Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Jessica Kirson - Jersey Class
Uploaded: 2020-10-22T01:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Jessica Kirson - Jersey Class' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Jessica Kirson - Jersey Class' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-22. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Jessica Kirson - Jersey Class

Hey, gang, it's your old pals, Uncle Hank and Kippy.
Just want to thank you for tuning in to R U Garbage.
Yeah, guys, make sure you subscribe.
That way you get the episode as they come out.
And you can also go to gasdigitalnetwork.com.
Use promo code AYG to get bonus content
and get the episodes before they come out and HD streaming.
Do it.
Yeah.
Welcome to another exciting edition of R U Garbage,
the show where you find out if your favorite comedians
are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley.
Woo, baby, that intro takes me back to the summer of 2020.
Hey, everybody out there,
and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is R U Garbage,
the show where we sit down with your favorite comedians
and find out if they grew up classy
or if they're a piece of garabaggio.
I'm your host, H Foley, coming at you
on a nice crisp fall day here in the East Village, New York City.
It feels like they're shooting E.T. outside.
I fucking love it, man.
I love it.
My jacket does not fit in the traditional sense,
but that is neither here nor there.
I can't do the Hawaiians after Labor Day,
so I'm going with the Hawaiian athletic jacket
that fit me last Christmas.
But that's neither here nor there.
My co-host coming at you from right next to me.
Gang, you know the drill.
He cooks the books.
He keeps everybody in line.
He keeps the IRS and the feds and the CIA off our back.
The next time you reach for a best pal,
do yourself a favor.
You go ahead and make it a kippy.
Give it up for Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
Hey, gang, happy to be here.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate,
review, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
You can subscribe there as well.
Those numbers are through the fucking roof.
Also, you can sign up for Gas Digital Network
using promo code AYG.
You get to save a couple of bucks every month.
We get to make a couple of bucks every month.
It's a win-win for everybody.
Happy to be here.
Yes, sir.
And, gang, we could not be more excited.
And I know you could not be more excited.
Because this is a highly requested guest we have today.
And I'll tell you what.
This rap sheet right here accredits.
We got a little fucking star power in the building.
A little bit of juice coming in.
Make that cappuccino decaf extra foam, kid.
All right?
Gang, our guest today is an extremely funny stand-up comedian and actor.
As an actor, she has appeared in the Jim Gaffigan show,
Kevin Can Wait,
The Comedian with Mr. Robert De Niro.
Crashing Ramy, the King of Staten Island.
Okay?
As a stand-up comedian.
Sit back.
Get fucking comfortable.
This is going to take me a minute.
Let's go.
Here we go.
We're going back.
Last comic standing.
Last call with Carson Daly.
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.
Twice.
The OG.
OG.
All right?
We're talking shoulder pads, big suits.
Fucking LA.
Looks like you got shoulder pads in right now, to be honest with you.
They're wide receiver pads.
All right?
We got The Apprentice.
The Apprentice.
Wanda Sykes, hilarious.
Gotham Comedy Live.
The Nightly Show, At Midnight.
What's Your Fucking Deal?
This week at the Comedy Cellar.
Lights Out with David Spade.
I will now turn the page.
The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon.
Woo!
Tournament of Lass on TBS and the new series, Stars in the House.
And she also has her own special out called Talking to Myself, presented by Mr.
Bill Burr.
Ladies and gentlemen, the big question in everybody's mind today, is she
garbage?
I don't know that, but she's a fucking hell of a stand-up comedian, and she's
goddamn successful,
and I'm sure she's got a little bit of cash on her, because she bought a brand
new fucking car today,
and we're going to hear all about it.
Give it up for Jessica Kurson, everybody.
Thank you.
Much deserved intro.
Hi.
That's so nice.
So happy to have you here.
I'm so happy to be here.
I know I've had to cancel a couple times, and I apologize to you guys.
We've had to do the same, so we're glad it finally worked out.
Yeah, it's your fault.
How was Leno?
Was he cool?
Was he handsy?
What's the deal?
He fingered me, but he was very, he was nice, so it doesn't matter.
Real quick.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Buddy, thanks so much for coming in.
Thank you.
No, he was actually incredibly nice.
He came backstage twice and talked to me and was really sweet.
He was.
That's one guy I've always wanted to meet.
Really?
I think.
Just because I grew up watching him.
Yeah.
I grew up watching him and then Conan, you know, so I've always wanted to meet
him.
Yeah, and they're all pretty nice.
I mean, some of them are known to be dicks, but most of them are really nice.
Yeah.
I want to meet the guy that played him on The Nightly Show.
Remember that?
That movie?
No.
You never saw that?
I remember it, but I can't picture who that is.
He looks just like him.
All right.
That would have hit if everybody would have saw the movie.
I mean, dude, you went for a deep cut with The Nightly Show.
Can't you edit that out?
Yeah, still.
Cut that.
That's at four minutes and 31 seconds.
Kill everybody in the live stream.
Yeah, we've been really trying to have you on for a long time.
We're so glad that we got you here.
What is the backstory of Jessica Kirsten?
Where did you go?
You're a Jersey gal, I think.
Yes.
Yeah?
Yes.
I grew up in South Orange, New Jersey.
Okay.
That's a little bit of cash down there, right?
Yes.
A little bit of money.
Yes, in my part of the town.
Nice.
I lived in an area called Newstead, which everyone called Jewstead.
So, not religious, though.
Anytime people think that, they're like, oh, you must...
I was not brought up religious, just reform.
Just culturally Jewish, though?
Yes, yes.
And then my parents were married.
They got divorced when I was 13.
And my mom got remarried to Zach Braff's father.
That's right.
Right.
So, there's four kids there.
There were two of us, just my sister and I.
So, it became six of us.
From scrubs?
