Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Joe List Is Back!
Uploaded: 2022-05-15T23:33:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Joe List Is Back!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Joe List Is Back!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-15. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Joe List Is Back!

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Oh, yeah.
It's a little show where we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find
out they're going to be classy or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day down here at Aunt Tootie's
Basement.
She's upstairs, knocked out cold.
Oh, God.
Yeah, you don't run your mouth in a Wawa parking lot, I can tell you that.
All right.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
Bit of an international businessman himself.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
Hey, gang.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes, full video available
on YouTube, and as you know, those numbers are...
String a rope!
Cooking!
Cooking!
And the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com slash are you garbage.
Check it out.
Caponis, episodes of AYG, episodes of Hard Feelings, live streams, the whole
nine yards.
Check it out.
Absolutely.
Having a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire, the magic man,
makes us all look good.
We love him.
You love him.
Give it up for T-Bone, McScruffins, Toby McButtons, everybody.
What's up, dudes?
Hey, T-Bone.
Never had a whoopee pie, but I didn't watch that Joe List smash.
Best smash of the year, baby.
Best smash.
Yes.
Out, baby.
The long hair ain't lying, gang.
We couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly special guest back with us
again, again, again.
I think it's third or fourth time here.
He's fucking family at this point.
I think the four club.
Very funny stand-up comedian, podcaster, and actor has a special out right now
called This
Year's Material on YouTube.
As it stands right now, 531,000 views.
Hey, all right.
Gang, all jokes aside, he is one of the best stand-up comedians working today.
We love him.
We love him.
Give it up for Mr. Joe List.
Hey.
Thank you, everybody.
Where are the cameras?
Scandals and animals, baby.
Moving tickets over here.
I love coming here just for the Seinfeld references.
Oh, it's the best.
We're back.
Can't put a hawk near a squirrel.
You idiot.
All let's eat squirrels.
You idiot.
I have a feeling where this whole episode's going to be.
Well, don't you find once you're with Seinfeld people, I can't not do it
because I'm doing
it anyways.
I'm already thinking about it.
Yeah.
Now I just say it.
When I hang out with non-Seinfeld people, they now have to know.
If I say something that doesn't make any sense, just assume it's Seinfeld or
Goodfellas.
Yeah.
Sure.
Goodfellas is another big one.
You know who I met the other night?
Just a hello.
Hey, how are you?
I'm Henry.
Hi, how are you?
I'm Terry.
Oh.
Miss Terry Hatcher.
Oh, wow.
She's a big comedy fan.
Yeah, she was at the Cellar.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, she messaged me during one of the-
What?
What do you call it?
Some Zoom bullshit or the Cellar thing.
Maybe it was Ray Allen.
Somebody had a show and she messaged me and I was like, oh, my God, this is so
exciting.
Terry Hatcher.
Yeah, she's something else.
Terry Hatcher, yeah.
She was great in that.
Jackie Child's old girl.
That's the last episode, right?
That's right.
What's been cooking, buddy?
Not too much.
Just trying to get this special.
I'm wrestling the algorithm.
I'm so afraid of the algorithm.
You've got to get the likes.
We're all asleep to it.
I know it's brutal, but it's out there right now.
This year's material.
Go watch it.
Tell a friend.
There's somebody you haven't told.
Please tell them.
I did this special.
I'm sweating the algorithm.
It's very exciting.
It's absolutely fantastic.
You've got to fucking watch it, man.
I meant that when I said it.
You're one of the best out there.
Oh, thank you.
We're working.
We love you.
Things are going fantastic.
Before we get into the Patreon questions, I wanted to do a little follow-up
with you.
Do you feel like maybe you're starting to get a little classier?
Are you starting to do things you wouldn't have done?
You're making a couple more bucks than you were a couple of years ago.
You're very unassuming.
I've seen your Patreon.
It's doing all right.
I'm hoping.
I mean, we're doing okay.
I'm making money.
I'm making more money than I ever, you know.
I would imagine you've got a pretty nice chunk of change in the bank.
Great chunk.
Big chunk.
Love the chunk.
Huge chunk.
I know the chunky who have these chunky wrappers.
I don't know about chunks.
It's a great chunk.
I don't know what to do with the chunk.
I was talking to a guy the other day, and he was like, I'm thinking about
getting into
real estate, and he said an amount of money he had in the bank, and I was like,
I got
way more money than that.
Can I get into real estate?
Yeah, you can get into real estate.
I'll get into real estate.
I'll buy your house.
Call me.
Give me a call.
I'll buy your house.
Throw you out.
Let's go.
I don't know what to do, but you look, and the amount of the house is more
money than I
have, but I guess you pay money.
You're not paying cash.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
It's not a pair of shoes, Joe.
What are we doing?
You put 10 down, you keep it moving.
All right.
Well, I don't know.
And then you put someone in there?
Is that what you do?
Yeah, then you rent it, and then you rent it out in the hopes that you make
more money
off the rent than the mortgage.
I wouldn't do that.
Just buy a house for yourself and get some equity.
Well, I want to do that, but my wife wants to be near friends or whatever.
Let's just sit in the backyard and smoke and look at stars.
All I want to do is hang out in the backyard, have a fire pit of some sort
going, and just
really get drunk.
You were mentioning that outside, that obviously you live in a store.
You were talking about maybe making the move out to the burbs.
I'd like that.
How do you picture all that going?
What would be Joe's style?
Would you get a landscaper?
Would you want to do the lawn yourself?
Would you put in a pool?
I don't know how to do those things, but I'm an idiot.
