Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Graham Kay - How Many Beers!?
Uploaded: 2022-10-12T23:15:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Graham Kay - How Many Beers!?' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Graham Kay - How Many Beers!?' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-12. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Graham Kay - How Many Beers!?

Kip, that Middle Class Famous Tour is a-cookin'.
Hachee!
This thing's selling itself, but just in case, we're going to hit you with it
right now.
Gang, do yourself a favor.
Stand-up comedy show, then we play a little AYG with the crowd.
Grab the squad, come out and see us.
Great way to introduce two people to the show.
It's a super, super fun time, I promise you.
Yeah, gang, coming up in November, we got two hot shows down there in Hotlanta
as part of the Red Clay Comedy Festival.
You can get individual tickets for that or tickets to the whole fest yourself.
Then the next night, we're banging over there to Charlotte, North Carolina.
North Carolina, South Carolina, get them tickies if you're close.
Come see us.
That's the last time we're coming this year.
Then we got two sold-out ones in Philly.
You snooze, you lose.
We added one in Providence, Rhode Island in December.
Get those tickets.
Then we added another one in Boston as well.
Get those tickets, because those are going to sell out.
They're selling.
Grab them.
We're telling you right now, come see us.
See you there.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there.
Welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Isn't it?
A little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out they
grow to be classy.
Yeah.
Just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash, trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're down here at Aunt Tootie's basement.
Unfortunately, she just hit by a car.
Oh, no.
Okay.
Which was parked.
Okay.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He's an international businessman.
He is not to be trifled with in the boardroom or the bedroom.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
And as you know, new guy Luke, don't want this.
Through the roof.
Oh, my God.
We're talking about a tryhard.
Toby.
Come back, T-Bone.
You're killing me.
And obviously, the greatest goddamn website of all time.
www.patreon.com slash RU Garbage.
Check it the fuck out.
It's a party over there.
Damn.
Love that money.
Woo-wee.
And gang, as you know, T-Bone McMuffin is ill.
He's sick.
A little cold.
A little sniffles.
The flu.
Whatever you have.
He's got corona.
It's got COVID.
They're going to start asking questions.
I know.
Yeah.
Toby's got a hot case of fucking Delta.
I'll tell you that.
Well, we got new guy Luke filming it.
He's a good looking kid.
A little stupid.
Not going to lie.
Quite hairy, too, this fucking kid.
Your chest hair is wild.
Yeah.
You've got to pick up there.
He's nervous on the mic.
I got a lot.
It's my first time.
It's your first time ever talking into a microphone?
I think it's your first time in public, to be honest with you.
Yeah.
First time ever talking into a microphone?
I mean, yeah, maybe like a middle school auditorium, something like that.
You ever did karaoke or anything like that?
I mean, we're not counting that, right?
I'm a showman.
I mean, give me a dozen Bud Lights, yeah.
Gang, new guy Luke, ladies and gentlemen.
Give him a nice round of applause.
We love you, pal.
Gang, let me tell you something right now.
Got a hot show ahead of us here.
Could not be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special
guest, here with
us today for the first time.
An old pal.
I tell him all the time.
He's one of my favorites.
He killed when we do shows together in the city.
I stay and I watch him.
I get a nice giggle.
I love this guy to death.
He's a very funny stand-up comedian and actor.
You've seen him in, but not limited to, Super Troopers.
Oh, yeah.
Stand up with John Knorr.
You got the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon.
How about that?
The Late Show, Stephen Colbert, has a 2020 special out called Graham K Stupid Jokes.
And I'll tell you this right now.
Here's the turkey.
What's that?
If you go over to that YouTube right now, youtube.com slash Graham K Comedy,
you can check out
his brand new amazing special, Graham K, live in a bowling alley.
Do me a favor.
Give it up.
Graham K, everybody.
That's me.
There he is.
That was a great intro.
Thanks, pal.
I felt good about myself.
I meant that.
Thank you.
I tell you that all the time.
I've always told you that.
Before we were even really good friends, he kills me.
You're a sweet man.
He's my speed, man.
The kid's just funny.
I don't know what to tell you.
I'd always give him a cookie and say, yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you.
My sugar's low.
Thank you so much.
I think, obviously, you're both very funny and a big fan of the show.
Buddy, thank you so much.
Thank you for coming and sitting with us.
Congratulations on the special.
Thank you.
What is the backstory of Graham K?
We know you're a Canadian feller.
You're a real hoser.
That's a slur.
Oh, yikes.
Well, then I meant it.
You come from a whole family of hosers, too.
There is a Canadian...
People have been through enough.
They didn't come here.
There is a mild American slur that's very, very...
That really pisses people off in Canada.
I can't remember exactly what it was.
It's something like douchebag or something.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
The American slur for Canadians?
No, no, no, no, no.
Or we call you.
No, no, no.
There's a...
All right, hold on.
Something that's harmless down here, but up there, it's like, I'll kill you.
It's what they call in jail, they call pedophiles or something.
Oh, goof.
Goof.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're goofy.
Or this guy's a real goof.
It's like, whoa.
That's like, you need to fucking...
That is...
I didn't...
They'll suffocate you in a bag of milk up there.
That's perfect.
I didn't really know.
Like, you know, people don't...
People don't like...
Like, hockey players, they call...
If you call somebody a goof, you get pissed off.
Hockey players have their own vernacular.
They do.
They do.
They've got a nice head of lettuce.
Head of lettuce.
Buddy tarps off.
Let's go.
That means take your shirt off.
That's all right.
We're doing that for a Patreon episode.
We're just going to go through all the fucking...
Canadian hockey players...
