Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Greg Stone - Bad Feet
Uploaded: 2021-09-09T02:29:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Greg Stone - Bad Feet' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Greg Stone - Bad Feet' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-09. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Greg Stone - Bad Feet

Hey, Texas, New York, Philadelphia, take the Jolly Ranchers out of your ears
and listen up, because the Keep It Moving Tour is coming your way.
Yeah, guys, it's a stand-up show, and then we play AYG with the audience.
It's a good time.
September 21st, we'll be in San Antonio.
September 22nd, we're going to be in Houston.
And September 23rd to the 25th, we're going to be in Austin
for the Moon Tower Comedy Festival.
Ever heard of it?
Yeah.
Then Dallas-Fort Worth on September 26th, and we're bringing it back up north,
baby.
September 30th, we're going to be in Long Island.
And then what are we doing?
We're going home for cheesesteaks.
Whiz wit, baby.
Cheesesteaks and vengeance.
October 27th, we're going to be at Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia.
Get those tickets.
They're going to move fast.
I'm telling you.
Yeah.
Do it.
Yeah.
Welcome to another exciting edition of R.U. Garbage, the show where you find
out if
your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is R.U. Garbage.
It's a little show.
We sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that if they grow up to
be classy
or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
That's right.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're down here at Aunt Tootie's basement.
Yeah.
There's one word on her mind.
It's eagles.
Eagles.
Excited.
She's trying out.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
You get to laugh, and you get out, kids.
That's two in a row.
That's two in a row you got me on.
Ladies and gentlemen, he is the CEO of R.U. Garbage.
He is an international businessman, and I'll tell you this right now.
He is not to be trifled with in a boardroom south of Dusseldorf.
Give it up for Kevin James Ryan.
Hey, gang.
Happy to be.
I got to give you.
That one got me, big man.
Someone said in the last time.
Found the sweet spot.
I've been going for haymakers.
I got a jab.
I got a jab.
That's exactly it.
That's exactly it.
Stick and move, baby.
Keep them quick.
These TikTokers don't got a fucking attention span.
You know what I mean?
I got to adjust my range.
Somebody in the comments goes,
Did Kippy just laugh at an Aunt Tootie joke?
What's up, gang?
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
But as you know, those numbers are...
True the roof.
True the fucking roof.
Just hit 25,000 over there on YouTube.
And then I would be remissed, an asshole, a jerk off, if I didn't bring up the
greatest
website in the history of man.
Shout out to Al Gore for inventing the fucking internet.
Patreon.com slash RU garbage.
That's cooking.
That's cooking.
Amen.
Sign up there.
You get bonus episodes of AYG, episodes of Hard Feelings, which is a completely
different
podcast.
Just me and Foley chopping it up a little bit behind the scenes, a little bit
of HR.
Oh, yeah.
A little bit of house cleaning.
And then live streams we do monthly with our top tier guests.
Get some fucking merch.
There's a couple of beer koozies left and a couple of card games left.
And then come see a fucking live show.
Yeah.
Come see a show.
We're having a nice shout out to our producer extraordinaire.
He's the magic man makes us all look good.
Who's that?
Give it up for the Astoria kid, T-Bone McMuffin.
Toby McMuffin.
What's up, dudes?
What up, T-Bone?
Dude, I'm just giggling thinking about Invincible with fucking Ant-Toon.
Ant-Toon.
She's lining up in the slot with a Newport house dress.
That's exactly what I think.
I pictured her getting fucking hung out to dry across the middle in a house
coat.
When I hit the slant, you hit me.
She's lighting another one with her old sing.
Gang, we could not be more excited to have our incredibly special guest back
with us again today.
One of our absolute favorite episodes.
You have to check him out.
He's super funny, super amazing.
We love him.
And he has an amazing new podcast called Friday Night Greg.
Do me a favor.
Give it up for the one, the only, Mr. Greg Stone.
