Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Mike Vecchione - Florida Class
Uploaded: 2020-10-15T01:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Mike Vecchione - Florida Class' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Mike Vecchione - Florida Class' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-15. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Mike Vecchione - Florida Class

Hey, gang, it's your old pals, Uncle Hank and Kippy.
Just want to thank you for tuning in to R U Garbage.
Yeah, guys, make sure you subscribe.
That way you get the episode as they come out.
And you can also go to gasdigitalnetwork.com,
use promo code AYG to get bonus content
and get the episodes before they come out and HD streaming.
Do it.
Yeah.
Welcome to another exciting edition of R U Garbage,
the show where you find out if your favorite comedians
are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley.
Woo-hoo-hoo!
Yes, sir!
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back
to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is R U Garbage, the show where we sit down
with your favorite comedians and find out if they grow classy
or if they're absolute trash.
I'm your host, H Foley, coming at you on a nice, chilly, rainy,
folly day here in New York fucking city, alive and well
in the East Village, here in the Gas Digital Studios,
in the big studio.
Could not be more excited.
My co-host coming at you from right next to me.
All right?
He's a good kid.
He's a good shit.
Gang, you know the drill.
The next time you're reaching for a best pal,
you go ahead and you make it a kippy,
which is going to be a t-shirt coming very soon,
and I think you're going to like the design.
I'm custom crafting this with one of the best artists in Europe.
Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
Hey, thanks for flubbing three words in that last sentence of yours.
What's up, everybody?
Thanks so much for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
You can subscribe there as well.
And also, Gas Digital Network, if you want to sign up,
get the whole catalog of shows.
You can sign up, use promo code AYG.
We get to wet our beaks a little bit.
Love that money.
You save a couple of bucks, we make a couple of bucks.
It's a win-fucking-win, baby.
Yeah, thanks a lot, guys.
Absolutely.
And gang, we could not be more excited to have our incredibly special guest
with us here today.
Another super requested comedian on the podcast today.
This kid's an earner.
I'll tell you that right now.
He is a very successful stand-up comedian and actor.
As a stand-up, he has appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.
He has his own Comedy Central Presents, Comedy Underground with David Tell,
Last Comic Standing, Conan, Comedy Knockout, The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon.
This week at the Comedy Cellar, all right, as an actor,
he has appeared in Inside Amy Schumer, a.k.a. Wyatt Cenock,
and a fucking scene-stealer in the summer fucking blockbuster,
The King of Staten Island.
But most importantly, he is a part of the Gas Digital family.
He has an incredible podcast right here on the network that I know all of you
are fans of.
And if you're not, you got to fucking check it out.
It's called No Disrespect.
The big question in mind today, is he garbage?
I'm saying no, because every time I'm around him, I get the feeling he wants to
hurt me.
So I think he's got a really good sense and judge of character.
Give it up for the one, the only, Mr. Mike Vecchione, everybody.
Hey, thank you guys for having me in to test whether I'm garbage or not.
Dude, you see.
I like you guys, Foley and Ryan.
It's like rogue cops.
Yeah.
Yeah, cornering me.
Fatso and the Baldi is what we call it.
We made some mistakes.
We're trying to get it all back, trying to get it right.
Well, like I told you before, I'm a big fan of the podcast.
I'm ready to be put to the test.
I made sure I got plenty of sleep last night.
I did my stretches and my mental acuity exercises.
So I'm ready for anything you have to throw them at me.
Mayo, no.
Ketchup, no.
Any kind of those white trash things, those condiments that you throw them at
me,
I'm already ready to say no.
Grape Poupon, yes.
Yeah, let me make the decision for you easier, okay?
I come confrontational.
I come confrontational.
It gets views.
It gets listens.
He's putting the system on trial.
He's on trial.
Like a Jimmy Stewart over here.
I'm going to go right into it.
I know you guys like to work up.
I know you guys like an arc.
Dylan went to the, we went to the same high school.
Did you guys know that?
He had mentioned it.
I can't believe that.
Community high school, home of the Bobcats.
In Boca.
You guys got a couple of live Bobcats in the fucking studio.
I don't know if you realize that or not.
This guy's all hopped up on Kratom over here.
91 and 15 in this bitch.
Holy shit.
I do want to say, you fucking stole that scene in fucking the King of Science.
Thank you.
Man, fantastic.
Fucking awesome.
Was that one of your, that's one of your bits, I believe, right?
Or is it something?
Well, I improv, the beauty about Judd is he'll put you in a scene and then
there's lines,
but he'll let you improv it.
Yeah.
And he'll give you a bunch of takes and it's fantastic.
It was, it was, that was like one of the joys to see you get that like as I was
watching
and then they kept coming back to it.
I'm like, oh, and you just kept tagging it and tagging.
It was fantastic.
And Pete was very generous in that too.
He just let me roll.
That was a very classy thing he just did there too.
And I'm saying that there's no doubt in my mind that you're classy.
There's no, there's no doubt.
But you're still going to ask me the questions though.
Of course.
We'll see if, we'll see if there's any dirt there for sure.
But when he said, when he said, that's the thing about Judd.
Yeah.
It's a classy segue.
That's the thing about Judd.
Nice.
You guys are being both good cops right now.
I'm waiting for the bad cop to come out.
You're bad cop for both of us.
You came in shooting.
You're psychologically trying to trick me into relaxing.
Get the phone book in here now.
And then you're going to hit me.
Do you have an above ground pool?
Which is a sure sign that you're white.
Oh, yeah.
He's got one.
He's got one that's half.
They dug it a little lower.
