Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: How to Lose a Fight w/ Kippy & Foley
Uploaded: 2021-11-04T03:34:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: How to Lose a Fight w/ Kippy & Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: How to Lose a Fight w/ Kippy & Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-04. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: How to Lose a Fight w/ Kippy & Foley

NYC.
The Big Apple.
New York City.
Ever heard of it?
Gang, the boys are going to be here.
Gotham Comedy Club, November 9th on the Isle of Manhattan.
We're coming back.
We're storming the beaches.
Get some tickets and come see us.
It's the New York Comedy Festival, our first time in it.
You don't want to miss it.
This show's going to sell out.
Also, the boys are going to be in Hartford, Connecticut on December 14th.
Then we're going to go to Albany, New York on December 15th.
And then where are we going after that, big man?
We're going to be in Syracuse December 16th.
Get those tickets.
Yeah.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Here it is.
It's a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and find out if
they grew up to be classy.
They're just a big old piece of trash.
We got two of them right here in the studio.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're down here in Aunt Toadie's basement.
Yeah.
She's feeling fine.
She's feeling good.
Sure.
I saw her reading a book upstairs.
Really?
It was a hustler.
But still, she's reading.
My co-host is coming at you from across the table at me.
That was a good one.
They had a couple of zingers in before payday.
You know what I mean?
He's the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He's an international businessman known in many circles.
Yeah.
Are you going to G2?
What's the deal?
Or G12?
You going to that?
I'm more of a G18 kind of guy.
It's on a standby list.
A couple of G strings if I could, if I may.
Think those guys party over there?
I would be.
I party here and I'm not there.
That's probably a big old fuck fest over there.
It's like the Olympics.
Those dudes get after it.
Gang, give it up for Kevin James Ryan, goddamn.
We got KJ in the middle.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Hey, gang.
Happy to be here, as always.
Please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
And as you know, those numbers are...
True the roof.
True the fucking roof.
Shout out to YouTube.
YouTube's pretty good.
We got to shout out to Big Kev for that.
Yeah.
Yeah, Big Kev, shout out for YouTube.
What are you...
You watching that over there on the YouTube?
Everybody on the street, Ray, dude?
And then, hmm, let me find my notes.
We had a production...
It's patreon.com.
Don't be stupid.
What are you doing?
Fuck.
What if the yams are watching?
We're cooking over there on that Patreon.
Yeah, it's cooking.
Go check it out.
We're almost...
I don't like to toot my own horn.
I want to get us over the edge.
We're almost at $20,000 over there on that Patreon.
That's pretty fucking bonkos in my book.
Seven million hours of bonus content.
You get a lot of shit.
I'll come clean your car if you need me to.
We got videos.
We got bonus episode.
We got hard feelings.
Yeah.
Love it.
We got a lot of shit on there.
Check it out.
And cheesesteak egg rolls.
Pound for pound might be the best one.
Best Patreon out there.
Comedy podcast.
I'm going toe-to-toe and throwing it down.
Except them, Dylan, Andrew Schultz, and a couple others.
Nine other millionaires.
But we're having fun over there.
So check it out.
Yeah.
We love it.
And I'll have a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire.
The magic man makes us all look good.
We're all going to be going to the Menzinger show.
Yeah.
Soon.
I think this is already out, but maybe.
Sure.
It already happened.
Way to launch it.
I did not take mushrooms.
Give it up for T-Bone McMuffin.
Toby McMullen.
What's up, dudes?
What up, T-Bone?
Dude, so I was editing the last family episode.
Sure.
And in Foley's intro, he alludes to fucking Aunt Tootie.
Really?
You said you had a spicy relationship, which means now, in our world, in the
canon of RU Garbage,
Foley banged Aunt Tootie unless we reboot this thing and do a lot of retcon and
change the backstory.
Hey, Wookieapedia.
Take it easy, will you?
What?
Wookieapedia?
Star Wars reference.
That's where they have all the information about the canon of Star Wars.
Oh.
Toby got it.
He knows exactly what I'm talking about.
Probably his homepage.
And yeah, it's not all fleshed out.
You know what I mean?
We're still in season one here.
Jesus Christ.
Also, too, who knows she's even a real aunt?
She could just be a family friend.
She's not our aunt.
We live with Aunt Tootie, but she's not our aunt.
I've established that.
Really?
It sucks with her.
Yeah.
I've seen a couple of videos over on the Hub where aunts and nephews get going.
The one time they were stuck in a hotel room and with only one bed.
Do you really like that?
No, I don't.
No, that was like the biggest video.
Typically, this is not a family program, but that was like the biggest video on
PornHub in like a year.
All right.
It did like 375 million views.
What are you typing in?
I don't type in anything.
I stay around that suggested for you.
Really?
You let the algorithm do the work, huh?
Hey, they got my number.
I'll tell you that.
Poor Mr. Hub's got me dead to rights.
He knows what he's doing.
Talk about an SEO.
Gang, this is a family episode.
I don't think it is with the fucking what we're talking about over here.
Gang, it's a family episode.
We're going to be reading off your questions.
As you know, when you sign up for the old Patreon there, we'll ask your
questions on the air.
Now, we got a bit of a backlog, as KJ says, but we promise we're going to get
to them all.
Yeah, of course.
And also, like we said, if you're on Patreon, you get first crack at a garbage
question.
It's just the best way to do it.
I mean, we get the DMs, we get the emails, people fucking knock on my door.
Hey, did you ever think of it?
I thought about it.
We've got to get to the Patreon.
Unless we get a hot one on a DM.
Yeah, sure.
Then I pass that off as mine.
No big deal.
You've done that a couple times.
No, I always give credit where credit is due.
Yeah, right.
Oh, yeah, we're working on that.
Something like that.
