Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Andrew Collin - Upper Class Trash
Uploaded: 2020-12-07T03:21:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Andrew Collin - Upper Class Trash' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-12-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Andrew Collin - Upper Class Trash' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-12-07. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Andrew Collin - Upper Class Trash

Hey, what's up guys? Thanks for tuning in to Are You Garbage?
Please make sure you go subscribe to the YouTube channel.
That way you get the videos as they come out.
Yeah, do it.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there.
Welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
It's the show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and find out if
they go classy.
Just a big old piece of shit.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day here, down here, Aunt
Toadie's basement,
sitting around the table, chopping it up with the boys.
My best pal in the whole world is sitting right fucking next to me.
My knee is touching his thigh and it's twitching because the kid is not calm,
cool, and collected.
A little trigger happy.
He's got anxiety.
Yeah.
Kippy, Kevin, James, Ryan, ladies and gentlemen.
Hey, gang.
Happy to be here.
I really do not like the fact that we're touching.
Guys, make sure you please rate, review, subscribe on iTunes.
Yeah.
The video available on YouTube.
Yeah.
You can subscribe there as well.
Also, patreon.com slash RU Garbage.
You can sign up for bonus content, bonus episodes, videos at the end of every
month.
We're going to be doing a live stream with you guys that sign up for it.
Look out.
You know, you get to ask us questions.
We're going to be asking you questions.
It's a whole fucking scene.
Also, podcastmerch.com.
Let's go.
Get yourself a fucking t-shirt.
Let's go.
And the RU Garbage card game is now out, I hope.
So, get that.
The link will be in the description.
Just in time for the fucking holidays.
And, gang, don't forget, December 10th, we're going to be in Royer's Ford, PA.
The announcements.
There's a lot of them.
Co-headlining at Soul Joel's Comedy Club.
Also, have your pet spayed or neutered, everybody.
Let's get it all out now.
Come on down.
We're in the fourth quarter of the season here, gang.
I got to make a little bit of game.
Let's go.
Those Christmas trees are coming up low on the bottom.
I'll tell you that.
Empty boxes all around.
It's like a department store in the Foley household.
Real quick, let's tip our hats to our producer extraordinaire.
The very funny, the very, very talented Mr. Toby McMullin.
P-Bow, my man.
We love you, pal.
And that's neither here nor there.
Because we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly special, incredibly
requested guest here with us today.
I think it's going to be a real fun one.
You know, this gentleman from You Up with Nicky Glazer and his own podcast
called Puddles.
I slept on his kitchen floor in Bushwick for six months.
Quit bragging.
We called ourselves roommates.
We hung out, watched TV together, talked about life, learned lessons.
It was fantastic.
I'm telling you off the bat, I know he comes from a little bit of cash, but
this kid is straight trash.
Yeah, man.
He's garbage.
You just, you have like a guy who smoked too many cigs, you've seen some shit
face.
Andrew Collin, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh, shit.
I remember stepping over your dead body every day to go to work.
And I'm like, what are you doing, Foley?
He's like, I'm a waiter.
And I was like, yeah, right.
Yeah, you've been dead for six months.
And then you just go, you just go, like a bear, like a bear, like that's woken
up before his hibernation's over.
And he's just, this guy sleeps tense.
Daddy, no.
Comes out of a nightmare every time.
Every time, man.
But then I saw you in that like French restaurant in the West Village and you're
an amazing waiter.
Like you were incredible.
Did you live there?
Did I live there?
No, I walked a dog by there.
Oh, that's right.
Couple of go-getters.
It was a nice dog.
You were working at that restaurant, sleeping on my floor.
I was walking a dog.
You remember?
I just remember being, I remember me and you hanging out watching basic cable,
like laying around while everybody else was at work home.
Right.
That house was a shithole.
We lived next to that drug dealer named The King.
Yeah.
And then one guy just disappeared and we never looked into it.