So it's half above, half under.
Build a deck around it.
And build a deck around it.
You dive right in, Mike.
Walk right off the patio, dive right in.
But you can't dive.
It's only three feet.
So do a cannonball like a gentleman.
It's more of a puddle, I think.
Is it Long Island?
No, outside of Philly.
Oh, okay.
We talked about this a little briefly.
You do have Jersey roots though.
No, I lived in Philly for eight years.
And I taught there.
But I don't have any.
But you didn't grow up there?
No.
Ah.
Uh-uh.
Okay.
Interesting.
Did you start comedy there?
Because I remember you being a Philly guy member back in the day in Philly.
I started comedy at the Laugh House in Philly, which is no longer in business.
But I think it's interesting, the dives that you said.
It's like a cannonball is a white trash dive.
A dive is actually classy.
Sure.
If you can hold one off.
You know, there are different ways to leap into the water.
Yeah.
The trashiest would be the can opener.
Yeah, the one-legged.
Because there was only few guys that could do that very well.
They were always underage smokers.
They wore cut-off jeans.
They had, like, a really thin chest with, like, a little bit of chest hair.
They were banging somebody's mom.
You're describing everybody who hangs out at the Wawa in South Jersey.
But when they show up at that pool, man, they got fucking athletic ability.
But the thing that made it trash to you is, like, that was their time to shine.
You had to convince them.
Like, hey, Greg, come over.
Do the can opener.
Like, really get it going.
And they reveled in it.
What does a can opener look like, if I might be so-
It's the one-legged can opener.
One-legged.
You might know it as a cherry bomb, I think, too, as well.
Okay.
It's a-ka.
Cherry bomb.
That's really-
The belly flop also is a white trash.
Of course.
That's, you know.
A belly flop contest.
If you've ever been to or participated in a belly flop contest, you can't come
back from that.
I mean, it's one step away from suicide.
Let's just really be honest.
But the can opener shows athletic ability.
And that is when people peak.
There was that guy that could do that, all right?
There was the guy.
I knew a kid.
He was the biggest dirt ball in our town.
But he could hold himself sideways on a fucking, like, a street pole.
Wow.
Yeah.
There was always single family, single parent families.
Oh, yeah.
Do weird shit like that.
Had a mini bike zipping around.
I had a mini bike.
I think you guys are talking about core strength right now.
That's where you get into my territory.
This guy shines.
You're a buff guy.
I'm losing weight.
I'm massively losing weight.
You do keep it tight.
You have a strict diet.
You keep it tight.
Well, I was on a diet.
And we can get into a diet if you want to.
I don't know if this counts.
Big.
But I was on the – I've been experimenting with a bunch of stuff.
But I finally figured it out now in quarantine.
I could be more excited about it.
Great.
What is it?
What are you doing?
A keto version of keto?
It's a keto version of intermittent fasting.
So I'm doing keto.
But I would just – my problem is overeating.
So I would just do keto.
But then I would just overeat during that.
And then that didn't help me at all.
So it's like – and I refused to do intermittent fasting for a long time
because I wrestled.
And I suffered when I had to cut weight really bad.
He complains about it too.
I honestly – people don't believe me.
And I would never change it for the world.
I loved it.
It was an unbelievable experience.
I honestly feel like that has – that fucked me up and fucked up my
relationship with food.
And I honestly – every time I walk up a flight of stairs, I think about that.
Because we used to have to run these stairs over and over and over and over
again.
I think I was already fucked up.
But wrestling implanted that in my mind that this is a lot of suffering.
My friend Greg Warren.
Do you know that?
Yeah, of course.
He's a fucking fantastic comic.
Hilarious.
And was a really, really good wrestler.
He was an all-American.
That's right.
He does have cauliflower.
I noticed that.
He won't get on a scale now.
Wow.
It doesn't matter where.
Doctor's office, physical.
He's like, nope.
And he will get into a verbal thing with the doctor.
He's like, I'm not getting on a fucking scale, dude.
He's like, just close your eyes.
No, no, no, no, no.
I'll know.
He makes him get down on all four.
It's one of the funniest things.
That's wild.
Throwing legs on a nurse during a physical – I told you I ain't doing it!
Holy shit.
So let's get into the origin story of Mike Vecchione here.
Another thing, too, I just want to point this out, if I may, sidebar.
I don't think there's going to be anywhere to go on this.
I have never seen him where his hair didn't look exactly fucking like that.
He's like a cartoon character.
Do you get a haircut every three days?
I believe the word you're looking for is equidistant.
It's shaved up on both sides.
I do that for geometric reasons as much as anything, guys.
I've got to be honest with you.
He's not so much stylish.
He's just big into angles.
How often do you get a haircut?
I cut it every two weeks, but I cut it.
What?
I learned how to cut it in college.
My roommate, James Burrell, shout-out to – I give him credit every time I say
it.
Shout-out to James?
Shout-out to James, one of my best friends.
Everybody's getting a shout-out.
From Boca to Jersey.
From Judd Apatow to James in room 32B.
James, he's a lawyer in New York now, and we went to college.
He was a Maryland state champ.
He was fucking really tough and a lawyer now, and he taught me how to do it in
college.
So I would do it, mess up, and he would just be there to fix it.
And he did that until I figured it out.
That's pretty good.
Cuts his own hair, but he keeps – how do you get the back?
I cut it with a mirror.
I don't trust myself.
It's like a magic trick.
There's a lot of mirrors.
There's a lot of sawing women in half.
Same thing when I take my pants off.
A lot of smoking mirrors.
I'm always amazed by t