Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Casey Balsham - Cali Trash
Uploaded: 2020-11-05T06:11:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Casey Balsham - Cali Trash' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Casey Balsham - Cali Trash' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-05. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Casey Balsham - Cali Trash

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is Are You Garbage? The show where we sit down with your favorite comedians
and find out if they grew up classy or if they're absolute trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a glorious new day here.
Fucking...
Rising from the ashes like the phoenix.
That's right, gang. We're coming at you from the new studio, currently called
Aunt Tootie's Basement.
Working title.
Here in the heart of Midtown Manhattan. It's like a fucking demilitarized zone
out there.
They're fucking boarding up the windows of the Starbucks. Shit's about to get
real.
But we couldn't be happier to be here at the new studio, and we're so happy to
have you guys come along this journey with us.
I'm your host, H. Foley, sitting to my immediate left. Did I say my name twice?
I don't know. Probably.
Two times the fun.
First time on camera. I don't know what to do with my hands. My hands.
Gang, this guy sitting right next to me put this whole fucking thing together
in the middle of a couple of days.
The only thing I had to pick up was I had to go pick up these mic things.
$23. By the way, I'll be waiting on a Venmo for that.
I'll tell you that right now.
Who do I turn my receipts into?
Gang, he's my best pal in the whole wide fucking world, and I love him, and we
could not be more than happier to be on this journey with him.
Do me a favor.
I will never say journey again, I promise.
Give it up for Mr. Kippy Kevin James Ryan.
Hey, what's up, everybody?
Happy to be here.
Thanks for tuning in, and yeah, guys, we're coming at you from Antutti's.
Tootti's.
Live from Antutti's.
Guys, thank you so much for listening.
As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
You can subscribe there as well, and also...
What else?
Word on the street is there's a Patreon cooking, baby boy.
So what you want to do is go over to patreon.com slash are you garbage.
Sign up.
There's three different levels.
You can sign up.
You can get audio.
You can get bonus content.
First of all, people...
All the episodes are still free for everybody.
Yeah, does everybody understand that?
All the episodes are out right now on the YouTube, on the iTunes, on whatever
the fuck you listen
to your podcast or watch your podcast.
Yeah.
Everything is out there.
So you can go back.
You can watch Gillis.
You can watch Schultz.
You can watch Norman.
You can watch fucking Kim Cogden.
You can watch the whole squad for free.
Yeah.
And then...
However.
Each week we'll be...
I like how you're like, you take care of Patreon,
and shove your big face in.
Each week we'll be doing bonus episodes of Are You Garbage?
And then solo podcasts with just me and Foley that we used to do called Hard
Feelings.
And also we'll be doing live streams with the guests every month where we play
Are You Garbage
with you.
Oh, man.
You got to ask us questions.
We ask you questions.
It's going to be a whole thing.
Not really sure how we're going to do it yet, but it's going to get done.
So check that out, everybody.
We appreciate the support so far.
Yes.
It's going to get done.
It's going to get fun.
And also, like I said, Antutti's Basement is a working title for the studio
right now.
We're going to let one of you guys name the studio.
Maybe.
We're going to figure out a contest.
We haven't gone over this.
The big man gets a couple of Red Bulls in them.
He starts spouting off at the mouth.
And also, gang, we have to introduce our incredibly special producer that just
joined the team
with us, representing the great city of Chicago, Illinois, our good pal, Toby
McMullin, is
here with this gang.
Give me a favor.
Give me a nice big round of applause for Toby for everything he does.
Put this whole thing together, baby.
That's right.
We couldn't be more excited.
We are here.
And also, he asked us to address there is an echo currently.
Yes.
We know that.
Amazon fucking Bezos screwed us with a shipment of soundproofing phones.
Bezos!
Yeah, cocksucker was supposed to be here yesterday.
Bald-headed fuck.
Hanging out on his fucking yacht that has a yacht.
Get out of here, Bezos.
All right.
Give him my fucking sound foam.
I got a gut that has a gut.
This guy's on a yacht with a yacht.
You got a chin with a chin.
Listen, that's neither here nor there, gang.
Now that we got all that out of the way, we could not be more excited to have
our incredibly
special guest here with us for our first episode in the new studio.
New digs.
She is a good pal of ours.
She is a very funny stand-up comedian and podcaster.
You've seen her on Laugh Factory.
You've seen her on Live at Gotham.
She is the former co-host of Not Another True Crime Podcast on Betches.
Yep.
And she's moved on to Greener Pastors.
Now she's got a hot new podcast called Shady Shit Podcast with Casey Balsham on
the Dear
Media Network.
Do me a favor, gang.
The big question in everybody's mind today, is she garbage?
We're going to find out.
Give it up for the one and the only Casey Balsham, everybody.
Hi, guys.
Casey B.
Love that Casey B.
Thanks for having me on your test episode.
Not a test.
The real deal.
They're like, who can we have in the new studio in case it doesn't work out?
The headphones catch on fire.
I text her.
I'm like, there might be some tech issues.
Clear the afternoon.
He's like, did you already vote good?
I need you all night.
Does anyone know where you are?
Yeah.
Thank you so much for doing this.
Thanks for having me on.
I'm excited for you guys.
We wanted to have somebody that we were comfortable with.
You know what I mean?
Someone that we knew that was going to be a home run.
It was going to be a fun time.
And top of the list, Casey B.
Right there.
Oh, thank you so much.
He actually vetoed you twice.
I had to pull up.
I had to put up a big question.
Then you showed up with cookies and I was like, you know what?
You were going to veto me when I came here today?
Yeah.
