Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Mark Normand Part 3!
Uploaded: 2021-07-26T01:33:17.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Mark Normand Part 3!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Mark Normand Part 3!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-26. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Mark Normand Part 3!

Hang on a second there, gang.
Before we get the show started, the Keep It Moving 2021 tour is in full swing,
as you know.
Yeah.
We have some additions.
Sure.
We have some announcements.
Kippy, straighten them out.
Guys, we're coming to Providence, Rhode Island, August 11th.
We're going to be in Boston, Massachusetts, August 12th.
Shalinkit.
We're going to be in New Brunswick, New Jersey, August 25th.
Jersey.
Stress Factory.
We're going to be in Timonium, Maryland, outside Baltimore at Magoobies on
August 26th.
Then, the big thing, Moontower Comedy Festival.
Look out.
We're going to be there.
At the fest.
At the fest.
A couple of festy boys.
There you go.
That's going to be at the end of September on September 23rd, 24th, 25th.
It's going to be bonkos.
Get some tickies.
It's going to be a good time.
Can't wait to see you there.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Sure is.
It's a little show.
We sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find out if they grow up to be
classy
or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're down here at Antony's basement.
She's feeling good, feeling fine.
Yeah.
Keeping an eye on her.
She sleeps a lot.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
I don't know what it is.
I think it's the Percocet.
Could be the Percocet.
You got to watch out.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
He's the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He's really an international businessman.
Kind of the head bozo around here.
Kind of my boss.
So do me a favor.
Make me look good.
Show him a little respect.
Give it up for Kevin, James, Ryan, everybody.
Hey, gang.
Happy to be here.
As always, thanks for tuning in.
Please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
And as you know, those numbers are...
True to roof.
Cooking, baby.
And then Patreon.com.
Goddamn.
I mean, that's the real fucking...
That's the real money maker.
Love that money.
Love that money.
Talk about new money.
Patreon.com.
You get a bunch of bonus content, the whole nine yards.
And also, T-Bone's yelling at me, check out Are You Garbage on Instagram.
We're almost at 10,000.
We need that fucking swipe up.
Yeah, need that swipe up.
Move some ticky wickies.
And how about a nice shout out to our producer extraordinaire, the magic man.
Makes us all look good.
He was the pride of the Chicago comedy scene.
Now, New York City comedian.
He's out there in Queens, keeping everybody in line.
T-Bone McMuffin.
It's Toby McMullen, everybody.
Come on.
What's up, dudes?
What's up, T-Bone?
Now they get a lot of love from Chicago watching you boys launch it with the
Malort shots.
Yeah, that shit stunk, dude.
You look like tweens drinking vodka for the first time.
Oh, man.
Like my first Newport.
Gang, we could not be more excited to have our incredibly special guest back
with us today.
Third time on the show.
If you haven't seen his first episode, you got to go check it out.
If you haven't seen his last episode, you got to go check it out.
We are super pumped to have him back.
Of course, you know him from We Might Be Drunk, Tuesdays with Stories, and the
smash hit special, Out to Lunch.
I've heard about it.
Ladies and gentlemen, he's a good-looking kid, tight little body, about to go
off the market.
We love him.
You love him.
Give it up for the one.
The only, Mr. Mark Norman.
Yeah.
Look at you.
Look at him.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Good to be back in the basement.
It smells like cigarettes.
That's awesome.
Right on brand.
It's our potpourri.
Yeah.
Order it special.
What is that, Marlboro or American Spirit?
It's a combination.
All right.
More of a parliament family, to be honest with you.
I got you.
Buddy, first off, congratulations.
Oh, thanks.
Yeah.
Congratulations on the engagement.
I'm a lucky guy.
He's a good-looking man.
He's getting married to Anderson Cooper, huh?
I wish.
That guy's got a tight body on him.
Oh, man.
Tight body.
Nice place downtown, too.
Oh, yeah.
Nice salt and pepper, that kid.
Silver Fox.
Yeah.
We got you a little present.
We did.
Oh, come on.
We're trying to, you know, we're a little new money over here.
You know what I mean?
We're happy for you.
We thought we'd get you something that you might enjoy.
I'm nervous.
And on behalf of the Are You Garbage Squad.
And Antutti Corporation.
And Antutti, of course.
Antutti's credit card.
Oh, my God.
Look at this.
Wow.
Irish whiskey.
Wow.
This is beautiful.
I know you're a whiskey guy.
Yeah, well, I just quit.
And we only took a couple of sips out of it, too.
Oh, yeah.
It's practically dope.
Don't put it in the freezer.
It might freeze.
I'm going to drink this on the pod, on the We Might Be Drunk pod.
Oh, there you go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll look like a cool guy.
It's my favorite whiskey.
It's really good.
I've never heard.
Writer's tears.
Yeah, it's a little secret.
A little hidden gem.
Did I hear correctly that you guys are going to make your own?
That's true?
You got it, Fatty.
I mean, we're going.
We're making our own.
It's so much funnier when he calls you Fatty.
Yeah.
He says it perfectly.
I save it for non-fats, but you fluctuate like Oprah over there.
But, yeah.
Like Nathan Lane.
Yeah, we're making our own rye.
That's crazy.
What?
We're just shooting for it.
I love it.
We know a guy in the business, and we said, why the hell not?
He said, let's try it.
Scottie Pippins is failing.
Drake's is failing.
I feel like you guys are on the road every weekend.
You're basically doing a campaign.
It's true.
At every club in the city, so let's do it.
Dude, it's like Avion.
Fucking Vinny Chase shit.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
You're the next George Clooney.
That could make you millionaires.
It could.
It's a shot.
It might make us nothing.
Hopefully, we break even, but we'll give it a whirl.
Mark Cuban buys you out.
That's it right there.
