Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Tony Hinchcliffe - Mob Kid
Uploaded: 2020-11-02T03:46:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Tony Hinchcliffe - Mob Kid' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Tony Hinchcliffe - Mob Kid' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-02. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Tony Hinchcliffe - Mob Kid

Hey, it's your old pal Uncle Hank. Thank you for subscribing to our YouTube
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to get additional bonus content. We love you and thank you.
Welcome to another exciting edition of R.U. Garbage, the show where you find
out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is R.U. Garbage, the show where we sit down with your favorite comedians
and find out if they're classy or if they're absolute trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful fall day here in New York
City from Gas Digital Studios in the big studio.
Could not be more excited here in the East Village.
My co-host coming at you from right fucking next to me.
He's white knuckling it right now.
He's got something stewing in him.
He's burying some emotions down.
When I can tell you that, this kid's ready to blow.
But, gang, you know the drill.
The next time you're reaching for a best pal, you go ahead and make it a kippy.
Give it up for my best friend in the world.
I love you, buddy.
You set me up for something.
I don't fucking like this.
Kevin James Ryan, gang.
Hey, what's up, everybody?
Thanks so much for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
You can subscribe there as well.
And also, www.patreon.com slash argygarbage.
Yes, sir.
Check it out.
We're on our own.
Woo!
And, gang.
I need this.
We could not be more excited to have our incredibly, incredibly, incredibly
special guest here today.
Big get, baby.
Big get.
He's a fucking huge get.
He's tuning in all the way from the coast via 5G satellite technology brought
to you by Gas Digital Studios.
He is a very successful stand-up comedian, writer, podcaster, and actor.
You've seen him in Crashing.
He's written on The Burn with Jeff Ross.
He's written on the roast of James Franco, Justin Bieber, Rob Lowe, and the
fucking king, Bruce Willis.
You've seen him on Roast Battle.
He worked on Brody Stevens enjoying it.
You've seen him on Last Call with Carson Daly at midnight.
The Joe Rogan experience.
He has his own special out called One Shot.
And, of course, the incredibly successful host of Kill Tony.
Gang, do me a favor.
Give it up for the kid.
The one, the only.
Tony Hinchcliffe, everybody.
Look at him.
Fucking home studio.
Fucking things on the wall.
This guy's successful.
That's it.
This is it.
This is as big as success gets.
I'm telling anybody in the corner of my kitchen right now.
I mean, you got the old AM radio mic right there.
You look like you're calling a fucking ball game in the 40s.
That thing's quality.
Absolutely, man.
I tried to get the shittiest shit popped.
First thing on Amazon that pops up.
Yeah, I did the same thing.
It was like $9.99.
I'm like, this will do.
The beginning of the quarantine, we were all scrambling like we were Howard
Stern to get fucking the feeds up and running.
I like the two big wheels, the reel-to-reel going and shit in my house.
Looking like a fucking idiot.
Ah, no shit.
Buddy, thanks so much for fucking coming on with this, man.
We appreciate it.
I know the fans appreciate it.
Everybody has been fucking asking for you.
And we couldn't be more excited.
Because no one's more garbage than me.
I'm going to convince you guys.
I promise.
You think so?
I know a little bit about you.
I feel like you really take care of yourself now.
You might have really came from garbage, but you run a tight ship, it seems.
It seems like you run a really tight ship right now.
Trim kid.
Dress is nice.
I remember seeing you a couple of times over the years.
Like if you'd pop into the stand or somewhere in the city, always had a fresh,
tight leather jacket on.
Nice jeans.
Looking fresh.
Yeah.
But you think you're garbage.
I guess that's really what I'm claiming is I might be one of the most recovered
former garbage people.
It's like when, you know, I could be like the Robert Downey Jr. almost.
Sure, yeah, yeah.
A good second hand.
Garbage was drunk.
And now I'm like scraps for little kids.
You know.
His mom was a two-door stick.
Just got back from Pebble Beach this weekend.
Been golfing up and down the coast of California, driving my Corvette.
I mean, I'm sort of, now I'm like old guy garbage, but I used to just be
straight raw garbage.
Wait a minute.
That's what you roll in?
You have a Corvette?
Yeah.
That's new money track.
Holy shit, man.
That's Ricky Bobby level.
That's like you get a couple of bucks and you don't know how to spend it.
I love it.
Wait, what year is the Corvette?
2019.
Oh, what color is it?
It's black.
Black with two little Bruce Lee yellow stripes.
Holy shit.
This guy's the fucking A-team.
I like it.
Driving around like face man.
That's a transformer car, Dan.
That's nuts.
You had to have come from garbage to fucking, that's your big purchase.
When you, when trashy people get money, the first car is always a dead giveaway.
Well, yeah.
Well, I feel like real trash, like is like, there's a difference between just
trash, trash
and stupid trash, right?
Stupid trash would go for a Mustang.
That's what I'd be getting.
Stupid trash.
I'd be looking for an IROC Z.
Yeah, exactly.
You got to splurge the extra six, 10, $15,000 and get the real fucking car.
Now, is that your only car or is that, is that your, your, your fun car?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
No, I don't have, I don't need like some truck.
I don't live like that lifestyle.
So you're showing up to the grocery store in a fucking vet?
Yeah.
You can't get a, can't get a case of water in the back seat.
You got nowhere.
