Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Bootleg Raybans w/ Kippy & Foley
Uploaded: 2021-09-30T01:03:44.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Bootleg Raybans w/ Kippy & Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Bootleg Raybans w/ Kippy & Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-30. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Bootleg Raybans w/ Kippy & Foley

New York, Philadelphia, take the Jolly Ranchers out of your ears
and listen up because the Keep It Moving Tour is coming your way.
Yeah, guys, it's a stand-up show, and then we play AYG with the audience.
It's a good time.
September 30th, we're going to be in Long Island.
And then what are we doing?
We're going home for cheesesteaks.
Whiz wit, baby.
Cheesesteaks and vengeance.
October 27th, we're going to be at Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia.
Get those tickets.
They're going to move fast.
I'm telling you.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there.
And welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
It's a little show.
We sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find out they grow up to be
classy.
Yeah.
Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
Oh, boy.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a glorious day.
We're down here in Aunt Tootie's basement.
Was upstairs with her.
We had a big breakfast together.
Had a Bernie outside.
A Bernie?
A Bernie?
Good.
Yep.
Frozen pizza.
No big deal.
My co-host is coming at you from across the table, mocking me.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He's an international businessman.
He's got a brand new book out right now called Keep It Moving, The Secret to
Success by Kevin
James Ryan.
Touring around accredited universities.
Sure.
All over the country.
Give it up for my best pal, Kevin James Ryan.
Hey, gang.
Happy to be here.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, a little bit of business.
Please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes.
Do it.
Full video available on YouTube.
And as you know, those numbers are...
True the roof.
True the fucking roof.
And then, of course, I'm contractually obligated to say go to www.patreon.com
slash RU Garbage for the best Patreon content in the biz.
I'm going toe-to-toe with anybody.
Praise the Lord.
Who wants it?
Patreon.com.
Amen.
I can see the light, baby.
And how about a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire, the magic
man
makes us all look good.
The very funny, Mr. T-Bone McMuffin, Toby McMullen.
What up, dudes?
Hey, buddy.
What up, T-Bone?
I'm surprised Kibbe's making eye contact now that he went all Hollywood on us.
We got Hollywood Kip over there.
Kid's doing all right.
Doing all right.
A couple of deals with some guys on the coast.
He's making it happen.
I like that true-to-roof, by the way.
Thank you.
I like that standard true-to-roof.
Beautiful when you do it like that.
I love it.
You don't want him making any choices, do you?
Go and stay on script.
All right, T-Bone?
He's made that very clear.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
You have the one weird one.
True-to-roof.
Something like that, right?
Oh, I like a true-to-roof.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, man.
We're going to have to cut that.
Save that for the director's cut, will you?
That's the Snyder cut over there.
It's a shout-out to Belly.
Gang, it is a family episode.
It's just us.
Haven't done one of these in a couple of minutes.
It's nice to do a little house cleaning, clear out, get your head straight,
hang out as a family.
Yeah.
It's important to spend time as a family.
You got to do it.
It's like Sunday night dinner.
Oh, I'm a big, big Sunday night dinner guy.
Didn't matter where the Foley's were.
Could be scowling around in the four corners of the county.
Come 5 o'clock Sunday.
Back, locked and loaded.
Come running.
Crescent rolls in the oven.
Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Were they?
I remember when I got old enough to pop that.
Oh, big shot.
I thought I felt like a construction worker.
Pop!
Snapping claymores in the jungle.
Those things are awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah, Sunday dinner, man, in the fall.
They start cooking around like 2.
Our usual routine on Sundays was pretty tight, pretty cozy.
Yeah.
Get up, go to mass, start a fight, argue in the car, come back, big breakfast,
little stooges,
chill for a little bit, maybe some leaves, some lawn, this and that.
Some leaves?
Raking some leaves.
Okay.
Doing some yard work.
You don't strike me as a yard work kid.
Dude, I've been cutting the grass since I was maybe 10 years old.
That wasn't all handled by people?
No, no, no, no.
We had like an OG.
At my mom's, we had like an OG.
You got to think, between my mom and my dad's house and my mom's house, they're
both blue
collar.
My stepdad was a construction worker.
My dad was a pipe fitter.
He didn't have nobody cutting the lawn over there?
Who?
Your pop.
My, no, my dad, I had to do the hand, the push mower at fucking 10, dude, train.
You're doing two lawns?
Two lawns, weekly, since 10.
Jesus.
Yeah.
Like Salvitro in Sopranos.
He jumped out of a tree with a chainsaw.
I got to the right to defend myself, T.
Yeah, dude, the push mower fucking sucks.
But it's nice.
It's nice on the front, man.
Not as a 10-year-old when everybody's riding bikes and fucking playing in a
fire hydrant.
I'm serious to take.
Where'd you grow up?
Brighton Beach?
What are you talking about?
I was in Flatbush.
Everybody's on the boards eating water ice.
What are you talking about?
It's a picture I was trying to paint.
Everybody's down there at the swimming hole.
That's a tough look.
If you're opening a fire hydrant in the suburbs, man.
No, no, no, no, no.
That gets shut down real quick.
No, but that fucking sucks.
Dude, my dad was so fucking OCD.
It's where I get it.
Like, dude, if it was like, if you got off, you had to be, like, parallel.
And if you got off a little bit, you heard it.
What the fuck?
Front yard looks like fucking, you know, blind guy or whatever.
Like a racetrack out there?
Oh, dude, I was getting my fucking balls broken.
I apologize then.
So, you know, yeah, fucking do a little yard work.
Do this.
Do that.
Nice meal.
I don't know what picture you think you have of me that I was in some ivory
tower.
I could just see you not doing that stuff.
