Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Dan Soder Returns - Colorado Kid
Uploaded: 2021-01-11T02:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Dan Soder Returns - Colorado Kid' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Dan Soder Returns - Colorado Kid' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-11. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Dan Soder Returns - Colorado Kid

Hey, what's up, guys? Thanks for tuning in to Are You Garbage?
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Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
The show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and find out if they
grew up classy or if they're absolute trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a gorgeous day here down in the
basement.
Aunt Tootie's, she's upstairs glued to the television.
Shit is going down.
Shit's going down.
You might start hearing some stomping.
Or cleaning out a revolver.
I'm waiting for her to come down and ask for bus money to D.C.
She goes, hold on.
I've got to go take care of some fakes.
She goes, I know you've got that new podcast money.
Give me money.
I've got to get up.
Foley, get the Patreon.
Yeah, I've got to go stay at your cousin's house who has a Baltimore accent,
which is the same as this accent.
Same.
Yeah, it's just a little dirtier.
It's a little grittier.
Yeah.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
He cooks the books.
He keeps us in line.
Gang, the next time you're reaching for a best pal, you know the drill.
Make it a kippy and give it up for my buddy, Kevin James Ryan.
Hey, gang.
Happy to be here.
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Get involved, people.
Let's do it, baby.
Get out there in the streets.
Nice little shout out to our producer extraordinaire.
He's the pride of the Chicago comedy scene.
We call him the magic man.
Y'all know him as T-Bone.
Give it up for Toby McMullen.
T-Bone.
Hey, all right.
Bears in the wild card, baby.
One playoff game and they're out.
You guys are going to be excited for a day and then it's going to collapse.
Oh, yeah.
Well, if you're looking to watch the game, we'll be over at the
Globe Pub on Irving Park Road.
They got 50-cent wings.
Outside for the embarrassment that is the playoffs and the Bears are in it.
Gang, that voice you hear is our incredibly funny, incredibly talented
special guest that we have today.
This is a family episode.
We're bringing him back.
If you haven't seen his episode, please go back and watch it.
You know him.
You love him.
You know him from the bonfire.
You know him from Billions.
He has his own HBO special out called Son of Gary.
Right now, you should be checking out.
Do me a favor.
Give it up for the one, the only.
Dan Soder, everybody.
Guys.
Came in high.
This is so much better to be in person.
Yeah.
All right.
God damn it.
You were one of the first real guests.
We were like, fuck.
We could have had Soder in studio because the first was during the pandemic.
I got jealous.
I started seeing people in studio.
Legitimately, I was like, fuck you guys.
I just sit in my room and watch my volume because the people above us say that
I have a booming
voice.
Guy's got a lot of bass on him.
I'm like, dude, my girlfriend and I have been, I want to say accosted by two
neighbors
throughout this that were too loud.
And my girlfriend's response to this, which is the most cold-blooded G shit I've
ever
heard.
And it makes me love her even more.
She goes, you're welcome.
We should have started a Patreon for you.
It's like, you guys are hearing a crossover of Comedy Central and ESPN.
Exactly.
And you're knocking on the walls?
Yeah.
You're getting it straight from the source.
You're also hearing a lot of shit talking about people that we can not talk
shit about publicly.
Once they stop, once the record's off, they fucking let it fly.
They're getting the real, real.
I feel like she lives in a nice building and stuff like that, right?
No, she bought an apartment back when, like, five or six years ago.
And, you know, she's like me.
She likes to have something and stay the same.
Sure.
And just keep improving outside and keep your insides kind of the same.
Okay.
And so she has a good apartment.
It's been great to stay with her.
And it's also because I live with Mike Vecchione, it's been great because his
girlfriend, Katie Hannigan...
Oh, there you go.
She moved in, yeah.
She, well, she's got her...
It's like, we've got, like, all these...
Yeah, you've got, like, nine properties between the four of you.
If we were a sleeper cell, he would be like, oh, they have all these stash
houses.
They're like rats.
Yeah, they just fucking...
Katie can move back to her place and then Dan can move back to Queens and then
Katie's back
herself and then Mike and Dan...
It's shifting.
You came in like a sleeper cell.
He's got two duffel bags.
Yeah, by the way, he's rolling around with a duffel bag from 1992.
I just want to say shout out real quick.
I just have a doctor's company where my mom was a claims adjuster for several
years.
That thing's real shift, yeah.
Until that bitch Helen pushed her out and then because of ageism, my mom couldn't
get
another job and then she became a nanny for people that were my age.
And that is...
If you want to know what is insulting to your mother is when she has to take
care of kids
that aren't yours, but the parents of the same age.
Yeah, it's a tough look.
Meanwhile, she's leaving.
You're at home like making frozen pizzas and shit and she's watching kids your
age.
She comes back and she's like, how was your day home?
I'm like, I smoked to eat.
I went to Joel's.
Parents are on vacation.
I go, whatever, whatever, you're...
Yeah, dude, when I was like...
That was the hardest was when I was dead broke and my mom was a nanny for
another family.
Drives you crazy?
Made me feel like shit because my mom's a super smart lady and she had this job
in insurance
for years, but then she turned 60, 61.
And they're like, why are we going to pay you 80K where we can pay this kid out
of college?
32 or something.
And that's exactly what happened.
No lawsuit?