He was still on the fence when you were in the lobby.
He's like, I don't know about this Casey B.
character.
You pulled a Paul Rudd on us.
You showed up with cookies.
I like it.
Listen, I give, if I'm going to Tootie's basement, I got to provide things.
And I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't even know if I can say it.
I don't think you should let anybody know.
I think Tootie is the name that it should be.
I also.
It's pretty good, right?
Yeah.
But I also love podcast promises.
Like I used to do this on mine too.
To be like, if you do this, we're going to buy you wine.
I'm going to come blow your uncle or whatever.
Like you guys are like, we're going to do it with you.
We're going to play.
Are you like, I never fucking did any, like whenever.
We're going to do it.
We're doing everything.
We're sticking to every word.
You don't get to name this room.
They're not going to play with you.
Prank caller, prank caller, Tobey, dumper.
Let me ask you this.
This is going to be a hot one, baby.
We've been friends for a while.
We have.
Do you think you're garbage?
Listen, I think I have tendencies.
Well, all right.
Let's talk about what you do.
That's what every trash bag that walks in here says.
Tendencies?
Heard that story before.
Yeah, you know, I think if you catch me at a good moment, you know.
No, you're pretty trash.
I mean, we were eating these cookies and she took out her fake tooth so she
could eat the
cookies better.
I mean.
I love that.
Never seen, never seen.
And Tobey even has all of her teeth.
Listen, listen, listen, though.
Yeah, they're wired in.
Isn't taking care of your teeth kind of not trashy?
I'll give you that, but to take your tooth out and put it on the recording
table.
But how good was the cookie?
I can't eat.
It was a good cookie.
I can't eat with the tooth in.
I will say this.
As somebody who's missing a couple of teeth in the back, all right, when you're
getting
it.
Most of the YouTube comments say it's the front, by the way.
You got a couple of big beaners in there, dude.
Yikes.
Thank you.
I think I do have a dead one coming because when I floss it.
You got a dead one growing in?
That's how trashy Foley is.
He grows dead teeth.
That your insides made a choice and were like, get this out of me.
I got my dead wisdom teeth coming in.
There's one in the back that when I floss it, I can taste that juice.
You know, that like juice out there.
Oh, that just means that's like old chicken in there.
But that does mean bacteria.
Real tender piece of meat.
Now I'm nervous.
Yeah, yeah.
I definitely had that.
But what I was going to say is.
That just ruined my day.
I also don't like the use of definitely in that.
It's like definitely have that.
Definitely got some meat and some bacteria.
What I was going to say.
If you're going to the dentist to get the tooth pulled, that's not really
taking care of the tooth.
That's true.
That's, you know, that's the corner.
But she's got that piece.
She's got like the half.
It is pretty sweet.
Oh, man.
It's a pretty sweet grill.
You get half of it.
Can I tell you it's sharp as fuck?
They like sharpened it in there.
And it makes me feel like I have like a retainer or a lisp.
Like I feel like I have to like overly correct, like put my lip over it to like
talk.
Mr. Red.
Hello, Missy Truly.
It's Henry Hume.
I'm telling you, there's never been a better time to be toothless than when we
have to
wear the masks.
It's like I couldn't have asked for a better time to look like a fucking, you
know.
I was thinking about that today.
When I was, I was waiting in line for the old COVID test today.
By the way, clean as a whistle.
Huh?
Congrats.
They did it.
They did it rectally.
Yeah.
I was just about to say, I put it in my butt.
But I had my mask on and it's a good time for people.
I talk to myself a lot, like a lot.
And it's a great time to be wearing the mask when you talk to yourself a lot.
Nobody hears you talking shit.
It's fucking, it's fucking nice.
Yeah.
I didn't know that about you.
What?
Did I talk to myself?
That you're fucking insane.
Oh, man.
Really?
All the time.
My girlfriend, my girlfriend catches me.
She's like, psycho.
Cause I'll just, I'll either be like talking at a bit or like, you know.
Yeah.
Or sometimes.
Hey, where are you from?
What are you doing?
Just doing hack crowd work?
Yeah, I'm just saying.
Oh, you're an accountant?
No way.
All right.
How long you two been together?
Fucking loser.
Is that your dad?
Is that your dad?
Is that your dad?
They didn't know it's your brother.
Oh my God.
You guys fuck?
This is fully Zach for the listeners.
Yeah.
Either that or I'll be, I'll be arguing with somebody in my head.
I've always had that.
Oh yeah.
I argue with somebody.
It's something that maybe never even had transpired, but I'll, I'll, I'll be
fighting
with someone in my head and I'll be like a lot of like, yeah, pussy.
What the fuck?
Like shit like that.
Yeah.
So having a mask really, really helps you out.
Patreon.com backslash.
Are you garbage?
We got to get into it.
This guy's looney tunes.
This guy's bonkos.
I need a zoom call with fucking, with, with a, with a shrink.
Um, all right.
So you think you have garbage tendencies.
What is the backstory of KCB?
I think I know.
I believe the Bay area.
I grew up in San Francisco.
See, that's pretty crazy.
I mean, I grew up in between San Francisco and South San Francisco and a little
town called
Daily City.
Wait a minute.
Back it up.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
You grew up in between San Francisco and South San Francisco.
Yeah.
Yeah.
South San Francisco, by the way, it's very different than San Francisco.
No.
It's like, so there's like the peninsula.
So it's like San Francisco.
Is this Oakland?
No, no, no.
Oakland's like on the other side.
Is this Sacramento?
Shut it.
No, it's definitely not Sacramento.
What the fuck?
I will vouch for Sacramento being f