Name: Stavros Halkias Returns | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast
Uploaded: 2022-05-30T00:20:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavros Halkias Returns | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavros Halkias Returns | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-30. Transcript available.

Stavros Halkias Returns | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast

Pittsburgh, Buffalo, Detroit, the middle-class famous tour is coming your way.
A little mix of stand-up comedy, play a little AYG with the crowd.
It's going to be a good time.
Yeah, guys, get the homies, come out.
It's a good way to introduce them to the show.
We're going to be in Buffalo on June 14th.
We're going to be in Pittsburgh on June 15th and Detroit June 16th.
Get those tickies.
We'll see you there.
Yeah.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
A little show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out if
they're going to be classy.
Yeah.
Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're down here at Antony's Basement.
She's upstairs.
She's organizing a new lemonade stand of sorts.
Okay.
But for catalytic converters.
Okay.
So if you're in the market and you're looking for something cheap, come by the
spot.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me, unamused, again this week.
I'm striking out.
He's my best pal in the whole wide world, and I love him.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
Hey, gang.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, make sure you rate reviews and drive on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
As you know, those numbers are cooking.
And then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com.
Sweet Lord.
Check it the fuck out, ladies and gentlemen.
It's a game changer over there.
Come see me in Tuscany this summer.
And how about a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire, The Magic
Man.
Makes us all look good.
You love him.
We love him.
Give it up for T-Bone McButton's Toby McMullen.
What's up, dude?
What's up, T-Bone?
Got a hot one, man.
We got a hot one.
We got the fucking kid in here.
We got the coolest kid in school.
The new kid coming in.
That's right.
He's got a girlfriend up in Canada, but we still love him.
She's got huge tits.
I've seen him in everything.
She showed him to me.
Gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly special guest back
with us again today.
Extremely funny stand-up comedian.
Tours all over.
Let me tell you something.
This kid kills it on Twitch, on TikTok, on YouTube, on Instagram, on Twitter.
And he's got a brand new special.
His debut special.
Right.
Coming out June 5th on YouTube called Live at the Lodge Room.
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the pride of Baltimore.
Stavros Hauke.
Stavros Hauke.
Stavros Hauke.
Stavros Hauke.
Stavros Hauke.
Stavros Hauke.
Stavros Hauke.
How we doing, boys?
We're doing good, man.
Oh, I'm happy to be here.
I would like for the record to state that you guys have had a lot of big names.
I'm thrilled.
You're a big name.
What are you talking about?
I'm thrilled to see.
But, you know, we're friends.
You know what I mean?
Sure, sure.
I'd like for the record that I did this podcast when I was sure it would fail.
I'm returning now that it is a success and I'm very happy for you.
But I remember getting the email and being like, all right, those are funny,
guys.
I'll do it for them.
It was early, too.
It was early.
It was a solid pandemic.
It was in the middle of the pandemic.
A couple of months into the pod.
Yeah.
I was like, this is good.
One last attempt and then maybe if I'm at Helium, they can feature for me.
You know, that's kind of how I approached it.
And I'm very happy to see you guys thriving.
I love it.
It hurts because it's true, man.
Thanks, buddy.
It hurts because it's true, dude.
Well, I can say that's the fact that you know the truth.
Of course.
Means things are going well.
We're on the other side of it.
Exactly.
We've made it through the tunnel.
We're on the other side.
That's patreon.com.
Keep hitting that Patreon.
Take one more swing, baby.
That's what it's all about.
I mean, we might have been doing 2,000 people when you did it early.
I did it early.
I don't even think you had a shirt on when we did it.
We did it via Zoom and I'm pretty sure you were the top one.
I forgot about it.
I got a text, a frantic text.
I was like, oh, yeah, my internet's fucked.
Let me plug the router in.
I wasn't napping.
Me and Paul, you're sitting there with the mics and the cans on.
I'm like, the Zoom's recording.
I'm like, have you heard from him?
Nothing?
But I'm happy to be back.
The studio is fucking sick.
It looks awesome.
I remember your camera turned on.
You were brushing your teeth or something like that.
What's going on, boys?
Good to see you.
I was also losing my mind during the pandemic.
So it actually was nice to talk to someone and just do something different.
That was deep pandemic.
That was $400 grocery store orders.
That was fucking crushing fucking Breaking Bad.
That was knee deep in the pandemic.
That was the getting fat as hell.
Oh, man.
We'll never see civilization again part of that.
Pandemic.
What a ride that was.
It was a fun time.
Man.
Fucking grocery store in the pandemic was all right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Congratulations on the special.
Thanks, dude.
Things have been going incredibly well.
I'm trying.
I'm working, yeah.
Before we get into the Patreon questions, we want to do a little follow-up here
with you.
It's been a while since you've been here.
Find out a couple of things.
Let's do it.
I know you have a slight bone to pick with me.
Oh, yes.
Regarding the...
Dug up some of my old tweets.
That's right.
Trying to get me cans.
That's right.
What one?
The old bae.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We've got a lot.
I feel like that's me and Foley's relationship is he puts out a food take and I'm
like, I'll
execute.
Yeah.
If you're out of your mind, I have a machete, I'm outside of your house.
Strawberry quick.
Strawberry quick.
I'll kill you.
You son of a bitch.
I think we also had a pizza disagreement.
Well, that's another one I want to talk about because, yeah.
But I just want to...
Let's start.
I just want to...
Let's get it going.
I'm ready to fucking go.
Puts his hair in a ponytail.
I'm close, dude.
I'm close to the tail in the back here.
