Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Dollar Beer Night w/ Kippy and Foley
Uploaded: 2022-08-17T23:00:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Dollar Beer Night w/ Kippy and Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Dollar Beer Night w/ Kippy and Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-17. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Dollar Beer Night w/ Kippy and Foley

Hachi Machi, middle-class famous tour update, Kippy.
Uh-oh.
We got a couple alerts going out.
Straighten them out a little bit.
Yeah, guys.
So we're coming to Seattle and Portland.
Unfortunately, Seattle is sold out.
So if you want tickets, you're going to have to come see us in Portland.
Then we're going to Kansas City, Springfield, St. Louis, Nashville, Indy,
Philadelphia.
That show sold out already three months ahead of time.
We added a second show.
Tickets are on sale right now.
Then we're going up to Providence, Rhode Island.
That's going to sell out in Boston.
This is low ticket alert.
So get those tickets now.
We'd love to see you.
Do it.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there.
And welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Hey, Nick.
A little show where we sit down with our favorite comedians and find out if
they're going to be classy or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash, trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're down here at Aunt Tootie's basement.
She's upstairs getting ready for the fall.
Doing a little pickling of her cigarettes.
Doing a little pickling of her cigarettes.
We've got to start taking submissions on these.
My co-host is coming at you from across the table.
Technically, I got a giggle out of him, so it counts as a win.
He's the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He's an international businessman.
He's the prince of Park Avenue, but always the king of the boardwalk.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
Hey, everybody.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe over there on iTunes.
Oh, yeah.
It don't fucking mean anything no more.
Yes, it does.
Then you go over there to www.youtube.com.
Are you garbage?
Check it out, because I think those numbers are...
Tritter up!
Cooking!
And then, obviously, shout-out to Al Gore for creating the internet.
Shout-out to Sam Yam and Jack Conte for creating the greatest website of all
time.
www.patreon.com.
You get bonus content.
You get episodes of AYG, episodes of Heartfield.
You get the live stream.
You get bonus content.
We're coming out the fucking wazoo with bonus content.
Yeah, overstuffed.
Overstuffed.
Double-stuffed bonus content, like those videos you watch.
We're just dropping, it should be soon, or it should be out right now, the
camping trip
we just did.
Meet D-Bone and new guy Luke went up there in a Catskills, got an RV, and boy,
do we have
a good time.
Full, long video on the Patreon right now.
Check it out.
I don't want to give any spoilers, but I fought a grizzly.
It was at a gay bar, but still.
How about a nice quick shout-out to our producer, Extraordinaire, the Magic Man,
makes us all
look good.
He works the ones and twos.
Threes and fours.
Crosses the T's, he dots the I's, he spins all the hits, does time and
temperature around
the eights.
Give it up for T-Bone McMuffin, Toby McMullen.
What's up, dudes?
What up, T-Bone?
You have a present for us, from what I understand.
Oh, yes, indeed.
We have a beautiful piece submitted.
It's a collaboration between a bunch of people we hold near and dear to our
hearts, Frame
of Mind Art, who put this can in my hand, and some other folks dabbled.
Really?
It's an unboxing video.
It sure is, and it's- I feel like Mr. Beast.
I haven't seen it yet, what's inside, in person, but it's pretty dope from the
photos.
Okay.
And they did all this behind our backs.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't like that.
Yeah, what the fuck?
I don't like people plotting on me.
Plus, this isn't going to be a smooth opening.
Who's doing this?
It's taped up like a nuclear football.
I know.
What the fuck?
I got a hot cup of Joe over here.
You'll be editing around this.
All right.
Foley, man, the-
Hey, I got Dr. Pepper over here.
What are you talking about?
I'm busy.
Foley, you're on audio here.
I'm going to- let me open this up.
Okay.
Yeah, you're a professional vampir.
All right.
Slicing it over.
Oh, God, you stink at this, dude.
He said, feel dead air.
