Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Working w/ a Black Eye
Uploaded: 2021-08-16T00:25:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Working w/ a Black Eye' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Working w/ a Black Eye' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-16. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Working w/ a Black Eye

holy bunkos kids look out the keep it moving tour is adding new dates we're
coming to a city
near you come and see us some stand up and we play ayg at the end of the show
with the crowd
we answer your garbage questions we've got some trash so far but i know i know
there's deeper
garbage out there around the country oh yeah so come on out and see us kippy
tell them what they
need to know new brunswick new jersey august 25th down tomatoes timonium maryland
mcgoobies august 26th
couple of crabs then we're going to tejas baby august uh september 21st will be
in san antonio texas
september 22nd will be in houston texas september 23rd through the 25th austin
texas for the moon
tower comedy festival and i ain't done yet august 26th will be at for dallas
fort worth texas what
then we're bringing it back to long island baby in september 30th and then we're
coming home the
boys are cut the chickens are coming home to roost baby october 27th we're
going to be in philadelphia
pennsylvania and then back down to tejas uh november 5th through the 7th for skank
fest south get those
tickets the link will be in the description welcome to another exciting edition
of are you garbage the
show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or
absolute trash now here are
your hosts kevin ryan and h foley hey everybody out there and welcome back to
everybody's favorite new
podcast this is are you garbage it's a little show we sit down with your
favorite comedians and we find
out if they grow up to be classy yeah or if they're just a big old piece of
trash i'm your host h foley
coming at you on a beautiful day we're down here at aunt tootie's basement yeah
she's upstairs uh-huh
cough ache fever sweat she's telling me she's got the the delta v but i think
she's just junked out
not gonna lie she's more of a spirit kind of girl too yeah a little bit i feel
that my co-host is
coming at you from across the table at me through the e-break on that thing it's
a family episode i got
my point across yeah very she's on the abu gott's the junk all right when i
tell you i can't keep her
off this she's going through my sock drawer at night looking for uh the dildo i
told her top drawer
top drawer i keep it on me i keep it in the freezer i like it cold well your reese's
cup you know what i
mean my co-host is coming at you from across the table so that means it is a
family episode
we've circled the wagons yet again we want to come together we want to regroup
recharge refocus
that's what we do here he's uh becoming a bit of an international businessman i
gotta go i gotta go
secure more funding this week to a degree he's off to a business trip to europe
yeah i'm in charge
what am i am i in charge when you're gone literally no i you're not no what
about the
gaskets at the house get me up there foley listen uh yeah no you have nothing
enjoy the vacation
thank you but you still have to edit kevin james ryan everybody hey gang happy
to be here tough break
hippie
you do this george stall i'll call you when i get down the shore bozo make sure
you're all right
what's up gang happy to be here as always please make sure you rate if you
subscribe on itunes full
video available on youtube and as you know those numbers are what iced just
like foley's dildo
true to roof there you go and then patreon.com you sign up there you get a
bunch of fucking i mean like
i we might have the best in the i don't want to say it i don't want to go toe
to toe it's a good time
over there you're getting a lot you're getting a lot of product we i mean yeah
we do uh a bonus
episode of ayg every week we do a bonus episode of hard feelings every week and
then we do a monthly
live stream with uh with the top tier pages a good fucking time check that out
and also a live show
baby we're on a road come hang out with the boys come see us it's gonna be a
good time yeah right
yeah we're having fun we're having a fucking blast it's a good summer we love
you mixing it up with
everybody and we also love our incredibly talented producer who's been thinking
for the last 45 seconds
how to burn me let's get to him he's a recent transplant from the chicago scene
uh-huh we got
him in a three-way trade with uh i lost a washing machine in this thing two
dozen chicago dogs we had
to give up uh t-bone mcmuffin toby mcmullen what's up dudes what's up t-bone oh
key west kippy they're
gonna hate you in russia yeah you can't be wearing those fucking shirts over
there this is where they're
from what europe yeah hawaiian shirts are from europe this is hawaiian what is
it greece
you're gonna get kidnapped that's what do you mean i think you work for the
company don't go over
there fucking running your mouth i got big big sunglasses on this shirt and a
briefcase
me and foley just came from a weekend away yes a nice weekend where we got
along like fucking chums
the whole time we had a really good time out there at the wedding of the stars
yeah robbie uh
balsham no cocaine i'm a pretty good guy i don't think there was i didn't see
it no nothing like that
going on yeah no it was nice it was a good time i see it was nice two guys in
nice suits dressed well
we tell me be honest okay yeah for the listener we added a social event to
attend which we've talked
about yeah we've discussed it the first of its kind for us to go as mature
adults yes as somebody
with a little bit of case this wasn't an open micro wedding i can pay it out no
no this cost a couple
of bucks yeah yeah it's nice there was grounds yes you were on the grounds for
the weekend you
didn't have to leave nowhere yeah it was a good time soup to nuts probably the
best wedding i've
ever been to really a hundred percent i mean it was multiple days yeah it was
nice man in the pool
was pretty good got in the pool i was proud of myself for that didn't i didn't
