Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Ian Fidance Returns - Ring & Run
Uploaded: 2021-06-03T03:18:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Ian Fidance Returns - Ring & Run' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Ian Fidance Returns - Ring & Run' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-03. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Ian Fidance Returns - Ring & Run

hey gang real quick before we get the old show started let's talk about these
live days we got
coming up it's the keep it moving 2021 tour and we're coming to a town near you
we're going to be
in atlantic city new jersey june 18th oh yeah and then we're going to be in
chicago for our fourth
and final show on june 22nd then we're heading over to indianapolis indiana at
the helium over
there on june 23rd get some tickets and then we're coming back thursday night
back to the windy city
for two sold out shows so if you heard a date on there that wasn't sold out buy
some tickets and
come see us it's gonna be a great time yeah guys the live show is awesome it's
stand up and then we
play ayg with the audience we answer your questions it's a good fucking time
get involved see you there
oh baby welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where
you find out if your
favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash now here are your
hosts kevin ryan and h foley
hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast
come on gang
this is are you garbage in the shop but keep going
where we sit down with your favorite comedians and find out if they grow up to
be classy or if
they're just a big old piece of trash oh yeah i'm your host h foley coming at
you on a beautiful day
down here at aunt toady's basement saw her in passing yeah on her way down the
shore got a short
house with her girlfriends for the summer the weekend what are we talking
summer so she's gone
all summer i asked her don't come no she's coming back and forth you want to
know why the mail and
stuff no i asked her how are you paying for this and she was like only fans oh
toady's on only
toady got an only fans i'm telling you right now her and her girlfriends pretty
risque stuff
i'm not gonna lie it's very tasteful though so watch out for that those other
who is
keeps it classy my co-host is coming at you from right next to me we got a
little company in the
building today he's the ceo of are you garbage international businessman checks
are bouncing my
best pal checks are bouncing all over the place this guy has checks bouncing in
multiple countries
wherever he goes they cut up my card at the bodega earlier tonight kevin james
ryan everybody hey gang
thanks for tuning in as always please make sure you rate review subscribe on itunes
uh full video
available on youtube and as you know those numbers are true to roof true to
fucking roof baby patreon.com
we're closing in on 1500 patrons those numbers are fucking cooking having a
good time over there on the
old patreon uh when you sign up you get bonus episodes of ayg you get episodes
of hard feelings which is me and
foley behind the curtains a little bit mixing it up uh you know the show behind
the show people are
calling it the airing of grievances every week which i like uh and then we do
we do live streams
every month with our top tier patrons also guys live shows coming up hello city
talk to me we're doing
one big show one big one restrictions change so we can do one big show there's
limited tickets left to
the fucking show so get 30 and 30 tickets get them ticky tickies now also uh
fourth and final show in
chicago those tickets are moving not really
let's go chicago don't make liars out of us i think we got we've been running
our mouth for the last
three weeks we got about 75 left on that show we gotta fucking pack them in
call a buddy call a cousin
do something t-bone calling the troops uh and india as well tickets are moving
there so get tickets to
that and yeah see you there good stuff we love it's gonna be a good summer
fucking keep it moving toward
2021 and how about a nice shout out to our producer extraordinaire the magic
man he makes us all look
good we love him you guys love him t-bone mcmuffin toby mcmullen what's up
dudes how are you buddy i'm
doing good the fucking underdog narrative of this podcast started going away
doing too good and we're
right back i know i get confident for a week i push you too much the cards
getting declined fucking shows
are fucking canceling oh gang that is neither here nor there this is uh we got
a little company in the
building today he's a fucking good friend of ours you guys second cousin twice
removed this guy he's
related to tody not me you can't remove me you guys love him we love him he's
back here with us to
fucking hang out he looks calm cool and collected you have a strange color yeah
about you you have a
weird son you ghost you got a weird hue to you right now it's called going
outside you feel the
animal also did you get new teeth or something no i'm just tan yeah i don't
know those chompers
are coming at you from a different direction they're looking good yeah i did
you get them whitened or
something this time last year the one sixth grade the one's beaming i feel like
he's looking at me
now he's going to be soft the bottom's a little jacked up the bottom's got to
be covered you're
going to cover the bottom like a classic car you should have a mustache on the
bottom
start dipping or something it's a tough look you're looking good though you're
looking you're looking
fresh you look fresh really long wow thank you i feel like a dressed up trash
can
you're good looking good for a trash can thank you i don't know if you get too
close to an
elementary school i rode 20 miles on the bike yesterday shirtless girthless
feeling all right
you know this guy this guy in his bike mentally it's a tornado i knew he was
going there whenever
somebody tells you how good they're doing physically you know they're going
school you're telling me
you're telling me i look good thank you i got a nice hue to me you know i've
been working out doing
the prison yard workout at the park you know having to get ready for a vacation
