Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Akaash Singh Returns!
Uploaded: 2022-02-03T02:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Akaash Singh Returns!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Akaash Singh Returns!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-03. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Akaash Singh Returns!

Gang, the middle-class famous tour is about to be in full effect.
Come out and see us.
It's a great way to introduce some new people to the show.
So grab the homies, grab the ladies, the birds, the bozos, everybody, and come
see us.
Yeah, guys, we're going to be in Hartford, Albany, Syracuse, Atlanta, Tampa,
Orlando, Pittsburgh, Buffalo.
We ain't done yet.
Detroit, Denver, Phoenix, Salt Lake City, Chicago.
Then over there to Roseman.
And that's just the first leg of the tour.
Going to be coming, so get the techies.
We'll see you there.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
It's a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find out if
they're good to be classy or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a glorious day down here at Antony's
basement.
Yeah.
She is officially off probation.
Good for her.
So, we got that going.
We're going to break out a little champagne later.
Okay.
Maybe do a little drinking and driving.
Have a little fun with it.
Back in the roundhouse.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He is an international businessman he is not to be trifled with.
They say he's the guy that brought down Merrill Lynch, but we'll never know.
I'm more of an Enron man.
Give it up for KJ.
Hey, gang.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube, and as you know, those numbers are...
Through the roof.
...fucking cooking.
And obviously, I'm contractually obligated by law.
I think it's a federal law now to mention patreon.com slash RU Garbage.
Yes, sir.
The greatest website of all time.
You can sign up.
You get bonus content.
Episodes of AYG.
Episodes of Hard Feelings.
Live streams.
The whole fucking nine yards.
Check it the fuck out.
Check it the fuck out.
And having a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire, the man who
makes us all look good.
Puts the lipstick on the piggies.
Give it up for T-Bone McScruffins, Toby McBuggins.
What's up, dudes?
What up, T-Bone?
Bug free is the way to be.
Here we go.
I was going to say something about how Akash makes me feel talented and loved,
and you make me feel like a beast.
That's my goal, buddy.
You're the best.
You're the best.
I do it because I love you.
All right?
Foley, what made you pick turquoise as a beanie?
It's so not you.
I'm not going to deal with this on my own podcast.
It's ridiculous.
Dang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly special guest back
with us again today.
He's a part of the goddamn family around here.
All right?
Co-host of Flagrant 2.
Got a brand new special that came out last night.
It's already cooking.
It's called Bring Back Apu.
You know him.
You love him.
Give it up for Akash thing.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Attacking my style.
Thank you.
Why is it turquoise not me?
It just doesn't seem Aunt Tootie.
I think it pops.
Aunt Tootie wouldn't buy turquoise.
I feel like Bieber.
She might take it from Goodwill, but I don't think she would buy turquoise.
She also drinks cooking wine.
I'm not doing that.
I'm not taking my fashion tips from her.
Up there drinking Marcella wine on the rocks.
On the rocks.
I think you're losing a little weight.
A little.
I think I'm losing a little weight.
We're not doing a weigh-in.
We're not checking the weight for at least a month or so.
Why is that?
It would be pretty good right now, though.
I just reminded him we have the scale under the couch.
Not going to happen.
Why, why?
Why?
It's redistributing.
I don't know what that's going to say.
It's all on his ankles.
His shoes won't tie.
My trainer just squeezes me every day.
He puts you in a corset every day?
Like a wet towel.
But he's been hitting the gym.
I'm very proud of him.
He's been hitting the gym.
He's not a trainer.
You look good.
Thank you, man.
Thank you.
Thank you.
We're trying here.
How's it going?
We're about three months into the therapy.
Three months?
Oh, therapy.
Therapy, we're about three months in.
And the trainer, we're two months in.
So it's been good.
That's great.
And a lot of them did it from you, buddy.
Amen.
You encouraged me.
You put the fucking screws to me is what you did.
And you put it in their mind for me to get a trainer.
And now it's fucking hard as shit to lie and get around.
Kippy's entire future, Kippy, give me some.
His entire future is tethered to you.
Think about that.
Fat guys are a dime a dozen.
There's a pizza place right around the corner.
I'll just have Ian Fidey and start bulking up.
And you'll be out too sweet.
Start putting creatine in his Pellegrino.
Get Ian all bulked up.
Nah, you and Ian got good chemistry too, but y'all's chemistry is fucking
phenomenal.
Oh, thank you.
And it doesn't work if you keep being fat.
I think I've painted him.
I mean, we do on Patreon.
I'm in the tightest corner I've ever been.
We do fat court.
Well, I'm still pulling some moves every once in a while.
Yeah, he's got a couple of dances.
Buddy, every corner is a tight corner.
I've got a couple of cheeseburgers up my sleeve.
But he has.
I'm very proud of him to get the ball rolling.
No, it's great.
To be where you are.
Three days a week at the gym.
I've got a...
Four days at Arby's.
They're my off days.
The gym is that new diner on 46th Street, by the way.
And yeah, walking the rest of the time.
The diet is, you know, something that we're slowly kind of, you know, modifying.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
It's not about going for food.
Thank you.
Yeah.
It's about making decisions.
Like my trainer was saying, if you get a cheeseburger, don't get the fries.
Or if you get a cheeseburger...
Who is your fucking trainer?
That's the worst advice.
Colonel Sanders?
What are you talking about?
That's crazy.
If you get a cheeseburger, don't get the fries?
Put down the burger, you fat fuck.
Go to Guy Fieri Physical Therapy.