pull any punches
on that i jumped you know took the shirt right off i said look at world this is
me this is what's
going on yeah and i jumped the lifeguard harpooned you the janitor's throwing
kitty litter on vomit
fucking trying to spear you with a mop and i did make sure to stay in the in
the until the hot
chicks left yeah i stayed covered yeah and then i put my here's a fact i trick
for you put your shirt
down at the other end so you when you got to get out you get out away from
everybody you throw the
shirt on real quick also i mean and also you walk with the towel while you're
drying in front of you
it would do that oh sure i know that move big fan of that moves but also don't
try to say like
that's the gentleman's move that you put your stuff on the one side and get out
that side
no it's not the gentleman it's it's the fat piece of shit move but i mean it's
also the only
side you could get out of that pool oh i didn't know i was speaking in the
royal sense i apologize
because i i didn't realize i had a pool engineer those i gotta be honest those
ladders were a little
wonky even for me oh yeah and i i got out first i'm like there's no way you're
getting out this
side i had a tough time getting out of those when i was a kid that's one of the
reason why i can't
stand uh in ground pools because those ladders in the deep end not even a lot
you ever see the
how about the how about the kids that get pulled if you had to get out with no
ladder oh man you're
like a walrus coming on the boat man that's usually where most attacks occur
yeah right there when
you're getting out on the wall that's a bad was a bad look and this pool had
like a slope thing where
you couldn't get out that side yeah but i want to say you looked very you
looked great you dressed
apart you thought i did it nice you did it you did it i honestly think you did
it as well as you
could do sure you know i don't know that's giving your given your genetic shortcomings
also he had a nice blue suit on with a nice blue floral print but i gotta say
that material
if you had to come up with one word to describe the material of that shirt what
would you call it
because it wasn't cotton spacey oh my you couldn't like you couldn't set me on
fire if you wanted to
this i'm not it would it kept somebody said he looked like a wrestler in high
school trying to cut
weight because the material it was like plastic uh-huh it was like rubber it
was vinyl it was
walking around like grandma's couch stains fall fell right i was like having it's
like covering your
suit in rain x yeah it had a very shower curtain vibe to it yeah the inside one
not the cloth outside
of course no yeah no it was nice but you looked good you look good i've never
seen a suit that looked
too big and too small at the same time well the problem with the big guys is
there's a lot out
front it's a tough that's where you get but you look good you look pretty good
that was the first time
i felt good in a suit you were schvitzing oh oh dude pouring hey every two
steps this jesus christ
also there was like four different locations every time we had a movie got mad
i just cooled down
hanging over by the shrimp cost somebody give me some antifreeze um yeah i sat
right in front of the ac
when we got to when we got to the the after after party which i usually never
make it to sure and i was
telling um i was telling them that morning at brunch our good friends robbie
and casey who got married
i was telling them this is the first wedding where i was i wasn't too
embarrassed to go to the brunch
oh been that guy oh my god i i had to leave a family wedding which i won't say
which one protect
the innocent uh years ago because i had uh you know i had extracurricular i had
some extracurricular
some nose beers yeah were involved and um i got my hand on that remote in the
hotel room
yeah jacked up a pretty penny on adult uh cinema and i i bet the room wasn't in
your name the room was
not my name yeah yeah yeah you're not in you're not a room room in the name
kind of guy yeah well now i
am which is crazy that's another thing too sure now i am i wasn't a fucking go
get your own suit guy
you know what i mean yeah i shoes belt fucking nice nice suit spent a couple of
bucks also did it all
my stuff as nuts as it is we get there or whatever sunday and he's going i hope
these pants fit
you went up with a pair of pants you hadn't tried on blind to a wedding
fucking cowboy bro jesus dude talk about talk about a guy playing by his own
rules
what were you gonna do if they didn't fit you would have called shorts
fake the delta variant
towel in the front fake the stroke at the rehearsal dinner yeah
but no i had to check out pretty much like like six in the morning because
there was uh there's
about 350 dollars worth of uh jesus couldn't find your scene could you big guy
didn't find out what you were into
i think a little variety in the wee hours of the night i don't know what to
tell you
man that fast that fast forward but i was getting a workout
kids got the itch so it felt good to do that yeah i was in bed one o'clock
every night
woke up early felt good nice classy yeah nice conversation was involved a
little bit you know
i got a little bit of a stick and move yeah yeah you were a good hang we had a
lot of laughs together
me and you yeah yeah it was good it's good and even before that we had had that
we had had a
conversation about something and there was no fighting there was no that yes
that would have ruined
the weekend a couple of shit a couple weeks ago yeah you're maturing it's crazy
sure that
nutritionist really did something to me yeah i could tell by the fucking nine
pancakes you ate
yesterday at brunch i was at a wedding we're celebrating love here as you're
lucky we're
not weighing in today jesus christ you were taking syrups to go
you would not fit into those pants today bullshit i'll put that i'll tell you
what it made me want
to kind of get to a point where i could wear a suit all the time like oh
presidente i've never worn
a suit just in normal i don't have the body where you see me in a suit and you're
like oh maybe that
guy works somewhere wears i