Name: Guy and a Van - Are You Garbage LIVE: Stand Up Comedy (2022)
Uploaded: 2022-06-25T20:38:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Guy and a Van - Are You Garbage LIVE: Stand Up Comedy (2022)' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Guy and a Van - Are You Garbage LIVE: Stand Up Comedy (2022)' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-25. Transcript available.

I got a question for you. Who's picking up the check tonight in a one-year
relationship?
Okay, okay. Not that that high-pitched voice was not confident. I did!
Miss, do you concur on that?
Oh, way to really sell him out, lady. Jesus.
Keep an eye on that one.
That's real alligator arms type shit.
Like, ah, is it... I keep it in my shoe? Where do I keep that wallet at?
Now, can I ask you, did you make a... Miss, did you make a little bit...
Not a big... A little bit of a mental note about that?
Yes, you just brought it up in front of a room full of strangers.
That's as big as a mental note you can get.
This is all starting to make sense. I forgot what your question was, but I just
read it again.
Is it garbage to transport a jet ski in a van?
That's real can't-find-my-wallet type shit.
Hold on a second.
Please tell me it wasn't an Uber or something.
Are you an international spy by any chance?
What the fuck, man?
That's a tough look at the docks when you're trying to get that thing in the
water in the lake.
Yeah, and all of a sudden a jet ski just guns out the back of a fucking van.
God damn, you ruined the carpets!
Woo!
Holy shit!
Is it... Did you pull this move?
Yesterday?
Buddy!
Hey, Miss, you got a keeper.
Can't find a wallet, has a van, and a jet ski.
Yeah, no shit. He's all right.
Whose van was it, or is that your day-to-day wheels?
You have a van, and a jet ski.
What year van we talking?
99.
That's a pretty old van.
What year is the jet ski?
Jesus Christ.
You have a 99 jet ski?
What is it, made of wood? What the fuck?
You're out there on the Orca? God damn.
We're going to need a bigger jet ski.
But hold on, you have enough money, so you have a regular car too, right?
It's a 1942.
Got a Model T sitting in the driveway.
What kind of car do you drive normally?
Ford Ford.
Ford Ford Ford. A newer one, right?
It was actually the prototype.
And you have the van for moving jet ski and other trashy items purposes.
Did you just buy the jet ski? You've had it all this time.
This has a real, like, found jet ski type vibe.
Yeah.
Because you don't have a trailer, you don't have a hitch.
You don't have anything you need for the jet ski.
Where did you get the jet ski?
A buddy, exactly.
I knew this wasn't, you didn't walk into a dealership.
And you're like, hey, I'll take this one.
They're like, cool, we'll ship.
And you're like, nah, I got the van out front.
Should I back up to the front door?
How do you want to do this?
Give me two guys from the back.
So you, how do you get it in there?
A buddy?
Let me ask you this.
Where were you taking the jet ski from, and where was it going?
Probably a swimming pool, if I had to guess.
Just doing donuts.
Trying to get my TikTok going.
Where'd you pick the jet ski up?
Oh, you're taking a trip by...
I thought this was a...
He's got a 99 jet ski, he doesn't have dock money.
Yeah, I thought this was a one-time transfer.
So you, so the jet ski was at your house, you loaded up in the van, you went
out to the place,
you rode the jet ski, you rode the jet ski, and then put the jet ski back in
the van, and drove home?
You're fucking garbage.
Yeah.
But, after all that work, and I bet you that van doesn't have air conditioning,
how sweet was that ride?
That water?
What you got on the water?
Woo-wee!
Wind blowing in your hair?
I respect it, dude.
One time, give it up for Nick.
That's fucking awesome.
Fuck yeah, Nicky.
Nicky!