Name: Strip Club Mom - Are You Garbage LIVE: Stand Up comedy (2022)
Uploaded: 2022-09-03T20:22:49.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Strip Club Mom - Are You Garbage LIVE: Stand Up comedy (2022)' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Strip Club Mom - Are You Garbage LIVE: Stand Up comedy (2022)' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-03. Transcript available.

Devin, let's do a little background check.
What's the credit score like, bro?
All right.
Okay.
What's your favorite flavor of Gatorade?
All right.
Riptide Rush.
Check it out.
What kind of car are you driving?
A what?
Whoa.
Hoity-toity.
Is it a lease or do you own it?
Ooh, this guy's all right.
Holy fuck.
I'm chumming up over here, dude.
I'm going to...
Hachi.
This has got to be a classy question, I would assume.
It's very, very not.
Is it garbage that the first time my family tried sushi
was because we had a life insurance money after my dad died?
That doesn't...
Mercedes-Benz, huh?
At 800 credit scoring, fooling nobody, motherfucker.
This guy's driving a Kia for sure.
So your dad dies.
And you're like, fuck it, let's get sushi.
Yeah.
Dad would have wanted us to go to Benihana, I'm pretty sure.
It's also like not the most expensive food.
You know what I mean?
It's like, you can get it at gas stations now.
I mean, a California roll, I feel like a rich guy.
Clap it up for Devin, everybody.
Let him hear it.
That was fucking awesome.
Two in a row in a Riptide Rush.
Fucking living it.
That's what I'm talking about.
Kevin W.
You.
Okay, this is going to go well.
Yeah.
That's our kind of people right there.
You.
You're probably on a Nextel right now.
How many tickets you scalp outside tonight, buddy?
I got two.
I got two.
What'd you have for breakfast, man?
No breakfast.
Is that because you were fasting or you're a dirtball?
Okay.
Me too, baby.
Me too.
Hey, me three.
What are we talking about?
What's your credit score looking like?
I like 780.
That's good.
All right.
What's the...
Okay, what are you, the third mic?
Not too shabby.
Someone's going to hit you up for a loan after the show.
Hey, who was the 780 guy?
Where's Kevin at, by the way?
What kind of house do you got?
You live in a house?
You live in an apartment?
Parents' basement.
Oh, boy.
This is why we play the game, ladies and gentlemen.
You can run, but you can't fucking hide.
My parents' basement.
Does it have a separate entrance for you to get down,
or do you have to walk down through inside the house?
I got to say hello.
I got to say hello.
My mom charges me three kisses a day in rent.
I said I'll take the trash out later.
God!
I don't have it on me.
I'm going to pay you at the end of the month.
I told you that.
Get off my fucking back.
I'm not a union guy.
I don't have good benefits.
How old of a fellow are you?
Uh, 31.
It could be in a regroup, a rebuilding phase.
You know what I mean?
Like a sports team.
What do we got?
Is it trash to go with your mother and father to a strip club
and then be the one to pull your mom from going to the ATM for a third time?
Wow.
Somebody likes to experiment, huh?
That's a good landlord right there.
That's me.
God damn, those ATM fees at strip clubs will clean you the fuck out, too.
You take out 20 bucks, it costs you 48.
I'm like, what the fuck?
Holy, what was she getting?
Was she getting lap dances?
No, she was not in love with the titties.
Hey, I can't blame her.
Holy shit.
What was your dad doing?
Jerking off.
That's what I would be doing.
Trying to cancel his debit card.
That's what he was doing.
He was on the phone with Citibank.
Whatever she tells you.
I lost it two days ago.
What was the name of the strip club?
Key West.
Oh, it was a Key West?
Oh, my God.
What the fuck?
The mecca of trash.
Holy shit.
Are your parents big Jimmy Buffet people by any chance?
Are they?
What did he say?
Black Sabbath.
Man, I can't get a read on this fucking guy.
I just know he's a dirt bag.
Black Sabbath.
She's requesting war pigs trying to get fucking...
Generals gathered in their masses.
I squeeze the tits and...
I had a Jimmy Buffet song ready to go.
What do you want from me?
I knew I had nothing too, so fuck you guys.
Man.
The confidence of me to do it was big.
I was like, I hope I don't get fucking hung out to dry on this.
And I look over.
You're doing the second part.
I was like, this is bad, dude.
I'm over here doing the drum fill.
I took a fall for you.
I'm never going to let you live that down.
All right.
Yeah, Kev, that's real trashy.
Yeah, it's garbage, man.
Yeah.