Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Tom Thakkar - Indiana Kid
Uploaded: 2021-07-29T02:20:23.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Tom Thakkar - Indiana Kid' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Tom Thakkar - Indiana Kid' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-29. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Tom Thakkar - Indiana Kid

Holy Bunkos, kids, look out.
The Keep It Movin' Tour is adding new dates.
We're coming to a city near you.
Come and see us.
Some stand-up, and we play AYG at the end of the show with the crowd.
We answer your garbage questions.
We've got some trash so far, but I know, I know there's deeper garbage out
there around the country.
Oh, yeah.
So come on out and see us.
Kippy, tell them what they need to know.
Oh, baby, we're all over the place.
Providence, Rhode Island, August 11th.
Boston, Massachusetts, August 12th.
New Brunswick, New Jersey, August 25th.
Tomatoes.
Timonium, Maryland, Magoobies, August 26th.
Couple of crabs.
Then we're going to Tejas, baby.
Uh-oh.
September 21st will be in San Antonio, Texas.
September 22nd will be in Houston, Texas.
September 23rd through the 25th, Austin, Texas for the Moon Tower Comedy
Festival.
Look out.
And I ain't done yet.
August 26th will be at Dallas, Fort Worth, Texas.
What?
Then we're bringing it back to Long Island, baby.
What?
In September 30th.
And then we're coming home.
The boys are coming.
The chickens are coming home to roost, baby.
October 27th, we're going to be in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
And then back down to Tejas, November 5th through the 7th for Skank Fest South.
Get those tickets.
The link will be in the description.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there.
And welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
It's a little show.
We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out if they grow up to be
classy or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're down here at Aunt Tootie's basement.
She's upstairs.
Fresh bottle of Perks.
Oh, yeah?
Got her set till Labor Day.
Wow, look at that.
Summer to Tootie.
There you go.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
Ladies and gentlemen, he's a goddamn international businessman.
So show him some respect.
Give it up for Kevin James Ryan.
Hey, gang.
Happy to be here, as always.
Please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube, Patreon.com.
You sign up, you get a bunch of bonus content and live shows.
I don't know when this comes out.
There's going to be a bunch of fucking dates coming out.
We're going to be all over the fucking place.
So get some tickies to a show.
You just had a little respect on the intro for you.
You didn't call me a bozo?
It's the end of the month.
Yeah, I know.
Paycheck time.
Yeah, I know.
Mr. Ryan.
I'm aware.
You get real fucking nice around the 22nd of every month.
I'm sure that Patreon's getting ready to process.
You're like, oh, Mr. Ryan, do you need a coffee?
Is your hair growing in?
What's going on?
Pisha's working.
Gang, how about a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire?
He's the magic man.
Former Chicago comic.
Recent New York transplant.
Hitting the scene hard.
Give it up for T-Bone McMuffin.
Toby McMullen.
What up, dudes?
Hey, buddy.
Oh, man.
I'm sorry.
Are the numbers going down?
Because I think that they're...
True to roof.
I'm sorry.
I forgot.
You called me slipping.
You called me slipping.
I got one bit on the show.
I know.
Toby has one scripted line, and I stole it from him.
Oh, fuck, dude.
Hey, Toby.
We're cutting your intro next week.
Gang, we could not be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean
incredibly special,
guests here with us today for the first time.
This man is a very funny stand-up comedian, podcaster, writer, and actor.
You've seen him on Conan.
You've seen him on This Week at the Comedy Cellar.
Oh, boy.
The stand-up show with John Doerr, and of course, he is the host of the amazing
podcast Stand
By Your Band, but the big question in everybody's mind today, is he garbage?
I'm going to tell you something, folks.
This guy came in correct.
This is a fucking precedent set here.
Walked in with a truly pineapple mango pounder.
The big boy.
Let's go, baby.
That's bigger than a pounder.
I think that's a 20.
That's a 20.
That's a dude's deuce.
Yeah, it is.
