Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Nerdy Frat w/ Kippy & Foley
Uploaded: 2021-12-06T00:53:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Nerdy Frat w/ Kippy & Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-12-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Nerdy Frat w/ Kippy & Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-12-06. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Nerdy Frat w/ Kippy & Foley

Gang, you only got three more chances to see RU Garbage live.
Yeah, guys, December 14th, 15th, and 16th.
We're going to be in Hartford, Connecticut at the Funny Bone.
We're going to be in Albany, New York at the Funny Bone.
Then we're going to be in Syracuse, New York at the Funny Bone as well.
Guys, this is a great way to introduce your friends to the show.
If you're coming, bring a couple of pals.
Bring the squad.
It's a good time.
It's stand-up.
We're hanging out.
We play AYG.
You've seen the clips.
What are you doing?
Come out.
We'll see you there.
Let's go.
Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage.
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is RU Garbage.
Sure is.
It's a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that
they're good to be classy.
Yeah.
Or if they're just a big old piece of shit.
You don't say.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're down here at Antutti's basement.
She's upstairs trying to get some people together.
Okay.
For what?
She wants to do one of those smash and grab jobs that everyone's doing all over
the country.
Like at the Louis Vuitton or something?
Yeah.
She wants to hit the Louis Vuitton.
Okay.
I told her we were in.
I don't know.
Okay.
Got to do something around the holidays together as a family.
Good thing I brought my mask with me.
My co-host is coming at you from across the table, so you know it's a family ep.
Circle in the wagons.
KJ is in the building, everybody.
Hey, gang.
Happy to be here.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
And as you know, those numbers are...
True to roof.
True to fucking roof.
We've been saying it for a year.
Those numbers are true.
They're cooking.
Closing it on 30,000.
Get us over 30,000.
Even if you listen.
Hit the subscribe button.
Go subscribe because we may or may not have a special project coming out pretty
soon on
a used to...
Yikes.
Leaking it.
Check it out.
You got a T.
You got to leave some breadcrumbs.
Like Tobey Maguire on the set of Spider-Man.
Like Tobey McMuffin on the set of AYG.
And obviously, Patreon.com.
You can sign up.
You get a bunch of bonus content, episodes of AYG, episodes of Hard Feelings.
Which is the breakout hit, by the way.
Oh, everybody loves it.
The Academy.
Khan's talking about it.
Khan.
Scott Khan.
Scott Khan.
Obi Khan.
Live streams.
The whole nine yards.
Check it out.
It's good times.
That's cooking over there.
Cooking.
And how about a nice shout out to, you know, our producer extraordinaire.
Good kid wearing a Bernie's.
Starts with T-bone.
That's right.
Wearing a nice Bernie's crew neck that he got on the AYG presale.
Ooh.
Yeah.
Paid full price like an asshole.
Hey, you got 20% on the back end.
Don't break that kid.
Hey, business is business, all right?
Blood's thicker than water.
Other things.
Oh, my God.
T-bone.
It's good to see you, buddy.
We had a nice ride in.
I love both of you.
You have never been louder in a car ride in our entire friendship.
Yeah.
I'm moaning a lot.
I started with the trainer.
We got a butt plug in.
What's happening?
Hi.
Someone got the remote control at home.
What's happening, dude?
Let me know.
Did you ever see those videos?
Me and my girlfriend are playing Hunger Games right now, huh?
No, I never saw those videos.
Me either.
What were we talking about?
That's what you like?
Electronics?
Jesus.
No, not at all.
Fucking creep.
Not at all.
I don't know why you think when I say, have you seen something, you
automatically think
it's my thing.
That internet's a pretty big place.
I got a lot of videos on there.
Every now and then, something comes across my screen I wasn't ready for.
Or I'll peruse to see what the kids are doing.
Do a little window shopping.
Kick the tires on something.
See what's cooking.
I wanted to ask you this.
What?
A little step back from your pornography talk.
I don't know that.
