Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Luis J. Gomez Returns!
Uploaded: 2021-02-08T03:21:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Luis J. Gomez Returns!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Luis J. Gomez Returns!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-08. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Luis J. Gomez Returns!

Hey gang, welcome to the Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast.
Make sure you subscribe so you get the videos as they come out.
Yeah.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, hey, hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new
podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
It's a show we sit down with your favorite comedians and find out if they grew
up classy or if they're absolute trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day down here in Antony's
basement.
She's doing okay.
Nothing to report today.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He cooks the books, keeps the feds off our back, keeps the snow off our heads.
Do me a favor.
Give me a nice big round of applause for Kippy, Kevin James Ryan.
Hey, gang.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube and then patreon.com slash are you garbage.
You get bonus content, bonus episodes of AYG, episodes of Hard Feelings.
And every month we'll do a live stream with the top tier members where we play
AYG with you guys.
You ask us questions.
We ask you questions.
Good fucking time.
Get involved, baby.
Yes, sir.
And having a nice big shout out to our producer extraordinaire, the pride of
the Chicago comedy scene, our good pal.
We know him as T-Bone.
Yeah.
But his mom named him.
What?
Toby Cornelius McMullin.
What's up?
If my mom named me Cornelius, I'd fucking kill myself.
Toby McMuffin over there.
Toby McMuffin.
Toby McMuffin's the T-Bone McMuffin.
That's the new one right there.
That's it right there.
Well, I had brass knuckles out ready to defend the brand.
Now I'm putting them away.
I'm going to lose this side.
Gang, we could not be more excited to have our incredibly, incredibly,
incredibly special guest back with us here today.
That's right, gang.
We got a little company.
It's a family episode.
And this guy is as thick as thieves as it possibly can get.
If you haven't seen this episode, please go back.
You're acting like you fucked my sister.
I mean, he's laying it on thick.
It's just what he does.
I'm trying to tiptoe into it a little bit.
I'll be seeing you at Thanksgiving.
The name of this one's Burying the Hatchet.
Gang, he is the co-host of Legion of Skanks.
He is the host of Real Ass Podcast, the co-host of Believe You Me.
All right.
He is the co-founder of the Gas Digital Network.
Don't forget my fourth podcast.
Yeah.
Gomez talking Seinfeld.
Gomez talking Seinfeld.
That's right.
Watching Seinfeld.
There we go.
Very good.
And of course, he is the founder of Skank Fest and Skank Fest South.
Do us a favor.
Give us a nice big round of applause for the suburbanite, Louis J. Gomez,
everybody.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm very happy to be back.
Shake your rattles, everybody, at home.
Thank God.
I'm not garbage.
It's not a question if I'm garbage.
It's really just what level of garbage am I at this point.
We know.
Yeah.
We know.
You're trash.
I think you were one of the earlier episodes that we did, and I think you were
like, yeah,
I'm not garbage.
I think there was part of you that was like, I'm not garbage.
Well, it was.
I mean, I think that I've.
Well, it depends on.
Are you currently garbage, or can you jump out of the garbage class from
garbage to being
classy?
Sure.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
You're on your way.
You're on your way, but you can only get so far.
There's only so much money.
You've reached the height.
You're still going to be trashy.
Well, the vengeance vendettas really hold you back a little bit.
You're not going to get the stink off of you.
That's exactly.
Like, James will do way better than you.
Like, James will be way classier.
Guaranteed.
Because, yeah, he's growing up with a little bit of cash.
College, nice job in the suburbs, which is pretty nice.
Yeah, it's not a bad life.
We talked about that.
We loved that.
Your episode was really, really endeared me to you.
And it was, I saw it as not a victim of circumstance, but, like, when you told
that race car story,
it made me, it made me so sad that, like, people were just shitty to you just
for the fact of it.
Remember when you and your friends.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
When I was like, which race car story?
I was like, can I make up a story?
I have no idea what either one of you were talking about.
But you were riding when you were driving for a NASCAR.
Little stock cars where we got blamed for it.
Remember when they got blamed for stealing them?
Yeah.
Kind of.
Because I have another, I thought there was another piece of Louis Shea Gomez's
trash history
as well, which involved, you remember in Boy Scouts, you had to make.
The cars.
We just talked about these last episode.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The derby cars or the.
Yeah, and it was just essentially a hunk of wood.
Pinewood Derby or whatever.
Pinewood Derby.
It's a hunk of wood.
So you were in the Boy Scouts?
I was in the Boy Scouts.
He was raping everybody.
My Boy Scout leaders was two moms.
It was my mom, who was a heroin addict, and then Dan Doherty's mom, who was
like a religious
nutjob.
Somebody stole all the badges and melted them down.
And they didn't like each other.
Our Boy Scout leaders were two chicks.
They didn't like each other.
We had this little weird fucking, it was like out of a movie.
It was like all the kids in our Boy Scout trip were gummo.
Every one of us, we were just fucking different shapes and all weird.
We were being directed by Harmony Corrine.
Dude.
Yeah, dude.
And fucking.
That's like a bad movie from the 90s.
Yeah.
You know.
Like a religious zealot and a heroin addict get together to do the Boy Scouts.
What the fuck?
But that's the kind of shit that endears me to you.
It's like you would think that you were like this tough, rough and tumble kid,
but you
did like that stuff.
You wanted that stuff.
Yeah, you're a sweetheart.
