Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Natalie Cuomo - Classy Trashy
Uploaded: 2020-11-26T03:26:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Natalie Cuomo - Classy Trashy' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Natalie Cuomo - Classy Trashy' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-26. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Natalie Cuomo - Classy Trashy

hey gang it's your old pals uncle hank and the kipster make sure you subscribe
to the youtube
page that way you get the videos as they come out welcome to another exciting
edition of are you
garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy
individuals
or absolute trash now here are your hosts kevin ryan and h foley hey everybody
out there and
welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast this is are you garbage the
show we sit down with
your favorite comedians and find out if they grew up classy or if they're a big
old piece of trash
i'm your host h foley coming at you on a beautiful day here at aunt tootie
studio we're down here in
the basement she's upstairs had a little oral surgery yesterday real stingy
with the vikes i'll
tell you that but she's got the joint set up nice for thanksgiving the smell
down here is unbelievable
it smells like pine cones oh my god okay i'm really selling it really really
taking some liberties on
these intros the past couple of weeks you don't think i got a spin-off cooking
that i'm pitching
hey shakespeare wrap it up no one's tuning in for these my co-host is coming at
you from right next
to me he's my pal he keeps me in line he's my yin to my yang i don't know what
i would do without him
gang the next time you reach for a best pal you know the drill make it a kippy
give it up for kevin
james ryan hey what's up everybody thanks so much for tuning in as always we
really appreciate it
please make sure you rate review subscribe on itunes those numbers we were top
200 today no big deal
you know what i mean send that to the boss up in corporate we're already out in
and out like that
we felt we fell we shook some hands kissed some babies and we got the at it i
don't want to be
showing off fucking steve jobs you know go yourself uh also youtube uh you can
subscribe there full
video in hd baby that's what we're talking uh those numbers are through the
roof as well we really
appreciate that and then obviously the things that pay the bills what are we
talking here you know what i
talking about patreon.com slash are you garbage the goods go sign up you got it
we need it let's go
um you get bonus episodes bonus videos i'm doing coffee with kippy you're doing
some food videos some
food videos the bonuses are great it's cooking good time it's real content we're
gonna be doing live
stream with you guys at the end of the month uh yeah it's a good time and also
i mean there's a
lot of business we got to get out uh shirts too go to podcast merch.com you can
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them help us pay the rent in this place it's due in a week just in time
and kippy is out of operating capital mom if you hear this i need money so act
now
let's take a minute let's tip our caps to our producer extraordinaire he's the
magic man new
nickname t-bone floating around the office and he doesn't like it that's how
you know it's gonna
stay let's see if it stinks toby mcmullen everybody yeah t-bone all right but
let's get to the business
here to four we could not be more excited to have our incredibly special guest
here with us today
a very requested guest you wanted her we got her she's here she's a big get we're
excited to have
her here she's a very successful stand-up comedian actor and entrepreneur all
right as an actor she's
appeared in data management she has a podcast out called thirst trap and she is
the co-founder
of the magazine classy trashy co-founder name on the manifest
fucking big time you keep saying that i don't know if that's the right word i
don't know it's
some social network one of them had the name on the manifest the other one got
screwed gang do
me a favor give me a nice big round of applause for natalie cuomo everybody
yeah thanks for having
me thanks for coming coming in very requested and uh very i mean you're living
in the world of trash
that's it's kind of your brand i am i am living in the world of trash i love it
but it's very sleek
i've seen the magazine it's it's listen her trash and your trash are a little
different okay
she's cool hip trash you're fucking out by the dumpster her trash is leather
jackets and motorcycles
mine's having showered in a couple of days and eating some questionable food
out of the refrigerator
yeah you know what i did change my tampon in the sci-fi aisle of barnes noble
yesterday holy
shit what the fuck holy why were you in a barnes and noble let's start there to
change
the bathroom they're close to the public yeah that's true that's tough that's
why you see so
you see so many people pissing and shitting everywhere because all the
bathrooms yeah it's
more unsanitary to do this you know what i don't get about the homeless poop in
new york city why are
you gonna breeze over she changed her tampon in the sci-fi section we're gonna
move back to it
why do they poop on the wall why why is it because it it blocks that way if you're
i've thought about
this a lot because i all right you think you would squat go go they will they
bend down because nobody
can see behind you then you only have 180 degree of people that can see you shitting
you don't want to
have you have your defense yeah exactly all right um what'd you do with the
other tampon
since you brought it up goddamn dewey decimal system i i put it in my hands and
i threw it out in the
cafe uh garbage can oh man did you wrap it up or anything did you bare hand it
oh my god you can't
grab a napkin on your way in it was urgent paperback something paperback i was
going through my pants i
needed a holy it's hard being a woman that's tough i that's i mean that's not
that's that's not it ain't
classy the fucking queen of england ain't doing that but at the same time you're
hemmed up in a bad
