Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Tom Thakkar Returns!
Uploaded: 2021-12-02T01:15:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Tom Thakkar Returns!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-12-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Tom Thakkar Returns!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-12-02. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Tom Thakkar Returns!

Gang, you only got three more chances to see RU Garbage live.
Yeah, guys, December 14th, 15th, and 16th.
We're going to be in Hartford, Connecticut at the Funny Bone.
We're going to be in Albany, New York at the Funny Bone.
Then we're going to be in Syracuse, New York at the Funny Bone as well.
The Orchman.
Guys, this is a great way to introduce your friends to the show.
If you're coming, bring a couple of pals.
Bring the squad.
It's a good time.
It's stand-up.
We're hanging out.
We play AYG.
You've seen the clips.
What are you doing?
Come out.
We'll see you there.
Let's go.
Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage.
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is RU Garbage.
It's a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find out if
they're going to be classy.
Yeah.
Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day down here at Anthony's
Basement.
She's upstairs sleeping one off.
She lost her shirt yesterday at the Eagles game.
Okay.
And I'm not talking about money either.
All right?
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of RU Garbage.
He's the only guy that makes Dave Portnoy nervous.
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
Don't say that.
I don't need any public feuds.
I'm sure we can't win.
He would squash us like a bug.
He'd have me in a dog collar.
Yeah, let's T-Bone cut that.
We love fun.
What's up, everybody?
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes, even though it
doesn't fucking matter anymore.
Full video available on YouTube, and as you know, those numbers are...
True the roof.
True the fucking roof, baby.
And then patreon.com slash RU Garbage.
I mean, shout out to Al Gore for inventing the internet back in the day,
because patreon.com is the greatest website of all time.
You can sign up, get bonus content, episodes of AYG, episodes of Hard Feelings,
which is a whole other podcast you've never even heard.
Some of our best podcasts, by the way.
Live streams the whole nine yards.
Check it out.
It's absolutely fantastic.
You got Velcro, Get Into The Moon, The Salad Bar, patreon.com.
The fucking pinnacle right there of human existence.
And I have a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire.
The magic man makes us all look good.
You can't see it, but he's wearing a shirt that I hate.
New shirt.
New shirt, T-Bone.
T-Bone McMuffin, Toby McScruffins.
Give it up for him.
What up, dudes?
What up, T-Bone?
Hey, you want to make fun of shirts, bro?
That camo ain't working.
We can all see you.
I can somehow see you more.
Got this from the Air Force Base.
It was covering Hangar 9.
Gay, we could not be more excited to have our incredibly special guest back
with us again today.
He's going to be answering your questions.
This man is on the Mount Rushmore of RU Garbage.
He needs no introduction.
Give it up for Mr. Tom Takar.
Hey, thank you, boys.
Let's go.
It's good to be back.
Let's go.
I love this fucking show, man.
Did not show up with a beer this time, but you showed up with a Diet Dr. Pepper.
I have to cool it a little bit.
I'm still drinking a lot, but I just have to.
The 2 p.m. I can't do right now.
I had a little come to God moment where I was at a Taco Bell cantina.
Oh, my God.
I thought you meant you were shooting heroin.
All right.
I was kicking this party in the open drive.
I was on the business end of a gordita and a lagunitas.
You're not wrong, brother.
That's about it.
That's about it.
They have a happy hour at the Taco Bell cantina.
What?
Where?
It's right next to my gym over on Broadway.
You know, that'll level you out.
I got a car blown before I hit the treadmill.
Here's my sweatpants and a kettlebell.
This is my gym routine.
As I go to McDonald's, I get a big iced coffee.
Take that to the gym.
And then I go to the Taco Bell afterwards and there's a cantina.
And I started going to the happy hour.
And it's $10 and you get a beer and three tacos.
And I got into an argument.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You do get that.
Jesus, dude.
And I got into an argument with the lady at the register because I was like,
hey, I'll take
a beer and the thing.
And she was like, no, you got to get alcohol.
And she meant like the twisted freeze thing.
And I was like, well, the beer is alcohol.
And she was like, no, no, no.
And I was like arguing with this lady about the definition of alcohol at a Taco
Bell.
And I was like, I got to chill a little bit.
Yeah, you should be arguing at a Taco Bell.
No, no, no.
There's no argument where you don't look like a piece of garbage.
Yep, yep, yep.
But I got to cool it a little bit.
But on the 2 p.m. drinking.
A twist of tea ain't a beer, lady.
I'm telling you that right now.
Holy shit.
I just want to say real fast.
I love your fucking fans, man.
It's the only time I've ever read comments because I don't read comments.
It's on videos.
But my lady was like, you got to see these people.
It's funny.
And they're overwhelmingly nice.
They love you.
It's so nice.
But the way they comment is so fucking funny where it's like, this guy is the
biggest piece
of shit I've ever seen.
He's my favorite.
I've never been a bigger piece of garbage in my fucking life.
When are you coming to my town?
I love it.
I bet I could spit in this guy's mouth.
When are you coming to my town?
Not even a specific city.
Like, you know where their town is.
Yep, yep.
What are you coming to?
I love it.
I love them.
I love them.
And like, this isn't me pandering.
I feel like we pander so much, but they're so fucking nuts.
Literally, 99% of the comments on YouTube are nice.
And please don't let this ruin it.
And when someone does comment something to me, people go, shut up, Bozo.
Yeah, I love that.
I love that.
But yeah, I'm not trying to pander at all.
I just thought, I think that's so funny.
I'm just curious.
When you say that you go there for happy hour, are you having one beer or
multiple beers?