I was talking about YouTube.
I don't know what you're talking about.
You like the car battery hooked up to the nipples?
You hear what Kipi's doing?
He stuck his dick in a VCR.
Heck.
Those videos were private.
I was hacked.
That's deepfake right there.
Fucking shout out to Steve Jobs.
Come on.
What are we doing?
I noticed this.
What'd you notice there, big guy?
Thanksgiving, I noticed this.
I wanted to get your barometer on it.
What do you think it's...
I don't know.
Sure.
Okay.
This is going to be a silly one.
I can already tell.
You like a turkey neck?
How do you feel about gizzards?
Ooh.
Gizzards can be all right.
Are you a chicken livers, man?
Listen, you know me a long time.
You want to do a little pate, a little chicken liver on a nice crostini?
I'll do a beef pate.
That's a joke from Rev Run.
That really is.
He had his own MTV show.
No big deal.
Continue.
Multiple beverages while someone's eating.
Not at a restaurant.
I'm talking at dinner at home.
That's insane.
Like, you know, like a glass of wine, but then like a soda, a thing of water.
It's very Jersey Shore.
Remember those dirt balls were always drinking Gatorade at every meal?
They always had a bottle of something.
Gotta say hi to you.
Those kids are in a gym.
You know what I mean?
That's true.
No, that's real trashy.
I think like what we would do, we do like the big, if we're doing like a din-din,
like
a Sunday night din-din, I got the families coming together, got the leaf on the
table,
the whole nine yards.
Do you sit at that dining room table that we record at the intro for Are You
Garbage At?
Yeah, we'll do that.
You do?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Huh.
And then the kids will be out in the kitchen, you know.
Right.
We'll be there.
It'll typically be like, everybody will be having a drink beforehand, right?
Like me and my brother are probably doing a beer, brother-in-law doing a beer,
ladies
are doing wines.
My stepdad's doing everything.
And then it'll be like, they'll probably, you know, pour waters at the table.
Like, you know, everybody will have like a water for you at the table.
No one ever touches that, though.
Nah, rarely.
Unless I run out of beer.
Yeah, it's always warm and shit.
We'll do a water at the table.
And then that's about it.
And sometimes, like, my brother might change to wine.
So there might.
But it's more, you know, traditional.
It's not like, you know, no one's got like a fucking milk, you know, a Glacier
Freeze
and a fucking Diet Coke.
Ah, my one cousin.
It looked like fucking the front of a hot dog cart.
He's got those fucking ketchup bottles in the mouth.
A little bit of relish.
That was on my mind.
Yeah.
And this has to annoy you.
How do you feel about people?
Is it you?
By the way, he's thinking about my cool hat.
It's cool.
You've had, listen, you really went hat shopping in Hawaii.
I did.
I really got it.
I got four hats.
I got new pants.
I got a bunch of shirts because you were giving me shit saying that I got to up
my appearance.
Now I'm looking cool.
I got some cologne going.
Now that'll make you look real cool.
That'll hide the Frito smell.
How do you feel?
I don't eat Fritos anymore.
How do you feel about?
God.
I'm on Doritos Lite now.
Dude, Diet Doritos.
I'm on Baked Lays.
Remember the scam?
They try to pull the wool over everybody's eyes.
Those things can kick rocks.
Oh, man.
I'll punch the guy who invented those right in the fucking face.
Baked Lays.
My mom.
I'd rather eat bait, dude.
Hey, give me a Nightcrawler, will you?
Fucking get out of here, dude.
My mom rolled in with those.
Remember when they were doing the chips in like a different kind of oil?
Yeah, that was big.
Yeah.
They found out it ate your liver or something like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's fucking ugly.
It was like castor oil something.
Castor oil.
Not castor oil.
But it was something like that.
It was something weird.
Castor oil is for like ball bearings, isn't it?
No.
Castor oil is when you have to throw up or poop or something like that.
It's like an old school remedy.
Okay.