He goes, okay.
All right.
All right.
If it's a kitten, I'm going to be very upset.
It's pretty fucking sweet, if I do say so myself.
I hope we hate it, to be honest with you.
Now, before you open it, is this a new set piece?
Is that what you're envisioning?
I don't know.
We'll see.
We'll see how it checks out.
Like I said, I haven't seen it in person.
Okay.
All right.
I saw a little piece.
All right.
Hachi Machi.
You open out like a dad putting a bike together on Christmas.
Man, fucking Ikea.
Jesus Christ.
This is pretty fucking sweet.
All right.
All right.
Listen, I shit on you for packaging it, but you did a pretty fucking great job.
Oh, my God.
That's beautiful.
It's so sick, dude.
What the fuck?
That's awesome.
It's even sicker than I thought it would be.
Where's that going?
In the middle?
I don't know.
That's fucking sweet.
Yeah, that's beautiful.
Shout out to Cornbread Customs.
Han and Tony, we appreciate it, baby.
We were in contact with who put this can away, and he reached out and organized
this amazing
opportunity to work with the graphic designer, Logo Trevin from Frame of Mind
Art on Instagram.
Holy shit.
This is fucking sweet, guys.
Thank you so much.
Fucking beautiful, man.
That's great.
And for the audio listeners, it's a giant, badass AYG sign.
Badass AYG sign with a trash can, with a Mountain Dew bottle, a carton of
Bernie, some spray
cheese, a couple past two bills, a couple of red cups, the whole nine yards.
And I will be selling this to the highest bidder, so slide in those DMs.
Get my eBay account going.
That's awesome.
Thank you so much.
Reset my password.
Fellas, thank you so much.
T-Bone, you put this together?
I didn't do shit.
They DM'd me.
I said, don't tell the bosses.
Ah.
That's very nice, man.
Thank you guys so much.
That's fucking beautiful.
Now I've got to be worried people are plotting against me.
Yeah.
The setup's going on behind my back.
There's probably a microphone in that thing.
I don't trust it.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
We're scanning this thing for bugs.
For sure, dude.
I got a couple of ex-FBI guys fucking on the team.
Coming here with that wand.
New guy, Luke.
Scanning.
Yeah, I don't like that.
Oh, man.
Until they got into Mar-a-Largo.
Mar-a-Largo?
Jesus Christ.
You said that like a dude on the boulevard.
Hachi, machi.
That's fantastic.
We've got to figure out where to put that.
Maybe that goes there.
I was thinking.
I don't want to say it out loud.
We could spice it up a bit.
We'll figure it out.
Yeah.
It's very cool, man.
Fucking sweet.
I don't know if the wood panel can hold that thing.
That thing's a pretty fucking heavy bike.
What was the shipping on that?
It had to be like three grand.
A couple of sinkers.
But they just sent that to us.
That's correct.
That's so fucking awesome.
That's awesome, guys.
Thank you so much.
You guys are the fucking best.
You're the fucking absolute best.
Look at this.
Look at this.
Family.
Gotta love it, baby.
I love it.
Yeah.
That's beautiful.
Yeah, thank you so much.
It's fantastic.
All right.
I have a question for you, fellas.
I'm listening.
A little something from New Guy Luke.
NGL.
Shout out to New Guy Luke.
NGL slid this one my way.
I said I'd run up the flagpole.
What do you think is the better deal?
The dollar slice or the dollar can of Arizona?
Dollar slice.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
Dollar slice all the way.
Yeah.
Food.
Food trumps beverage.
Always.
Beverage just fills you up.
But for a while, you get a free water cup over there, too.
The best value is going to Chipotle and ask for a water cup photo with Diet
Coke and leave.
That's the best value if we're doing that.
I filled mine up with guacamole.
I brought this in.
You don't have to charge you for that, right?
What are you talking about?
This is my queso con queso.
What's it called?
Con queso?
