Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Rachel Wolfson - Las Vegas Girl
Uploaded: 2022-03-03T00:51:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Rachel Wolfson - Las Vegas Girl' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Rachel Wolfson - Las Vegas Girl' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-03. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Rachel Wolfson - Las Vegas Girl

stop the presses gang got a special announcement the middle class famous tour
is in full effect
get your tickies me the bald one the long hair we're coming to a city near you
bring the squad
out it's a great way to introduce people to the show you get to see some stand-up
you get to play
a little ayg with me and the kipperino it's a good time hit me up yeah guys we're
gonna be in
atlanta tampa orlando pittsburgh buffalo detroit denver phoenix salt lake city
chicago rose man
guys it's a great time can't wait to see you out there get your tickies now
yeah welcome to another
exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your
favorite comedians are classy
individuals or absolute trash now here are your hosts kevin ryan and h foley
hey everybody out
there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast this is are you
garbage it's a little show
we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that if they grew up to be
classy or to just
a big old piece of trash i'm your host h foley coming at you on a beautiful day
we're down here at
anthony's basement she is extremely excited for our guest i was upstairs she
has a baby pool out in the
backyard and she's on the roof with a football okay my co-host is coming at you
from right next to me
he is the ceo of are you garbage he wears many toupees in the organization he's
an international businessman
we love him give it up for kj kevin james ryan everybody hey gang thanks for
tuning in as always please make sure you rate view subscribe on itunes full
video available on youtube and as you know those numbers are
true to the roof just hit 40 000 subscribers uh and then obviously the greatest
website of all time
www.patreon.com slash are you garbage sign up get a bunch of content it's
fucking nice check it out
very nice and how about a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire
the target audience
look at him t-bone mcscruffins toby mcbuttons everybody let's go dude i'm hyped
up finally got
someone rad down here to these normal bozos somebody kick me in the nuts to
fire this thing up to toby was
out front in a shopping cart yeah he's been chugging code red since last night
because gang we could
not be more excited to have our incredibly and i mean incredibly special guest
here with us today we
got a little star power in the building she is one of the stars of the juggernaut
hit jackass forever
she is a very funny stand-up comedian and actor but the big question about his
mind today is she garbage
she's the only person i ever met that was bitten by a scorpion what so we're
gonna go from there
give it up for rachel wolfson everybody thank you guys thank you for having me
thank you buddy
thank you for coming in we know you're running around you're busy we appreciate
it i'm happy to be
here nice fill us in on the scoop i've heard a couple of things i've heard las
vegas yes uh yeah
born and raised in las vegas which is uh you know some would say that that
could be a trash city
um i think everybody yeah i don't think i don't think there's a lot of people
that's ten out of
ten dentists right there people people go there to get trashed um you know and
uh so yeah i born and
raised there but not in the city city right um well you weren't going to high
school with the bellagio
no i mean um we i'm we ended up as i got older moving to the suburbs of las vegas
but you started out
you guys you were in the city i mean my zip code is las vegas like las vegas is
more than just the
strip yeah um you know there's uh there's you know surrounding areas and
whatnot and then like as i
got older and my parents started doing well they moved us to the suburbs were
you in an apartment
when you when you were first born when i first born i don't remember if i was
in an apartment or
like it was like in the bridal suite it was like yeah circus circus i'm like
did caesar's palace
have a basement i can't remember um but yeah it was uh you know they were just
starting off in their
career when i was born so um i mean it it as as i got older the um the living
quarters got better
that's the first time i ever heard it referred to as living quarters so that's
pretty good because
what i picture is either somebody lives like near the strip like uh like william
h macy in the cooler
or you live out in the kind of burbs like where yeah deniro lived in casino
right that's what i'm
picturing yeah that's that you're you're you're what you're picturing is
accurate okay um so yeah
i was born born and raised there and uh when i was 17 my parents sent me to a
lockdown in
provo utah for a year what's a lockdown uh it's a uh it's like a it's like a
therapy the term is
technically a therapeutic boarding school it's like a school for troubled youth
essentially like
steal you in the middle of the night yeah i didn't get i didn't get escorted
but like a bunch of people
did yeah my parents like dropped me off some some have fun right some some
parents would lie to their
kids and be like we're going on a ski trip to utah jesus like the dog and the
vet right like so
fucked up so holy my parents at least like i knew where i was going but i didn't
realize like what it
was like when i got there so i was there for my senior year of high school were
you looking forward
to it at all or was it like this is what was going on at the time honestly okay
so i i got caught
sneaking out of the house and i was having like i was just having issues at
home and um i wasn't a
good student i was in my senior year and my parents were concerned about my
future okay um and so i think
in their mind they thought this would be a good place for me to have some
structure and discipline
um and yeah it was it was um sucked yeah it sucked i just saw her go back there
i'm gonna get out of