You only ask questions around here, all right?
There was some Indian guy who thought he was like, he moved there and he came
from a decent family, I think.
And he's like, oh, no, now I'm a hood rat and I'll hang out with the neighbors.
And they just disappeared.
And I swear.
I swear to God.
Ashi 6ix9ine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I love that guy.
Oh, dude, there's a great documentary on Hulu.
Love it.
I watched it.
Love it.
Fantastic.
I watched it.
All about 6ix9ine.
Great marketing.
Yeah.
Can't do what he was doing.
Next episode, we're going to both be in red bandanas.
I did a couple of face tattoos and some downloads.
You know what I'm saying?
All right.
Let's get into it.
I want to hear the backstory of Andrew Collin.
You're a Southern boy, I think, right?
Florida, which a lot of people don't say is Southern.
He comes from a respected family.
Yes, I come from a respected family.
You want to say I come from money fully?
This guy fell off the back of the back of the fucking golf cart.
I fell off a Bentley and I landed on a fucking twin bike from 1946.
I imagine you grew up rich and you were a nightmare.
I started from the top and I fell full.
Yeah.
No, my dad's a doctor.
He's an oncologist, a cancer doctor.
That's pretty good gauge, especially in Florida.
What did he get on his SATs?
Cancer.
No, he's great at finding tumors.
I don't know.
That's all I know.
It's like that dog that sniffs them out.
Did your mom work growing up?
Dessert dog that sniffs too.
Oh, yeah, there is a dog that does that.
Warns you if you have cancer.
Just growls it fully.
Takes a dump on you.
What if you get like you're walking in the airport, he's smelling it.
No, I swear to God, it's fucking lung cancer.
I swear to God, I don't even smoke weed anymore, dude.
That's a guy you put coke in his ass.
He's like, no, I'll show you the tumor.
Hey, that's not a bad idea.
That's not a bad idea.
Somebody get me cancer quick.
Move some product in here.
That's just blow to the movie.
We started out as a cancer ward.
All right, so he's an oncologist.
He's an oncologist.
Where in Florida did you grow up?
Well, I grew up, I was born in Miami.
My dad's from Queens.
Okay.
And my mom's from Chicago.
They met in Chicago.
And then they moved to Miami.
My dad did his residency at Jackson Hospital.
And I was born in Miami.
I only lived there two years.
And then we moved to this kind of, back then it was a smallish town called Port
St. Lucie, Florida.
Okay, I think I've heard of it.
Med spring training.
Sure.
And yeah, it went from like, you know, 12,000 people to 200,000 over a lot of
cancer patients.
It was great for my dad.
This is in the 80s.
Yeah, I moved there in 82.
So we know it was fueling the whole growth of this area.
Cancer, yes.
Cancer and cocaine.
Which go hand in hand, yeah.
Well, C&C.
Factory.
Hey, yo.
Cancer, cocaine, and oranges.
C&C hit factory.
Yeah, so we grew up there.
It was kind of a small town.
I was like the only Jew in like the whole town.
You're Jewish?
I'm sorry.
I know.
I would have never known.
I would have never invited you.
Well, thanks for coming by.
I know.
Yeah.
We appreciate it.
I'm sorry.
I know.
I feel scared in a basement.
I paid you for Italian.
Really?
Yeah.
Really?
I always knew you were Jewish.
Now I cannot see it.
It's like one of those 3D puzzles.
Why don't you know where Waldo is?
You can pick them out right away.
The matching sweatsuit starts to pull things together a little bit, doesn't it?
Yeah.
My dad's a cancer doctor.
All right.
No, so yeah, so we grew up there.
Nice house.
You know, doctors, I'm not going to say.
It is a little weird.
Doctors get rich later.
Yes.
Okay, that's what I was going to say.
They go through a lot of schooling.
Yeah.
I think they deserve their paycheck.
Of course.
You know, like, you know, it's like,
it's not like he just sold one house or something.