Yeah, I already got one on my list.
Well, that's my go-to answer anyway for legal.
If anybody brings up anything to me.
Yeah, it's like SNL.
You've got to sign away all rights.
Somebody could ask me about like, oh, yeah, they're putting up a CVS.
Oh, I had an idea.
I was in the movie doing that.
Sure, sure, sure.
But no, of course, we always make sure everybody knows who popped the question.
Oh, yeah, yeah, of course.
We're having fun over here, big man.
We're having a good time.
Yeah.
T-Bone's fiddling with the cam.
T-Bone, you all right over there?
You're freaking me out.
Take the lens cap off.
It's happening.
Buttons, get on it.
Did you ever have an older family member that would tell you to sit down
because you're
making them nervous when you stand around them?
No, I don't think so.
Oh, I had a couple of uncles that if they were sitting down, you couldn't stand
over them.
Oh, like, yeah.
Sit down, you're making me nervous.
Sit down, you're making me nervous.
I would get that.
Yeah, but you're breathing heavy, eating ham.
I know.
They think you're going to snatch the fucking turkey leg out of their hands.
Dropping lettuce on them.
You're like a seagull.
They think you're going to swoop in and grab something.
Take out a knife.
Floating over the breakfast table.
Oh, you just spit, and it's in your beard.
Okay.
I've been doing that a lot.
Now it's on your hand.
I saw you wipe your nose on your hand, then on your shirt.
I've been doing that a lot.
Man, this guy is boogers.
Really, man.
For me being such a germaphobe, it's like God's sick thing.
The fact that I'm such a germaphobe, and now I'm connected to life with a germ,
it's a tough look.
I'm starting to get to the point where...
This is like immersion therapy.
You know what I mean?
If you're afraid of heights, they throw you out of a plane.
They do that?
I'm afraid of germs, so I have to have a podcast with you.
I'm getting to the...
Well, now we're turning the corner.
We got the meal plan coming.
All right, all that stuff.
This is a big corner you've been trying to turn for two years.
I'm gearing up.
I'm priming the pumps.
I need cake.
Guys, Fat Court's on Patreon.
It's a fucking doozy, okay?
Anyway, I noticed yesterday we were having a nice meal...
Is this Fat Court?
...with a good friend of ours.
No, I'm just going to say...
Okay.
I'm aware that I might be repulsing people with my eating, with the way I eat.
Oh, thanks for tuning in.
Yeah.
Yeah, I do the napkin.
I have to be very careful.
I like, you know, sometimes I'll hold the napkin with a bite.
It's very geriatric, the way I eat.
It is, but there's also a speed to it that like...
Wait, it's quick or it's slow?
It's quick.
You, I think...
This is more Patreon content, but we'll give him a little sneak peek.
I think you're aware of how fast you're eating, so you slow it down in mixed
company.
Yes.
Because I've done this.
I'm aware, because I'm just by nature.
But I assume there's food on my face.
It typically is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I feel like I'm grossing out the other people.
That's why...
I wouldn't say grossing out, but I would say...
You don't make a lot of eye contact to me.
No, I treat it like a bank job, dude.
No fucking witnesses, head down, no eye contact.
Drop the gun, walk out quick, but not fast.
Yeah.
The mutual friend that we had a meal with yesterday, had dinner with, he at one
point had suggested...
Because there was sun-dried tomatoes in my dish.
Sure.
And he said, do you like sun-dried tomatoes?
I said, yeah, there's just a lot of them, so I'm pushing them to the side a
little bit.
And I got the feeling that he...
I said, if you want one, please help yourself.
I don't think that was ever on the table for him.
In my head, I'm like, man, does he not know what a slime ball I am?
He's going to share food with me?
Because you wouldn't.
What?
No.
There's no way you would take...
Like, if I took a bite of a hamburger, you wouldn't take a bite of it.
No, because that's bad, right?
The two ways...
Okay.
I want a little look in the Kippy's head here.
But it's just...
What a psycho KJ.
It's just real Patreon content.
As you hold the burger, you bite into it.
That half that you bit into is now a no-fly zone in my book, okay?
Sanartica.
Yeah, that's like the fucking 87th parallel.
Can't cross it.
Was that the right number?
Something like that.
Yeah.
I figured you would know that, Johnny Army.
82nd, maybe?
No, it's 87th or 89th.
Whatever.
Buttons, get a Google on that, will you?
I don't even know what you're talking about.
Talking about the...
Type in 87th parallel.
I think it's that.
Yeah, it's the Korean Peninsula, I believe you're referring to.
That was Vietnam, no?
Uh-uh.
Korea?
I think it's Korea.
Wow, we look like a couple of fucking commies over here.
Hey, Big Red, relax, will you?
Yeah, a circle of latitude in the northern hemisphere in the Arctic Ocean.
Is what, 87th?
Yep.
Oh, so I pulled it right.
No, you didn't.
I said 87th parallel.
Is that the one that divides North Korea and South Korea, though?
Oh, gee, we couldn't just let Kibbe win it and move on?
Never.
Have you met me?
I thought I got out clean.
I know it exists.
I'm trying to deflect from my slob eating.
So that's North Korea, right?
That's done.
I can't go...
And I would assume where the hands make contact with the bun.
The hands are dirtier than the mouth, I presume.
From what I've seen on a day-to-day basis over the past decade,
the hands aren't good.
Like a Komodo dragon.
Yeah, if I get that on me and then it's, like, stuck to your fucking, you know,
it's, like, shoots the gack at you.
But I don't...
That's with most people.
So you're, you know...
The lady you'll share, right?
Of course.
What about you, Toby?
Would you eat off my plate?
I have.
Yes, he has.
What have you eaten off my plate?
Look at him.
He looks like a fucking wet rat right now.
I belie