Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Adam Ray - Seattle Kid
Uploaded: 2021-12-20T01:45:51.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Adam Ray - Seattle Kid' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-12-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Adam Ray - Seattle Kid' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-12-20. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Adam Ray - Seattle Kid

Gang, if you're watching this or listening to this episode today, it comes out
on Monday.
The special drops tomorrow, December 21st, 2021.
It drops, and we need the entire army of garbage to help spread the word.
So if you're not subscribed to the podcast, subscribe right now on YouTube.
Tell everybody, your grandmother, your grandfather, sisters, brothers, cousins,
ex-girlfriends,
I don't give a shit, just make sure you juice the numbers, baby.
We need it. We love you. Bye.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
It's a little show.
We sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find out if they grow it to be
classy or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day down here in Antutti's
basement.
She's upstairs a little upset.
Toys for Tots.
She went out.
She bought a toy.
She went to the local bar.
Thought she was going to get a tater tot appetizer for free, but that's not how
it fucking works.
Okay.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
Brand new country album out right now.
Number one on the fucking charts.
Give it up for Kevin James Ryan.
KJ.
Hey, what's up, gang?
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube, and as you know, those numbers are...
True to roof.
Fucking cooking, baby, and then it's the holiday season.
If you got an extra couple of bucks laying around, and you want to send a gift
pass to somebody,
send it to patreon.com slash RUGarbage, baby.
You can sign up.
You get a bunch of bonus content, AYG, hard feelings, live streams, the whole
nine yards.
Do it.
Merry Christmas and happy holidays with Jack Conte and Sam Yam, and both of
their beautiful, wonderful families.
They're amazing people.
Stanford grads, those two.
Smart kids.
Smart kids.
We love them.
A couple of eggheads.
That's the way we like it, baby.
How about a nice quick shout out?
Speaking of egghead, to our producer extraordinaire, the magic man makes us all
look good.
Didn't appreciate the egghead comment.
You can't see him.
Give it up for T-Bone McMuffin, Toby McMullen.
What's up, dudes?
What up, T-Bone?
Good to see you, buddy.
Very, very, very excited to have our incredibly special guest here with us for
the first time today.
From the coast.
Ooh, yeah.
Out there in La La Land.
It's Hollywood.
Rollerskating, I bet.
I'm more of a rollerblade, bitch.
Muscleman on Venice Beach.
He's on the rings.
This young man is a very successful, very funny stand-up comedian, actor, and
podcaster.
Get a load of these fucking credits right here, because we got a little star
power in this dump.
Let's start out here.
Human Giant, According to Jim, Two Broke Girls, Workaholics, The Heat, Rick and
Morty, Real House Husbands of Hollywood, Spy, Silicon Valley, Ghostbusters, Mad
TV, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Bowler, Second Act, Arrested Development, Robot
Chicken, The Bellman, Power, Young Rock, American Dad, Hacks.
Love that show.
Late Night with Greg Ferguson.
Gotham Comedy Live.
Chelsea Lately at midnight.
The Church of What's Happening Now.
Tiger Belly.
Lights Out with David Spade.
And, of course, he is the host of the amazing podcast about last night.
But the big question in everybody's mind today, is he garbage?
He's out here doing a corporate gig from Hollywood.
The kid's an earner.
He shows up, good-looking kid, put together, brings his own burrito with him.
BYOB, baby.
That's L.A. if I ever seen it.
He had that on a plane.
That was a carry-on burrito.
He couldn't be more Hollywood if he was splitting that with Paris Hilton.
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the one and the only, Mr. Adam Ray.
Hey, thanks, fellas.
Yeah.
The kid's here.
I thought about not bringing the burrito, but then I thought.
I thought I was like, that would probably be a nice topic of conversation.
Just a spot.
I have to fish through my Uber Eats.
Just a random spot.
I am a burrito on the plane guy, though.
Is that a weird one?
Wow.
Oh, my God.
He's L.A. types.
Really?
Fuck.
That's bad.
I mean, I'm just a big burrito guy.
My buddy called me.
Where will you get the burrito?
In the airport.
Oh, yeah.
And then just roll on the plane.
I mean, that's a risky move if you're bringing it from home.
You're putting it in a Ziploc bag.
I've seen that, by the way.
Getting it through security.
Dude, I've seen people.
I mean, and I have gotten accosted for, like, some of my eats and treats on the
plane.
I had a British woman in front of me once.
It's a lot.
Turn around, and I open.
I had a sandwich.
I don't know if it was tuna, but it definitely stopped.
It wasn't tuna.
Dude, you can't have tuna in a pressurized cab.
It's a good way to open.
And so, again.
Somebody crack a window.
Dude.
So, I start to take a bite, and she turns around, and I have my headphones on.
And I see her just through the crack of the seats, just turn around, kind of
looking, just, like, staring at me.
So, I can feel her staring.
So, I'm like, now it's just on me to decide when to look up and lock eyes with
her.
Sure.
So, I see her looking, and I know she's definitely pissed.
So, I took a little bit more time.
I kind of, like, peeled things down, and kind of, I even, like, just kind of,
for effect, was like, because I knew she was watching me.
And I was like, fuck you, bitch.
Like, I know you don't like this move right now, but I'm committing to it.
So, I start to take a bite, and then I hear her start talking.
And I got the headphones on, but I can still see her and feel her energy.
So, I kind of then take them off.
I go, what's up?
And she goes, are you really going to eat that?
And I was like, yeah, bro, on the plane.
I go, and I got a second one in the bag.
So, saddle up.
You know, it's going to be a long flight to Tucson.
And then, and then she, ding, calls the guy over, and he comes over, and I see
her.