That's the goal.
Picture you two on Shark Tank.
Both hammered drunk, showing up.
Making a move on the blonde in it, lady.
Oh, yeah.
Shout out to Barbara.
I call Damon the N-word, and they're like, that's why I'm out.
I like your older stuff better.
Holy shit.
Boo-boo.
Now, gang, this is a company episode.
We're going to be answering some Patreon questions here, but before we get to
that, we wanted
to kind of continue a little bit.
Now that you're taking this step into adulthood.
It's a big jump.
It's a big jump.
Yeah, scary jump.
We wanted to talk to you a little bit, Dad.
Follow up with some questions about that stuff.
You know, you're a wacky, crazy guy.
This guy's bonkos.
This guy's bonkos.
This kid's bonkos.
But when you pull that away, I mean, you're extremely organized, extremely hardworking.
You are an adult.
You own your own place.
Sure.
Where do you feel that you're at as far as, like, you have your shit pretty
much together.
Do you feel like an adult?
Yeah.
Do you feel like an adult?
Of course, you never do.
I have the penis of a child.
But, you know, obviously, I'd love to drink every night.
And you've got to get it together.
I wouldn't mind having a little Norman.
Oh.
A little guy running around the house.
Yeah, that'd be cute.
You know, a little ding-a-ling, flipping around the residence there.
Running around doing material.
Yeah.
What's the deal with formula?
It's got a little moped.
Yeah, exactly.
So that'd be fun and all that.
So I figure, hey, you've got to work hard and play hard.
And that's really what life's all about is that balance.
Like, we all want to just eat chimichangas and do crank.
But if you go all one way, you're not – if you do the hard work and then you
earn the fun,
I feel like it means more.
Yeah, for sure.
The payoff is way better.
Right, right.
So that's what it's all about.
Well, where am I going?
I'm not going anywhere.
So, yeah, I'll tie the knot.
Do you guys live together now?
Yes.
And will – you do?
So she lives with you at your place?
Yeah.
And you guys will stay there?
Yeah.
I mean, I'd hope to go bigger one day.
Sure.
I mean, she's gotten much bigger.
So we have to – no, I'm joking.
But I hope to get a bigger place.
Has it become more of a couple's apartment than it was when you were there by
yourself?
Well, you guys moved, no?
Of course.
You guys moved together.
Oh, you did?
Yeah, you're not – yeah, he's not in the –
We were in a shoebox in the pandemic, and we were butting heads.
You own that place, though.
I do.
You sold it?
I rented out to an old Asian lady.
What?
She's the best tenant of all time.
Damn.
She sits in there and knits and does Tai Chi all night.
She's quiet.
The windows are broken.
The locks don't work.
There's roaches, and she doesn't notice.
That's great.
I think she's on opium or something.
But her and Tony Hinchcliffe are doing a podcast.
But no.
I can't wait to hear that.
Yeah.
Wait, so did you buy a new place, or are you guys renting?
I'm renting this one, but I hate renting.
I feel like the city's got a hold on me.
That's what New York is.
It's a video game.
You show up, and you're on the most difficult level, and you get your ass
kicked, and you
get a place, and you live in Bushwick, then you live in Crown Heights, then you
get
to maybe Williamsburg, then the village.
Get closer and closer and closer.
And less and less roommates.
Exactly.
Dude, I remember the first time I got my own place, no cosigner.
I was like, I literally felt like I got elected president, dude.
Yes.
The greatest, my crowning achievement.
Exactly.
Then you get a hot pod, and then a better studio.
It just keeps, it's incremental, and that's what life's all about, is pushing
that boulder
up the goddamn hill.
What's his name?
Syphilis?
Syphilis.
Yeah.
I agree.
So yeah, that's what it's all about.
Great gonorrhea.
You lose in LA, or Austin, or whatever.
It's too comfortable, and I need to keep pushing.
That's the only way I can stay sane.
And feel alive and relevant.
Yeah.
You need the gun to your head to keep fucking pushing.
Yes.
Exactly.
The gun to the head.
The gun to the head is to get hard.
It's funny, because we're, you know, we're, you know, the pods, this pod's
starting to
fucking pick up and cook, and like, we're financially stable from where you
were as like, a fucking
road feature, or like, you know, running around New York doing bar shows.
Sure.
And now I'm like, I'm like, oh, great.
I can finally let my foot off the gas and relax a little bit.
But then I go, oh, no, no, I'm not, I don't like that, that feeling of comfort.
No.
I need, let's do more fucking Patreon stuff.
Let's fucking book more shows on the road.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I think we're in the same boat where I feel like for a guy, hair loss is
our biological
clock.
Yes.
You know, like, you're hanging in there.
You got a beautiful head of hair.
That's all he's got, by the way.
Yeah, you got a lot of hair and a lot of cholesterol.
But you too, T-Bone.
Look, that's a mane and a half.
I mean, that's like Sampson over there.
But-
T-Bone's got a piece on him, too.
I saw a bulge.
Dude, you can see, yeah, he's uncircumcised, you can tell.
He was checking the mics.
I almost started talking into his crotch.
Check, check, check.
Hey, you guys using a boom mic, huh?
Quite a haul.
That's because it's a longboard.
But, yeah.
This kid's hanging tan over here.
The hair is going and I'm on the Propecian.
I feel like I got to get married, get some wedding pics, have a kid, get some
TV spots with this
hair and then call it quits.
Dude, I felt the same thing.
It was like, because like, obviously I call him fat.
He calls me bald.
That's the crotch.
You think yours is going?
It's going.
He's thin.
You're thin in a bit, but you're fine.
I'm slow.
You're great.
I got five years left, but I'm aware of it.
I got five weeks left.
I mean, yeah, you're not like-
You're right, right.
I appr