My mom poured some down my throat one time.
I'm listening.
Sounds like one of my videos.
Guys, we're having fun over here.
Good time.
No, it was either that or Ipecac.
One of them makes you throw up.
No, Ipecac does.
Yeah, she did that.
Castor oil is like an oil.
Oh, okay.
For your shoes or something.
I drank a whole bottle of your shoes.
I don't know.
T-Bone.
We got an update, T-Bone.
I'm trying to kill time.
What are you doing over there?
Yeah, it's for staining decks.
Castor oil is a vegetable oil pressed from castor beans.
I don't even know what the fuck that is.
It's colorless and barely pale yellow liquid with a distinct taste and odor.
And then it's just a bunch of dummies eating this shit for whatever benefits.
There you go.
This seems very crystals.
Yeah, it's got a little homeopathic.
Well, Ipecac works because I puked everywhere.
Yeah, that's what that stuff does.
I drank a whole bottle of cough medicine when I was a kid.
Robo tripping?
I like it.
Trying to take the edge off.
Mom, our class is killing me.
Got a real deep episode of Care Bears.
Wanted to cool off a little bit.
Yeah, she got on top of me like a wrestler and fucking pinged me down and
poured it down my throat.
She does that to me, too.
I tell you, this broad was screwy in the 80s.
Screw balls.
Dude, this shit is snake oil.
Castor oil?
Yeah.
These are the top uses.
It's a powerful laxative.
That's what you're leading off with.
That's crazy.
A natural moisturizer.
So getting your liquid inside and out.
Yeah.
Promotes wound healing.
Yeah, it's all real vague stuff.
If you're pouring oil in wounds, that's no good.
That's not a bad one.
Calling it wounds is bad.
I feel like you're dead anyway.
Reduces acne, fights fungus, and keeps your hair and scalp healthy.
Nice.
So Foley on the toes, Kippy on the dongle.
Bat in the cycle.
I like it.
What?
No, please.
No, please.
Eating ice.
What about it?
How do you feel?
I love it.
We've gone over this.
You chomp ice?
Yeah.
I'm a crushed man through and through.
Oh, that's different.
Obviously, also-
That's dessert.
I forget where we heard it, but it was real garbage of somebody saying a place
has good
ice, which we both do.
Oh, yeah.
They have the good ice.
That's real trashy, but great.
One thing I wanted to run by, which was-
Lay it on me, slick.
Brought to my attention-
Calling something top of the line.
Top of the line.
Real trash.
Top of the line is trash.
I was looking at cabins to rent, and just like holding the wall cabins, and
there was
one with a hot tub, and it said, fully equipped with the top of the line hot
tub.
Didn't even have a lid on this thing.
I feel like whoever-
There was leaves in it.
Whoever wrote that had a toothpick in their mouth.
Real top of the line.
He fit three-
Stop of the line.
He fit eight bodies in this hot tub.
He fit eight broads in here.
Top of the line.
Anything you call top of the line is not top of the line.
What's top of the line?
Give me a top of the line item.
Makita drills?
Makita drills?
Milwaukee.
Milwaukee.
Top of the line?
Yeah, but I think-
Listen, this-
Okay, I'm going to break it down for you.
Things that are top of the line.
Mercedes-Benz, top of the line.
Yeah, but you wouldn't-
You know Mercedes is top of the line, so you don't need to say top of the line.
When you say top of the line, it means it's not top of the line.
You're going, Hyundai, top of the line automobile right there.
Oldsmobile, top of the line.
Yeah, it's not.
Mercedes is.
I've never known anybody that drove an Oldsmobile.
You ever seen anybody that drove-
Speaks for itself.
Kia Forte, smoke gray.
Speaks for itself.
Boy, that's a new giveaway, by the way.
You can take over my lease.
Top of the line.
Top of the line would be-
It's something that's not top of the line.
You're trying to tell someone-
Sony's top of the line.
Yeah, but you just say it's Sony.
That's what