That's a 24-ounce truly at 2 p.m.
I might have.
It's 2.30.
I want to break the fucking fourth wall here.
It's the afternoon on a Wednesday.
Or a Thursday, whatever.
It's 2.45 somewhere.
This guy's got a three-liter of white claw in his bag.
Okay, give it up for Tom Takar, everybody.
Tommy.
Thanks for having me, boys.
I was loving your pod.
Thanks for doing it.
I was stunned when you walked in with that.
Yeah.
I mean, stunned.
I thought this was a podcast about being garbage.
I didn't know you guys were going to be so fucking friendly.
It's still the afternoon on a work week, for God's sake.
I've been wanting to drink more during the podcast, to be honest.
Yeah, I thought that everybody would be partying in here.
I thought certainly Toby would be.
What's his fucking job over there?
Come on.
Pop one, baby.
Get crazy.
Toby's got a bit of a problem.
You hear that hippie?
You hear that hippie?
You look like a dirt ball.
That's what he's saying.
Well, you know, some things change.
Chemical addictions happen.
Yeah, Toby's straight edge now.
Anybody who comes here from Chicago is like, always.
They get after it.
My buddy came here, and they were like, I don't know, whatever he was talking
about, people
in New York drink, and then they realized everybody they were with was from
Chicago.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I remember, well, in other cities other than New York, when you drink, that's
part of comedy
a lot.
It's like, you go do one set, and then you get drunk.
It's like the big social thing.
Sure.
And I remember I moved up here, and I was a big drinker, and I was at the bar,
and I
ordered a pitcher for myself.
Because I'm like, it was cheaper than going up and getting beers.
And I turn around, and Monroe Martin and Derrick Keynes were like, who's that
for?
I'm like, me.
They're like, you can't be doing this up here.
Yeah.
I'm like, all right, I'm sorry.
I thought we were partying.
That's what people, in Chicago, there was a bar, I don't know if it was around
when
you were doing it, but there used to be an open mic where it was $2 pitchers.
And so you would go, and you'd go late, and it sucked shit, but you were like,
I am fucked
up.
Yeah, $2 pitchers, yeah.
I'm a successful comedian.
I love that.
That was my favorite part.
Yeah, I'll struggle through five minutes, and then 15 beers.
Let's go.
The more you drink, the better your career feels.
Yeah, yeah.
Pitchers are garbage.
Yeah.
Off the jump.
I agree.
I'm a big fan.
Nah, it's trash.
I agree, because it's going to go flat faster.
It's going to go flat.
I like a draft or a bottle.
I love them.
A bottle of High Life is maybe.
It's pretty good.
Ice cold?
Yes.
Nothing wrong with a High Life.
Yes.
Nothing wrong with a High Life.
If you're getting a pitcher, most chances are the bar's not cleaning the lines.
No.
It's a plastic fucking pitcher.
Yes.
It's always.
If you're going.
No one's serving a glass pitcher, by the way, because if you're drinking pitchers,
they're
going to get thrown at some point.
If you go to a really good Chuck E. Cheese, they'll throw a pitcher of birch
beer at you
in a glass pitcher.
I'm a big pitcher guy.
If you've got like four people at a table, just like two pitchers at a time,
and they're
going quick.
If you're like watching a game or something.
That's fair.
I still would rather just a bucket of beers if I'm going to do something like
that.
That's the mark of a gentleman right there.
A bucket of beers.
A bucket of beers is where I like to live.
Baker's Dozen of Rolling Rocks Ponies.
Yeah.
Fucking ice down.
Yeah.
The beer tower is the trashiest move.
Oh, yeah.
That's another thing.
This is.
So I grew up in a college town.
I like that.
When I grew up, I was like, oh, my God, it's it's you're losing money not to
drink.
What's a beer tower?
A beer tower.
There was like big things like a hundred ounces.
Yeah.
A hundred ounces.
They had a hundred ounce craft beer.
Ten dollars at this Mexican place in my hometown.