She didn't make a move?
Fuck yeah.
My mom litigates like a motherfucker.
Yeah, there we go.
You're talking about a woman that made me stand in court when I was six years
old and tell
a judge I wanted to live with her.
That's a lady that gets shit done.
Tell the nice judge what we talked about, Daniel.
Three-piece suits?
Almost exactly.
She brought me into my itchy church pants and made me look that judge right in
the eye and
go, I want to live with her, not the guy that didn't show.
Do I want to live with this finicky bitch?
Or the no-show?
Just witness intimidation on her own son?
Dude, my mom-
She's in the back.
There's like three Colombians like this.
Dude, she's like, you remember that Lion-O toy I bought you, right?
It'd be a real shame if it was on the garage floor when I backed out tomorrow.
She's got one of your cousins sitting in the fucking back like a godfather, too.
Yeah, she goes, you want to sleep over at Luke's ever again?
You've got to play ball, Danny.
You can just play this the right way.
My dad's family's like, we didn't even know that kid was alive.
We didn't even know he existed.
They're like, Dan, who?
What's going on?
Wait, he has a kid that lives in LA.
There's another one in Colorado.
They're kind of all over the place.
Your dad had that?
You have a stepbrother somewhere?
No, no, no.
I had a half-sister.
My dad married his high school sweetheart, and then they had a baby.
This is after your mom?
No, it's way before.
Oh, really?
It'd be weird if he married his high school sweetheart when he was like 40.
Yeah, he's like, I'm coming back, baby.
Let's run this back.
Could have been a hot night at the reunion.
I don't know.
I don't know, dude.
Maybe my dad had some dance moves.
He could drink like a son of a bitch.
I know that for sure.
But he had my sister Michelle with his high school sweetheart, and then they
divorced when Michelle
was like four.
And then I was born when Michelle was 12.
She's 12 years older than me.
And then she died when I was 16.
Jesus.
Yeah, dude.
I think we might have talked about that.
Man, you worried about not having any garbage to come in with.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I had like a four-year hit the way I had a five-year run of garbage the
way Eddie
Murphy had a five-year run in the 80s.
Yes, yeah.
Like my dad died was like coming to America, and then like trading places was
my sister dying.
The whole time I was being verbally abused by a rancid alcoholic boyfriend.
So that was SNL the whole time.
So, I mean, it's weird that my garbage career lines up with Eddie Murphy's run
in the 80s.
Yeah.
Instead of Prince Hakeem, I was called, hey, retard.
Soder hasn't done anything good since the 90s.
Yeah.
Then I got caught with that tranny.
Things just got weird.
I did a lot of kids' films.
I'm just giving her a ride.
I don't know what's going on.
Yo, man, I loved him in Dolomite.
I watched Dolomite.
Great.
I've never seen.
Loved it.
Thought it started slow, but loved where it ended.
And I'm very excited because the director of Dolomite did Coming to America 2,
which is coming
out in a couple months.
Right, right, right.
And shout out to fucking Jermaine Fowler.
Yes, sir.
Yeah.
For playing the Prince of Zamunda.
That's wild.
How fucking cool is that?
We don't know him, but we always talk about him, about what a cool dude he is.
Jermaine Fowler is one of my favorite human beings in comedy.
I met him when he moved to New York.
I think he was like 18 or 19.
I called him Rampage Jackson Head while we were playing basketball, and he
immediately
got mean.
And then I learned that you do not fuck with Jermaine Fowler.
He will troll you better than anyone.
Jermaine Fowler is one of the funniest trolls of all time.
You guys were down in Philly, but when we were all kind of like early, you know,
like
2010, 2011, Kevin Barnett, the late, great Kevin Barnett, had his mom's name is
Claudette
Barnett, and Jermaine made a Facebook profile called Claudette Barnett, and
they would just
like comment on shit, but like super Jamaican, because Kevin's family's from
Jamaica.
And like Kevin was like, hey man, you can't be doing that shit.
It's Jermaine's best friend, and he's like, man, you can't be doing that shit.
Jermaine makes me laugh on, he created a Facebook profile called, instead of
Michael Che, it
was Michael Gay.
That was him?
Yeah.
Oh, dude, my buddies were like, my buddies who were not even in comedy sent me
that.
They're like, dude, who made Michael Gay?
I'm like, I've never even seen that, but that's a home run.
And he would do, it would just be, he would make a braggadocious comment, and
then say
something really gay at the end, where he'd be like, yo man, I'm the best
comedian
ever, I don't want to suck all the weenies.
And they're like, what are you doing?
What are you doing?
But then Jermaine goes and has like, he's got a lot of commercial success, but
then he's
still, me, him, and Che are on a wrestling text thread.
And he's just like, yo man, Jim Cornette's crazy.
And you're like, I fucking love Jermaine.
Jermaine's a phenomenal dude, but yeah, best troll out there.
That's right, hearing you talk about the wrestling before we came on, you are
into it.
Yeah, I'm a wrestling nerd.
Was that your, was that like the thing that you would like turn to when you
were a kid
to like block everything out?
100%, man.
Like it's, when you're sleeping on a pullout bed, pullout couch bed with your
naked alcoholic
father, you kind of get amped for an afternoon viewing of SummerSlam.
What, you never seen a real one, Dan?
No, dude, my dad was li