Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Ralph Sutton - Creepy Class
Uploaded: 2020-10-01T01:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Ralph Sutton - Creepy Class' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Ralph Sutton - Creepy Class' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-01. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Ralph Sutton - Creepy Class

Hey, gang, it's your old pals, Uncle Hank and Kippy.
Just want to thank you for tuning in to Are You Garbage?
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Do it.
Yeah.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians
are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Woo, baby!
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back
to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is Are You Garbage, the show where we sit down
with your favorite comedians to find out if they grew up classy
or if they're absolute trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a rainy day
here in New York City in the East Village in the big studio
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Yeah, that's me.
Is coming at you from right next to me.
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Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
Hey, what's up, everybody?
Your intros are getting longer and longer.
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We appreciate it.
It's the end of the month.
We got our evaluations coming up.
I know.
Dude, I feel like I'm in the principal's office.
What the fuck?
Gang, we have an incredibly special guest with us here today.
You know him.
You love him.
He is the host of Good Sugar.
He is also the host of Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll.
And the owner of Gas Digital Network.
But the big question in everybody's mind today, is he garbage?
He says he's not.
Staunchly says he's not.
He's been saying it for weeks.
He says that we are going to be stunned about how un-garbage he is.
Now, normally, you know we like to keep it light here.
But when somebody starts shooting it off at the mouth a little bit.
I take it as a personal fucking challenge.
We do a little digging.
I've been staking out this guy's apartment for the last 38 hours.
And it ain't good.
I'll tell you that right now.
Ladies and gentlemen, do me a favor.
Give me a big round of applause.
He's a fucking tall drink of water.
He's a good-looking dude.
I assume he's got a fucking big old hog on him.
I have to guess.
Wouldn't mind getting some fucking confirmation on that.
Taking a peek.
It's behind the paywall.
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the one and the only.
Mr. Ralph Sutton, everybody.
Thank you so much.
I want to clarify, though.
While I do think I'm not garbage, I do think I'm a creep.
Those are two different things.
Very different.
I think it's a fucking case open and shut on you being a creep.
I'm a creep.
I don't think I'm garbage, but I definitely think I'm a creep.
Okay.
Well, we're going to find out.
What is the origin story of Ralph Sutton?
As far as did he grow up?
Did he come from a little bit of cash?
I feel like he might have.
I sort of did.
Born in Brooklyn.
Okay.
I have a twin brother.
Okay.
How do we know you're the real Ralph Sutton?
That's what I want to know.
I can have the fucking twin on my hands.
I don't know what's happening.
I'm actually 6'5", he's 5'7".
Really?
You would not confuse us at all.
Oh, man.
Talk about the short end of the stick.
Yeah, talk about looking at a better you every fucking day.
That's a tough look.
He's actually better looking, to be honest.
Really?
But I'm just much bigger.
I was born New Year's Eve.
He was born New Year's Day.
We're twins born in different decades.
Very weird side story.
I was born 69 and 70.
I'm 50.
Parents got divorced when I was 5.
Okay.
My father got remarried a few years later and stayed married to that woman
until he passed
a few years ago.
Okay.
My mother moved to Florida and she got married at 70 to a man in his 50s and
they're still
together.
They've been dating for like, I think they were dating for several years and
now they've been
married for a few years.
That's pretty weird.
Oh, that's check number one right there.
I don't know if that's trashy.
That's weird.
That's a weird thing.
That's good for her.
I can say this.
My mom doesn't have money nor to see.
It's not like she married her for money.
Okay.
My mom, and this is not a, if you look up my mom online, she's attractive.
Wait, you can look up your mom online?
Why?
My mom doesn't know how to turn on a computer.
Ralph's like, check out my mom's fucking OnlyFans.
After my mom did SDR, if you Googled my name, the next thing was Ralph Sutton's
mom was
one of the top search things for a while.
Wow.
Um, she's a pretty woman.
You know, she's like a, vibrant, yeah, like still plays tennis and still very
active.
So it's not like when you think 70, she's not, she's 74 now, but she's very
active.
She's still very sociable and stuff.
And they've been together 10 years and married for like three or four.
What'd your pop do growing up?
Uh, well, he was in retail when I was a kid.
Sounds shady.
I like it.
Retail in Brooklyn.
Retail, like Jewish retail, you know what they call it?
Shmata.
Ah, it was your Shmata.
Shmata dealer, which means garbage.
Actually, um, or shit, but garbage, right?
And, uh, then he got into real estate and became very successful in real estate.
My father and his brother, my uncle, that were business partners and became
very successful
guys in real estate.
That was his main business.
But that was actually the Shmata.
That was a very classy, that was like a thing.
That was an industry back then.
The Shmata?
Yeah.