You don't want to be a fucking landlord then, going and fixing somebody else's
driver.
I don't know about a pool of the ocean.
I want to be near the ocean.
The ocean heals.
It heals, Jerry.
The pool doesn't heal.
You've got to fix it.
But I want to be rich when you have the apartment and the house.
Of course.
That's the goal.
Because here's the thing.
I've lived.
I work the road a lot, and it shows on the special.
This year's material, YouTube.
But I live.
Kids got chops.
I live 12 minutes from the airport.
It's the thing I won't be able to part with.
If I move to the Jersey Shore, it's like three and a half days to get to the...
It's like Oregon Trail to get to the airport.
That LaGuardia from Astoria.
It's beautiful.
It's fucking...
It's like it's in your backyard.
Literally, it takes me 16 minutes.
It's 30 bucks.
Now, will you fly out of any other airport, or you'll just take a flight even
you know you
don't really want...
Will you take an even earlier flight just because it's LaGuardia?
And are you first class all the way these days?
I get upgrade.
I'm diamond.
Damn.
We're not even silver.
How do you get...
See, that's what I was talking about.
We're trying to figure out a way to fly first.
We're almost...
We just started doing the road this year.
So next year, we'll at least be silk because it's about the year before, right?
It's based on the miles flown the year before.
Yeah.
We'll probably be silver with Delta.
They upgrade you for free when you have this?
If there's open seats, but they're jammed packed now.
These days, they're jammed, but most flight...
I mean, I'd say like 75% of flights, I get a first class upgrade.
Nice.
Every once in a while, I'll spring.
But now flights are insane.
That's why.
Now it's like 800 bucks to get to Cincinnati.
I know.
It's a lot, dude.
When do you find that out that they're bumping you up?
When you get to the airport?
Sometimes it's not until you scan.
Yeah.
Sometimes it's like until everyone's checked in.
I don't print out a ticket right there.
So you think you're going to fucking 38B, and then all of a sudden, what?
Yeah.
So you keep checking it, and it'll say...
It says the...
I'm always number one for the upgrade.
So in the app, they'll have the rank of the people on the flight.
Who's the highest medallion status?
Do they have names?
Like a roster?
Yeah.
It's like J-list.
Really?
Yeah.
You're sitting there, and you're like, oh, if you're like 10, you're like,
there's
no fucking shot.
You're getting it.
Wow.
You have a list of the other passengers.
Yeah.
It literally ranks them.
And so it'll say number of seats.
So you're like, sometimes it's like six seats available, and you're number one.
So you're like, guaranteed, I'm getting it.
Wait, so you even coach Mom on this list, too?
Somewhere.
On the top 10.
Yeah.
You're like, you know.
That's embarrassing, man.
Yeah, you're like...
You're 38 and 39.
You're like Stony Brook on the BCS rankings.
What the fuck?
Somewhere you have one, but your strength of schedule stays.
I'm in the bottom of the class.
I don't like people looking at my name.
Because we pay...
That's an invasion of privacy.
We just bought...
We were flying...
We did Denver, Salt Lake, and Phoenix.
Three nights back to back to back.
And on the first leg to Denver, we got emailed, hey, do you want to upgrade?
And I knew we weren't...
Well, we had to pay for it.
But still...
Only 119 bucks.
I put me and him in it.
It wasn't bad.
He's a big guy.
It was...
You know what I mean?
It changed my entire perspective about air travel.
Yeah, it's a lot better.
I could have done that for three days, sat there.
It was like sitting in a Lazy Boy.
The nice thing is getting on the plane first, because I don't check a bag.
So the carry-on, if you're not...
Gives me so much anxiety.
Getting it up there, finding the space.
When you're the first one on, you just toss it right up there, get a drink.
And all the poor people walk by.
It makes you feel rich.
You go like, oh, I get this.
I get how rich people live.
Throw change at them as they pass.
But I have such class problems.
I feel like I have to be like this.
I got upgraded.
I'm a piece of shit.
My parents make no money.
I'm sorry.
It's just I fought.
I'm one of you guys.
Whatever, rich boy.
I suck.
Well, we were sitting there, and we got recognized by a guy walking by.
He was like, I love the show.
And I was like, this is the most famous we've ever been.
Yeah, but then we also got recognized on the way back with a guy that was in
the front
of the plane as we were heading towards the rear.
We were like the last two guys walking down the aisle.
Yeah, that's always weird.
I love the show.
I'm like, go fuck it.
We'll be by the engine if you need it.
But no, it's going pretty good.
But yeah, I would like to have a house near the ocean, ride a bike.
But you want to have both.
You want to be rich.
Well, I do think that.
Well, I think there is a way where I don't know what your rent is, but it's
probably not.
You live in a store.
It's probably not.
You know, you're probably not paying like $7,000 a month in rent or whatever,
you know.
I'd say $1,500.
$2,000.
But we have this extra bonus thing for $6,000.
So it's $26,000 all in.
We have a two-bedroom, basically.
Okay.
It's a nice deal.
Yeah, for $2,600, you could get something okay probably where you want.
The shore houses are expensive, though.
It's crazy.
I look every couple of weeks.
I'm big on Zillow.
Are you peeking around?
I go to Zillow.
I peek.
I peek.
I poke.
Everything's like 2.4.
Yes.
It's a shack on five blocks from the beach.
It's wild to me.
Like a house in New Jersey near New York City is like $1 million.
I'm like $1 million.
It's crazy.
$1 million.
I'm like, that's like the joke number.
It's a million.
It