I'm having one there.
That's a starter.
That's your pregame.
Yeah, and it's good.
They have the beers that fill up from the bottom.
I don't trust that, dude.
I'm old school.
They never know how to use it either.
I don't trust it.
I don't either.
It's magic.
It doesn't make sense to me, dude.
It's so weird.
I didn't get it.
I saw it happen.
I was like, how the fuck did that happen?
I don't get it.
They got new tech over there, man.
Fucking Star Trek.
What's going on?
Tesla's in the Taco Bell now.
Elon Musk got involved.
That thing blows my mind, too.
It's crazy.
It is such a parlor trick.
Yeah.
It just says how trashy we are.
Ooh, it fills.
The fact that you mentioned it.
It's just nine mouth.
They got the beers that fill up from the bottom.
I felt like I was in the future.
I was like, I'm not supposed to be seeing shit like this.
This is for my grandkids.
You're wiping the bottom and stuff.
Criss Angel comes out of the kitchen.
Well, then I fucked up because it's a little magnet at the bottom, and then I
fucked with
it, and it started leaking.
Mine's leaking.
That just means you have to shotgun that beer.
Drinking's drinking from the bottom.
I got it.
All right.
Let's get it.
We wanted to ask you, the Thanksgiving just passed.
Yes.
What did you do this year, and what was the standard?
What was the standard?
So, usually, I'm a big Black Friday guy.
I love Black Friday.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Dude.
Holy shit.
I love that.
That's like my family's shit.
It's just pushing people around.
Go fight another family?
Yep.
Yep.
It's like, I love Black Friday.
I love the energy.
It's like the purge.
It doesn't say Thanksgiving, like elbowing an old lady in the streets for an
Xbox 3.
Everybody was mad when they moved Black Friday up to Thanksgiving Day, and I
was like,
this is way better.
I like this.
Wait, they did it on Thanksgiving Day?
They do it on Thanksgiving now.
Yeah, they kept moving.
That was maybe like a decade ago or so.
Really?
They kept moving it up more and more.
Walmart kept pushing the envelope.
It would be like Thursday night, and then it was like Thursday afternoon or
whatever.
Now it starts in October.
Yeah.
Damn.
You get a nice pair of, you know, boxers for cheap.
I don't even go.
Boxers?
You go on big ticket items.
I don't even want anything anymore.
I used to go for like DVDs and video games, and then it's like, I'm not going
to fucking
have a DVD in my house.
Wait, back this up.
When did you actually start doing this?
This was when I was probably in high school.
My mom loves it, too.
We love, I told you this last time.
So you guys would go?
My family loves deals.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We would go.
You would go.
Would you sleep out?
I started doing that on my own.
What?
Wait, you would camp out?
I wouldn't sleep, but I would bring a big thing of coffee with some Baileys in
it, and
it was like a party.
I would hang out outside of Best Buy or Target and then be the first in there
to get a TV or
something.
Were you ever in the front of the line?
Never very front, but I was close.
I was close.
You had to get there so early.
It wasn't worth it.
You know?
You don't get to have dinner.
You're fifth in line.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you would talk to the other people in the line.
No, I don't.
You said it was like a party.
He's all business.
No, I was the people I come with.
Oh, okay.
I had like a group of friends.
You got a grill going.
Time's a game start.
Those dogs done yet?
What's happening?
Quick game of cornhole while we're waiting, huh?
Holy shit.
Dude, you would roll with a squat.
Waiting in line for anything is trashy.
Trash.
Unless it's like a heart transplant.
Dude.
Other than that, you got to get off the list.
Unless you're on the liver list.
I waited in line for the COVID shot because I get the early one.
That felt trashy, too.
I mean, you're not waiting for a toaster.
It had the same vibe.
No Baileys, either.
I brought the Baileys.
Wait, so who would actually do this?
This was people.
My college roommates, I got into it.
I was like, let's do it.
And they would be like this.
I kind of get that, though.
Why are you guys around each other on Thanksgiving?
You didn't go home for Thanksgiving?
Some of them were from.
I'm from my college town.
So I would have townie people who would go with me.
And then I would have some of my college roommates would stay in town.
Gotcha.
Yeah.
We're at the college in the same town you grew up.
Where'd you go, Bloomington?
Bloomington, baby.
Yeah.
You.
Yeah.
Hoosiers.
Do you have a favorite Black Friday deal that you've locked down?
Ooh, let's see here.
The funny thing is I would never get anything that good.
You know, it would be like, oh, I can get Double Jeopardy, the Blu-ray.
Yeah.
Great movie, though.
Two dollars.
Two dollars.
It is good.
I don't know why that's what I pulled.
I haven't seen that since the year it came out.
Dude, that blew my mind when you found out that was a lull.
You're like, what?
I know.
You're like, man, I can't wait for this to apply to my life.
Oh, dude, I was waiting to kill somebody.
I was waiting to beat a murder charge just to kill that person again.
Yep.
I can't wait to get V for Vendetta.
I would buy a bunch of...
I would be like, I'm going to get one.
I mean, H2O or whatever.
What is the best thing?
I definitely have gotten TVs and laptops and shit in the past.
And have you been in situations where, like, you're pressed up against a thing
and the game is going up?
Any, like, any hand-to-hand kind of stuffles?
Definitely some pushing around.
The thing that is a real thrill is the old women who will just bust your ass
with their cart.
They have a cart and they're just fucking your shit up.
It's like a mosh pit.
It's thick.
I think they should cut the lights out.
Just put on, like, let the bodies hit the floor.
Just a strobe light?
Let the bodies hit the floor