Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Tom Cassidy - Philly Kid
Uploaded: 2021-01-18T03:07:31.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Tom Cassidy - Philly Kid' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Tom Cassidy - Philly Kid' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-18. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Tom Cassidy - Philly Kid

Hey, what's up guys? Thanks for tuning in to Are You Garbage?
Please make sure you go subscribe to the YouTube channel, that way you get the
videos as they come out.
Yeah, do it.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
It's a show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out if
they grow classy or if they're absolute trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day down here in Tootie's
basement.
Ran upstairs to grab a snack, caught Aunt Tootie in her nightgown, and I gotta
say, the Pilates are working, girl.
So, fucking keep it up.
Tight little body on Tootie.
Woo! Keister on Tootie.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
CEO, COO, fucking J-O-O, whatever that is.
He does it all.
So, if you're an investigatory body for the federal government or...
It starts with three letters.
Keep it fucking moving.
Or if you're an asset for the state of Ukraine, Kevin is the one you want to
talk to.
Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
Hey, what's up, everybody?
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
Yeah.
Those numbers are true to fucking roof.
True to roof there.
Kids are cooking on YouTube.
Oh, yeah.
And then also, patreon.com slash rugarbage.
Guys, we're almost at our third goal of 600 patrons.
The support has been fucking fantastic.
This is a fucking bootstrapped organization here.
It's a three-man team, and we're doing it all.
The support of you guys really makes it fucking happen.
We appreciate it so much.
You can go there.
You can get bonus content.
You can get bonus episodes of Are You Garbage every week.
You can get episodes of Hard Feelings every week, which is just me and Foley
fucking shitting on each other a little bit behind the curtain.
And then at the end of every month, we do a live stream with our top-tier
members.
You get to ask us questions.
We ask you questions.
It's a good fucking time.
Get involved, baby.
Yeah.
That is it.
Next one's coming up, right?
Next week, I think.
Excited.
Can't wait.
Shout out to our producer extraordinaire, the magic man.
He puts it all together.
T-Bone, Toby McMullen, everybody.
Hey, what up there, fellas?
Hey, T-Bone.
And gang, we could not be more excited to have our incredibly special guest
here with us today.
He's a great fucking pal of ours.
He's a very funny stand-up comedian, writer, director, producer, and podcaster.
Okay.
He's a writer for mostly for millennials.
He's been a writer for the F-Spot with Derek Beckles.
He was the writer and producer for Danny's House on, what was that, on Vice, I
believe?
On Vice TV.
Yeah.
Pretty awesome.
He has an album out right now called Funnymatic.
It's available everywhere.
And he's also the new host of the brand new podcast, Top 9.
But the big question in everybody's mind today, is he garbage?
And if there was an episode where I recommend going to get a box of tissues,
because wait
can you hear this tale of woe?
Oh my lord.
Dang, do me a favor.
Give me a nice big round of applause for my good pal, our good pal, Tom Cassidy,
everybody.
Hey, Tom.
Hey.
Oh my lord.
It's so good to be here with two of my oldest friends in comedy.
Happy to have you.
I was stumbling on the intro.
Here in the basement.
Yeah.
Here in Aunt Tootie's.
Aunt Tootie took care of me.
I'm not nervous anymore.
Gave me a little massage.
Yeah.
Aunt Tootie's would be a place where you would move into while your parents are
working things
out.
Tootie's always got a brown couch for you.
Sleeping out on the sun porch.
Smells like Bernie's.
Tommy, thank you so much for coming in and sitting down with us.
Oh my lord.
Thank you for having me.
We want to hear the whole story, the origin story.
Obviously, we have bits and pieces.
We've been friends a long time.
Go back since Moses wore short pants.
That's right.
Shout out to Uncle Junior.
But what's the complete tale?
You're a Roxborough kid.
I know that.
Roxborough trash.
Let's get it out in the open.
I'm from an affluent neighborhood.
It's the fucking end of the tracks, okay?
Fucking dead end.
One way in, one way out, Roxborough.
In northwestern Philadelphia.
The only neighborhood with a public bathroom.
And no park.
What the fuck?
We got Gorgas Park.
What are you kidding me?
That sounds beautiful.
We got a nice monument.
Gorgas Park.
For the fallen soldiers.
Sounds like it got exposed to radiation.
They got to put the asbestos somewhere, huh?
That was very Rodney of you.
Somewhere, huh?
It's going to be a fun one.
I literally said, hey, let's have Tommy in this week and shit on him for an
hour.
Man, a new podcast on.
Come on.
Give it to me, baby.
He brought the costume for it.
I know.
Thanks.
Shout out to Gumby for the onesie.
I thought this was a good beef and beer outfit.
You look like a superhero that's half dressed right now.
You look like a gay bazooka Joe.
I got all black on them.
Man, look at him.
You look great.
Tommy C.
Oh, it's so good to, you know, just mix it up with the boys.
We appreciate you coming in.
I think we did do a Patreon episode with you early on, probably about a while
ago.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we do know some of the back story.
What you bitched about.
Of Tommy.
What?
That he was a patron.
That was also when we had like four people on the Patreon.
In the big leagues now, baby.
Hey, Tommy.
Thank you for wearing your fancy denim, by the way.
As opposed to your white denim jacket that you have.
Thank God it's not after Memorial Day yet.
Tommy called me up after the Roan episode and was breaking my balls because I
was very,
I distanced myself from the show that we were on with Roan.
Oh, I remember, yeah, I heard it.
No, he was like, oh, yeah, we all did a show together that Tom ran.
Me and Foley ran that show.
