Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Emma Willman - Dome Person
Uploaded: 2021-09-23T03:17:17.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Emma Willman - Dome Person' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Emma Willman - Dome Person' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-23. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Emma Willman - Dome Person

Hey, Texas, New York, Philadelphia, take the Jolly Ranchers out of your ears
and listen
up because the Keep It Movin' Tour is coming your way.
Yeah, guys, it's a stand-up show, and then we play AYG with the audience.
It's a good time.
September 22nd, we're going to be in Houston.
And September 23rd to the 25th, we're going to be in Austin for the Moon Tower
Comedy
Festival.
Ever heard of it?
Yeah.
Then Dallas-Fort Worth on September 26th, and we're bringing it back up, North
Baby.
September 30th, we're going to be in Long Island.
Mm-hmm.
And then, what are we doing?
We're going home for cheesesteaks.
Whiz wit, baby.
Cheesesteaks and vengeance.
October 27th, we're going to be at Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia.
Get those tickets.
They're going to move fast.
I'm telling you.
Yeah.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute
trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there.
And welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Sure is.
Little show.
We sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find out if they go out to be
classy
or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
Oh, yeah.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day down here at Anthony's
Basement.
Mm-hmm.
All is quiet.
She's down at Casino there.
Not in Vegas or the shore.
Pennsylvania Casino.
Yeah.
She likes the slots.
Sure.
Who doesn't?
I think she's mixing and mingling with one of the security guards over there.
Ah, she's got the hots for a guy on the floor.
Yep, so if you see one of those metal detector wands on the kitchen table, do
not be alarmed.
Don't go upstairs.
Don't go upstairs.
No.
If you see the room rocking, don't come knocking.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He is the COO of Are You Garbage?
He's the fall guy, basically, when the feds come knocking on you.
Straw man, baby.
Give it up for Kevin, James, Ryan, everybody.
Hey, gang.
Happy to be here.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
And as you know, those numbers are...
True to roof.
True to the fucking roof, baby.
It's cooking.
And then I would be, like I've said many times, I'd be a fucking jerk off if I
didn't bring
up the greatest website of all time.
www.patreon.com.
Cheers.
Salute to you and your family.
www.patreon.com.
Slash are you garbage?
Check it out.
Get a shit ton of bonus content.
AYG.
Oh, yeah.
Hard feelings.
Live stream.
You know the fucking deal.
Why am I telling you?
Go check it out.
You love it.
We love it.
Thank you guys so much.
How about a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire, the magic man
makes
us all look good.
Give it up for T-Bone McMuffin, Mr. Tobey McMuffin.
What's up, dudes?
What up, T-Bone?
Ooh, a rare H-Foley stumble on the intro.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
I'm human after all, ladies and gentlemen.
You know what I mean?
I'm not Superman, although we do have the same body type.
Anyway, gang, we could not be more excited.
He's fatter than a speeding bullet.
I'm fatter than an apartment building.
Able to eat whole sandwiches in a single bite.
Gang, that's neither here nor there.
Don't listen to these bozos.
We got some star power in the fucking house today.
We could not be more excited to have our incredibly special guest.
Old pal.
Here with us today for the first time.
She is a very funny stand-up comedian, actor, and podcaster.
You have seen her on The Good Fight, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Viral Beauty,
Clash Crashing, Two Girls, One Show, My Crazy Love,
Deadly Affairs, Uproarious at Midnight, Night Train with Wyatt Scenic,
The Mystery Hour, This Week at the Comedy Cellar,
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.
Ever heard of it?
I have.
CBS, we're talking network here, baby.
Hasan Minhaj, adult boy.
Of course, you've seen her on the comedy lineup on Netflix,
and she has an amazing podcast called Inside the Closet,
that you've got to check out.
But the big question in everybody's mind today,
is she garbage?
Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever,
we have a guest that is missing a tooth.
That's how we're doing it.
I didn't notice.
Maybe Stavros.
Maybe Stavi was missing his tooth when he was on the pod.
I knocked it out.
Emma Woman, everybody.
Thank you.
I knocked it out just for the show.
I wanted to.
I was trying to get booked.
I'm like, who do I got to punch around here to get on?
Are you garbage?
It's a method actor.
Trying to get the high score.
I didn't know that.
I thought that he just had a space in his teeth.
I didn't know he was missing a tooth.
Am I an idiot?
Oh, no.
He's been missing.
Stavi's been missing a tooth for quite a long time.
Okay, I guess I didn't clock it.
He's got the fake one that he puts in.
Okay, there we go.
Like on a retainer or whatever.
I want to say, as a friend of yours, to defend you,
ladies and gentlemen, normally she's not missing a tooth, obviously.
She's very well put together, takes care of herself.
She works out all the time.
But right now, she's in the middle of a little dental snafu.
A little dental snafu.
It's going to be strike number one, unfortunately.
And also, so I had the temporary tooth that he had.
Yeah.
And when I got, when I had the first, when it first got,
like they knew that I wasn't going to be without tooth.
Is that what they say?
Without tooth?
That's not what they say.
What was it?
Because I remember you, you went, you got veneers.
I had veneers six years ago.
I got veneers at a place called Harlem Dental.
And the place was great.
People are like, did you get bad veneers?
No, the place was great.
He did let me pay cash and come in at weird hours
and got a steep discount.
So maybe, I don't know.
So I got, I got the veneers there,
but they started popping out this summer.
And then, do you still have them?
Are they in right now?
So the ones that popped out, they reapplied.
But what happened with this, the one that's missing,
the tooth under it broke.