Salsa con queso, which we had on the camping trip.
We went food shopping.
You did.
At the general store.
I didn't tell nobody.
Tell me, maybe get some chips.
Spotted that salsa con queso.
At the end of aisle three.
Yeah, you guys were going at it.
There was like a halo around that thing.
It was right next to the buckshot.
After about 14 White Claws, man, I was like a crab in that barrel, baby.
Yeah, dollar slice all day.
Dollar slice all day.
Which they say New York City is very expensive, but you can really eat cheaper
in here if you put your mind to it.
I'm so trash.
I love.
There's three dollar slice places that I love.
The one over there by New York Comic Club, 4th Street, right over there on 2nd
Avenue, 4th, per se.
Then you got Percy's, which bumped up to $2.
I mean, in our early days in the village in New York, we lived off Percy's
dollar slice.
The lean years.
Not even joking.
We were both pretty fat, though.
I was tight then.
10 a week, probably.
Yeah, Percy's was all right.
We were doing 10 slices a week at Percy's.
Got two bucks now.
I know.
Goddamn fucking Logan.
Trick is to go heavy with the parm cheese.
It's almost like another slice.
It's all toppings.
Yeah.
You really got to get in on the free beef.
What do you got back there?
Any gummy bears, Skittles?
Throw them on top.
Piece of gum.
Something to get it some density.
Do you fuck with the red pepper flakes?
All right, listen.
I'm a little weird.
I'm a weird guy, right?
This is known.
As a kid, did you go near that shit?
Not until I was 28 did I touch that shit.
No way.
I didn't know what those were.
I thought they were bugs.
There's ants on my Zod.
Yeah, get that shit away.
I don't even like the oregano.
All right, so I'm a germ guy, real picky, icky.
You know what I mean?
I won't touch those in public.
Like at the dollar slice spots, I don't touch those.
The dollar slice spots, you go in, there's at any given point,
two crackheads, a murderer, a homeless guy.
There's not enough flavor in them for me.
In what?
In the pepper flakes.
They don't really hit you.
Sure.
I guess you got to get good ones, fresh ones.
Yeah.
They haven't made one of those.
They're probably selling you the things from the hole punches.
It's just loose leaf.
It's construction paper.
What are you talking about?
A couple of staples in there.
I would tell you, dude, it's like fucking three in the morning.
I'm walking home from spots and a couple of pops.
This is a few years ago.
I stopped into a dollar slice place, and the guy in front of me,
dollar slice places are traditionally all cash.
Of course.
Cash operation.
I wouldn't trust it if I needed a credit card.
Off the books.
So the guy in front of me orders a dollar slice of pizza,
and he pulls out a credit card to buy a dollar slice.
And the guy's like, what the fuck?
It's three o'clock in the morning.
You're on fucking 14th Avenue.
Get the fuck out of here, pal.
Let's be honest.
You're here because you ran out of Coke.
So quit fucking trying to stand on airs and make with the one.
He turned around, and the guy's like, yeah.
He's like, I don't have any cash on me.
And the guy's like, yeah, all right.
And then I'm like, fucking took the slice and put it back.
Now in my head, I'm going, fuck, I'm getting this guy's bogus slice that he
didn't want.
I'm going, I want a new one.
You know what I mean?
I'm not eating the floor model.
Yeah.
Had a dollar slice joint, I'll tell you that right now.
For 50 cents, I'll think about it.
Throw it in Arizona, we got a deal.
Yeah, exactly.
So then the guy turns around to me and he's like, so what are we going to do
about this?
I'm like, what do you mean, what are we going to do about this, motherfucker?
Get out of my way and let me get two and a diet pep, and I'm out the fucking dizzle.
Hey, I'll tell you what, I'll eat his, huh?
Kick rocks, dickhead.
Get the fuck out of here.
Dollar slice is probably, unless you find like a dollar taco spot.
But the thing about the dollar slice spot, it's a dollar all day, 