he's a great dude, he's dead, but you know, he wasn't
good with
money.
Got you.
That being said.
I got the same thing, buddy.
I got you.
Oh, perfect.
Yeah, yeah.
All right, so, but then.
I'm not good with money either.
I see, I am now.
Yeah.
I am now.
Dude, the best thing that the coronavirus did to me was just change my spending
habits,
where now I think about every dollar.
Yeah, yeah.
See what I did?
Holy shit.
Hit me with the Allen Iverson crossover.
Fucking breaking ankles in the studio.
I was like, what the?
For the audio listener, he just fucking did a three-piece move with the mic.
It was like James Brown.
So let me tell you.
Something rotten, man.
You turn around, he's got the handkerchief on, and he pulls it back.
We're living on the street.
I got excited.
Woo, got a hot one, folks.
Work out.
Woo, I'm on two hours of sleep.
So I came home one day, and my mom and my dad were crying, but tears of joy,
because my
great uncle died.
Such dirtbag shit, I love it.
But he left me and my sister and a couple other cousins our age, 40 grand each.
Damn.
And I had never had any money before, right?
So for me, this was like, I was like, I'm a fucking millionaire.
Were you going to get this?
They were excited because they were going to pay the mortgage.
Exactly.
So the whole deal was me and my sister both had to give, we both decided, well,
we didn't
decide, they decided for us to give them half the money.
So we each gave them 20 grand, and that was enough money to buy the house back,
or at least
make the down payment.
But then with the rest of the money, I just fucking blew it, dude.
How old were you?
I was 18.
Dude, 20 grand and 18?
Good night.
I was buying everybody fucking, we go to TGI Fridays, everybody, get two samplers.
Yeah.
Two samplers.
Buddy.
You want Santa Fe egg rolls?
Bring them in.
Those Santa Fe egg rolls ain't cheap.
Dude, you ready for the most-
I don't think they're from Santa Fe either.
No.
You ready for the most garbage shit ever?
So I had never had nice clothes, so I just started buying shit.
This is also, like, at the height of fleece.
Oh, yeah.
Do you remember when fleece was really big?
Performance fleece was big.
Yeah, fleece was huge.
I'm still wearing it now.
I mean, it's comfy.
It gets cold here.
It only lasts a couple of days, and the lint's just fucking embedded.
So one day I went to the mall, I spent $2,000 on fleeces.
On fleeces?
Fleeces.
$2,000.
Ralph Lauren, Timberland.
I'll give you that, though.
Ralph Lauren put together a nice pullover back in the day.
Oh, yeah, dude.
Shout out to fucking Ralph.
Oh, yeah.
Where did they go wrong?
Isn't polo kind of shitty now?
No, I don't think so.
They have a couple offshoot brands.
Well, they went higher.
They have their fucking purple label or something.
The high went high, the low went really low.
Yeah, and now there's no middle ground.
You know what I mean?
I mean, dude, Tim Dillon's supporting half their business with his fucking
shirts.
That's all he wears is polo.
The thing about polo is I had a couple of big guys in my family,
and they'll go up to fucking 30X.
So you can buy as big as possible and still look presentable.
They're the only—because we've had to do weddings where—
Interesting to know.
Yeah, we've had to do weddings where everybody had to wear the same polo or
whatever,
and they're like, you have to do Ralph Lauren because you can get like a
fucking 6X, 7X.
Forget him, buddy.
There's some big motherfuckers in your family.
A 6X?
Yeah.
There's a couple of big boys in the family.
How many X's does it go to?
Like, can I go?
I mean, what the fuck you looking at me for?
I'm a 4X.
I'm sitting here as a large.
What do you got?
Dude, if he's a 4X, what the fuck is a 6X?
Yeah, I me