Three girls and three boys.
Zach, like the Zach Braff.
Zach Braff is your stepbrother?
Yes.
We did a Q&A together last night.
That's crazy.
It was fun.
Yeah, we did it for charity.
I mean, we made money, but it was for...
He's like, ask for 20 grand.
Jesus Christ.
He's got the kind of money, too, where it's like,
if it ain't 20, don't even come at me.
I'm not getting out of bed.
Right.
For 20 minutes.
I was like, oh, my God, I'm not used to this thing.
Coming from a comedian, like, 20 grand, I made...
That's what I made in fucking 92.
Right.
That's what I mean.
Yeah, that's this year for COVID, during COVID.
Wait a minute.
Was he an actor when...
He was a child actor.
He was nine and I was 15 when our parents started dating.
And then we lived together when he was 13 and I was...
I don't remember, 18 or something.
Wow.
Okay.
Yeah.
And then my dad got remarried to a woman who was much younger,
and they had two kids.
So now I had a full sister, and then I had four steps and two halves.
That's one of everything.
You're batting a cycle there.
Yeah, I know.
And so you live with your mom?
Yeah, I lived with my mom.
You went with your mom?
Yes.
Then she got remarried.
Yes.
All right.
And then those other kids move in the house.
Right.
What was that like?
Well, some were in college already.
It was...
Actually, I'm very lucky because everyone really got along.
So it was cool.
Like, we really did.
It was like a Brady Bunch situation.
It was.
Yeah.
And then I also lived at my dad's half the time.
So I was one of those kids who lived out of a suitcase.
That's why being a stand-up has been fine for me.
It's easy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because I literally lived out of a suitcase for years.
So he's remarried, new kids.
Your mom's remarried, new kids.
How many kids were in the BRAFs?
So the BRAFs were four.
I had three stepbrothers and a stepsister.
But he was five years, six years younger than you.
Yeah, he was the youngest.
So there's eight of you total.
Like, if you count the half and the step and you, right?
Yes.
Damn, that's a commingled group right there.
I know, and I grew up with one sister until I was a teenager.
So it was weird.
So high school was literally like the Brady Bunch.
Yes.
That's crazy.
Yeah, because we were two girls and they were one girl and three boys.
So when we all got together, it was three boys and three girls.
The Jewish Brady Bunch.
The Brady Bunch.
The Brady Bunch.
First episode, they fire Alice.
She was stealing.
Because she's white.
Get Guadalupe in here.
That's awesome.
How often did you stay with your dad?
Was it like weekends or what was it?
I would go a week and then another week.
So that was hard because I would get used to one house and then I wouldn't want
to go to the other house.
You wouldn't want to go or you would?
I would get like, sometimes if there was an argument, I'd want to go to the
other house.
Yeah, I think that would be pretty good.
It's a nice out.
Yeah, it depended.
It depended on what was going on.
Like sometimes I would want to get out and sometimes I wouldn't want to leave
because they lived in two separate towns.
I thought I was going to ask you how far away.
Yeah, they were like 10 minutes from each other.
Yeah, same with me.
Same school district?
No.
What did you go to, two different schools?
No, I went to Columbia in Maplewood, New Jersey and my dad lived in Milburn,
which was like literally seven minutes away.
So he would just drive me to school every morning.
Yeah, I did that same thing.
You did?
Getting dropped off by your dad.
Every fucking, we did Monday, Tuesday at my mom's, Wednesday, Thursday at my
dad's and weekends flip-flopped.
I know.
I got to say like it was okay, but it did fuck me up.
It does, yeah.
Like I've learned recently that a lot of this shit fucked me up.
It did.
But I mean, there's no way of getting around it if people need to get divorced.
Sure.
Now, did you have your own room in each house?
Yes.
Your own designated room?
Yes.
Sound like when you weren't there, someone else was staying there.
Your posters, your everything.
Your diary under the mattress.
So you had two rooms?
Yes.
I had two rooms.
I know.
And then like they would try to jack them up so that I'd want to stay with one
longer.
You know, that was the good thing.
I got, you get shit out of it.
You learn to play the two against the middle.
Right.
I got a BB gun, a mini bike.
Easy.
That's like a casino right there.
Give you some chips to play on the house.
Yeah.
Did you like one better than the other?
One house better than the other?
Probably changed maybe at times.
Who did better?
Yeah.
Your stepdad or your real dad?
You know what?
Or your mom?
At my mom's, I was near my friend.
I was closer to my friends and I could, you know, do different things like
smoke pot and
drink more.
Yeah.
But at my dad's, I had more fun and I had more stuff there, like more toys.
Yeah.
And then I did fun stuff with them.
So it was, I don't know.
They both were good for different reasons.
Yeah.
Here's a, I have a question.
And this specifically for children of divorce.
Who took you out to dinner more for both of you?
Dad.
Your dad.
Right?
Your dad.
Yeah.
Yeah.
See, that's the way you win a kid over.
I know.
Fucking the ground round on a Thursday night.
The ground round.
Yeah.
We went to a place called Gyro's in Northeast Philly.
Smoking section all day.
It was fantastic.
Gyro's.
Gyro's.
That is garbage.
Yeah.
It was real trash.
I loved it.
Hell of a chicken finger.
Shout out to Gyro's.
Yeah.
I don't know what, because my, one of my best friends growing up, his dad was
divorced.
Yeah.
And the kids lived with the dad.
Dude, we used to go, he was eating out.
I don't know what he did.
He was a lawyer or something.
Every night.
And it'd be like every, every two or three days in the summer, they go, you
want to come
dinner with me and my dad?
It's like, fucking yes.
I know.
You don't go out to eat as much when they're not divorced.
That's so true.
Yeah.
I mean, we always went out to eat.
There's a, there's a home, there's like a fiber in t