Take you to Flavortown, baby.
Emeril also works there.
Bang!
No, just, you know, it's a process.
It's a process.
Yeah.
You know, there's some steps forward, there's some steps back.
But, you know, that's the way it goes.
I mean, you're giving a fucking...
There is no trainer.
I've been lying the whole time.
I'm in a rebuilding season.
That's what we're doing.
You're talking like you just lost the Super Bowl.
I got a couple of good prospects in the G League right now, though.
I'll tell you that.
Foley just read us his December 31st Instagram caption from when he didn't lose
weight.
Yeah, I'm in therapy.
A lot of steps forward.
A lot of steps backward.
New year, new me.
I look like a human boomerang just so I can go back and forth.
New me in 2023.
Gang, you got the spesh.
Yes, sir.
Let's talk.
Yeah, man.
I put out my first special.
I'm super excited about it.
I ran it.
You guys saw it.
Yes, I've seen it a good amount of times, I feel.
But yeah, I ran it.
One of the days I filmed it, I had y'all featuring for me.
Yes.
Nice.
At the Stress Factory.
That's what it's called, right?
Yeah, Stress Factory.
So I put it out.
It's called Bring Back a Poo.
And I wanted to put it out pre-pandemic.
And then obviously, you couldn't do stand-up for a year.
And I was thinking, after the pandemic was over, I was like, I want to make
sure I still
felt this way about things.
And I was still passionate about it.
And I was.
So as I got my legs back underneath me, stand-up-wise, I was like, this is it.
This is the special.
Let's put it out.
About a half hour-ish.
And the idea is all kind of centered around this whole privilege conversation
that we have.
Where we say, like, white men have all the privilege.
And to me, it's like, bro, if you're in America, you probably got a lot of
privilege.
Yeah.
You tell them.
Yeah.
And look, I'm going to say one time, I know black people, this doesn't really
apply to
y'all because y'all have been systemically fucked.
Everybody else, you are lucky you'd be here.
My parents told me about every day how lucky I was to be in America and not how
they grew
up.
Rubbing your face in that shit.
Son, they would make me feel like shit.
Rubbing your face in a Pop-Tart.
Hey, you little fucker.
100%.
My mom told me when she came to this country, before she came, her cousins told
her.
This is what they, there was no internet.
It was the 60s or whatever, 50s.
They said, when you turn on the faucets in America, honey comes out.
Because that's what they thought America was.
Damn.
And that's where they were coming from.
It's a fully, oh, fuck.
That was a fat joke and I couldn't get it out.
God damn it.
They started flying in my head too quick.
I was going to ask you what neighborhood you're talking about.
I think I know where I'm moving to.
I remember I knew I was fat when I was a kid.
We'd talk about the land of milk and honey.
Remember that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that would just make me so hungry.
Horny, you mean?
Foley, stop that.
Sorry, teach.
No, but I get, and I see like Indians kind of talking about white male
privilege and this
and that.
And I'm like, yo, you sound so fucking thankless to me.
You sound like a spoiled brat.
You sound like a kid in a two-story house complaining about a kid in a gated
community.
And it's like, yo, shut the fuck up.
You got a house.
You have a beautiful house.
You have a beautiful family, most likely, a beautiful culture.
So I'm mainly talking to my people, people that are from where I'm from.
But I think a lot of immigrant kids, hopefully this will resonate with them.
And then anybody who's just a fan of me in general and like comedy that's not
supposed
to be on the quote-unquote right side of what, you know.
It's a little edgy.
This guy's a little edgy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's kind of doing this kid.
If we're not edgy, we're not having fun, you know.
Sure, no.
If I'm saying shit.
I've seen a couple people leave your show mid-show.
Have I ever cared?
No, of course.
One of them was because of you.
What are you talking about?
Yeah, it was that, oh, yeah.
You walk somebody at my show?
Yeah, you insulted some Jets cheerleader or something like that.
No, it was, her husband was like the special team coach of the Jets.
She's like, do you know who my husband is?
I'm like, I don't give a fuck.
Nobody knows who he is.
They're the Jets, dog.
Bitch, you're threatening me with a kicker.
What?
A kicker?
Yeah.
A kicker?
I'm like, what, you're going to not let me walk on next season?
Get the fuck out of here.
Good for you.
I love walking people.
That's the best, dude.
Get out.
Go.
It hurts me.
I'm not a big fan of it, but still.
Oh, dude.
Please don't leave.
I'm sorry.
No, you're going to get more.
As you get to do this more, I didn't get to headline until like 2020.
I was like 12 years in.
So in a certain sense, I had a lot of growing to do, but in a certain sense, I
was pretty
refined as a comic.
Sure, of course.
And one way I was refined is like, I don't, people are going to get up and get,
that's
fine.
That's going to happen.
But as you get more confident in your ability and as you start headlining more
and you strengthen
that muscle, people leaving won't attack your insecurity as much because it's
like, oh, I'm
funny.
So you can leave if you want to.
Not all of you are going to find me funny.
That's, that's fine.
Yeah.
You're very okay with that.
I'm not.
Which we are not okay with that at all.
I'm up there tap dancing.
They love me.
I'd follow them to the parking lot and do a show just for them.
Yo, you want to talk about therapy.
This is some therapy shit and this is so hacky comic talk, but it's a literal
thought I used
to have in my head when they would be calling me on stage.
Eastville was the only club I was passed in for the longest and they'd be
calling me up
on like a Thursday, Friday night or Friday, S