Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Trevor Wallace - Cali Kid
Uploaded: 2021-11-11T02:24:57.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Trevor Wallace - Cali Kid' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Trevor Wallace - Cali Kid' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-11. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Trevor Wallace - Cali Kid

Folks, this just in over the wire.
We got a hot new merch drop, Kippy.
Merch drop, baby.
From November 8th to the November 18th, you can get your limited edition Tootie's
Goodies, baby.
We're asking everyone to remain calm.
We're going to have a real Black Friday situation on our hands.
We got Bernie's tees and hoodies.
We got Tootie's tees.
We got Tootie's tees and hoodies.
And we got Bonko's.
We got Bonko's tees and hoodies, guys.
The link will be in the description.
Go to bonfire.com slash short slash RU Garbage.
Limited edition, only available for 10 or 11 days.
Get them while they're available.
Get the holiday orders in now.
Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage.
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there.
And welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is RU Garbage.
Sure is.
It's a little show.
We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out if they grew up to be
classy or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're down here at Aunt Tootie's basement.
She's upset upstairs.
Why?
Squirrels.
Okay.
She's got squirrels.
Okay.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of RU Garbage.
He's an international businessman.
We all know him as KJ, but his mama named him Kevin James Ryan.
Hey, gang.
KJ's really sticking, by the way.
What's up?
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
And as you know, those numbers are fucking cooking.
And then I would be an asshole if I didn't mention the greatest website of all
time.
Patreon.com slash RU Garbage.
Sing it, brother.
Shout out to the Yam family, Jack Conte, for creating the world's best website.
You can sign up, get all bonus content, live streams, the whole nine yards.
Check it out.
Conte Yam 2024.
I'm calling it right fucking now.
I'm in.
And how about a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire, the magic
man.
Makes us all look good.
Been busting his ass.
The kid's the fucking best.
Give it up for T-Bone McMuffin, Toby McMullen.
What's up, dudes?
We've been having a real good time.
About to have an even better time.
We've got the homie in the crib.
It's going to be far new.
Yes, we do, T-Bone.
We could not be more excited to have our incredibly special guest.
And I mean incredibly special guest.
We've got a little fucking star power.
Kid does some numbers over there.
Here with us today for the first fucking time.
He is a very funny, very successful stand-up comedian, actor, podcaster,
YouTube, and social media fucking sensation.
He is the co-host of the Stiff Sox podcast.
He's got 573 followers on the Twitter there.
Two million on the gram.
And are you ready for this?
Put your seatbelts and your headgear on.
Two million, 260 subscribers on YouTube.
The kid is a fucking network unto himself.
It's cooking.
Big question of what he's in mind today.
Is he garbage?
Not with that hairline, baby.
I'll tell you that right now.
That jacket says different, though.
Yeah, I'll throw you off.
I'm like a four loco.
You know, I'm classy.
Classy going in.
Yeah.
Trashy coming out.
Oh, shit.
Is that blue camouflage?
And you crack and you're like, oh, no, another felony.
Give it up for Trevor Wallace.
God damn it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thanks for having me, man.
This is great, dude.
Buddy, that's got to be an expensive jacket, though.
This is a thrift find, for sure.
Really?
I think this was 24 bucks.
Wow.
It looks cool.
Yeah, I don't know what it is.
But you got that vibe where you can pull stuff off that's not cool.
You can make cool.
Oh, it's a Pete Davidson shit where you just throw things on.
You can a little bit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
People are like, at a certain level, people just go, am I missing a trend here?
Is this the new thing?
Yeah.
I saw Pete Davidson like three weeks ago, and I was wearing a fanny pack for
the first time.
And he's like, oh, you got a fanny pack?
I'm like, yeah.
He's like, I got a purse.
I'm like, okay, we're waiting.
He's wearing a shower curtain.
You're like, all right.
Dude, literally.
Yeah.
He can do whatever the fuck he wants.
Yeah, I'd be so nervous if I saw Pete.
I'd probably just go naked and be like, this is the new trend.
Oh, dude, I was so self-conscious the whole time.
You had a fanny pack?
I had a fanny pack on, and somebody was like, no, proper rags fanny pack.
There we go.
And they were like, Kevin, is that a fanny pack?
I'm like, yeah, it's the first time wearing it.
I'm not quite sure.
He's like, ah, dude, fanny packs are cool.
I'm like, all right.
That's great, because I think had you done it over the chest, then he would
have been like,
all right, man, let's be good.
I can't do that.
I'm not that cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I can't do that.
Can you pull that off?
Is that cool now?
No, no, no.
Because you're right there.
There was a split second where that was the move, and I still think a little
bit is.
I also don't carry enough shit on me to put anything in there.
Sure.
If it's just empty, and it's flying off in the wind, and it's just fluttering.
There's no weight to keep it to your body.
It looks like the blinds of a breeze in the autumn.
So if there's nothing in it, or there's one weird thing, like an iPhone cord in
there,
you could just put that in your back pocket.
That's a back pocket right there.
Yeah, I'd rather go backpack.
Or in Williamsburg, a lot of people out here, they just got the tote bags.
Tote bags are big.
I like a nice tote.
I do not.
I want to go on a tote.
But I can't pull it off in the cooler.
You hold it for like five minutes, and you're like, I wish I had a backpack.
Yeah, exactly.
This is so annoying.
I think the non-backpack's a physical thing for you.
But the question is, are they cool now?
I think they definitely are.
Probably in a certain zip code in Brooklyn, yeah.
Yeah, they also look like you're saving the environment somehow, somewhere, or
another.
And I don't want to be represented as that at all.
There we go.
