Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Joe List - Boston Kid
Uploaded: 2021-01-21T12:42:57.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Joe List - Boston Kid' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Joe List - Boston Kid' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-21. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Joe List - Boston Kid

Hey, what's up guys? Thanks for tuning in to Are You Garbage?
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Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
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or absolute trash.
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What up?
Oh, my God.
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First foul ball of the show right there, T-Bone.
And, gang, we could not be more excited to have our incredibly special guest
back with
us today.
This is a family episode.
We got a little bit of company in the house.
We got a heavy hitter here, a little star power down here in this company.
If you haven't seen his episode, go back and check it out.
You know this gentleman very well.
He has a special out right now called I Hate Myself.
He has an amazing new podcast called Mindful Metal Jacket.
And, of course, he is one half of Tuesdays with Stories.
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the one, the only.
Mr. Joe List.
Thank you very much.
Joey.
Unbelievable intro.
Everything was great.
The hot mic was horrendous.
But-
And don't you find-
I feel like trained to clap now when someone does an intro.
I'm like, oh, shit.
I don't want to-
And it's not because I'm like, I want them to hear it.
I'm because I don't want to be the asshole not clapping.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I do it when I get called on stage sometimes.
I'm like, oh, for me.
You know what I mean?
It's just in your head.
It's a call and response.
What do you think about the snap, people's snap when they snap?
I hate the snap.
It makes me want to-
I hate it.
It makes me want to kill somebody.
I was backstage with a famous comic one time, a woman.
And I'm not going to say who, but we were talking.
And she never heard of me.
And she was like, how long have you been doing it?
Which I just start to steam because I'm like, twice as long as you.
And I said, I was like, I don't know, like 19 years.
And her response was, and to this moment, as I think about it, I just hate it.
I hate her.
I hate myself.
I want to shoot her.
It's so degrading.
It's like, you don't deserve a full applause.
I'll do this.
Yeah, it's just awful.
And it's very poetry-ish or whatever.
What do you call that?
Yeah, slam poetry.
Slam poetry, yeah.
I went to the store and then I.
I wanted to say real quick, though.
My friend Dave Walsh is a wonderful comedian from Boston.
He talked about the clapping thing and being trained.
He said one time he was waiting for the subway in Boston.
And the train arrived and he started clapping for a second.
And he's like, it's a real moment.
He's like, I'm not even kidding.
It really happened for a second.
He's like, that was, I'm going to too many comedies.
You brought this up.
What about clapping when the plane lands?
Is that trashy?
I think that's awful also.
It's insane.
I think maybe if you had just wild turbulence.
If it was touch and go, I'll allow a round of applause.
And you're taking enemy fire and fucking, you know, I guess maybe.
But no, that's garbage for sure.
Another big one is the movies.
Clapping at the end of a movie.
Yeah, I also find that gross and appalling.
Except there's special occasions on that.
I mean, if you're at like fucking Sundance or something, sure.
But you're not doing it at the AMC on 42nd.
I think I did it at the end of the Avengers, the first Avengers.
We all did.
We all loved it.
It was great.
That's tough.
Yeah, that stinks.
All right.
You know what?
We're not going to the movies together.
I'll tell you that.
When I saw, what was, we were just talking about Nick Cage movies.
What was, no, he was in the fire, the run up the building movie.
What was the 9-11, United 93.
Yeah, United 93.
That played in the theater, and I was living in Boston at the time, and it was
packed.
And as soon as it ended, it said, like, dedicated to the lives.
And it, you know, the plane is crashing, and it goes blank.
And I turned to my friend Tom, and I said, I smell a sequel.
And he bursted out laughing.
So, like, right as the movie ends, this guy, and no one hears my line.
They just hear this guy howling, laughing.
And people were really upset with him.
I thought you were going to say that everybody clapped at the end of that.
I was like, that doesn't seem like a clapper at the end of that one.
No, I'm trying to think if I've ever been in a movie where people clapped.
That blew you away like that.
Black Panther, everybody freaked out.
Everybody clapped at that one.
Yeah, that movie stinks, too.
I haven't seen it.
I haven't either, actually.
My favorite, though, is we went to see Ninja Turtles one time.
There was, like, 90 of us.
It was, like, you know, Dante and Keith Robinson and Derek and Monroe and
everybody.
We went to a midnight showing, and the movie sucked.
And, like, midway through, Keith, it's the best delivered line ever.
It's dead quiet.
He goes, man, fuck these turtles, and stands up, and he walks out.
Dude, the whole place erupted.
It was fantastic.
Oh, I miss Keith.
Buddy, thank you so much for sitting down with us.
Did you say resting?
Yeah.
Wait, why?
What?
No, he passed away a couple weeks ago.
No, he didn't.
