Name: Strip Club Etiquette - ARE YOU GARBAGE LIVE (2022)
Uploaded: 2022-04-01T21:43:51.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Strip Club Etiquette - ARE YOU GARBAGE LIVE (2022)' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Strip Club Etiquette - ARE YOU GARBAGE LIVE (2022)' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-01. Transcript available.

Have you ever used a translation app to negotiate pricing with a stripper who
didn't speak English?
Woo! Doggy!
That's a fucking home run.
What do you mean you want dog? You want dog?
Do you want dog?
What nationality was she? Or where was she from?
Cuba.
Nice.
And you couldn't even get like Trace, Dolores out or nothing?
You couldn't be like Megusta anything?
What were you negotiating in fact? I have a feeling it wasn't a land deal.
Yeah.
Some real estate property she had?
Yeah.
I'm telling you, I get you a better interest rate right now.
He was asking his buddy, how do you say handjob in Spanish? Someone tell me.
How do you say I only got 40 in Spanish?
You fucking scumbag.
Yeah.
My credit card's in the car, I swear.
El credit caro in El coche.
My dick is no hardo. I'm sorry. I can't do it.
I was doing El nose beers.
Dude, that question's crazy.
What the fuck?
But we must know.
How did this play out?
What were you exactly negotiating?
Well, that's sex right there.
Okay, fair enough.
I don't want to entrap you too much. Fair enough.
We'll leave it there.
Don't incriminate him.
Give it up for Thomas, Kyle, and Kyle.
Oh, shit.
Dude, that's crazy.
Oh, I love it.
Where's John L. at?
Okay.
I guess the lewds are setting in over there, huh?
Hey, here be me, man. I don't know.
Are you a John L.?
Okay.
Strapping young lad, I must say, by the way.
Fucking looker.
Give the kid a round of applause.
What's the scoop?
Who are you here with?
Oh, congratulations.
There you go.
Get that taquitos and tequila and soda out of her hand.
Okay, fiance, and then another couple.
Lovely friends. Nice.
This guy's drinking a martini.
That's pretty fucking classy.
And a Braves hat.
Yeah, it's real classy.
I like it.
He for sure has camo underwear on, too.
Chipper Jones socks on, fucking drinking a martini.
I like it.
They're my favorite, too.
Dirty martinis.
Extra dirty.
What do you do?
Gin or vodka?
They were actually doing vodka.
Oh.
Yeah, this guy's got a problem.
Well, good luck with the pregnancy, young lady.
We're going to name him Jim Beam.
Awesome.
His question is, am I garbage for drinking 99-cent Long Island iced teas from Kroger?
Wait a minute, man.
That seems like it plays here.
Did you mean Arizona iced teas?
Because they're 99 cents.
It was a long...
No, he's talking about regular iced tea.
You're talking about the alcoholic beverage Long Island iced tea.
You're selling Long Island iced teas down here for 99 cents?
I'm moving.
That's it.
I'm coming down.
Get the pine needles in the front yard.
I'm fucking moving in.
Holy shit.
He's been talking about pine needles in the front yard all day.
We were out in front of the hotel smoking a cig.
He's like, man, down here, they put pine needles in the front yard.
I'm like, you live in a one-bedroom in Astoria.
Shut up.
I worked as a summer as a landscaper in North Carolina, and that's where I
learned that they
use that down here instead of mulch.
Yeah, don't leave out of the side of the story where you said that was also the
first time
you smoked crack, so.
That's true.
I don't even know if there really was pine needles, to be honest with you.
Could have been little kids, for all I know.
Could have just been heroin.
Who knows?
Getting my landscaping advice from you.
All right, so what's the deal?
They just sell cans of Long Island iced tea?
Hold on one second.
Are we cool?
Is this a move?
Is that...
Well, what was...
Hold on a second.
What was it, like 9 o'clock in the morning on the way to work?
On the way here.
On the way here?
I respect that.
Yeah, what the fuck?
Pre-gaming with some LITs on the way to RU Garbage?
Hey, guy wants to give you a pound right there.
There you go.
He's going to be selling you weed later on.
The guy in the tie-dye Bucky shirt.
Hey, man, good to know you party.
I'm the great Camry out front, just so you know.
I'll flick the latch when I see you.
It ain't got no wheels on it, but it's a good time.