Ladies and gentlemen.
God bless.
Fucking gabagool, huh?
He mad all with these guys.
About to be a new daddy.
Oh, very soon.
Coming soon.
Me moving to Mexico.
It's going to be great.
I can't wait.
Maybe it comes in October and I go to Mexico.
I'll be on the beach.
Coming from you from an undisclosed location.
I'll be on the beach having a good time.
Would you ever split town?
Would you bounce?
Ah, like the fun ideas, yes.
Right?
Of course, we're having fun here.
I freak.
I bounce.
I never see this kid again.
I got a mustache.
I cut my eye.
Wear an eye patch.
Do that.
But reality is, man, I want to be a dad.
I'm so excited.
That's awesome.
You're going to be one of the best guys ever and you're going to be a fantastic
dad.
Because I fucking dad you guys.
Every comedian I know, I'm like, hey, don't you doing all right?
Yeah, he dad you real hard.
He's good.
Which is endearing.
He showed up with G.I.
Joe's for Foley.
Yeah, he brought me a G.I.
Joe.
Sorry, I missed your birthday, kid.
He did good on his report.
Look at that.
A little something.
A little something.
You have no idea that the endorphins this triggered just when I see these
things.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's bad, though, because I'm such an action figure guy.
I mean, you're bonkos.
I'm not going that right.
I want to have a couple of guys to play with when I got an Eddie or two in me.
You know what I mean?
That's what I say.
That's what we all say.
We go, I just want one to put around as a thing.
Next thing you know, you are fighting people in the back stockroom of a target
going,
I know they're in here somewhere.
I street date my ass.
You're looking for a shredder in the middle of a fucking bunch of toasters.
We're the turtles, man.
We're the turtles, man.
Yeah.
I do think about that, though, as far as dads and stuff like that.
The Bill Burr joke is so perfect when he's like, I know guys would have left by
now.
Because I think about my dad when we were kids, shit that me and my brother,
like driving
them both insane on like a Sunday, like totally responsible for it.
Any punishment we got, we're deserving of it.
And like my dad, you could tell, just wanting to be like, fucking, my God, what
am I doing?
Yeah.
He's pulled out of the driveway a couple of times, too.
But then he comes back like an hour later.
Yeah.
My stepdad, he's a stepdad.
You know, he came in.
Oh, yeah.
That borderline abusive.
Stepdad.
I got one of them.
Like, what's this guy's commitment to my wife?
It's like to my mom or whatever.
My real dad, though, was like, you know, he show up on the weekends.
I'm like, how you doing, dad?
He's like, we're going to the Bronx Zoo.
And he was the best.
You know, got all the cool.
Weekend dads are good dads.
Weekend dad.
Rock and roll.
My mom.
Meanwhile, Rick's taking the brunt into your fucking.
He's doing the homework and shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
George was.
My stepdad, George, was like a psycho.
He was a cop.
He, dude, it's like.
Is he still in the picture?
Yeah.
Okay.
He's a maniac.
He's still.
You were saying was.
I wasn't sure of what happened.
He's still on the job is the question.
We don't need the Newark heat coming down on us.
Now, he like, we don't, he doesn't really talk.
He says, the only things he says is like, he'll do Jaws quotes.
Man, this guy, get this guy a cup of decaps.
I swear to God.
You just say, how you doing, George?
You go, think we're going to need a bigger boat.
And you're like, okay, man.
Like, he's kind of like Forrest Gump-y.
Hey, man, slip the game on, will you?
He never says anything about emotions.
This year, for the first time, we were leaving, and he just go, he'll just say
like, I am.
He says, I am Groot now.
He saw Guardians of the Galaxy.
He loved it.
So, he says, I am Groot.
And if you.
Yeah, no, go ahead.
I mean.
Get in there.
Get in there.
It's right for the bacon.
Is he legally allowed to be married?
I don't think so.
He's very, we say Forrest Gump-y.