Oh, he's on the flyer.
Yeah, his fat face is on the flyer.
And a life beater, if I recall.
I think I called you Tim Cassidy, too.
Shout out to Tom Kinney, all right?
Hey, what was that kid's name?
That's a good kid.
Anyway.
All right.
So, Roxborough Kid.
I have roots to Roxborough as well.
You know some of my family members.
Played Little League Baseball with Stevie Ryan.
Yeah, shout out to the Roan.
Went to the movies with him.
He got a hand job, too.
I think we went to see Nutty Professor.
I think it was one, maybe two.
You remember that?
I definitely went to the movies with Kevin's cousin, Steve Ryan.
My whole time.
Multiple times or just once.
Say it again?
Multiple times or just once.
I only recall the one time.
My dad's whole family is from Roxborough, and a lot of them still live there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But, yeah, Indians baseball.
So, we were on the same team.
21st Award.
21st and Ward?
21st Award is the district of where I am from, specifically.
Sounds like it's in Katrina.
Wait.
Yeah.
What?
What do you?
Wait.
There's, like, different districts in Philadelphia.
So, the 21st Award, it was, like, a baseball league.
21st Award?
The word is a ward, like an award?
Or a ward, like a ward.
You lived in the 21st Ward.
To be honest with you, you know that you're asking me.
I'm not really sure.
Either way, you're fucking trash.
I just struck out.
That's all I know.
21st Ward, perhaps?
Who tells people what district they lived in?
I'm going to throw up.
Hey, man.
I'm just trying to be real specific.
You asked me some questions.
Over there in Stevens District?
I live over there?
Well, the neighborhood was, like, different parts of the neighborhood,
different, like, baseball teams.
Like, I was on the Indians.
Like, Manny Unc was, like, the Tigers.
And Dora was, like, the Orioles.
So, it was, like, all different.
Panthers was Little Africa.
There was a neighborhood in my...
I knew you were going to go racist at some point with that.
No, there was a neighborhood, like, in my neighborhood called Little Africa.
And I think it was just because, like, black people lived on the street.
It was only a cultural...
Five of them, probably.
Center.
No.
No, they came out with the name of the VFW.
After a bunch of warm Michelob Ultras.
So, go ahead.
Well, you know, I went, like I said, to a private school all of my life.
Holy family from first through eighth grade.
Archbishop John Carroll, ninth through twelfth.
It's a Catholic school.
You heard of that place?
Yeah, yeah.
Mainline's got a little bit of cage.
Buddy, stop trying to sell it like you were fucking drinking mint chulips.
Well, you know, I'm a fan of the show.
Everybody kind of, like, tries to push their garbage.
I am garbage, so I'm trying to push my class.
You know what I mean?
Lead with Catholic school in Philadelphia.
I don't really take you to the top.
And your racist Little League team.
You got to look through the peephole ever so slightly to get to that.
Wait, your school wasn't in Philadelphia proper?
It was out on the main line?
That's where you went every day?
In high school, I went.
It was in Radnor.
It was in Radnor?
I didn't know that.
That's a pretty nice area for folks that don't know.
Did you have to do, like, you get the...
Did you take public transportation or did they send the bus to get you?
No, we had a yellow bus, baby.
Really?
But they would probably pick you up super early, right?
Pretty early.
I remember.
What time?
7.30.
Oh, that's so late, yeah.
I suppose I was starting at 9.
What are you, fucking Wall Street traders?
Gotta get in for the bell.
Get some tips.
Jeez.
But, yeah, man, Catholic school.
I was just calling it private school to try to sound classy.
We got it.
I picked up on it.
All right.
And then the house that your family lives in now, is that the house you grew up
in?
Because I've been to the outside of that.
I picked you up there, I think.
I've been inside.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Were you casing the joint?
My parents were down Wildwood?
He was sneaking through the back window.
Caught me on the ring phone.
I hear the Cassies are down the shore in Wildwood.
Let me slide through and steal some meatloaf.
One thing that struck me as odd, if I could just say, of when I was in Cassie,
there was
a China cabinet in the living room.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Still there.
I sold to China.
Yeah.
No, so-
It's got laundry in it?
I grew up in the house that my mom grew up in.
Oh, wow.
Is that the house that you're in now?
I mean, I don't live there.
You know what I mean.
But they're still in there.
That's the house.
Yeah.
Wow.
They live there.
And they also have a summer home in North Wildwood.
Which is also owned by Ankle C.
Also a very nice-
Which house?
I've been to that one a handful of times.
Yes.
And also, I would throw you under the bus.
Last time I was there, I went inside to use the bathroom, and there was a flat
screen TV
leaning against the dining room table.
Probably getting some work done in the house.
I don't know.
I don't want to call it that.
It's got rabbit ears on it.
Nothing on that?
That should have gotten a lot better.
By my calculations.
Wait, hold on.
Go back to this thing.
You grew up in the house that your mom grew up in.
Correct.
So at a certain point, your grandmother, either your parents shipped her off to
a home or something like that.
How did your mom get the house?
Yeah.
Okay, so my mother's mother died when she was young.
Okay?
Which is something that she talks about probably every conversation.
You know my mother passed.
She sneaks it in there.
When Ma passed.
By the way, she's thinking about being a Patreon.
Oh, well, let's-
All right, hold on.
Let's put a pin in that.
I want to bring this up because Jeannie, shout out to fucking Jeannie.
For the record, we are very close with Tom and his family.
We know his parents very well.
I thought we were very close.
Wait a minute, what?
I thought she fucking hugs and kisses me when I see her.
How these Irish 