Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Trashy Weddings w/ Casey Balsham
Uploaded: 2021-07-05T03:16:45.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Trashy Weddings w/ Casey Balsham' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Trashy Weddings w/ Casey Balsham' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-05. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Trashy Weddings w/ Casey Balsham

Gang, real quick before we get this episode started, summer is going into full
swing and so is the Are You Garbage Keep It Movin' 2021 tour.
Oh yeah.
We're going to be coming to a town near you for a little bit of stand-up and we're
going to be answering your garbage questions.
Kippy, tell them what they need to know.
July 14th, Columbus Funny Bone.
July 15th, Cleveland Hilarities.
August 11th, Rhode Island Comedy Connection.
August 12th, Laugh Boston.
Those tickets are cooking.
That's going to sell out.
Get those tickets.
Then August 25th, we're at New Brunswick Stress Factory.
And then August 26th, we're at McGoovy's Joke House in Timonium, Maryland,
right outside of Baltimore.
I like it, gang.
Get some ticks.
Come out and see.
It's going to be a fantastic fun time.
I mix the stand-up comedy and the AYG game.
Come out and hang with Uncle Hank and your Aunt Kippy.
Do it.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back.
I love that.
Favorite new podcast.
This is Are You Garbage, God damn it.
Sure is.
It's a little show.
We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out if they grow up to be
classy or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're down here at Aunt Tootie's basement.
Something I have to discuss with you.
What's that?
By chance, I had two scratch-offs on the kitchen table upstairs.
Did you take them?
I didn't.
You sure?
No, yeah, of course.
Great.
Tootie's back gambling again.
Oh, God.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
That really had legs.
He's the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He's my boss, God damn it.
Show this bozo a little respect.
Well, yeah, he's got a big forehead, but he's a good kid.
Put the whole thing together.
Give it up for Kevin James Ryan.
Hey, gang, happy to be here.
Thanks for tuning in.
I say that with all due respect, sir.
Yeah, right.
Jesus Christ, it's fucking paycheck week, too.
I know it is.
Oh, believe me, I know.
Patty, we're eating good this weekend, baby.
Fried baloney for everybody.
Guys, thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
And as you know, those numbers are true to roof.
True to fucking roof.
Yes, sir.
And let me tell you about something.
This is through the roof, through the fucking stratosphere, into another galaxy.
Talking about the Patreon?
At patreon.com slash RU Garbage.
Talk to me in the first class lounge.
I'll tell you that right now.
Guys, check it out.
Patreon.com.
You get bonus episodes of AYG.
You get episodes of Hard Feelings, which is, you know, now everybody's new, new
favorite
podcast.
If you're signing up, sign up for the $10 level.
That's what you got to do.
Savings for the whole family.
And then with the top tier, we do live streams where we play AYG with you guys
every month.
It's a good fucking time.
Get involved.
Also, real quick, shows coming out July 14th and July 15th.
We're going to be in Ohio, Columbus Funny Bone and Hilarities in Cleveland.
Get those fucking tickets because they are moving.
They're cooking, believe it or not.
They're fucking moving.
And if you want to come see us in Boston, do yourself a favor.
That's going to go soon.
Get the prepaid, whatever it is, the spot on your check.
Whatever you got to do to get the cash, get it and make a move now.
Yeah.
Because they ain't going to land.
That's going to go very soon.
And how about a nice shout out to our producer extraordinaire.
He is the magic man, T-Bone McMuffin.
It's Toby McMullen.
T-Bone.
What's up, dudes?
Good to see you, buddy.
Great job on the fucking AC videos.
Fucking killing it.
Thanks.
This kid's been working his balls off.
Oh, yeah.
On the Patreon, we post longer versions of the live shows.
We post like, you know, eight to ten minute chunks of the live shows on Patreon.
So, check that out as well.
Yeah.
Can you guys do me a favor?
Get in there and do the dishes because I've been in the kitchen cooking.
I made a hot meal for all of you.
Gang, we could not be more excited to have our incredibly, incredibly special
guest here
with us today.
She's back with us.
You loved her so much.
You've all been asking, when's she coming back?
When's she coming back?
When's she coming back?
We got her here right now.
She was the first episode in Tooties.
First episode in Tooties.
And now here we are.
We're about a month away from her wedding.
She's the bride-to-be.
Daddy's a little angel.
Getting married.
She's a who-er.
Don't tell anyone.
Give it up for Casey Balsham, everybody.
Casey B.
Thanks for having me back.
I'm so proud of you guys.
It's so funny.
I'm just so excited to hear my friends that they're going to Ohio.
But it feels like real shit.
I would always do podcasts and I was like, I'm never going to go to fucking
Ohio.
But I love you.
You're really doing it.
Really proud of you guys.
We're trying.
Thank you, buddy.
That means the world to us.
Thank you so much for coming in and sitting with us.
This is a company episode.
We're going to be answering some Patreon questions.
But we thought since we had you here, you got the wedding coming up.
I know.
We wanted to talk about it.
It's going to be the fucking social event of the season.
I hope so.
Front page of Laugh Button, they're saying.
It's the way you got to be.
If you weren't at the fucking Balsham Slovak wedding, you're not in the
business.
Is Jeffrey Goring going to be there?
Yeah, I hope so.
Is he really?
Well, you'll be able to smell him if he is, you know.
Smell him coming from the woods.
He's my favorite.
Yeah, most people had to submit a tape, but I let you guys do that.
You were invited.
So, it's all good.
What clubs do you get up at regularly?
Yeah.
See where you're sitting.
You got to get two recommendations to go to this wedding?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's where we're going to find out where we're really at in the biz.
