Name: Tractor to Prom!? - Are You Garbage LIVE: Stand Up comedy (2022)
Uploaded: 2022-10-01T22:42:47.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tractor to Prom!? - Are You Garbage LIVE: Stand Up comedy (2022)' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tractor to Prom!? - Are You Garbage LIVE: Stand Up comedy (2022)' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-01. Transcript available.

Is it trash to keep your fast food warm by cranking the defrost on high and
leaving it on the dash?
Shout out to German engineering, huh?
That's like a Viking range, that is.
It's like an air fryer in his Volkswagen.
I'll get those fries crispy in one minute.
Fucking A.
When was the last time you did that?
Last week, keep the fries warm on the bottom, I think.
It makes sense, man. I can't hate it.
He goes in a drive-thru, just gets him cold.
Don't worry, I'll heat him up myself.
Making the burger in the car.
Oh, man.
What's your go-to fast food, though?
This kid's all right.
Wes, I take back everything I said.
You could have said anything. He would have been on board.
If we're being honest, right?
Clap it up for Wes one time.
Fantastic question.
I mean, this guy's name is Kyle, a.k.a. Vinny.
It's a real Ethan move right there.
Where are you at?
Yeah, you're in the back for sure.
I'm technically not even in the showroom.
Kyle, where do you live, man?
You got a house, you got an apartment?
I got a house.
Nice. You own it or you rent it?
I rent it.
Very nice.
You got a mortgage?
I got a mortgage.
Oh, shit.
It's not an act.
It's not an act.
He's on a diet.
He's on a diet.
He was eating Tostino's pizza rolls seven minutes ago.
Leave him alone.
He hasn't eaten in 15 minutes.
What's up, baby?
Somebody get some fun dip, quick.
Get him back off track.
He needs a bump of fun dip.
I need three cc's of Twizzlers stat.
Three minutes, help me swim.
All right, so you're renting.
Yeah.
Okay, very cool.
What kind of car do you drive?
Chevy Slocum Auto.
Ooh.
Is that a lease or is that a mortgage?
What do you got?
Do you lease or own?
You own it.
Look at you.
You still making payments on it?
No.
What year is it?
Uh, 2011.
Ooh, you might have a little couple of bucks on it, man.
Well, his question, is it garbage to clean your above-ground pool with the
pasta strainer
from the kitchen?
That's real Vinny shit, if you ask me.
Kyle would never go for that.
Why is there beetles in this fennuccine?
Uh, tell me you have it tied to like a fucking broomstick or something.
You're just walking around the pool with the pasta strainer?
For some reason, I picture you in your work clothes doing that.
He's got boots on.
Just in there in a nice suit.
God damn.
Clap it up for Kyle one time, guys.
Let him fucking hear it.
Just, one last question.
Do you then take the pasta strainer back into the house and use it in the
kitchen?
Yeah, they're not animals.
That chlorine kills everything.
It has a nice taste to it, too.
Clap it up for Vinny Kyle, everybody.
Beautiful.
All right, where's Angela T?
Okay, how are you, Angela?
Good.
Who are you here with?
Okay.
Angela, have you had meatloaf in the last 365 days?
Pretty good.
Have you ever eaten a hard-boiled egg in public?
Wow, that is a tough look.
We got a system.
Answer the question, young lady.
And if it's yes, do you have any on you?
Have you done that?
Yeah, I have.
Okay.
She's got a bit of a dude to her, and I like it.
Yeah, you fat piece of shit.
What are you going to do about it?
Angela's question, did you arrive to your prom or wedding on a tractor or other
piece of farm equipment?
How many people did that for a round of applause?
Well, one excited guy who for sure went to the prom alone.
I was going to say you went with Angela.
I still love you, baby.
Angela, did you do that?
I did, but most of my school did.
Jesus Christ.
What did you roll up on?
A pickup.
All right, fucking relax, Jacqueline Kennedy.
Did you own it, or did you have a mortgage on it?
And what did you go?
Where did you go, and on what?
I drove a Ford tractor to sit to at my high school and drove my hood.
You drove it?
Yeah.
Dude, how do you get a DUI on a tractor?
How old were you?
15.
Jeez.
Is that legal to drive it?
14 and a half, you can get your driver's license.
What the fuck?
14 and a half.
What are we, in the 1920s?
Yeah.
I just picture him on the highway.
Go around.
Go around.
I got my kids here, dickhead.
What the fuck?
You guys are nuts.
Yeah, you guys are wild, man.
Clamp it up for Angela back there, everybody.
And one time for John Deere over here.
You got laid that night, baby.
I mean, all right.
Where's Alex L.?
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
Was that to us, or did the fucking edible just kick in?
Hey, shit, dude.
You're going to have to drive the tractor home.
I'm not even going to ask what your credit score is, dude.
I'm sorry, dude, but you emailed us.
Oh, man, I don't...
Everybody be cool.
How about that?
I got you covered.
Don't worry.
This is a hypothetical, obviously,
about people who do not exist ever anywhere.
Don't be a fucking narc.
Is it garbage to illegally sell your dead dad's handgun
to your stepdad?
Portland, that's fucking it.
You guys have been fans of fantastic.
You guys are amazing.
Thank you so much.
We'll be out front taking pictures.
We have shirts.
We want to meet everybody.
Have a good night.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.