Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Funny Listener Questions!
Uploaded: 2021-02-11T02:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Funny Listener Questions!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Funny Listener Questions!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-11. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Funny Listener Questions!

Hey gang, welcome to the R.U. Garbage Comedy Podcast.
Make sure you subscribe so you get the videos as they come out.
Welcome to another exciting edition of R.U. Garbage,
the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there.
And welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
God damn it.
This is R.U. Garbage, the show we sit down with your favorite comedians
and we find out if they grew up classy or if they're just a big old piece of
shit.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a gorgeous day down here in Toadie's
basement.
She's upstairs right now crushing up and snorting her gout medication.
And I got to tell you, not a bad high.
All right, it's pretty good.
I want to give a quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire real quick,
switching it up a little bit.
He is the he's the magic man.
OK, and for a limited time right now, you can get him with a cup of coffee and
a hash brown.
Ladies and gentlemen, give it the fuck up for Toby T-Bone McMuffin.
Look at that.
Dude, your fucking mission in life is to ruin my internet reputation.
Yeah.
All my DMs are fucking horrific nicknames.
Buddy, the fucking dude.
Toby McMuffin ain't going anywhere.
It's T-Bone McMuffin.
And the T-shirt's going to be a T-shirt on top of a McMuffin.
I can already see it now.
Coming with a side of slaw.
Look at him over there.
Gang, it's a fucking family episode today.
No company.
We're circling the wagons right now.
It's just me, you, the boys, the whole fucking squad.
We're here together.
So let me introduce to you my co-host extraordinaire.
This gentleman drives a late model sedan, and I got to tell you, he looks the
part.
Yeah.
Just got back from a hot weekend at the spa out there in Kingston, PA.
That hot bed for fucking couples relaxation.
He's a Pocono kid.
Give it up for our good pal, Kippy, Kevin, James, Ryan.
Hey, gang.
Happy to be here.
Thanks for having me, big man.
I appreciate it.
Buddy, it's just you and me.
It's family time right now.
I know.
This is it, huh?
Yeah.
Happy, loving family.
You ever have that where you were supposed to go over to your friend's house or
something
like that, and his dad's like, you know, nah, it's just family tonight.
You ever get that?
Do that?
I think they just didn't want you rooting through the pantry, if you ask me.
Don't let that foley bozo come over.
He eats all the pretzel rods.
This kid goes through the roto.
What's up, everybody?
Thanks for listening.
Please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
Yes.
You know what?
Those numbers are true to fucking roof.
But they could be higher.
They could be higher.
We got contractors.
According to notes I got back from Foley this weekend.
What's going on with the YouTube number?
I don't want to see any sloth and growth.
You know what I mean?
Come on, gang.
And then, obviously, if you want bonus content, you can sign up at patreon.com.
Oh, yeah.
You can get bonus episodes of AYG every week.
You can get episodes of Hard Feelings, which if you're not familiar.
Hold on one second.
Hello, Hard Feelings.
We got them.
You want them.
Go.
Hard Feelings, baby.
Come on.
It's me.
Sign up.
It's a look behind the show.
It's me and Foley shitting on each other.
We do a little HR.
You know what I mean?
It's a good time.
People think we're nuts.
People are like, somebody just commented on the last episode, this is the most
passive
aggressive episode I've ever heard in my life.
We go at each other a lot.
That's right.
You know what I mean?
It's a struggle for power.
It's a struggle for power down here in the basement.
Yeah.
We're not like you see on TV, all right?
We're real people.
Those numbers are true to roof as well.
Not bad.
And then, I got something just came across the wire.
I can't believe this.
You've asked for it.
You've wanted it.
It's taken us a while to get this accomplished.
I'm so excited.
We had to jump through a couple of hoops.
There had to be a couple of payoffs.
A couple of senators had to resign.
We had to fucking get this going.
I had to fill out a fucking immigration customs paperwork for this stuff.
Yikes.
Federal Docs Kippy's got his name on.
But what do you got, Kippy?
The kid's got a full house right here.
Show him, Kippy.
Woo!
Look at that.
Toby, zoom in on that.
Do some fireworks.
Do a little something.
Act now while supplies last.
The Are You Garbage Home game is fucking ready to ship.
Yeah.
It's over 50 of some of the classics.
Boom.
First one I pulled.
Can you guess what it was?
Randomly.
Is this your card?
Uh-oh.
Do you drink milk with dinner?
Good night.
Come on.
Guys, the game is available.
Limited supplies is our first run of them.
You can go to rugarbage.bigcartel.com.
The link is right here.
Check it out.
There you go.
Flashing explosions.
Act now.
Limited supply.
Yep.
The Are You Garbage card game is out.
Go to fucking the website and get them and hook it up.
Yeah.
Give it to a friend.
Valentine's Day is coming up.
Throw the brood something nice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can play Strip Are You Garbage.
See how that works out.
Oh, that's a fucking great idea.
We can play that here in studio.
That could be a Patreon episode.
Got to look at that big old saziche on the McMuffin.
Get the McMuffin on camera, baby.
Let me see the old haul.
Toby, is that hot or sweet sausage?
I don't know.
But I want to find out.
The card game is here.
Card game is available.
Check it out.
Supplies last.
I'm telling you now this is going to sell out.
This isn't my fucking, you know.
This isn't.
Who's the guy that died?
Billy Ray?
No.
What's his name?
Billy Ray.
Who was the famous sales?
The Shamwell guy.
No.
Not the Shamwell.
Not the Shamwell.
Billy Zane.
Billy Zane.
No.
No, shit.
That's the actor.
Billy Zane.
That's the actor.
That's one of the bad guys in Back to the Future.
Billy Mays.
Billy Mays.
That's right.