Where we're sitting.
How far into the woods I am.
We've talked about your wedding a good amount on Patreon and on the regular
episodes because this is a good thing for us.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
We've been saying that we have this wedding coming up.
This is the wedding.
It's mine.
Because now we have, you know, I went and bought a suit yesterday.
I went out and bought a brand new suit yesterday, which we'll get into, by the
way.
I got fucking bamboozled over there at Bonobos.
I'll never be a sponsor.
Kippy's upside down in a three-button Euro cut.
I mean, if it's fun to say, there's no way that it's serious.
You can't get anything serious from Bonobos.
It's just too fun.
Where'd you pick this merchandise up at?
It's getting shipped to me.
Well, whatever.
We'll get into it.
He's buying suits off Amazon.
I'm going to lose it.
I've got to be honest with you.
I was furious at the whole transaction.
But we've talked about what we're going to wear.
Now that we have a little bit of cash, we want to look good.
We want to show up.
I love it.
It's the new money.
We want to represent ourselves as new, you know, not the bozos we once were.
I got a sweet Bryce Harper jersey on there.
As long as you guys don't show up in jeans, I'm, like, terrified that Scopo's
going to show up in, like, a fucking Mets jersey.
Scopo wouldn't do it.
He's got a baseball bat on his shoulder.
But there always is.
I mean, there's always one guy at a wedding with maybe not jeans, but there's
always the one.
Somebody underdressed.
I've already been asked.
See, khakis, I would.
Khakis don't even.
Because it's the middle of summer.
It's New York.
It's going to be hot.
We're going to be in the woods.
I mean, like Dockers.
Dockers, yeah.
If you show up to my wedding in cargo pants, I will send you home.
I will tell you to take a walk on the creek.
I got a whole suit of cargo pants.
It's got the pockets on the jacket.
Unless it's a full suit.
Unless it's a costume, then I'm fine with it.
But if you're just, like, if you just dress shitty on purpose and, like, not
funny.
But I'm scared.
Like, I've already had people ask if they can wear shorts.
And I've had to be like, I'm not sure.
I don't think.
I think, well, they do.
They are selling suits, like, suit with the shorts.
Which is fun.
That shit is so whack.
Which is kind of, if it's like.
If you can pull it, you have to be in really good shape and good looking to
pull that off.
Otherwise, you look like a fat kid.
Yeah, you can't hem your pants that you currently have and keep your jacket.
Like, you'll look like a fucking asshole.
Or you wear, like, or, like, I sent to some of my college friends.
I sent them, like, on Amazon.
They've got, like, bright red ones or ones that just have, like, piano keys
over them.
I'd be like, this I'd be okay with because you guys, we were theater majors and
you're ridiculous anyway.
But in general, I feel like I've been telling people, like, you know, a nice,
like, dress like a girl, like an adult.
Dress like you've done this so far.
Well, you had this conversation.
Yeah.
And Kevin yelled at me for grilling you about what to wear because I was
worried about it, too.
And as we've said on the podcast, it's tricky for a fat guy because you can go
out and get the nicest suit and the nicest shirt and tie.
But once that jacket comes off and, like, you know, it's the buffet time,
everything's pulled out.
You know, you look like a principal.
Mr. Foley can't control these kids.
You can be yelling at everybody to go to sleep.
Be quiet in the halls.
Is that weed I smell?
It will be.
Are you worried about people?
Will you be upset if somebody shows up very underdressed?
No.
I mean, in all honesty, like, my wedding's gonna be a fucking circus.
I just told you guys I was trying to buy toys at a store.
Like, I was literally trying to buy those yard-long drinks that they sell in
Vegas to, like, just have on hand for fun.
Man, you are trash.
I know.
You are fucking garbage.
No, I just love Vegas.
And I, like, I told, tell me, that was not not on the list of places to get
married.
I told Robbie, I was like, Vegas, and he's like, absolutely fucking not.
Yeah, well, he's like a mild-mannered gentleman.
Yeah, he's put together.
He's got some trashy roots and stuff like that.
But he's subtle, together.
You're just off.
You're looking for, you know, three-foot-long fucking drink daters for your
wedding.
Guys, I ate it sweet.
You're supposed to be a bride.
I ate it sweet green today.
You want a kamikaze fountain.
If that was available, I fucking would.
I truly, like, I've ordered.
Wait, he's from Tampa?
He claims Tampa.
He's grown up like.
He's from all over the world.
He's grown up everywhere, but he's.
Born in South Africa.
Yeah.
And then lived in England, lived in Gibraltar, lived in fucking St. Thomas.
These are learned people.
Well, if he brings any guests from Tampa, you better check them for Zanny Bars.
There is.
There's a whole table of people from Tampa.
I kind of want to sit at that table, to be honest with you.
Venture Island pass holders.
They're season pass holders.
That's what their table is called.
That's what I'm talking about.
There is just a fucking bus of Tampa people coming.
A little Margaritaville and cocaine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nothing wrong with it.
I mean, I'm not saying.
Someone's going to have a cut-off suit for sure.
Yeah.
Someone's going to have a snakeskin jean jacket.
Yeah!
Ow!
Snakeskin jean jacket.
I don't even know if that's a thing, but if it is, send me one.
If you're going to get snakeskin denim, Tampa Florida's where you get it.
Yeah, exactly.
No, I'm trying to keep this as classy because it's also expensive.
But in my head, I've already bought just toys and things.
I have a drag queen singing at dinner.
It's going to be a fucking mess.
It's going to be like Tiger King.
That's what I'm going to say.
The Tiger King wedding of the century.
I should 