You got to buy a six pack.
I don't know if you guys know how this works, but people that, yeah, you don't
have to go
to the grocery store yourself anymore.
That's classy.
That's classy.
Well, we're New York, so we got to go, but still.
I just told you about the vet.
You think I'm walking through a Ralph's?
What are you talking about?
Fresh direct.
You can't take a nice car to an actual grocery store here.
It's all Amazon.
We just spend all the money that we make.
That's just how it works.
That's the rule.
Dude, that's awesome.
That's my favorite answer so far.
I love it.
Getting a fucking vet.
I can't even bring my, I can't believe.
Even this real, I noticed this a lot during the pandemic because it's like, why
are I
just, I've never understood for like two years now, loading water and stuff
like toilet
paper and paper.
Like it's so, it's so dumb.
If you're not on Amazon prime right now, you're just, you're just not even a
human being.
Yeah.
You got to really not be trying.
Yeah.
If you got a case of water in your trunk, you're trash.
I'll tell you that.
I got, I got, I got one that I'll take some out of every now and then, like a
real piece
of garbage.
We say it's real bad to keep those plastic bottles in a hot car because the
micro plastics
just leak into the water.
Whatever dude.
Dude, my mom has been slowly poisoning my family for the last 10 years because
every summer
there's a case of water sitting in the back of the car for fucking three days.
Yeah.
She's a classy broad.
Holy shit.
All right.
So dude, that car says so much.
I can't wait to hear about, uh, about your upbringing.
I feel, I feel like one of your parents had to be John Cougar Mellencamp for
you want to
get a fucking vet.
That's, so where did you grow up?
Yeah.
Where did you grow up?
Youngstown.
The salt of the earth, baby.
That's like the epitome of salt of the earth.
Youngstown.
What do you know about, what do you know about Youngstown?
Just that.
Yeah.
That it's like the heart of America, baby.
Cold, hard steel and Miller Lite commercial.
Yeah.
Keep nose to the grindstone blue collar.
And then there was some mob activity too, I think.
There you go.
Yep.
That's, that's what I'm fishing for because, uh, the mob, it's the central
meeting place
between New York and Chicago.
So a lot of the biggest mobsters and, uh, really a lot of the most important
people, um, back
in the day used to set up central camps in Youngstown.
So it became like the third highest concentration of, um, Italian people for a
long time in America.
And what ended up happening is a lot of mafia stuff.
So yeah, it was the biggest steel producing city in the world.
And when all that went down in like, and it all happened all at once, it was a
big deal
in Youngstown.
We, they were the largest steel producing city in the world.
And then overnight they were nothing and organized crime really ran rampant
because all these
guys had, uh, no jobs.
So they were looking to make money any way they could, whether it was betting
on football
games and all that.
And, uh, um, and as you guys know, uh, you know, those mafia guys, Fridays are
for the girlfriends
and Saturdays or for the wives or whatever they say in the fellas.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that's what, um, that's basically in a big way, what my mom was to my
father.
They were both married with separate families and had entire families.
So my mom and my dad, uh, actually were banging it out with each other for 11
years, 11 years
on the side with no one finding out.
And then my mom, yeah, my mom has four kids.
I have four older brothers and sisters.
Mike, the closest one is 12 years older than me.
That's my brother.
And then a sister, 14 years older than me, a brother, 16 years older than me.
And a sister 18 or nine or 20 years older than me.
Dude, when you get into double digits, it's, it's a bad look to come back from
the double
digit age spread.
I'm very excited.
I'm just beginning here and there's two, uh, older siblings on the dad's side.
So they already were like done making families.
They're the same thing, like 12 and 14 years older than me too.
So they were done making families, but you know, in such an Italian sort of
community,
you don't like, you know, divorce is the last option.
So they're, you know, sleeping in separate beds from their husbands and wives
there.
You know, it's just a whole different operation.
And my mom got knocked up.
They took a little, uh, a little vacation to Niagara Falls, which goes to show
you what
kind of garbage we're dealing with.
Did they go to the wax museum?
Holy shit.
Wait, so was your dad a connected guy?
He was.
Yeah, yes.
I can talk about it now because he's not.
So no point in researching anyone on the internet.
Sure.
Damn.
You know what I mean?
So he was, so he was, so your mom was his gumod.
Oh, that was fucking romantic fucking situation.
Well, it's funny you say that because it really is.
And they both can't, you know, they were never together together.
They never got together and they are completely madly, even though they would
never admit it
in love with one another.
They can, sometimes they sort of admit it if you get enough wine in one of them.
But the lasagna is good enough, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
But they're like never together.
So, uh, I think my dad maybe assumed that my mom would get an abortion, but
that was never
an option.
And so she had me at 38.
In fact, uh, this is one of the, the, one of the only points that I was able to
really
think about that.
What I wanted to mention to you guys was that my oldest sister, who's I, like I
said, either
18 or 20 years older than me.
That's crazy.
I'm sorry.
So check this out.
You ready for this?
She was pregnant with her first child while my mom was pregnant with me.
We got back-to-back pictures of my mom and my oldest sister back-to-back with
their bellies
out in a fucking white trashy clip.
What did your sister have, a boy or a girl?
She had a girl.
So your aunt is your aunt?
I was an uncle at like two or three months old.
Yeah.
That's your aunt?
No, that's