Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Jeremiah Watkins Returns!
Uploaded: 2021-11-18T00:05:51.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Jeremiah Watkins Returns!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Jeremiah Watkins Returns!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-18. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Jeremiah Watkins Returns!

Folks, this just in over the wire.
We got a hot new merch drop, Kippy.
Merch drop, baby.
From November 8th to the November 18th, you can get your limited edition Tootie's
Goodies, baby.
We're asking everyone to remain calm.
We're going to have a real Black Friday situation on our hands.
We got Bernie's tees and hoodies.
We got Tootie's tees.
We got Tootie's tees and hoodies.
And we got Bonko's.
We got Bonko's tees and hoodies, guys.
The link will be in the description.
Go to bonfire.com slash short slash RU Garbage.
Limited edition, only available for 10 or 11 days.
Get them while they're available.
Get the holiday orders in now.
Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage.
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there.
And welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is RU Garbage.
Sure is.
It's a little show.
We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out if they grow up to be
classy.
Yeah.
Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're down here once again.
Tootie's time, Cher.
Down here in Houston, Texas.
We're having a good time.
I saw her this morning.
Yeah.
Stealing an omelet from the buffet at the hotel.
Oh, man.
Turned her in.
Wanted to be a good guest.
You know what I mean?
Maybe get a couple of points coming my way.
Did they upgrade the room at all?
They did.
They kicked her out.
But now she's staying with me, so I'm screwed again.
It's a win-win.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of RU Garbage.
He's really an international businessman, to be honest with you.
Not to be trifled with him in the boardroom, but here on vacation, he lets his
hair down a little bit.
He has a couple of pops.
He's enjoying himself spending that credit card real nice, too.
You're throwing that thing around like it's nickels.
I love it.
Kevin James Ryan.
Hey, gang.
Happy to be here.
As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
And as you know, those numbers are true.
They're fucking cooking.
And then patreon.com, the greatest goddamn website ever made.
Shout out www.patreon.com.
So that's RU Garbage.
Check out the party that's going on over there.
Amen.
Millions and millions upon millions of hours of bonus content.
All available for you.
On the site as a whole, not at slash RU Garbage.
There's about 80 there.
And how about a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire, the magic
man.
He makes us all look good.
Also doing a great job, having an amazing time down here in Houston.
T-Bone McMuffin.
It's Toby McMullen.
What's up, dude?
What's up, buddy?
I'm about to get a face tattoo.
I'm fucking radicalized.
Skate Fest has changed me, dude.
T-Bone's recording this episode with no shoes or socks on right now.
It's crazy.
We got a different vibe down here in Houston, dog.
Turn into a hillbilly.
I like it.
Yeah.
Give me some deer corn and some cat piss.
But I'll tell you this.
We got a little company in the house.
Very good friend of ours has stopped by.
We could not be more excited to have our incredibly special guest back with us
again today.
Official family member.
In person for the first time.
In person for the first time.
Look at that.
On vacation with us.
That's family right there.
Real family stuff.
He has an amazing podcast called Jeremiah Wonders.
He also has an amazing podcast called Scissor Bros.
And then he has something else out right now that I can't quite remember.
He's the voice of the fucking Joker.
He's the fucking Joker.
On the new animated series, The Joker, ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Mr.
Jeremiah Watkins.
What's up, guys?
What's up, bro?
Buddy, let's run down that list.
Nicholson, Leto, Watkins.
Cesar Romero.
Is it too much if I make a collage?
Post it on Instagram and just be like, eh?
Who was your favorite?
Picture you in the shower at the end.
Not a professional shot at all.
This is a selfie.
Well, Cesar Romero, you can see the mustache, though.
Yeah, that's true.
It's all good.
Isn't that weird?
Back in the day when the guys had, they loved their mustache too much where
they're like, just paint over it.
I can never regrow this thing, man.
It's too much.
It's part of me.
I don't want to.
You see people host like SNL and stuff and you're like, you're really not going
to shave?
Yeah, just do it.
For the sketch show?
Yeah, we'll be back in a couple of weeks.
I don't care about the project.
They're going to score some pussy on Rodeo later.
I hear that after party's hot.
I'm going up against Burt Reynolds.
I need a stache.
Buddy, how the hell are you, man?
Dude, I'm so good.
I'm so excited to be here.
I follow you guys so closely online on your social medias and everything.
And I love tweeting at you guys.
I love tagging you.
We have a good time.
We were talking about it yesterday.
I did a brief little segment on his pod that he has.
And we were talking about how the stuff that he tags us in a lot of times is
like insane level of garbage.
Yeah, man.
You can, as I'm a big fat pig.
We all agree on that.
Sure.
Your eating skills amaze me.
I go for it.
You go for it.
I found that you and I share similar taste buds.
Yes.
We do.
And what I like about the kid.
But not waistlines.
What I like about it is you have a wide palate.
So when you go in.
It's wild.
There's like Chinese spare ribs.
There's lasagna.
There's a fucking chocolate cake.
There's a gallon of milk.
There's a Gatorade, a bottle of Pedialyte.
Dude, it's like you spend like $400 on a meal.
In a hotel room is what it looks like.
I'm just a pregnant woman at all times.
My palate is like I'm about to have a baby, but it never came out.
Kid's got hot flashes.
Get them some kimchi.
Quick.
Go for it.
Freak out over here.
Yeah.
I just found out that not everybody has diarrhea everywhere.
Well, here on this pod, we do.
I just want to clarify that.
I literally thought that was Tuesday for everybody.
I thought that was just called pooping.