situation i get it yeah wow i i think it's resourceful more than anything of
course yeah yeah yeah i mean
did they say sorry the bathrooms are closed to the public it was a situation
where i was like my
pants are gonna have a stain in t-minus 30 seconds so you walked in you said
hey excuse
me is it okay if i use the bathroom no i looked around i i saw the sign on the
bathroom door that
said nope and i got to thinking yeah was there a reason you picked sci-fi were
you like this will be
you know are you more of like a non-fiction kind of gal a bunch of nerds in
here show these nerds what a
pussy looks like i've always hated sci-fi yeah damn funny all right so well let
me ask you this now
do you not not in the cool edgy way the magazine did you buy anything
do you think you're garbage um no you don't oh interesting i was thinking about
it today i was
listening to some podcasts some of your podcasts this morning walking my dog
and i was like i'm not
garbage okay well we'll get to the bottom i might be i like it i like a
challenge there's very few
people that came in and said i'm not garbage and ended up not being garbage
that's valid i think there's only two really
we're gonna find out huh and we're gonna start now because now i got a chip on
my shoulder let's see
what's happening let's start with number one where'd you grow up give us the
origin story of natalie
cuomo okay i grew up in bayside queens okay high school moved to astoria okay
oh public high school
private high school public public apartment building two family home one family
home a little apartment
building a little apartment yeah did your family own the building no you rented
the apartment yes brothers
and sisters no oh man she's under a fucking oath right now she's on the stand
she's playing a lot of
defense yeah yeah i like it she's like listen here fatso i ain't giving you the
i ain't giving you
the rope to hang me keep it moving plugs the magazine walks out see you dorks
smacks a sticker on your head
no brothers and sisters no i have three step brothers and this might be a dumb
question step brothers on
what side your parents have divorced when um they separated when i was in fifth
grade got divorced
when i was senior high school oh that's a long separation oh here we go were
they back and forth
a little bit or just like completely separated just never filed the papers they
my mom slept on the
couch the whole time okay here we go that's it here we go i like how that so
what was that three minutes
your mom and dad separated for a decade and she sleeps on the couch that's segalow
right there
that's segalow family yeah pedigree right there my wow all right now let's back
it up a little bit
okay so you're an only child you have your mom and your dad you're living out
in bayside
you said in high school you moved to an apartment in astoria with my mom i did
a half half and happy
oh how was what was it weekly or weekends or what'd you do every other week
every other
was you do a week with your mom and then go a week with your dad you had to go
to bayside
how'd you what'd you do high school did you have to leave i took the q28 and
the seven train
i was in the back of the yellow bus with a capri sun lady you're garbage
no but that's different it's new york school there's no fucking school buses it's
crazy too i always
say kids in the city they grow up when they're sick oh i i remember crying my
eyes out when the yellow
bus dropped me off in like sixth grade and my mom was there to pick me up just
like you guys are
taking the fucking subway at like four years old there's something bad doing
showtime dancing and
shit like that yeah yeah it's fucking crazy it does it does grow you up quick
for sure so your dad stayed
in bayside is this when they got separated in fifth grade okay so we're in
fifth grade right now
your mom moves to astoria no no she moved to astoria in the middle of high
school
so you guys stayed in the same apartment as they were separated and why did
your mom sleep on the
couch you figured the old man would be out there where's chivalry's dead i
guess once you're
separated you're like yo tuts if you ain't paying her rent hit the pullout yeah
exactly so it was the
three of you yep and how did that all go explain that talk about that a little
bit did they keep it
like yeah was it friendly did you have dinner what happened at dinner like a
springsteen song in
there what was the deal um well i became a comedian so yeah there you go yeah
it was uh
wasn't moonlighting canoes yeah it wasn't like my two dads or anything yeah it
wasn't awesome but
it was it was just fine did they go back and did they argue a little bit yeah i
mean here's the thing
if you i think when you give up on a relationship you stop arguing because you're
like because there's no
real passion yeah you're like i don't give a fuck and they both live their
separate lives
would they eat dinner together or no um sometimes how was that for you that's
weird because i'm my
parents divorced and then even when they would see each other like drop-offs
and shit i'd be like yo
don't make eye contact this is awkward look away it was weird you're going back
and forth like you're
in the mob whispering in each other's ear yeah yeah dad said he'd have to check
next week and let me tell
you dad didn't have to check next week were they still they're obviously still
cool to you like
you still did things that your dad you still did things with your mom yeah yeah
they're they're cool
with each other now they're yeah now they all get cool yeah now you're all
fucked up and damaged i know
everybody's cool now oh they're working it out yeah fuck you all right i'm in
my room writing
songs in sixth grade what about holidays would they pull together for that did
you have extended family
around you so yeah they pretended to be together for a little bit for the
extended family nice
so i think that's why i love holidays why because it's a normal glimpse of normality
yeah
because everybody was faking being happy i love festive shit i love it that's
great i love it
uh for did they do it for a certain side of the family was like they were like
was the dad's side
like hey lis