You wanted a normal.
You're kind of a nerd.
Well, yeah.
In a little bit of a way.
You know what it is?
I always appreciated being different.
So whatever it was that like the kids in my neighborhood weren't doing or the
kids in school
weren't doing.
Like I joined the drama society in high school, not because I like to sing and
dance.
But you do though.
But I do.
You flex at any chance you get.
I learned that I did.
But when I made the decision to do it, it was just because it was weird for me
to do it.
You know?
So you messed her in a house.
The Pinewood Derby, you'd have to essentially carve this block of wood into a
cool race car.
Yeah, and there was like regulations, like size and the wheels you could use
and stuff
like that.
You know, but you know, dads were helping these kids out make these Pinewood
Derby cars.
So they were super cool, dude.
Your mom made a crack pipe out of it.
Dude, they had fucking, I don't even know how these dads did it.
I have no idea how they did some of the things they did with these cars.
But my mind was fucking blown.
One kid in an Acura and a hot meal.
It was crazy.
And mine, we didn't even carve it down.
We just took the piece out of the, she was like painted.
Just a log?
It was a fucking block.
It was a hunk of wood.
We threw the wheels on it.
I painted it.
It was a Lincoln log?
I would love to get a fucking photo of what that car looked like.
I had it for years.
It was called Skull Crusher.
It's because my mom used to hit me in the head with it.
She just made a shiv.
Dude, I painted it yellow and black.
And I painted a little skull on it.
I painted a Skull Crusher on the side.
And this thing fucking sucked.
This was, it was so bad.
Every kid had a cool fucking looking car.
And here came my piece of shit car.
And I remember they gave me a trophy.
It was so sad because even I'm like eight and I remember bigger.
I know.
This is bullshit.
I know because it was the most imaginative trophy.
The poor bastard award.
The imagine he had a father trophy.
And I remember being like, oh, this is a fucking pity trophy.
Wow.
All my trophies that I've ever earned in my entire life have been pity trophies.
Jesus Christ.
But if you would have applied yourself, you could have been an athlete.
Right?
I feel like you're very uncoordinated.
I mean, you're athletic.
He's not athletic.
I'm not coordinated.
You're fighting.
What do you mean?
Don't say that.
I've sort of figured out how to like throw a punch and not be punched.
Sort of.
But not very well.
Not compared to people that are athletic.
I'm confident you want going into a fight.
That's what he learned in the Boy Scouts.
Well, I just feel like people that really know how to fight, it'd be ridiculous
because
I know people that really know how to fight.
Sure, of course.
So it would be ridiculous for me to be like, oh, I'm good at it when I know
exactly how
bad I am because I'm better than the average person.
If you haven't trained in martial arts, I could probably do pretty well against
most people.
Right?
But anybody who's trained that's a little bit athletic, they're going to
probably kick my ass.
I'm not very good.
Oh, man.
That is a fucking story and a half.
Yeah.
That's so funny.
You did all that stuff.
The Boy Scouts.
What else did you do that we wouldn't know?
That people wouldn't think.
If you would have...
I mean, Boy Scouts drama called...
Nobody...
I would have never...
First of all, and you paint this picture of your mom, that's pretty good that
she was
a Boy Scout leader for a little while.
She was hanging...
She was trying.
She was trying.
It's more than my family did.
She was trying.
Well, but she...
I mean, it was such a deficit.
My dad had been murdered a couple years before that.
It's all rainbows with this guy.
And my mom was a heroin addict and like...
So she was like...
When she tried, she really tried.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She taught you how to tie a knot and cook a spoon?
Yeah.
Sell some Thin Mints.
He'll be all right.
That's the Girl Scouts.
But there was a few...
Yeah, there was a few years when my mom actually tried.
It's not like she didn't...
She tried to do some of the good mom things.
She was still extremely abusive and fucking crazy and violent and, you know,
threatening
and all that other stuff, but...
How was she with the other kids in the Boy Scouts?
Do you remember?
She was the cooler mom because Dan Doherty's mom was like a fat Christian bitch.
So nobody...
Dude, you want to go to church?
You want to hang out at Crack House?
Yeah, dude.
That name, Dan Doherty.
Easy choice any day of the week.
Well, I remember, you know, there was one thing where we had to like put
together like...
It could be whatever.
It was just whatever.
It was a big project we all had to be involved with.
And like one troop was putting together the biggest gingerbread house possible.
And the next troop was making like this wood log cabin fucking thing.
And this bitch, she...
I mean, she had like fucking corn husk leaves that she was like laying over
sticks.
And we were making little miniature Indian huts.
And all we got to do was take a little piece of glue and put it there.
And she was like, all right, next, move on.
And it was her project.
And I remember just being like, this fucking sucks.
This fucking blows.
Yeah, everybody's got sweet ass shit around you.
Everyone's got cool shit going on.
We have this fucking Indian hut.
It's going to be featured at Bear Mountain.
Bear Mountain.
Your mom's project was safe cracking.
Yeah, my mom.
Doing a second floor job.
I need a wheel man.
My mom was teaching us how to pickpocket people at the supermarket.
Good stuff.
Well, buddy, thank you for coming in and sitting with us.
We wanted to have you back.
We like to have the guests back.
A little family episode.
Have a little company.
As you folks know that when you sign up for Patreon,
you will get one of your questions asked on the air.
And we're going to do that absolutely right now.
Yeah.
I don't know why.