How's the family life?
How's the baby and all that stuff?
Dude, it's awesome.
It's just a cool new chapter being a dad.
It really is.
It's just like life was like this cool thing before.
Now it's like this new fun addition.
That's how I look at it.
That's fantastic.
What a fucking perspective on this kid.
I imagine you're going to have a good ride, too, because you're a child at
heart.
Oh, dude.
I'm excited to introduce my son to the action figures that I like and the
movies and the
comic books and all that stuff.
He's already watched Goonies six times.
Yeah.
He watched Hocus Pocus the other night.
Stardom Young, baby.
Stardom Young.
Yeah.
Now, are you going to eat like that in front of your kid, you think?
I can't.
You can't, right?
Except when mom's not in town.
You can't be like, hey, eat your green beans.
Dad's having three Domino's pizzas.
Yeah, dude, that's not happening.
Why does daddy get to have ice cream for dinner?
Because daddy works.
Because daddy pays the bills around here.
Have you ever heard of the Joker?
Nicholson?
Daddy did eight shows in Kansas City last weekend so we could have a little
treat.
Yeah.
That's fantastic.
We're just like our parents should make our dads, but we like little kid stuff,
too.
You know what I mean?
Like, you got to eat your vegetables.
Yeah.
Meanwhile, my dad was eating cereal out of a Tupperware thing.
I was eating fucking green beans.
All right.
So we got some questions here.
Yeah.
So I don't know if, you know, when you sign up for the Patreon, we will answer
your garbage
question on the air.
And they got some fucking heaters.
They're always, they've learned.
It's like hive mind.
Like, they've learned even how to phrase them how we ask them.
It's like really good.
This one's from Salami Hussein.
I don't know if that's his government name or not.
Have you, were you writing to your friends the kid who ever pulled the fire
alarm?
Ooh.
That was a bad kid.
I could see that.
I never did that.
I think one of my buddies might have, I had a buddy, he was the kid who pooped
in urinals.
Whoa, man.
You say that like there's one in every school.
Talk about taking it up a notch.
Jesus Christ.
Talking about a pin on your teacher's seat.
This guy's taking deuces in the principal's office.
What the fuck?
I mean, that was his go-to.
That is hilarious.
How old are we talking?
Dude, this is junior and senior year in high school.
In high school.
It was one of my best friends in high school.
Wow.
He got voted class clown.
This was in law school.
Yeah.
Dude, that's, I was always petrified.
In school he would do it or just like anywhere you guys went?
No, he would just do it at school.
I think it was just like a rebellious like, screw you.
But the thing that's the worst about that is like, the teachers don't even have
to deal
with it.
It's a freaking custodian.
Yeah, it's like you're pranking the wrong person.
Literally, it's just the teacher walking in and being like, hey, I have an
incident down
in the men's room.
And the guy most likely could be a serial killer.
Who?
Yeah, you don't want any urinal?
You never fucked with that guy.
You never fucked with a custodian.
No.
Oh, no.
He was like the candy man.
Yeah.
I remember we had one who was in like junior high and he was like this younger
guy and
all the girls would flirt with him and he would flirt back.
He lasted like 48 hours.
We were like, get this guy the fuck out.
Who did a background check on this?
Yeah, this is a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Dude, he was flirting with the girls like immediately.
I'm like, you didn't even like wait to fucking settle down at all.
You're still on probationary period.
I'll talk to you guys later.
I got to go clean up a dump in the urinal.
Jeremiah's boy pooped in a urinal again.
I find this old prick.
I'm going to break his fucking neck.
He's doing bits like I got to put candy litter down because all these bitches
are wet.
Come on.
This is a family program.
Tommy, we're on vacation.
God damn it.
Put some shoes on if you're going to make jokes like that.
Shoes off.
Toby doesn't play like his own rules.
Even his feet go wrong.
Toby mad, dog.
This guy's.
Toby smash.
Yeah.
I was always scared of the ink that they told you that was in there and the
fire alarm.
I don't know if that's my generation or your generation.
It's the same thing like with bank bags and stuff like that.
Like that's real though.
Right.
They said when you pulled it down that ink would shoot out on you and you would
have it on your
shirt and then you would be able to tell.
They'd be able to tell.
Is that folklore?
Is that a real thing?
It's folklore.
But there was, there was the reason they got away with it.
There's a little hole.
There was a little tiny fucking hole.
Yep.
No way.
Bank.
I don't.
Yeah.
The bank, bank dies.
That's a real thing.
Okay.
Well, the next.
I'm not robbing any banks in time soon.
Blow a pack in your face on the way out of a TD bank.
But the pool was one.
That was a myth too.
Right.
The red, the red dye in the, in the pool that followed you around or whatever.
Yeah.
We talked about that.
That's, that can't be real.
There's no way.
I would have seen it for sure.
Somewhere.
Somebody's pool.
I've peed in every, we've talked about this.
I've peed in most pools, if not every pool I've ever been in.
Absolutely.
Every pool.
Do you pee in the pool?
No.
I'll go in the ocean.
Oh, ocean for sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'll dump it in an ocean.
That's like a urinal.
Your boy's dumping in the urinals.
Hey, don't pee in the pool.
Let's go, man.
That's why he got glass clown.
Some guys are about that life.
You know what I mean?
You're like, that's why I do this now.
Different trajectory.
I'm avenging.
That's fantastic.
All right.
This one's from Zach.
Ever run out of gas while driving?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
What do you got?
You're in LA, so you probably have a car, right?
So this happened a couple of times.
On