Again, headphones on, but I'm just watching all this from my periphery, and she's
like, so, then I see the guy just like, oh, all right.
And then I see him, like, do that to me.
And so, I go, yeah, what's up?
He goes, hey, you're killing me.
Yeah, like, but he doesn't want to have to, like, call me out for this.
He's like, dude, I'm trying to fucking make sure we don't crash.
Like, there's other things going on.
Who's going to fly the plane?
Put your white fish away, will you?
Yeah, yeah, put your white fish away.
So, then he's just like, can you stop eating the sandwich?
I go, not only can I not stop eating it, I got a second one lined up ready to
go.
Doubling down on his family.
And he kind of smirks, and he just goes, he goes, come on, man.
And I go, I don't know what to tell you, man.
Like, you know, we both bought seeds.
And he goes, yeah, dude, just turn this into some sort of sandwich fiasco.
And I was like, all right.
I was like, I'll take two more bites and put it away.
Cool.
And then the woman's like, she goes, two more bites.
And the guy was like, he said two more bites, and then I'll put it away.
Me in the middle here.
Yeah, me in the middle.
I'm trying to.
Yeah, dude.
I'm with the British lady, man.
That's trash.
What are you doing?
I know.
Were you in first class or coach?
No, this was coach.
That's a coach move.
That's a real coach move.
I was first class on the way here.
I was able to get bumped up.
And so that's where I feel like, you know, you do whatever the fuck you want.
What, did you have Korean barbecue up there?
What did you think?
You got your own hibachi?
What's going on?
Wagyu.
We had every flavor of Dunkaroos.
We had Capri Suns without the straws.
They just squeeze it into your mouth.
Holy shit.
What is the back story of Mr. Adam Ray?
Where did you grow up?
Give us the whole scoop.
Totally.
I grew up in Lake Forest Park, Washington.
Okay.
It was like a real small suburb, about 25 minutes north of Seattle.
Nice.
Upper middle class.
Nice.
Or are we talking like Kurt Cobain's neighborhood?
I mean, every part of Seattle has pockets where it feels like you could go from
poor food stamps
to like, oh, they got a sports court, you know, in the backyard.
So there was different pockets.
I mean, the house I grew up in when my folks were together was, I guess, pretty
nice.
Two-car garage, right?
Big driveway.
That's pretty good, right?
A plum tree.
Ooh.
Plum tree.
We never put, but it was just, it was in a nice neighborhood, and then they
split, and
then we moved not too far from there.
But again, so with my mom and sis, that was definitely like a downgrade.
Yeah.
Okay.
Where it was just like, you know, it just was shittier.
And then after that, then my sister went to a girl's school, and it was just my
mom and
I, and then even shittier from that, and a true, like, I didn't want to have
people
over.
Like, I remember the first time a girl came over, and I was just like, yeah, we're
just staying
here for the time being.
We're just laying low until the feds get off our back.
That app takes off.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
I got drunk and burned down our mansion last night.
You know how it is.
It had a sports court and all.
Yeah, what's a sports court?
That's like, in the backyard, right?
Sports court is one of those, it's like a, it's basically a, I guess, tennis
court.
Basketball, tennis.
It has a basketball hoop, racquetball.
Oh, okay, I gotcha.
It's an all-purpose.
I gotcha.
There was one guy in our neighborhood that had one, and we would, like, drive
and look
at it, like, as a family.
Oh, yeah.
Get a load of these guys.
It was a hot commodity.
I hear they're playing.
Oh, those are the families that gave out king-size candy bars on Halloween.
Oh, fuck yeah.
It was almost like, do you remember when, like, Fisher Price or whoever had the
three-in-one,
like, pool table, fucking Yahtzee board, and Bukkake, fucking, you know, it was
some sort
of three-in-one.
Sure.
Ping-pong, ski-ball, billiards.
I had one in the basement.
You did, yeah.
The Thunderdome.
Oh, my God.
That's what you called the basement, or that was the game?
That was the basement.
It was $5 cover charge.
Ladies drink for free.
That was the safe word when your friends came down?
Holy shit.
Where did your, where did your dad go from there?
So my dad, so, so then they, they split.
And how old are you when this happens?
I was, I mean, eight and a half, nine.
Okay.
And so, uh.
Sister's older or younger?
Sister's two years older.
And I, for me, I was like, all right, we get two, I get two houses now.
That's kind of how I viewed it.
Until you saw the house.
Until I saw the house, and then went to my dad's and saw where they were
staying,
which was also kind of a shithole, but not too far.
And then, you know, my stepmom was Filipino, and so there's a lot of kimchi
around,
and I was like, I don't, what the, what the fuck is that?
And then she would make fun of me for smuggling Doritos under the couch,
because I was, you know, just, I love snacks.
And so, um, so then, uh, went back home.
Mom and I were just chilling for a while.
Um.
Wait, so when they got to divorce, you went and lived with your dad?
With my mom.
Okay.
Every other weekend with the dad, yeah.
Oh, okay.
Every weekend with the dad.
But both were kind of like, um.
How quick did he get remarried?
Pretty quick.
Okay.
That's why they split, yeah.
Gotcha.
Say no more.
Having a stepmom's a weird thing.
It's like, I've always said this, it's like, like, if someone brings, like,
crystal clear Pepsi to Thanksgiving,
you're like, all right, nobody wanted this, but we'll take a couple of sips,
because dad brought it.
Let's be respectful.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Um, and, uh, but, uh, it got real quiet.
Does everyone here have a stepmom?
No, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I have one.
Do I just kind of strike a chord?
No, I have one, too.
Do 