And I went into the dentist and they're like,
did you have blunt force trauma to your face?
And I was like, what the fuck is that?
You get hit with a baseball bat anytime?
Is everything okay?
Miss woman, do you owe anybody money currently?
Yeah.
And I was like, I didn't.
And then I remembered that I actually had punched myself in the face
doing a boxing class.
And so the nurse left and I was like, hey.
How do you punch yourself in the face in a boxing class?
I was doing this move where you like warm up like this.
And I remember just kind of looking over at the instructor
and I popped myself in the face.
Jesus.
I'm doing the Oscar De La Hoya.
Yeah.
You should see the other guy.
But so I did that, broke the tooth.
Then they gave me a temporary one like he had and I lost it twice.
Like a temporary cover?
One to pop in and I lost it twice.
So I'm so mad at myself and it's so, I was so.
Where are you, where are you taking the tooth out that you lose it?
Man.
Because the only correct answer is you take it out maybe when you brush your
teeth or something.
Yeah, that you would think.
That was the plan.
So the tooth's not coming back.
The tooth is completely gone.
The tooth's done.
Does it look like it's coming back?
It'll be back fully any day now.
That's every night I go to bed, please.
Hey, Emma, keep drinking your milk.
Maybe that tooth's going to show up again.
Well, the good news is with my baby tooth.
It's not working.
I'm going to get a dental implant, but then the tooth got infected and it was
just like
this whole thing.
But where I lost it was I had been in Boston and I had, I said, I'm not going
to lose this
fucking tooth when I travel.
So I put it in a special place and then I went and put the bag, this bag down.
Altoids box?
Yeah.
Pretty much.
Actually, it was pretty much an Altoids box.
It was like a dip container.
It was, I put it in, I put it in, I might've actually been an Altoids box.
It was in a, and then I put it in my bathroom bag and then I put that bag down
and never
found it again.
Good Lord.
I know.
I'm so angry at myself.
And you just don't want to spring for another one.
The thing is, is, so I am going to, because I was like, this is too much.
Because I was getting, it was making me depressed.
Sure.
So not, not missing the tooth.
What was making me depressed was it was so hard to get an appointment with the
dentist
I was going to.
And I kept getting infected.
Turns out there was too much bone in the bone graph.
So you're no, you're, you're in nowhere near.
That's where they dropped.
That's where they dropped out.
I lost a tooth.
I got a bad grab.
You got a bad grab.
Do you got, how's your, I got a bad grab.
Extra bone.
Yeah.
Isn't that gross?
And they were charging, they charge you for the bone.
That's why.
Charge a per ounce.
It's like gold.
It's, it's cadaver bone.
They put, and I didn't know that.
Wait, what?
I didn't know that either.
I thought it was your bone.
They take it from.
No.
I didn't ask, I'm an idiot.
I didn't ask any questions.
So you got dead guy bone on you?
Apparently.
Ooh.
I hope it's a human.
Could be a dog.
I don't know.
I don't know what's in there.
I didn't, this is my problem.
What the fuck?
I'm going to start.
He's back as a fang.
I'll take anything at this point, to be honest, but I didn't ask any questions.
Do you have any memories of the person bone that's, that's in there?
It was Foley.
No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You got a hankering for cheeseburgers.
Somebody from the 40s or something like that.
That's fucking nuts.
So you're nowhere near getting, you're nowhere to the point of healing where
they can put the,
because they have to put a rod in.
They got to put a rod in.
Luckily, they put too much bone in, but the other bone's not infected.
So I found a really good dentist yesterday.
Actually, no, yeah, yesterday, and he's going to do it in two months.
So I'm in the home stretch, and I'm going to get a temporary tooth in one week.
And what are they doing for the infection?
Is it all cleared up?
Contagious.
You're going to have to burn that microphone.
Yeah, yeah.
It's cleared up, but it was just making, I was on really strong antibiotics.
Have you guys had dental problems before?
Not like that.
No, I've never had a cavity.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Have you?
You're missing a couple.
Oh, I'm missing teeth.
Yeah, but I never had the bone graft or anything.
I was pulling.
Yeah, well, you never fixed it.
No, yeah, it was pull it and quit it.
That was it for me.
Where are they?
No front teeth, though.
They're right here.
Whoa!
He's lucky.
He's got a lot of cheek that covers it.
Yeah.
That helps.
But when he smiles, I, from this angle, it's like the fucking Holland Tunnel.
What happened is they were too bad.
I never noticed it.
I've never noticed it.
No, you can't really see it unless I do that.
But two bad root canals, but the story I tell people, so guys, don't say
nothing.
Is this the exclusive?
It's the exclusive.
I think I might have mentioned it on the podcast before, maybe on the old
Patreon, but now I'm
letting it out now.
So everybody keep their mouth shut.
I tell people I got hit with a lacrosse ball.
Okay.
And that the teeth just eventually went bad and fell out.
Yeah, but what really happened?
I just had bad shoddy dental work.
Yeah, he's a dirt ball.
What the fuck?
Why a lacrosse ball?
I don't know.
But to make them sound cool.
I get it.
Maybe I should do that.
What could I say?
I'd be like, I was saving somebody.
You were saving somebody.
Yeah.
It was the hurricane.
You pulled somebody out of a flooding subway car.
Get over here.
Yes.
And I had to pull them up, and they bopped me in the mouth.
And when you pulled them up, a little piece of their bone jumped into your
mouth and got
infected.
That motherfucker.
There you go.
I still think you could say the boxing.
Just don't say you punched yourself.
Yeah, don't say you punched yourself.
I'm an av