Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Jim Norton - New Jersey's Finest
Uploaded: 2021-10-13T23:36:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Jim Norton - New Jersey's Finest' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Jim Norton - New Jersey's Finest' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-13. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Jim Norton - New Jersey's Finest

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania!
New York City, New York!
Kippy and Uncle Hank are coming home to roost, baby!
October 27th, Helium Comedy Club, Philly, Pennsylvania, come and see us!
And then for the New York Comedy Festival, we're gonna be at Gotham Comedy Club
on November 9th.
These shows are gonna sell out.
Get your tickies!
Gah!
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Sure is.
It's a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out if
they're going to be classy
or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're down here at Anthony's basement.
She's upstairs.
She's all swole up, all sore.
Milk crate challenge.
I told her it's over.
She got hurt.
She says she can bring it back on TikTok.
Okay.
So we'll see.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
He's the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He's an international businessman.
I'll tell you that right now.
He's not to be trifled with in the boardroom, especially before he's had his
coffee and his Danish.
Give it up for Kevin, James, Ryan, everybody.
Hey, gang.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes.
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Through the fucking roof, baby.
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Check it out.
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We love you.
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And how about a quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire, the magic man.
He makes us all look good.
Give it up for T-Bone McMuffin.
It's Toby McMullen.
What's up, dudes?
What's up, T-Bone?
Good to see you, buddy.
We got together over the last week.
We had lunch.
Oh, great.
We hung out.
We had a nice time.
Treated none of that shit.
Stayed clear of him.
But, gang, that is neither here nor there.
We got a hot one.
Because we could not be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean
incredibly special guest here with us today.
Not the usual bums and bozos.
We've said that before.
You see walking around here.
All right.
This man is a legendary stand-up comedian, podcaster, radio personality, and
actor.
He has quite a few credits.
We're going to go through a few of them.
We're going to start off with Ed, The Colin Quinn Show, Spider-Man, Lucky Louie,
13 episodes, Grand Theft Auto 4, Zack and Mary make a porno, Cop Out, Furry Vengeance,
Bored to Death, Top 5, Deadbeat, Louie, 10 episodes, Benders, The Nick, Inside
Amy Schumer, The Jim Gaffigan Show, The Comedian, Nightcap, Crashing, Power,
The Irishman, Martin Scorsese.
Heard of them.
Ever heard of them?
Yeah.
All right.
I got Tough Crowd with Colin Quim, Last Comic Standing, Host of the AVN Awards,
Jimmy Kimmel, The Late Show with David Letterman, The Jay Leno Show, That Metal
Show, Dave's Old Porn, Late Night with Jimmy Found, had a 10-year run with The
Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Chelsea Lately, Cop Show, four episodes, should
have became a series, WTF with Mark Maron, Church of What's Happening Now, Joe
Rogan.
And he has multiple stand-up specials and albums out, to name a few.
Jesus.
You got Monster Rain, you got Please Be Offended, American Degenerate, Contextually
Inadequate, Mouthful of Shame, and of course, he appeared on The Opie and
Anthony Show from 2001 to 2014.
He is the co-host of Jim and Sam on SiriusXM and the brains behind the Chip Chipperson
podcast, but the big question in everybody's mind today, is he garbage?
Now, I've heard the rumors, I read the newspapers, but I got a feeling he's
going to surprise us, ladies and gentlemen, again, the legendary, Mr. Jim Norton,
everybody.
Thank you.
By the way, what you just said adds up to more dialogue that I've had and all
that shit put together.
I'm the king of one sentence and done.
They're like, get him out, he stinks.
Who got this guy?
Hey, man, our credit's a credit.
You can still flex at craft services, you know what I mean?
They don't know what you're doing there.
I was in Benders.
I was in the pilot, which was like Chris DiStefano and...
Schultz.
Schultz.
And I died of cancer in the pilot episode, but I don't think I was supposed to.
It said series regular.
No, no, we're going to kill you off in the pilot episode.
Bring the bus in.
Here we go.
We got to get Jim's close-up.
Only got to die in the first act of a sitcom.
Buddy, thank you so much for coming and sitting with us, man.
We really appreciate it.
You guys are great.
Thank you.
What is the...
Give me the origin story of Mr. Jim Norton.
Jersey kid, right?
It's uneventful.
It's Bayonne.
Born in Bayonne.
Raised in Edison.
My parents are still married.
I have a sister.
And I blew a lot of my friends when I was a kid.
Ah, just like Norman Rockwell painted it, folks.
Yeah, there's a touching photo of me at a diner with a policeman with his hand
on my head.
Man, you got to love it.
What did your mom and dad do growing up?
My dad is...
He was in the military, and then he was in the post office, and then he joined
the Army Reserve.
So he's a postal employee, Army Reserve Command Sergeant Major.
Nice.
And my mom was a librarian.
Really?
Yeah, which is a weird...
Like, when she had my sister, then she kind of went out to work.
Like, with me, I was raised at home, which obviously, it did not go well.
I was raised at home.
Yeah, and she's like, I don't want to make this mistake twice.
Maybe I'll leave the house.
And she was a librarian, so she used to bring me home, like, comedy records,
like Woody Allen,
Robin Williams, and all that shit.
And how far apart are you and your sister?
I'm seven years older.
You're seven years older than her.
Okay.
And when you say you were raised at home, you weren't, like, homeschooled or
anything like that, right?
No, no, no, no.
I mean, just like, you know, it was pretty...