here i mean yeah it was yeah so um but i you know i don't regret it i think it
it made it built my
character was it not was it a nice facility uh no it was in an abandoned church
that they what they
transformed into like a school for troubled kids oh so not like the x-men
school we're not talking
oh no it's not like hogwarts or anything it's um yeah so uh so yeah that was i
was there for for 13
months and then i i graduated with my high school diploma there okay um and
then i ended up going to
college um in vermont for two years okay uh at a school for kids who have
learning differences okay is
what the is what we call it now nicely played she's had media training i have
actually yeah of course
um when i was growing up uh people thought i was disabled it just turns out i
was different um
we got rebranded um so shout out the marketing yeah so uh with yeah um so i was
there for two years
and i honestly that's where i learned how to like write a paper because i
missed out i was just
bad at school i went to okay my most of my high school and a middle school was
in a religious
school setting all kinds of religions like growing up pre-k through eighth
grade i went to a jewish
school my freshman year of high school i was at a catholic school um yeah and
then that i was
there for your parents what are your parents are jewish um we're not religious
okay but yeah so like
um so then but there was no jewish high schools at the time and the catholic
school was like down near
where they worked so it was like convenient for them it was just not convenient
for me as a jew
did you have to pretend you were italian walking around no they like knew
badre hey don good to see you buddy they knew i was they knew like they could
they could smell me
like you know um something feels off in the church throwing holy water at her
every day
lock the doors no one leaves they're like as soon as i like got blamed for jesus's
death i was like
maybe i should i feel like it was rachel yeah i'm like i i think i should
transfer to him i'm six i
know and so i ended up leaving there and going to a lutheran school which is
way was there no public
schools what's happening out there see the public school in vegas probably dicey
um it's not well
it's just a bunch of grifters massive dude they're they're like small i mean it's
like any other city
they're like 5 000 kids i i would have gotten lost in the system and i also had
like you know school
was really difficult for me so you need extra attention yeah so um so that so
my mom was like
well we'll send you to this lutheran school um and i was there for like two and
a half years and then
that's when i got sent to the lockdown so um so i ended up going to college in
vermont for two years
is that what they call it is the lockdown it's a locked i i call it a lockdown
because you're not
allowed to leave you weren't allowed to leave no no you you had to earn like
you had to go through
a program you weren't even allowed shoes when you first got there because they
were afraid you're
gonna run god damn yeah it's like kid prison but i don't want to insult actual
people who've gone
to prison but it's it's it's like you know the the idea is to rehabilitate and
reform i imagine the
cafeteria sucked oh my god they're what they serve this one meal they called
steak
but it was just like this gray piece of meat that you could yeah and like there
was always cats
in the kitchen so i'm just like i don't know what i don't know mr sprinkles i
don't know i just i
don't know i don't know what i was ever really eating um i had a bunch of homies
who went to
similar programs they make you sleep on the ground outside so there a lot of
these programs um are
associated with wilderness programs and my parents they didn't send me to a
wilderness program which
um i was always curious about how that would have turned out for me because
they send these kids to
a program like that in the middle of winter to like march around all day and
set up tents and like
fuck make their own food because it's like they're they're they're doing like
the mori method you
know they're like trying to scare you straight yeah yeah yeah like and gym
class and a little kickball
yeah no um none of that um and and so like kids would like get sick or um have
frostbite and would
have to end up going to like being filtered into these um facilities because
they're indoor like one girl
i remember she came to us from a wilderness program and she showed up with giardia
do you know what that
is you get it from drinking dirty water so she was like drinking from the
rivers and the creeks
not thinking um maybe i shouldn't be doing that and she ended up getting like i
think it's like a
virus or a disease or something you have it forever you have it forever yeah
she i think she has it i
think you have it forever i don't know but anyway so i so i was there for so i
i left there i graduated i
got out and then um i was in vermont for two years i graduated from there and
then i transferred to
american dc in washington university that's a great school it's a great school
but i was definitely
the dumbest person in all my classes and like i don't know i just i thought
maybe i would go into
either um like tv news reporting because i was in the school of communications
um which to me is like
such a joke when you tell people you're a communication major uh um and then um
i was
there for about a year and i realized like the um becoming a tv news reporter
is not how it seems
on tv like when you they make you cut your hair you have to move to kentucky
and report on animals
you have to do these like weird markers yeah it's just like i i just was like
no i don't really
want to do that yeah you have to like start out working like to be close you
know what i mean
you're doing you can't just start headlining no you're not in la you're not new
york you're in
fucking alabama and uh you're not walking in a 30 rock you're doing doing the
weather in minneapolis
a buddy of mine was a weatherman he had to start out like in some you know like
omaha or some bumble
fuck city in the middle of nowhere and like work his way up the ranks yeah and
and so um and so i i
was there for like a year and then 