Buddy, I'll fucking tune you up right now.
Tarps off.
I'll tune you up.
It's all right.
You're fucking done, bud.
Mitts.
Mitts is what it was.
Absolutely ruin you.
I wouldn't.
But...
Not me, but a guy.
I was in one hockey fight growing up.
Field?
I got sent to a...
She was big, though.
She was the coach.
She was big.
I went for the biggest one.
Let me tell you something.
You got the biggest one.
You own the litter.
When I found out that men played field hockey in other parts of the world, I
was like, God
damn, that's wild.
My wife's whole family.
Really?
They're all the...
Everybody played...
That's what they played.
Hockey.
The Irish have a game like that.
All their friends.
I don't know if they wear the skirts.
All their friends, they're like, that's where they all met.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bonkos.
Mm-hmm.
They're all gay.
That's true.
Don't tell her why.
There's nothing wrong with it.
Yep.
Graham, give us the backstory, baby.
Where are you from?
I'm from Ottawa.
Ottawa, Canada.
Where I specifically got to represent.
We're going to have a great year.
There you go.
No sense.
Could you get more wrinkles on it?
Yeah.
Did you iron that with an egg beater?
What the fuck?
Yeah, yeah.
I was up in a Corvette last night.
It's not a good system.
What you do is you wash your clothes.
Uh-huh.
And then you get distracted or you run out of time.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, I see.
When you hustle like me, when you're always on the grind, you run out of time.
And, you know, this was in the drawer.
I figured by the time.
That's wild.
That's wild.
That made it to the drawer?
Yeah.
You would have said I forgot the laundry.
It was on the corner of the bed.
I get it.
Yeah, not good.
Because do you have a unit in the apartment?
Do you have a washer and dryer?
Yes.
You do?
Wait, in your...
In the basement.
In the basement.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Because, okay, so you got to go down to the basement.
I do this.
I walk to the laundry mat next door.
Yeah.
You wash them.
You dry them.
Then you just throw them in the bag and you bring them upstairs.
You got to get to them in like two seconds or they're screwed.
But what if you're grinding?
Yeah, if you're out there grinding.
Gary Vee don't have time to fold clothes.
You line muscle, wrinkled clothes?
No.
No.
I'm from Ottawa.
Right back into it.
This guy's a professional.
He don't have time.
He's grinding his guy.
Buddy, I got to get this over with so we can get to the next segment.
I got three minutes.
I got a commercial break.
Jesus.
I got specials to move.
Let's go.
I'm not here to talk about my goddamn laundry.
Yeah, it's the, you know, there's no fluff and fold.
Sure.
Just a fluff.
Hey, I understand.
I understand.
Jam it in the Ikea bag.
So you don't fold it in the laundry bag, I would assume.
I bring it up and I leave it.
I usually try and fold it.
Uh-huh.
But sometimes, you know, I got stuff.
Sure, you got stuff going on.
You know, I got to go to bed.
I got to go to bed.
I hate it, man.
I hate laundry.
I hate it quick.
I just know that two hours or whatever is going to fucking suck.
And that's just what I do.
Yeah.
It's tough.
You're good.
All right.
Back to Ottawa.
Anyway.
Mom, dad, brothers, sisters, lay it on us.
I got a dad.
Uh-huh.
I got a mom.
Okay.
Look at you.
I got a brother.
Cool.
And he has autism.
Okay.
And I take care of him a lot growing up.
Older or younger?
He's younger.
Younger.
Three years younger.
Verbal, nonverbal?
Verbal, but he's, you know, 36 now.
And he has a, you know, he's like a five-year-old or six-year-old.
Gotcha.
Like he sent, yesterday he sent a picture to everybody.
Don't make me laugh at this, whatever it's going to be.
Come on.
The tension is crazy.
Like he sent out, I'm like, oh God.
He has an email list.
If you get on the email list, you're on, you're just on it.
You can't get off it.
Is that true?
Yeah.
One lady.
One lady.
One lady.
One lady asked to get off.
She signed up.
From his special needs program was like, get me off this email list.
And he was like, you don't, you don't talk to me that way.
He called her a damn blasted woman.
And I was like, where'd he get damn?
I think it's because he just.
Is he from Deadwood?
No, I think you, I think that's, you get those, your insults.
If you only watch Inspector Gadget.
You have Inspector Gadget.
You know?
I'm with you.
Anyway, he sent a picture of a, of, of a toothbrush that he got.
Ninety-four people.
Ninety-four people are on this list.
We don't even have 94 people on our email list.
No, he's good.
He's good.
He collects them and he does, you are on.
There's no MailChimp unsubscribe.
I love that.
And he, one time, so, so, Greg Stone.
I'm very familiar, previous guest.
Shout out to Stoney.
Greg Stone's on it.
They're coming to the same person.
Greg Stone gave him some Spider-Man figurines.
And so, you know, he's on the,
he's on the email list, can't get off.
And he sent them, he's like.
The lifetime memory.
Greg Stone was like, I was having a bad day, you know?
And, and, and I saw this, like, group email.
And I was like, with a picture.
And I was like, people are always trying to, you know?
And he's like, you know what, from Peter, let me click on it.
And it was just a picture of him making a grilled cheese sandwich.
That'll brighten my day.
And he was like, mass is all right.
Mass is all right.
Life's, life's pretty good.
You know what I mean?
What am I all, what am I upset about?
This is a grown man.
I'm going to make a grilled cheese sandwich.
I love it.
Does he still live with your mom and dad?
They, all my, all of their extra, like, all their savings,
or not their, but all my, like, inheritance,
they used to, to buy him a one-bedroom apart