having to wait to do
pull-ups while a father and daughter do them and i'm just lurching around like
can i get in mind if
i work through smoking in between the reps pull in yeah yeah and finance ladies
and gentlemen
hey the one the only the fan favorite the fan favorite yes thank you i love it
always always a good
time always a good time not right now but usually a good time you know not so
much right now this is
a military you build me up and then knock me down no we just said how good you
look thank you minus
the bottom chompers i mean just wait till i take my shirt off you two will be
coming in your jeans
i already did yeah i'm ready for a cigarette and a good night's sleep i'll take
a cig right now let's
do it oh yeah you know what i was thinking about with you what was your what
was your sleepover
situation as a kid were you allowed to sleep over or were you the sleepover
house were you the sleepover
house uh in in high school i was a sleepover house i could have i couldn't
imagine the finance
residents what we were like it was it was like kramer's apartment me and my
friends at a video
game night we played the merv griffin show wait what do you mean you did you
you did a lot of impersonations as an like as adults when you were a kid didn't
you like all
right we'll be right back i feel like you did a lot of that stuff now he
impersonates a straight
man what are you talking about like you would do like bits like that i would
imagine no i would
impersonate my teachers and stuff in high school sleepers and everything we had
video game night
where we'd stay it's telling a couple of cool guys we're all virgins now i'm
gonna do mr johnson
everybody we'd all we'd all play video games at someone else's house and my
house was uh the one
where we'd go in the neighborhood and play like doorbell ditch oh yeah is that
what you called it
doorbell ditch or uh doorbell dixie what was it we called it knock and we
called it knock and run
ding dong ditch thank you yeah ding dong yeah or like some bozos would call it
knock knock zoom zoom
knock knock zoom zoom knock and run sounds like you're knocking people out yeah
sounds like it sounds
like a smashing grind job you're hitting the jewelry store yeah knock and run
yeah or we call it b and e
yeah did you hear they call foley on a knock and run yeah he's upstate serving
a nickel yeah
oh that's too funny you could only do that ditch ring and run was another one
ding dong ditch that
sounds sounds like you're jerking off in a retaining pond
getting whacked off don't forget the galoshes that's always a tough look when
you go to a
neighborhood and you see that when they got those retaining ponds where the
high grasses and it's like
oh god we would swim in them yeah that's thailand to me yeah go swim and bring
home some ringworm
yeah we get like a fucking we get out of the house yeah we get like tubes and
boogie
boards and go in there you just had to stay away from that big pipe that would
suck you in
you had to stay on the left side that's like one of those hillbilly uh surfing
places that they have
oh we have watering holes where it's a train that goes by and creates the wave
in like a lake
oh it's not a hillbath oh yeah yeah yeah get the fuck heading oh you know hillbillies
like kelly
slater yeah that's yeah i see what you're saying but like hillbillies don't
have the hillbillies
are the ones like on the back goes swinging each other hillbillies are the ones
with the
the retaining pond what are you talking about apparently i'm a hillbilly yeah
but you could only play knock and run in shitty neighborhoods it didn't work in
like a nice
neighborhood well you're not playing them with row homes
not going to kensington doing knock and runs no but you couldn't do it in like
a nice neighborhood
where the houses are like really far apart yeah we did it you did yeah you get
some exercise stick
the dogs on you dude i did it one time i was fucking we did we did hit it and
like hit this
guy's house and i'm running through his front yard and he i it was dark out and
he had like a flower bed
i fucking hit this thing and collapsed in half and he's like what the are you
doing i'm like everybody
left me we were doing dude i got the wind knocked out of me i'm gasping for air
in his front yard we were
doing it at uh frat houses at upenn and uh it was halloween and my buddy does
it who was when me and my
friends and my buddy my buddy does it and yeah yeah and secure we're all drunk
we're all tuned up my
buddy's you know causing trouble and he's running across a lot of rabble rousers
out here he goes
get the riddler knock and run in college video game night in high school yeah jesus
christ cool as hell
prom king huh yeah this guy cleaning up i like it i would in grade school
though i there were a couple
friends we'd alternate houses for the weekend like i go to theirs or they go to
mine
or whatever but when i was younger i i didn't really go to sleepovers that much
you weren't
allowed and like no it was like fucked up what do you mean like uh you know
like courts no i i couldn't
stay out i you know my dad died so i like couldn't stay out of kids houses i
would like freak out and
i'd have to go oh so i couldn't i wasn't i wasn't like i'll turn the microwave
on me he lost it dude
they turn the lights out i'm like where the everyone's gonna die so i fucking
you know just
had to stay home for a while oh you were that kid that had to get picked up and
leave yeah i would have
childhood trauma i wasn't that kid i was panicking i've had that a couple times
being that kid and being
the kid that's always the one that's up after everybody else goes oh dude i go
right in the
pantry someone says make yourself at home you do it they're like we didn't not
that way now he's
taking a bath yeah taking a bath scooping their fluff but making fluffer nutters
it was brutal being
the one and this was always me i was always the first one to wake up i'd wake
up at six i was up with
the dad yeah sitting there having coffee butter and toast green time magazine
nine years old yeah i
remember one time my parents we were at my friend's house and my parents they
all went out to dinner we
were 