I'm not trying to beat Billy Mays here, but there's a limited supply, and once
they're
there, they're gone.
We might do some more in the future, obviously, but-
If you have a leak in your boat, slap one of these babies on there.
Yeah.
For the infomercial, we should do something.
You got to do something to really move some fucking product.
Honestly, I know I get ahead of myself.
That was the only reason I wanted the cards is because I wanted to make the
commercial.
I saw it with a bunch of little kids playing cards, making fun of each other.
Who's got the budget for this?
Little kids playing cards.
I get you three kids here right now.
No, it's black and white, and it's fully drinking water with dinner all sad.
Yeah, it's spilling on them and stuff.
He can't plug a cord in or something.
Regular pack of cards, I don't know how to use them.
He's got two gallons of whole milk and a fucking thing of lasagna.
Ah, it's good stuff.
So happy.
Kippy, you're the best, man.
Thanks, buddy.
This is why this guy fucking runs the operation.
He's fucking steam charging ahead.
He's like Custer over here, but he wins.
Now.
Yeah.
We got some biz.
Sorry.
With work comes reward.
You work hard.
Yeah.
And he plays hard, too.
Sure.
All right.
Yeah.
Him and his highfalutin German wife.
So, all right.
Hold on.
You know.
Just got back.
Yeah.
Typically, you know.
So, I realize I am trash, and it was, so for the listener, I went to, it was my
one year
anniversary over the weekend, and I went to a very, a very nice spa.
In the Poconos.
Fully.
You wouldn't even be allowed on the property.
This place, this is the nicest place.
It was insane.
Crazy expensive.
It's the Poconos.
It's not.
That's what you, that's why people, that's how they keep people.
There's coal miners leaving a shift in front of the hotel.
That's how they keep people like you out.
You think it's the Poconos.
It's like Wakanda.
Hide in plain sight.
You know what I mean?
There you go.
So, it was a very expensive place, and so.
I heard the number.
It's high.
Yeah.
It's high.
You could go to Europe for two weeks for this price.
We need you to buy these cards now.
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
So, my wife wanted to do it, so we did it, and I got to tell you, so, you know,
you've
seen my, so, I pull up, and I don't know how nice this place is, but it's a valet.
I made fun of it in the intro.
It's a valet kind of place.
You don't have a valet kind of car.
I do not have a valet car.
You look like Ace Ventura.
Yeah.
You got any more gum?
It's a, I would have never, I would have rented a car for the weekend.
100%.
I was just going to say that.
I didn't know, so we pull up, it's this windy snow, and you pull up to, like,
the
first hut, you know what I mean?
Like, you're getting into, like, a gated community kind of, right?
And there's, like, the window, and there's the exit and the entrance.
Is there a guy up there?
There's a guy in the hut.
Really?
Mr. Ryan?
Mrs. Ryan?
He goes, hey, what's your name?
And I said, well, first he thought I was fucking casing the joint.
He thought I got lost or something.
Hey, who ordered pizza?
Dude.
Right then, I.
You lost, buddy?
Right then, I kind of knew something was up.
It's not going to be like you park in a parking lot and carry your own bags in
kind of place.
And, dude, my car is so shitty.
Dude, it's so shitty.
And it's so trash.
It's shittier than you would think.
Yeah.
And they're going to see it soon on the Patreon when we do the thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, dude, so he's like, yeah, just bend around and stay to the right.
I'm sorry, my car doesn't turn left.
I can only go left, dude.
You got a jug handle somewhere around here?
Jersey rules?
Oh, dude.
Man.
And my wife's just so excited because the place is picture-at.
Dude, it's like the winding line.
I'm surprised you, honestly, I'm surprised you've gotten this far with her.
She's a classy lady.
She's a classy woman.
Believe it or not, I met her.
She's a classy brawn.
She drives around with you.
Well.
You have a bench seat in the front, don't you?
It's bench seats.
It's not a bench.
First of all, it's a 2006 Mercury Montego 2005.
I think it was the last year they made them, so it's mint condition.
It's a collector's item.
It's a collector's item.
You know it's bad when they don't make your car anymore.
And not for a good reason.
That's real bad.
It's real bad.
He's like, yeah, just pull around to the right under the awning.
And I'm like, you don't park.
I'm like, this ain't good.
So I'm like, maybe he's going to do the, maybe he's going to do, you drop the
bags off, then
you park your own car.
But as I'm getting closer to the front entrance, I'm like, yo, this is bad.
This is fucking, I'm going to look like a fucking schmuck.
Dude, I got coffee.
Dude, I treat the backseat like a dumpster.
We just like launch fucking McDonald's bags over our shoulders.
That's why it's so great to have a car, man.
It's the best.
Dude, I have empty, I have parking tickets are everywhere.
Well, also, too, because we've been filming, so I'm like, I'm not going to
clean it because
we're going to film it.
I want to give an honest reputation.
So it's a little even trashier.
There's literal trash.
And I'm, I'm trashy as I don't use, I don't use my trunk because there's like
an air conditioner.
There's like a log in there.
There's a broom.
Wait, you have an air conditioner in your trunk?
Yeah.
Are you kidding me?
No.
Is that to keep weight for the snow?
Dude, that's, you have an air conditioner in your trunk?
It's a window unit.
Why don't you put it in the closet in the apartment?
Because when we moved, it was like the last thing.
I just left it in there.
Oh, my.
What?
It's a brand new unit.
You're my boss.
That, you have a, oh, my God.
That's dangerous.
Why?
Because if you have to hit the brakes, it could come through the back seat.
Dude, you are your mom.
Yo, Batty Foley, relax.
That could get you in the back of the skull, God damn it.
Oh, shout out to my mom and dad.
I was with them for a couple of days.
Oh, I know, because I get the residual anxi