Name: Are You Garbage LIVE! Florida is TRASH! (2022)
Uploaded: 2022-03-25T20:47:47.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage LIVE! Florida is TRASH! (2022)' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage LIVE! Florida is TRASH! (2022)' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-25. Transcript available.

Is it garbage if the Florida side of your family's biggest Christmas Eve
tradition is Sloppy Joe's?
Dude, that's the saddest shit I ever heard.
Father?
Will Santa Claus bring us more chili dogs this year?
Father?
Dude.
I ain't gonna lie, I'm fucking down with a Sloppy Joe.
And if it did so happen to be Christmas and there was a fucking fresh crock pot
full of them and a couple of fucking potato buns, I'd get into the holiday
spirit, as they say.
Are you making homemade or is it Manwich?
No, it's fucking homemade.
So it's like a tradition.
All right, let's not fucking get all uppity.
He's actually all hoity-toity.
It's actually homemade, all right?
Beautiful question.
Wait, who makes it?
So, we switch off every year.
Of course.
Oh, that's real trashy.
Who doesn't have it today?
There's no quality control on that.
That's not a tradition.
Well, it dates back.
It's like back to the day.
It dates back.
Stop.
I heard they ate it on the Mayflower, I swear.
The Nina, the Pinta, and the Sloppy Joe, everybody knows that.
We still got the boat in the garage, I swear to fucking God.
I'm telling you right now.
It was the fifth generation that started.
Dude, that's crazy.
This guy's dropping fifth generations.
They were so poor back in the day.
Well, I didn't think they were the Kennedys.
They were so poor.
I just thought they were rich people having fun, you know?
What should we have tonight?
The goose?
No, the Tater Tots.
Let's have the Tater Tots casserole instead.
Oh, that's great.
That's a fucking home run of a question.
Clap it up, Randy, everybody.
Give him a big round of applause.
I told you, Tampa came to fucking play, baby.
And yeah, I say it is trash, but they're probably fucking fantastic.
And a couple of those and a glass of fucking ice cold milk would fucking knock
me the fuck
out.
So I'm up here talking shit, but I'll see you around the holidays is what I'm
pretty
much saying.
Where's Matthew C. at?
Here.
What's up, brother?
How are you?
You're the jack dude we saw in the, yeah, it's all in the parking lot.
This guy's all fucking yoked up.
Yeah, this dude's fucking tight.
What's up, bro?
Sex, you're coming to Tampa.
I'm like, all right, fuck.
Regretting Tampa already.
You look like a Power Ranger on his night off.
You really do, man.
Especially down here, you got the fucking look and everything.
Yeah.
He's killing it.
Who are you here with, buddy?
My old roommate.
Your old roommate?
What happened there?
I've never heard anybody say, oh, that's a friend then.
Yeah.
Old roommate, some shit went down over the cable bill for sure.
We used to be in business together.
Still waiting on the courts to settle it.
Oh, man.
This, well, you look good, but.
Only on the outside, eh, pretty boy?
You're going to get booed in a second.
So before that happens, thanks for coming, buddy.
Yeah.
If I don't see you after the melee, thanks.
No.
Does reusing the same razor for a year at a time because you don't want to pay
for a new one make you garbage?
And test positive for hepatitis, I believe.
Dude, what are we doing?
What are you, a Civil War soldier?
What the fuck?
Is it a disposable razor?
What?
Dude, you can't even buy just one of them.
They come back to like 30.
I'm good for the next 50 years.
Oh, dude.
Holy shit.
No wonder why their buddy moved out.
Okay, you come out, your fucking face all sliced up every morning.
Hey, want to get some breakfast?
No, I'm good.
I'm all right.
I'm late.
Bleeding in your cereal and shit?
Why?
What?
You just.
It doesn't grow hair.
Oh, the roommate's turpin' in.
Oh, okay.
Now we're fucking getting down to it.
I knew it was deeper than I got a new job.
Yeah.
We thought you were over it, but no.
Grudges stay long.
So you don't have a lot of facial hair is what you're saying?
Yeah.
But like one a year, man.
What are you?
How often do you shave?
That's crazy.
I don't care if you're a baby.
Come on, dude.
How often do you shave?
So you use a disposal razor a hundred times?
A year?
Dude, that's crazy.
Recommended use?
Three times, ladies and gentlemen.
Three times, doctor recommended use of a disposable razor.
Holy shit, dude.
Clap it up for Matthew.
That's going to haunt me in the.
I'm going to be fucking thinking about that for weeks, dude.
Every time I shave for the rest of my life, I'm going to be like, that fucking
crazy bastard.
And clap it up for his boy for sneaking that cheap shot in when he was down,
too.
Because he can't grow hair.
Yeah, pussy, pussy, pussy.
Because he's a huge pussy.
And he ate my cereal.
Yeah.