This took a hard left.
Yeah.
My dad pulling out of the driveway.
Never in my life did he ever say anything like, I'm proud of you, or I love you.
Recently, we're sitting in the car.
He goes, see you later.
We are Groot.
And I just started bawling.
I was like, this is how he says I love you.
Sure.
This is how George says I love you.
He said, we are Groot.
Yeah.
Me and my wife are dying.
I'm crying.
She's laughing.
I'm like, he's never said it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And two high school football players showed up and beat us both up.
He has a real love mice and men vibe.
Yeah.
Dude, makes guns, my stepdad, in the basement.
I remember you telling us about this on the app.
Yeah.
Oh, I did?
I believe so.
Yeah.
No, I need a copy.
No, no, not at all.
I need a copy.
Jesus Christ.
That's a good piece of business.
I got Control X.
I didn't mean to shut it down.
I was just trying to connect with you, you psycho.
You know what I did?
I'm sorry.
No, you know, I got podcast bits.
You know, I come in, I go, I do this story, I do that story.
I'll plug my Patreon and then get the fuck out of here.
By the way, plug to Patreon right now.
Plug it.
Greg Stone Zone.
It's my Patreon.
The Greg Stone Zone.
Check it out.
Greg is so fucking funny.
If you like watching a guy high out of his mind saying a bunch of things and
whatever, it's
fun.
We do music.
We got music on the A2L.
It's fantastic.
Guys, go check out his Patreon.
It's awesome.
100%.
Oh, thanks, boys.
We love you.
That's so funny.
Is that it?
Are we out of gas?
I had a fun time.
Yeah, that's great.
This guy keeps you on your fucking toes.
I got to be honest with you.
Just took a breath for a second.
No, no.
We did zero to a hundred for the first four minutes.
Sorry.
Let me blink for a second, Greg.
I'm going to sip iced coffee like a gentleman.
You got to hit him and run, baby.
Oh, God.
That's George looking into the conversation right there.
It's good talking to him.
You just can't have a beat in the conversation.
Oh, that's so funny.
Yeah.
Gang, this is a family episode, so as you know, when you sign up, please.
You really did just hard reset that.
Well, it's 1222, and the weather is looking a little rainy out there.
Back to you, Rick.
Holy shit, dude.
Crazy guy Greg Stone's in the studio.
And we're back.
Greg, so we heard that you had a crazy time in a raincoat recently?
Well, I got to tell you, I was out in the rain, and where am I going to put my
monkeys?
I put them in the coat.
Now I'm in a coffee shop.
Monkeys are everywhere.
Anyway, man.
Back to you, Rick.
Oh, buddy, we got a hot one already, folks.
Somebody call the exterminator.
We got some giggles in here.
Why are you killing giggles?
Yeah, right?
Why do you want to get in there murdering giggles?
Oh, boy.
Fucking fun stopper over here.
All right.
Let's get to some fucking questions here.
Yeah, but as Reed just said earlier, it is a—I don't know.
Yes.
Whatever.
It is a family episode.
With a little company.
A little company.
That's right.
It's a family episode.
I got corporate all over us.
I'm going to have to fucking break out the flow chart for this one.
We have a little bit of company, so we're going to answer your Patreon
questions.
As you know, when you sign up for the Patreon, we'll answer your question on
the air.
And we got some fucking heaters.
And we're going to get to everybody.
There's a backlog.
We will get to everybody.
I promise.
It's just—we got to—you know, not every question is right for every guest,
by the way.
100%.
You know, I got to tailor them a little bit.
Yeah.
Your next question is, what's it like growing up black and doing it?
I guess I got to get this one, huh?
Well, some people are like, you ever shit your pants in second grade, and then
Sally makes
funny, and you got a huge crush on her, and then you can't get a boner ever
again?
I'm like, that's a little too specific, guy.
I sent that one in.
All right, this one's from Tori.
This is a home run right off the b