I want to clarify the old bae comment, all right?
Because that's like sacred.
It is.
That's like angel dust where you come from.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shrimp, crabs, okay.
But these bozos up here in Philly, they put it on fucking everything.
Okay.
French fries.
Crab fries are big.
I love them.
You can't.
Do you love them?
Unimpeachable crab fries.
Are you out of your mind?
Really?
It's a fucking perfect...
Thank you.
A little bit of cheese on the side.
Fuck around with it.
Yeah, absolutely.
If you can recreate like a cream of crab soup.
This guy knows what I'm doing.
I'm on team stopping for now.
A little cream, a little cheese, a little old bae.
It's like a chowder.
It's like a soup.
We want to liven up our fries.
Let the fries live.
Who are we kidding?
We both shop at the same store, Foley.
Sure.
I've seen that shirt on the DXL rack.
All right?
Don't come at me pretending you don't want different variations of fries.
Thank you.
It's not like...
Just be honest, Foley.
It's not a fucking...
It's not a zero-sum game.
There's no need to bring DXL into this.
They're good people, Stavi.
Hey, I love them.
Don't hurt them over there.
Listen, I'm back in, unfortunately.
Nine months in a row of touring.
I had to dip my toes back into DXL.
Hey, Stavi, you're back.
It's so hard.
I've got the sandwich.
I'm eating the dressing room.
Tony, Stavi's here.
Man.
But that's my point.
It's like, give me every type of fry.
Yes.
Okay.
I want it out there.
I want it.
You don't want to have it every day, but you want the option.
If you're there, hey, you know what?
I've had the sweet potato fries.
I've had the regular cheese fries.
Give me the Krabby's.
You like the Old Bay chips, too, I would assume, right?
Yeah.
What are they, hers?
That's a delicacy.
Someone's got...
Hers does them.
Yeah.
Uts is the...
Is that the silver bag one?
Yeah, Uts is the golden bag.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's all right.
They're good.
I'm a big fan.
They're very good.
I put Old Bay on pierogies.
I don't give up.
I'll do it on anything.
That's not a bad idea.
Shrimp, I think they shine, definitely.
It shines.
Shrimp and crab.
And then there's nothing better than, exactly, sucking off the fucking Old Bay
off the...
Just sucking the crab leg.
Uh-huh.
Getting a little bit of the...
It's on your fingers.
Yeah, the finger.
You get a cut.
It's painful, but it burns.
That's how you know you're alive.
I know.
Let you live a little bit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where do you stand on Montreal steak seasoning?
Montreal?
Oh, okay.
Interesting.
Fan?
This is the best pocket.
Only on cereal.
There's a reason this was a success.
For fucking idiots.
Yeah, all of our listeners look like you two, by the way.
For idiots like me, yeah.
These are the deep philosophical questions I want to have.
I don't want to talk, you know...
You put a lot of snifter?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Montreal seasoning is, I would say, it's an entryway.
It's a gateway into the larger seasoning world.
I think that is a little bit...
It is trash, by the way.
I remember when you were using salt and pepper, you bozo.
Salt and pepper, though, it's like...
It can be elevated as well.
Montreal, your mind is being opened.
You're dipping your toe in the water there.
And that's when you're like...
If you grew up trash, right?
And you want to escape, you throw a little Montreal steak seasoning on some
chicken.
I remember the first time I had Montreal chicken.
The first time I had it.
It blew my fucking hair back.
You think you're like, fuck, you know.
It's like, you know, it's like the way...
Like, if you...
It's kind of like reading a New Yorker article when you live in fucking...
In like, you know, in like trashy Philly or like wherever the fuck.
Baltimore...
It's a little mind expanded.
It's like doing mushrooms for the first time.
Yeah, it's like, oh, you motherfuckers know nothing about Montreal seasoning.
I feel like...
And then you're in turmeric's.
You're fucking around with gingers.
You know what I mean?
Some fresh ginger or something.
Some fucking five spice.
I think it's turmeric.
Did you say turmeric's?
I think it's either one.
Turmeric?
Turmeric?
No, it's turmeric.
No way.
It's got to be turmeric.
T-bone, help me out.
It's not turmeric.
Turmeric.
Turmeric.
A lot of people say turmeric, which is wrong.
That might be the most right one.
No, that's...
We need like an Indian guy.
We need somebody...
Truly.
It's what we need, you know.
Let's get to the bottom of this.
What I'm saying is Montreal seasoning, that's the gateway.
Then you're having different seasonings.
It's right up the middle, yes.
From the Orient.
You get a little fresh Oregano.
I was always an Oregano guy being Greek, obviously.
The Orient.
But, you know, you're opening your mind up to different things.
Silk Road type stuff.
It is, yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I would say I'm definitely past the Montreal steak seasoning point in my life.
Sure.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
That's over for me.
But it was a beautiful time.
It was.
It's like your college girlfriend.
I'm glad we didn't get married, but I wish her nothing but the best.
It taught me a lot of things.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I learned a lot from those days.
Montreal seasoning was the first person to suck my dick.
That's what I'm trying to say.
The toe ring was hot, but I got to move on.
I feel like what happened was is that our dads or somebody went out to a
restaurant.
This is back in the day.
They had it, and then it filtered into the home.
And then we got fed at one.
I remember it was in the spring.
Interesting.
My dad did some steaks on the grill.
We're like, what the fuck is on this?
It's like Montreal steak.
It was on every single meal we had.
At that point, it was only barbecue sauce is what you had.
Sure, sure.
That was.
It was like barb