My parents...
My mom stayed home with me when I was a kid.
Gotcha.
You know, it was fairly traditional.
Uh-huh.
Dad worked.
Mom stayed home.
We're talking apartment, single-family house, condo, townhouse.
What are we talking here?
Apartment in Edison.
Okay.
And then we moved into a house in North Brunswick, because I remember my
parents paid $56,000.
Damn.
I don't know how I knew that, but that was the big...
It was a huge number, and the mortgage was, like, $700 a month, and I couldn't
believe
that they were spending that much money when I was about 12.
That was definitely thrown in your face as a 12-year-old.
Yeah, it is.
You know how much this fucking house costs me?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
You shouldn't know your dad's mortgage payment when you're seven.
I don't know how I heard it.
It's crazy.
It was probably when one of them was crying.
Fucking...
Screaming at each other in the kitchen.
Fucking $600 a month reverse Morgan, son of a bitch.
What am I doing?
Upside down on a house in New Brunswick.
I knew that shit, too.
And that does affect you as a kid.
Yeah.
When you know, like, the finances and stuff like that.
Well, my dad got laid off.
In, like, 1980, he drove for Hall's trucking.
Okay.
Before the post office.
And there was that whole...
He always blamed Jimmy Carter, and I don't know if it was his fault.
Gotta love a good vengeance.
That goddamn Carter.
That's a new Are You Garbage question.
Does your dad hold any presidents personally responsible for his well-being?
Fucking Carter.
Yeah.
Yeah, my dad drove a peanut truck.
I don't know what the fucking...
But, yeah, he was fuming at fucking Jimmy Carter, I remember.
That sucks.
Fucking hated Jimmy Carter.
Was he a big Reagan guy?
Did he like Reagan?
I don't know.
I don't know if he liked Reagan or if he just hated Jimmy Carter.
I don't even remember.
I just...
I know that my dad couldn't get back to work because he had this...
Like, the guy in the union ahead of him, they didn't like.
So, like, my dad couldn't get back to work because the guy ahead of him was not
going to come back
because they hated that guy.
Okay.
So, that's how I learned about, like, the unions and, like, you know, you get
fucked.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I like it.
And so, you're an 80s kid, basically.
Plus, my dad was smuggling drugs with the trucking company.
Really?
No.
Oh, I was like, what the fuck?
Things are about to get real spicy in here.
I like it.
I bought that like this was WTF.
I was like, no, no shit, Jim.
Tell me more.
Fucking idiot.
I tripped on smuggling.
It deserved what it got, which was what?
I was like, you lead with that.
You don't lead with the Carter thing.
You lead with the drug smuggling.
Religious growing up?
No, I made...
I did my catechism and communion.
It was kind of like the standard shit.
Sure.
But, no, and I don't have any real...
I think I had to go to CCD for a while, but it was like a regular...
I wasn't raised in Catholic school.
I just...
Public school?
The public school, basic religious shit, you did.
My confirmation name was Christopher.
I don't know why.
I just liked that.
I thought it was a cool name.
Yeah.
But that was the end of my religious training.
Yeah, yeah.
So, your full name would be James Joseph Christopher Norton?
Norton, yeah.
How do you know Joseph?
I do my research.
Wikipedia over here.
God damn.
That's right.
Got the research department on that one.
Got a couple of guys following Jim around for the last couple of weeks.
I wanted to make a good impression on him.
Well, my parents weren't very hacky with the Bible.
Joseph.
I mean, come on.
You could have dug a little deeper than that, you fucking...
Ezekiel, something.
Yeah, exactly.
Put a little spice on it.
Exactly.
What, did you go to church once in 1965 and that's the name you remember?
My mom named me the Corinthians, you know what I mean?
Jesus Christ.
All right, so we're talking traditional American family.
Yeah.
What were the kind of cars growing up?
You know, my dad...
Oh, this was...
We had a Chevy Vega.
It was a hatchback.
A Vega hatchback.
Hatchbacks are always tough.
It was tough because we would go fishing and I was such a dog shit fisherman.
My dad put a fish on the back.
And I remember that was...
Like on the window?
No, no.
I wish it was on the windshield.
We never...
It was on the fucking...
He's so quick.
It's crazy.
No, it was on the back above the bumper.
It was so humiliating because he goes, that's to let everyone know there's a
fisherman on board.
Oh, God.
And I was like, oh.
Aye, aye, captain.
Really fucking...
You know that feeling you get where you're just like...
It's a weird one you can't even laugh off when you're a kid.
Oh, yeah.
That's tough, man.
Your parents made you feel awkward like that.
You didn't know how to process it.
You're just like, ugh.
No, no.
He should have put like a fucking...
A thing with vinegar hanging over the bathroom.
So everyone would know there was a couple of douches on board.
How often would you take your fishing?
You know, we would go...
My friend Bill D'Angelo was a good fisherman.
Him and his dad would go...
And it's weird that you put pressure on yourself about this.
But you weren't a good fisherman.
Well, it was one of those things that I would literally...
All the other kids at school are making fun of him.
Jim can't even catch a sonny.
Fucking douche.
Caught me two wide mouth basses here, huh?
Jim ain't caught nothing yet.
Well, no.
Bill would catch fish with it.
They were like kind of outdoorsy.
And I would literally...
It was just humiliating because I would catch nothing.
I hated fishing.
Fucking hated it.
Because in Vermont, my dad would take me once in a while.
And we would always throw the fish back.
We used to go on like family vacations