I would assume that there was, you know, systems in place.
No.
You know, I like that.
I like a kid that gets his hands dirty.
You act like we've never met before.
What are you fucking talking about?
I know you worked with your dad and you've done blue collar things, but I
figured that
your mom would have a landscaper from Jump Street.
No, no, no.
Never.
That's the shit they didn't spend money on.
That was like, why would I pay somebody 30 bucks?
You got this big head of kid.
I got this fucking idiot.
Dude, I would have asthma attacks every time, too.
I used to be on the tractor with a fucking nebulizer just fucking cooking.
I need a treatment.
It was bad, dude.
Real tough guy, huh?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All that fucking.
Getting Narcaned, cutting the grass.
Jesus Christ.
All that fucking pollen and dander.
Reminded me of that video of the reporter with a bug flies in his mouth down
there in like
Mobile Island.
We're down here.
Dang, country.
I think I'm being fucked up about it.
Holy shit.
That's unbelievable.
That's what it felt.
Dude, I would break out an asthma attack almost every time.
The birds would fucking dive bomb the barn.
So that's where my fear of birds comes from.
They didn't like me at my mom's house.
Yeah, it was a fucking scene, daddy-o.
Chased by swallows.
Probably a barn.
So they would fucking dive bomb you.
I know one kid that I'd be pretty hard pressed if he cut the grass.
Who?
How long hair.
He doesn't even shave his pubes, this guy.
He ain't doing the lawn.
I assume you didn't have to do any of that stuff when you were a kid.
Oh, yeah.
I did that shit.
When you were home, were you cutting the grass when you were homeschooled?
Like just like during the middle of the week like a retiree?
He's out there with a sweet tea.
He's got his socks pulled up real high.
Got to pick up the grandkids in an hour.
So the best thing about cutting the grass was, cutting the grass was big in the
sense that
if you let it go too long.
This was as a teenager, right?
As a teenager, everybody's out hanging.
Those like you, you have the car, you're driving around, but you always had
that and you would
always push it like, oh, I'll do it tomorrow.
I'll do it the next or whatever.
And then somebody's like, oh, we're all having a pool party over here.
And like, you keep pushing it down and then it gets too long.
And then if it gets too long, you got to pick it up.
To bag it.
You got to bag it.
And those fucking bags on those push mowers, you get about three blades of
grass in them.
Oh, well, my dad's, I always had a bag.
He was, that was, but I'm talking about my mom's.
It was, cause I, I could push her.
Sometimes I would just do the front to keep up appearances in the neighborhood.
At least she'd be like, she'd be leaving for work.
At least do the front, you fucking fat piece of shit.
She's like, I got, I got the Johnsons looking at us like, we're fucking poor
over here.
Dropping the property value.
Yeah.
So it was like, at least do the front.
But then it was, you get out with the fucking rake.
If you had to rake it, right.
Get out with the fucking, do the whole fucking night.
Oh, hold on.
And that added three hours.
Hold on a second.
No bag on the mower.
You're just blown and getting it into a circle and then raking up and putting
it in fucking
inside trash bags.
That shit was fucking brutal.
Those brown paper bags.
Oh my God.
Those things.
That wouldn't stay open.
Yeah.
Like fucking school lunch.
Those Johns, you know, with their fucking.
You drop one thing and it looks like a fucking bank.
It looks like money.
Yeah.
The rake would always rip the bag and shit.
Yeah.
Man, we had, we had poor lawn care equipment that we made do with.
That's what I'm saying.
For so long.
Well, and then at one point we got.
Rakes missing fucking bristles and shit.
Especially my stepdad.
We're not buy new stuff kind of people.
They're not.
It's like, hey, my dad got something new.
We got the one from the 80.
Like he would be like, oh, my dad got this or my brother got or something.
We just cleaned out my parents' garage.
There's a fucking level in there that they must have used for the fucking
Empire State.
It's got to be made of pure lead.
It says Noah on it.
Boncos.
All right.
But while I wanted to say one, we got the sweeper.
He came home with the sweeper one time that you would hook up to the back and
it would and throw it in the.
So you're driving with like a trailer on, like a little hitch.
Oh, you got that.
And it fucking brushed it up into the thing.
Oh, you got a rope.
You dump that and fucking keep fucking cooking.
But you're playing with your Tonka trucks as a kid.
I felt real official with that fucking thing.
You know, it was the most legit thing.
Do you remember?
They had the little bulldozer at playgrounds.
Sometimes it had a little scoop on it.
You can sit on it and pull the shit out.
A digger.
Oh, that blew my mind.
That was like great adventure.
That was like going to fucking Disney World to me, getting on that thing.
A couple hours on the Bobcat.
Clear my head a little bit.
Oh.
All right.
Yeah.
It's a family episode.
Family.
It's about the family.
Yeah.
As you know, you sign up for Patreon.
Mm-hmm.
All right.
We're going to be answering your questions.
Mm-hmm.
We're going to be doing that right here before we get started.
Nice quick shout out.
Send some love.
Mm-hmm.
Jace out there in Wisconsin.
Jace and a family in Wisconsin.
Shout out to you.
To him.
Yeah.
Let's see here.
This is a perfect one.
Perfect, perfect, perfect transition.
This is from Suds.
As you guys know, did you say?
That's how we do it.
We do it pretty good.
As you know, when you joined the Patreon, did you run through that yet already?
I just did it, yeah.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Sign up for the Patreon.
We answer one of your questions on the air.
Bit of a backlog, as Kippy says.
I'm turning into a company man over here.
We're pretty caught up at this point.
We're pretty good.
We're pretty good.
We're not too far behind.
Ever since I got on the team.
Yeah.
A