I'm moving to Indy.
You got to move to it.
You got to move to Bloomington, Indiana, brother.
And it's my buddy thought.
Bloomington Miller Lights craft beer.
Come on now.
Don't come at my home.
Yeah.
Coors Light.
We don't take that commie shit over here to pay that right now.
We were at a bowling alley with a tower of beers.
My buddy was blacked out with his calculator out being like, they got to be
ripping us off.
There's no way.
This deal is good.
I've done that a lot.
Break out the calculator to make sure the ounces line up.
Oh, yeah.
Half of this is just Sprite.
What's going on?
You're taking inventory like you had one.
He had two.
That one's halfway done.
They're shorted us nine ounces here.
Again, place like that, one thing's for certain.
Those things have never and will never be washed.
No, because you would have to do them in any regard.
There's not a sink big enough to get that thing under there.
They just like, you know, yeah, no way.
Holy shit.
So give us the complete backstory.
Because I said I was a little in the dark about this thing.
You mentioned Indiana.
Yes.
Take it from there.
Give us the deets.
So I'm from Bloomington, Indiana.
John Cooper Melantan country.
That's right.
Yeah.
He's a piece of shit, by the way.
Really?
What do you do?
Bad reputation in Bloomington.
He's the type of dude.
Banging a bunch of fucking hot chicks, I imagine.
I mean, he did bring Meg Ryan, which is weird.
I love Meg Ryan.
I love Meg Ryan, too.
He was dating Meg Ryan?
He's still with Meg Ryan, I believe.
Johnny Cougar?
I'm pretty sure, yeah.
They look in Bloomington, Indiana, but he's the type to, like, not tip well at
Chili's and shit.
Really?
Yeah.
Fuck him.
There's a story.
My sister told me this, where we have a shoe place in Indiana called Shoe Carnival.
It's clearly not a high-class place, but it's where we would go to get our
shoes.
There were shoe carnies in town.
Holy shit.
Wait, hold on.
Hold on.
Is it a year-round store?
Yes.
Yes.
It's not like a carnival.
It's not traveling?
Yeah.
Do you walk into, like, a clown's mouth or something?
What's the carnival?
It's they only sell clown shoes.
What size are you, little fella?
So, there's this place called Shoe Carnival.
You get to spin a wheel that gives you a discount or something.
It's pretty fun, obviously.
Holy shit.
That's trashy if you're buying a car, let alone a pair of shoes.
I know.
Yeah, you're spinning the wheel of shoes.
It's the wheel of shame.
They didn't have, like, Nikes.
They just had, like, Shaq shoes and shit.
Shaq shoes.
Shaq shoes are a tough look.
They had the and ones that were, like, nobody wanted, but I loved it.
There were two left shoes.
So, he rolls into Shoe Carnival, which you're like, you're a fucking celebrity,
man.
Cougs did?
Cougs.
Cougs at Shoe Carnival.
What are we talking about?
We're not talking about 90s, 80s, are we?
This is probably early 2000s, I want to say.
Maybe late 90s.
I drink a lot.
My timeline.
No, you?
No way.
Never picked up on that.
So, he rolls in there.
He sees a pair of shoes he wants.
They don't have it in his size.
He pulls, do you know who I am?
At Shoe Carnival.
As if they're going to be like, oh, my bad.
Let's take you to the celebrity room of Shoe Carnival.
Why don't you say something?
We have the good Shaq shoes in the back.
Well, that attitude is probably why Meg Ryan left his ass in November 2019.
Let's go.
Hell yeah.
Meg is on the market.
Back out on the market.
Love Meg Ryan.
Wow.
City of Angels.
Great movie.
Check it out.
The quote is, it got exhausting for her to deal with.
Yes.
If you're Meg Ryan and you're dating with Mellencamp, he takes you to Applebee's.
You're like, I did not think this is what it was going to be.
Also, she shouldn't be dating anybody that's shopping at fucking Shoe Carnival.
Yes.
You know what