I'm a plastic bag man throwing throw.
Yeah, there we go.
There we go.
Get a Wegmans bag, you bitch.
Wegmans, very classy.
I'll tell you what, those bags are awesome, too.
I travel with those bags from the grocery store, the reusable bags.
Oh, really?
You know what I heard?
That's how trashy he is.
He gets on the airplane with a shopping bag.
But they don't question it as a carry-on.
You hold it like it's groceries.
Meanwhile, it's a fucking cardigan and a fanny pack.
You're holding like an old school?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But they think it's just like food.
Because I don't know you can bring food on a flight.
I know.
That's a question we do a lot.
What do you do?
Do you do that?
Dude, my dad did the most rogue thing ever.
See, I feel like my trashiness comes from like a background of like, it has
nice intuitions.
But it comes off bad.
Sure.
Like, I was flying back from Hawaii.
Intuitions is not the right word.
But I know what you mean.
Yeah, I'm not good with it.
That's strike number one, as we call it over here.
I'm not good with English.
It comes from like, I don't know.
I was coming back from Hawaii with my dad, which is just a genuine piece of
shit statement.
Sure, yeah, yeah.
But my dad, midway through the flight, pulls out a Ziploc bag and he had a
chicken tender from the restaurant.
I was like, you brought a tender through TSA?
Is that even legal?
One tender.
And he taps me on the shoulder because he was sitting behind me in fucking main
cabin like a bitch just getting nice.
Wait, okay.
Wait, you were flying first.
No, we're in the same.
That's like Richie Richie, right?
No, I don't know.
But he tapped me on the shoulder.
He's like, you want to bite?
I was like, did you bring that in your pocket?
Dad, we're both doing well enough.
We don't need to split a tender.
But it was weird.
He goes, the pocket kept it kind of warm.
And you need my father on the show immediately.
Oh, my God.
So now we got to go back since you said that.
Yeah, let's go back.
Give us the origin story of Trevor Wallace.
Where are you from?
What's the school?
Cali boy, right?
Cali kid.
Essentially, I was born in Naperville, Illinois, but was there for two years.
Okay.
Where's Naperville?
Oh, Bears.
Should have fucking known.
Wow.
Should have seen that huge Bears flag.
Yeah.
I just didn't know if you guys were trying to cover a hole in the wall or
something.
For the listener, I'm sitting next to an eight-foot Bears flag.
Bears flag.
No, Bears.
No, so I was born in Illinois because my parents bought it for work.
My mom's from California.
She's like, fuck this.
It's cold.
Yeah.
They moved back when I was two, so I spent all my life in Southern California.
Nice.
It's fine.
Yeah.
It's like a town of 60,000.
Okay.
Suburban upbringing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Suburban.
How close to L.A.?
About an hour.
Near the beach?
About 20 from the beach.
It was like a little inland, hour from L.A., but you could get to either of
those.
Like, on the weekends, we would drive down to Venice Beach and, like, go buy,
like, a pipe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nice one-hitter or something.
Yeah.
One-hitter, dude.
A bubbler if you're fucking getting crazy.
Oh, dude, I haven't heard bubbler in fucking 20 years.
But that was like-
Yo, get the bubbler.
But when one, like, my buddy CJ would bust out the bubbler.
Dude, it was like-
That was always a CJ that had the bubbler, too.
Oh, yeah.
Because he was the one that had, like, the chiller parents.
Yeah.
Like, they still would get mad, but if they walked in, they'd be like, hey,
come on, hide it
a little better.
Every bubbler was in a sock, too.
He was pulling out of a sock, a dirty tube sock.
Yeah.
Dude, what the fuck?
I think you came in this recently.
Yeah.
He's like, hide the smell.
It's disgusting.
But the water would barely do anything.
But mentally, we were all in, like, ninth grade, and we're like, this is
fucking sick.
Yeah, dude.
Filtration.
Just that noise.
That noise alone.
Just that noise, yeah.
And you feel like you're in a Cypress Hills music video.
We used to do something, and I don't know if the term is the best now, but it's
called
a ghetto, where you smoke out of it.
It would be a water bottle, and you'd take a-
Pen cap.
A pen cap.
Yeah.
And you'd find, like, a socket.
Socket wrench, yeah.
And you'd burn it on the pen.
You'd put it in there, and that was your bong.
That would create, like, a tight enough seal a little bit at the pen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then you'd put, like, a hole in it.
It was, like, a carb.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But, you know, talk about the fucking, the sound.
Dude, you put one of those in a Gatorade bottle.
Oh, dude, you were cooking.
That voice was ripped, dude.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That voice was ripped.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That big mouth on the Gatorade bottle would get cooking, dude.
Yeah, yeah.
We felt like we were doing an interlude for a Sublime song.
Like, we were fucking, we were, no, that was, so, yeah, grew up out there.
Brothers, sisters?
Got an older sister.
She lives in the city, actually.
Nice.
Lives in the city.
Saw her yesterday, came to the show.
How much older?
She's two years older.
Two years older, so you guys are growing up together.
Yeah, growing up together, pretty close.
We were never, like, close, like, but, like, I don't know how to say, like, we
were cool,
but we were, like, cool, cordial.
You weren't, like, hanging out.
Right.
Like, you know, you see that comic in Club, like, oh, what's up?
We're boys, but, like, that level, you know.
Did you guys, would she associate you?
Not in the hallway, because you went to the bathroom.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Would she associate with you in high school?
Like, she was older?
Not really, but, like, we'd be at the same high school for, like, two years.
We'd be, like, freshman, sophomore year, and then she'd be a junior, senior.
But she was just, like, a really 