Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Mike Vecchione Returns!
Uploaded: 2021-09-27T13:01:46.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Mike Vecchione Returns!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Mike Vecchione Returns!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-27. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Mike Vecchione Returns!

Hey, Texas, New York, Philadelphia, take the Jolly Ranchers out of your ears
and listen up, because the Keep It Moving Tour is coming your way.
Yeah, guys, it's a stand-up show, and then we play AYG with the audience.
It's a good time.
September 30th, we're going to be in Long Island.
And then, what are we doing?
We're going home for cheesesteaks.
Whiz wit, baby.
Cheesesteaks and vengeance.
October 27th, we're going to be at Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia.
Get those tickets.
They're going to move fast.
I'm telling you.
Yeah.
Do it.
Yeah.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
It's a little show.
We sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find out if they grow it to be
classy.
Yeah.
Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day down here in Tootie's
basement.
She's very excited to have our guest back with us today.
Said she was in the audience of a Tony and Tina's wedding.
Back in the day.
Years ago.
South Jersey.
Good-looking guy in the cast.
They went out and had a drink.
Sparks flew.
It could be a misconnection.
I don't know.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He's an international businessman.
He did his first hostile takeover at the age of nine.
So do me a favor.
Show him a little respect and give it up for Kevin James Ryan.
Hey, gang.
Happy to be here.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes.
Full of the video available on YouTube.
And as you know, those numbers are...
When you point, I talk?
Yeah.
True to roof.
True to fucking roof.
YouTube's cooking.
And then, obviously, patreon.com slash are you garbage?
The greatest website ever made.
You can sign up.
You get bonus content.
Episodes of Hard Feelings.
Live streams.
The whole fucking nine yards.
Get involved, people.
And how about a nice quick shout-out to our producer extraordinaire,
the magic man he makes us all look good.
First bunt of the night right there.
Give it up for T-Bone McMuffin.
Toby McMullen, everybody.
What up?
It's from Moneyball.
When you point to me...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I've seen the film.
Okay, I'm sorry.
Gang, we could not be more excited to have our incredibly special guest
back with us again today.
He is a very funny stand-up comedian, podcaster, and actor.
He has a brand new podcast coming out called Macaroni Rascals
with our good pal Greg Stone.
And he is going to be filming a brand new hour October 23rd
at Governors in Long Island.
Do us a favor.
Give it up for the one, the only, Mr. Mike Vecchione.
Yeah.
Thank you guys for having me back.
Of course, buddy.
Of course, buddy.
Thank you for coming.
It's great.
Happy to have you.
It's great to be here.
And I'll tell you what.
I didn't shower.
No?
Before this.
No, I had the opportunity.
Because are you garbage?
You're just coming in.
I came in as garbage.
I want to come in as garbage and work my way to a civilian.
Have you worked out today?
No.
You haven't?
Uh-uh.
Because you, to me, seem like an up at dawn going for a run guy.
I used to see you running around Astoria.
Yes.
I used to, I would live in Astoria and he would be fucking in.
He'd be looking like he's trying to make weight for the match this weekend.
That's what I'm saying, man.
Yeah.
I feel like you're up at five, cold shower, cold coffee.
Black coffee.
Well, this is, uh, I'm not up at five.
I'm still a comic.
So, um, but I moved.
You guys both know I moved.
Sure.
Yes.
So I moved into the city.
Oh, I didn't know you were in the city.
Yeah.
You're a city guy now.
Becky Hood's a city guy now.
I'm a city guy now.
Look at him.
So if I talk down to you guys, that's what it's about.
Bridge and tunnel moving up, baby.
Brunch every day, baby.
You know, you burrow guys.
Hey, I live on the island too.
Okay.
Oh, do you?
Yeah.
All the way uptown in the nosebleeds, but I'm on it.
All right.
Well, I'll give you a little bit more leeway.
But fully, I'm sorry.
I'm going to have to.
We cannot hang out and get a glass of wine together, unfortunately.
We're not going to do brunch.
So I move into this new neighborhood and it's a choice between I have a gym
options because I realized,
I was like, oh, maybe I could just work out at home.
But during the pandemic, I realized, oh, that's not a thing.
Yeah.
Like, that's not really going to be possible.
So Planet Fitness, I don't know who sponsors you guys, so I'm sorry if I'm just
bleeped this out.
Planet Fitness, which is like you can use every Planet Fitness in the country
for $3 a month.
Sure.
And then there's Equinox, which is very expensive.
What's that going?
Like $200 a month?
What is that?
It's $235.
$235.
He knows because he's in.
He's in.
$235 a month.
Because are you there?
I'm trying to make the decision.
And I said, you know, invest in yourself.
A Manhattan living Equinox guy?
Somebody successful tweeted that.
Invest in yourself.
Sure.
And so I decided to pull the trigger on it.
Oh, my God.
Holy shit.
I thought I knew you.
I thought I smelled a little self-tanner on you.
I got a bronzer on the kids.
Well, it's the frequency.
It's probably from the steam room.
Yeah.
Have you been in the eucalyptus room for a little while?
Yeah, the eucalyptus.
Have an espresso in the eucalyptus room?
Wow.
I have an espresso in the steam room.
They have an espresso in the steam room, actually.
I don't think any of our guests have ever belonged to Equinox.
Of course they didn't.
They're trash, people.
They're garbage.
And I'm talking to you.
You're a garbage person.
Wow.
Doesn't that come with your own Peloton that you just take home with you?
You throw out every night?
Pelotons kill children.
But I think it's worth it.
I did a whole thing on my podcast where, you know, the Peloton gets a bad rap
because
it goes after your, you know, tries to kill your family.