Like, the guy saved a lot, a lot.
A lot, a lot.
One big operation, rolls off the residuals.
I did a heart rate in 88.
I get a check every month.
You know what my dad would do?
He'd just cut out a little of the tumor and then keep it going for years.
He's smart.
Real Jew.
Is that what you want?
Is that what you all want?
Business is down.
He's a dirty heap.
Is that what you want?
And did your mom work?
Huh?
Did you?
No.
She was fucking married to a doctor.
She worked a little in the office.
I don't remember her working.
She had a company called Rooms by Robin, which was a interior design company
for about three
days.
Yeah.
That sounds like a rich wife's thing.
Yeah.
It's a hobby.
Yeah.
That was talked about at a couple of dinner parties.
Yeah.
The sequined hats that she made came out.
Everybody was ever a couple of bottles of wine.
He's like, Rooms by Robin.
It rolls right off the tongue.
I can see the business cards now.
She made business cards.
Of course she did.
It was the 80s.
Every dude, if you didn't have a business card in the 80s, you were a fucking
schmuck.
Dad paid for the whole thing.
Of course he did.
Never saw a dime.
So my mom.
I don't think she was raising outside funds for Rooms by Robin.
Yeah.
I mean, it's probably why he cheated.
There we go.
First bombshell of the episode coming in early.
Right.
Why cheated and then married the bitch.
Oh, so they got divorced.
No.
Yeah.
Guy must have been a hell of a doctor.
I'll tell you that.
Wait, when you say she worked at the office, the office wasn't at the house,
was it?
No.
Yeah.
My dad worked at the kitchen.
And I'm just at the, he redid the shed.
What are you talking about?
Well, doctors in the suburbs.
He's jumping out and he's in the pool right next to it.
Don't mind the kids.
Now, let's see your tits.
Don't mind the kids, but I got some bad news.
The bad news.
Get out of here.
Good news is you can stay for dinner.
The bad news is you got to get off the couch because the kids got to sit down.
Yeah.
No.
I, yeah.
So, no.
Yeah.
She worked in the office.
My dad started like a private practice.
When he moved there, he was like the only cancer doc.
There was like one other guy that kind of did cancer.
Gotcha.
And that and fireworks.
So, my dad moved like to the middle of nowhere, essentially.
There you go.
Set up shop.
Being from New York.
My mom didn't want to move there.
So, that probably started the unhappiness.
Okay.
You know, our temple one time, I'm not a big Jew, you know, but back then we
brought it
up nine times already.
I'm not a big Jew, so I'm a temple.
You're like throwing it at people's faces, okay?
I know your audience.
Trying to get a table at a restaurant over here.
I want them to turn it off as fast as possible.
No, but like they put swastikas all over.
They spray it on.
Jesus Christ, dude.
My uncle.
Florida.
That's how they asked me to prom.
Yeah, it was cool.
Dude, Florida is something else.
Yeah.
I don't even know if it was skin.
I guess it was skinheads, you know?
I mean, it was.
It wasn't the Shriners.
There's swastikas everywhere.
There was died.
Six million left, which is kind of witty.
Jesus.
And I remember I brought my Irish or my Italian Catholic friend.
He's like, is this all the time?
And I'm like, nah, it's just for you.
Oh, it's just for you.
You brought him to the temple.
Then it happened to be the one day that they swastikated up.
And he was just like, ooh, like, yeah.
And I mean, last sleepover at the Colin house.
I tell you that much.
I had a lot of good friends.
Before the hate crimes started.
So many hate crimes growing up.
And it came from their parents, you know?
Like, I don't know where the fuck it came from.
Sure.
You know, I remember walking in.
My one buddy's had Mein Kampf, like nine different copies.
What the fuck?
You know, this is pretty cool.
Paperback and hard copies.
Yeah, scratch and sniff.
You could actually smell the dead Jews.
It was pretty cool.
That's fu