Keith Robinson is dead.
Yeah.
It was at a movie.
Everybody applauded.
No, I'm kidding.
Everybody's snapping at the funeral.
He was a cool jack.
The Shy Lights played.
It was pretty good.
Joe, thank you so much for sitting down with us.
We're going to pull up some questions from the fans that they wanted to ask you.
Ask us.
How have you been?
Everything's been good?
I've been pretty.
Everything's perfect.
Sometimes you turn into Regis.
He hits daytime talk show real quick.
So I hear you got a new book out.
Is that true?
I wrote a new book.
No, everything's pretty good.
I'm nervous with the questions because if they're asked specifically for me, I
feel like they're
going to be hurtful.
No, no.
Why is he cock so small?
Yeah, yeah.
Why does his teeth still look like that?
He has money, herpes, something.
No, no, no.
It's not that.
We're more general, for sure.
I'm not going to bring you on to sandbag.
I hear your mother's a holler, Joe.
I wanted to ask you because we were talking about this before we went on air.
We had Sarah told them, Arshan, your wife.
Yes.
And we were talking about how that was one of the heart story that she told
about making
ricotta cheese out of sour milk at her house.
It's insane.
One of the best clips that we had.
And we were talking to her when she was on.
And she had mentioned when we were talking about the food that she makes, she
said that
you don't eat any of her food.
And then you reiterated that before we went on air.
Yeah, that's right.
How do you wrap my head around that?
I don't get it.
Okay.
Well, a couple of things.
First of all, it's not like I'm like, fuck you, you douche.
I'm not eating your food.
She's a very talented cook and a very talented person.
But I'm garbage.
So I eat four things.
I eat cheeseburgers, hot dogs, pizza, chicken parm.
Love it.
I'm running low.
I'm running low.
Grilled cheese, cereal, chipotle.
These are honest.
This is what you eat.
Yeah.
I just named 100% of the things I eat.
I'm not that far off of that, to be honest with you.
Maybe a salad every now and then.
How do you keep that tight little body?
I do the same thing and I'm fucking 400 pounds.
Well, I don't eat a lot of it.
I have it once a day.
Portion control, big man.
Yeah.
I run around.
I do have a great metabolism.
And yeah, I don't know.
I'm running around a lot, I guess.
I work out.
But mostly it's the metabolism.
And I'm pretty doughy underneath at times.
But so I just eat the same.
Have you had Donnelly on, by the way?
Sean Donnelly.
Donnelly's our first episode ever.
We got to have him back.
Okay, because he's the only guy that has a worse diet than me.
Yeah, he has a very middle class Irish diet.
Yeah, that's what I got.
Like, we went to Chipotle.
His first Chipotle trip was with me.
That's crazy.
And he ordered chicken in a...
It was just grilled chicken in a little fucking bowl.
In a tin pan.
Yeah.
In the tin pan.
And I think that's all he had.
But anyways, so normally she's cooking something like keto and veggies and the
business.
It's a bunch of shit together.
Like good shit or whatever.
But I already ordered a chicken parm.
Yeah.
Or I'm eating a pizza.
Do you guys eat together, but separate meals?
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Like, will you sit down with the chicken parm and she'll sit down with like,
you know, a quinoa bowl or something?
Occasionally.
You'll get away with that?
That's crazy.
I do that a lot.
Me and my wife do that.
Yeah.
Well, she doesn't...
She's on a strict diet.
So it's, I'm, you know, I just eat whatever.
And then she's got to wait until the delivery guy gets here and then you're
eating out of a to-go container.
No, we don't care.
We don't have to eat together.
Well, first of all, it's pandemic.
We're spending every second together.
That's true.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what's so funny to me about pandemic is everyone's like the isolation.
I'm like, I was way more isolated before because I was on the road by myself
all the time.
Now I'm with a person 100% of the time.
So we'll eat together sometimes.
Sometimes we'll get takeout together.
Chinese food, maybe.
But, oh, geez.
Sorry, that was me.
That's her.
She's like...
Quit running your mouth, Joey.
But also sometimes I'll eat something that she makes if it's, you know, pizza.
Where does that come from?
Was that...
We talked about this, I think, a little bit on your episode.
It's my family.
And this is what bothers me about my family.
When I was a kid, I have all these memories of them shaming me because I would
only eat hot dogs with no...
I was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and buttered noodles.
Are you a plain hot dog guy?
I eat ketchup on a hot dog.
So they'd be like, you got to eat more than that.
He, this fucking idiot, never eats anything.
And now I'm an adult and I eat fish and shit now.
I'll eat some stuff.
An aristocrat.
I like the sticks.
I go back and they eat nothing.
Like, they're like, whoa, you eat crazy now.
Something changed in 