But it strengthens you.
Like, if your machine tries to kill you and then you go out in the world, what
could hurt you?
Wait, is it killing people?
I don't know the story.
It is killing people.
Look at the news once in a while, Kevin.
Jesus.
You got to tune in, Kevin.
I mean, how far uptown do you live?
All the way.
All the way uptown.
As high as it goes.
I went and I pulled the trigger on it.
And now I've been, now it's this weird thing where it's like, I have to go to
the gym.
I have to go every day.
You have to.
I go every day to either, even if I'm not like today, I'm not going to really
work out.
I'll stretch steam and shower because I have to use the facility.
Wow.
And I signed up for a class yesterday.
That's about 10 bucks a day or something.
Or it's like eight bucks a day it comes out to.
You'd be missing out.
Yes.
Wow.
Well, I, and they have all these classes.
The real reason is like, okay, well, probably wouldn't be worth it unless you
have access
to all the classes, yoga, all kinds of fitness classes.
And they're free.
You got all that stuff?
They're free.
You just have to sign up.
You have to get a spot in them.
Yeah.
You have to get a spot.
So I got a spot and now I'm just signing up for classes.
I don't even know what they are.
I just went yesterday and then this guy, it was like a Metacon.
I was like a Metcon.
I don't know what this is, but I was like, I'm almost, I'm going to make it.
So I went and I signed up and then it was crazy hard.
And I'm in decent shape now.
You're in great shape.
I'm fasting and I've lost weight and all that stuff.
So I'm in pretty good shape now.
Ninja training.
How hard could that be?
I'll grab a protein bar and a smoothie.
I'll be in a minute, guys.
It's basically what it was.
And I was like, I was blown away afterwards.
And I was like, I went right through the instructor.
I'm like, look, it's my first time.
He's like, weights, this, that, over there.
And we did, it was an aerobic weight workout.
And I am a mess today.
Really?
I walked over here to kind of stretch out from my place.
That's, yeah.
I like the fucking going in, taking a schvitz, doing the tanner and bouncing
out of there.
I get that.
I heard the facilities are really nice.
Showers, the whole nine yards.
It's really nice.
And then there's a lobby also where, not a lobby, a lounge where.
It's a bottle service.
You know what I mean?
Who's DJing tonight?
DJ Sweet Greens or something.
It's a lounge where I can write or whatever afterwards also.
So I just got to put earphones in because the music is pretty.
Now, listen, you're rubbing elbows with the Manhattan elite now.
You're an equinox.
Well, I'll tell you who goes there.
Who?
You want to know who goes there?
It kind of surprised me.
It's, did you ever see that Duke lacrosse documentary, 30 for 30?
Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.
About that one, about the Duke.
Like, they were kind of faceless to me.
I know that they got wrongly accused.
They got railroaded, yeah.
Yeah, railroaded.
But I watched the 30 for 30, and I'm looking at the guys on the team.
And they're, like, elite-level athletes and elite-level intellects.
You know what I mean?
Like, I never, I just, you know, I never got into that.
I wasn't that elite of an athlete or elite of an intellect.
So I wouldn't have got in there.
But that's who is at this place.
A lot of confidence over here.
Now I'm letting you know I'm being honest about who I am.
Thanks for clearing that up, buddy.
We really thought you were Blue Devil's material.
I pegged you for an astronaut, to be honest with you.
This is going to shock you guys, but I'm mostly blue-collar.
Oh, really?
I mean, I did.
Yeah.
I thought you got the Tony and Tina scholarship.
The Tony and Tina scholarship, yes.
But that's who is there.
Duke, like, Duke, Harvard.
Like, those type of guys who are, like, finance guys and stuff.
Yes, it's the elite.
It's the elite.
It's, like, the social, it's the gym social club for people in Manhattan.
Right.
And now, also, too, I think with those, like, fancy things that they have,
we were talking about this with country clubs the other day.
Because my brother joined a country club, and then, like,
we were all there in the pool hanging out,
and, like, they're all so rich they don't use the pool.
Like, because they all have their own pools and stuff.
Oh, wow.
So, it's like, we're garbage, like, we were, like, the garbage family there.
You guys have a raft in there.
Yeah, exactly.
I'm doing can openers and stuff.
Brought our own grill.
Do you, do you, are other people using the lounge and stuff like that,
or are you the only guy in the lounge?
No, there's a couple people, but it's not that full.
Okay.
The lounge isn't that full, but it gets...
Mike's got an arm full of fucking cliff bars.
Has anybody asked you for your ID yet?
Why have you been there?
Sir, would you excuse me?
Um, no.
No one has asked me for my ID yet.
I guess there are guys.
I guess I do.
Sir, you're a member here, right?
Sir, what are you...
Hey, buddy, the HVAC is downstairs, huh?
Hey, why's that janitor writing jokes?
Has anyone thrown you any used towels?
That's pretty funny.
That's pretty funny.
Thank you.
Um, I think what Kippy's saying is, like, do the real, real rich not even go in
and use
the eucalyptus this thing?
No, I'll tell you what the real rich do that I really like a lot.
No one talks.
I love that.
No one talks.
There's a sign in the locker room that says, feeling chatty?
On your...
Take your phone.
Take it outside.
You're also no selfies in the mirror, like, there's a sign that says no selfies
in the...
Yeah, it might be only the women's locker room.
I don't know, but...
I don't know, but that...
That's where I change.
I like the fact that there's no talking, but everybody's civil.
If you need to, like, get around, like, whatever, even on the gym floor, it's
like, hey, there's
not a lot of talking.
And, uh, 