A lot of it was, a lot of it was, you know, Jewish, especially people that cut
fabric and
stuff like that.
That's where they're from.
My dad's family was from Syria, Syrian Jews.
And that's very much the garment industry is Syrian Jews.
At least it was not so much.
I watched a documentary on it.
It was like super interesting.
Yeah.
It was much, I'm very much.
That's what I was.
Ralph Sutton story.
What documentary did you do on?
Sorry about my dad.
And my mother came from no money at all, but my mom, which is very, I think
could tie into
how I ended up in this business.
She ran comedy club when I was a kid, comedy, like cabaret show club in the
city called upstairs
of green street.
And it was cheaper than a babysitter.
I'd be there all the time.
And so I saw Chris Rock, Ray Romano, Larry David, Gilbert Gottfried, Bill Hicks,
all these
greats when they were young.
And I was 12, 13, going there every week to see shows.
It was a great thing to have that part of my life.
In fact, Ray Romano did SDR a couple of weeks ago.
I just saw that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that came from me bumping into him at a place in California.
And I told him, oh, my mom is Leah Sutton.
And he goes, oh, shit, I remember you, mom.
We had the whole conversation.
And then I got his assistant's number and he came on the show.
That's awesome.
He really turned out to be a fantastic actor, too.
He was great in fucking The Irishman.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was fantastic.
And he got vinyl from-
He was great in that, too.
Yes, he was.
Scorsese didn't know who he was, which is crazy to think.
What, dude?
That's how fucking rich-
Yeah, Scorsese is.
He doesn't know who Ray fucking Ray Romano.
Ray Romano's got 19 fucking Emmys.
Yeah, no kidding.
All right, so you said your parents were divorced when you were five.
Divorce, I was like, I barely remember them together.
And who did you live with growing up?
My mother.
But you saw your dad and all that kind of stuff.
We'd see my dad every weekend.
I'd live with my mom Monday to Friday.
Friday afternoon, we would get a car service to my dad's house.
A little bit of cash.
A little bit of cash.
And we'd stay with my dad for the weekend and then come back Sunday.
And where was your dad's place?
Well, this is where you're going to start sending.
So my dad had a place here in the city.
Okay.
All right.
But he also had a home in Miami and a home in the Hamptons.
What?
That off selling polos?
That's pretty good.
Yeah, yeah.
Pretty wild.
Yeah, he said real estate.
Real estate's where he took them to the next level.
Yeah.
Wow.
Huh.
That's pretty good.
House in the Hamptons.
It was weird.
Send the car to go get the kids.
Private school?
Wait, no.
Well, so I was in private school up until eighth grade, but I didn't want to go
to private
school anymore.
I didn't like the sheltered life.
So they wanted to put us into a Sephardic Jewish high school.
And my brother and I demanded to go to a public school.
So I went to John Dewey in Coney Island.
Oh, wow.
Very different.
Yeah, I just wanted to have it.
I didn't want to be a sheltered kid.
And when I went to my school of first to eighth grade, I only had a hundred
kids in the whole
school from first to eighth grade.
My graduating class was six people, and my brother and I were two of them.
That's always so fucking weird.
I know people that went to school that graduated at like 12.
I'm like, what the fuck?
But then high school had 4,000 people.
Yeah.
It was a culture shock.
What years were you in high school on Coney Island?
87 to 91.
Holy shit.
Yeah, it was not.
Sorry, no, no.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
83 to 87, 87 to 91 is college.
83 to 87, it was when I was in high school.
It was not a good play.
Oh, I can imagine, man.
I mean, it was definitely like the Warriors.
Very much.
Coney Island was like, the school was kind of like an oasis where it had like a
campus,
and you had to have an ID to get on the ground.
Sure.
But once you walked off the ground, it was not a safe play.
It's garbage.
It's total garbage.
Dealing with the new cops.
That was garbage by choice, though.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I wanted to mingle.
Let's mingle with the poor people.
See what the other half is like.
Sure, yeah.
My dad got me a car when I graduated.
Like, right before I graduated, the senior year, I got a car.
I wouldn't drive it into school.
I didn't want people to know I had to got a brand new car.
Yeah, they robbed you.
What was it?
What was the way?
Toyota Celica.
All right.
Yeah, and I just never didn't want that part of it.
You know, I got into a very, at 83, in 83, 84, I was really into breakdancing.
Check, please.
I was in a breakdancing movie called Crush Groove.
I was.
What?
You were in Crush Groove?
Jay makes fun of me for all time because you can't see me in the video, but I
could get
10 people in here that were with me that day.
We got paid to breakdance.
That's pretty cool.
He's like Leonardo in The Departed.
He's got two fucking lives.
Dropping his R's on the weekends and shit.
And then, which is a crazy story, I got very into the illegal aspect of
computers at 15.
I was wanted b