Name: PATREON! Hard Feelings: The Soundbar (Are You Garbage)
Uploaded: 2022-10-18T17:00:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'PATREON! Hard Feelings: The Soundbar (Are You Garbage)' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'PATREON! Hard Feelings: The Soundbar (Are You Garbage)' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-18. Transcript available.

Are you garbage?
By the way, this is more of a hard feeling.
My soundbar does not work.
The volume button doesn't work.
You mute it, and it turns itself back on.
If you turn it off, it turns itself back on,
and it's a double echo between the TV volume and there.
I gotta have somebody come and take a look at it.
Your TV stinks, and that's the issue.
Or you hooked it up wrong.
Why would it turn on?
What is this, AI?
What'd you fucking sell me?
Is it going to attack me in the middle of the house?
I have one in my house.
You know, I got no screens.
I have one in my house.
It works perfect.
This is all a ploy to steal my screens.
How's yours working, Kippy?
Yeah, I can tell you for one fact.
That's not a word.
That's not a sign.
I can tell you for a Johnny Stevenson fact.
That is never getting hooked up.
No, it's going to stay in his trunk.
It's still in his trunk.
I would bet, I would.
It is not in my trunk.
I would argue.
It's in the back seat.
It is not in the back seat.
I would argue to believe that is no longer in his possession anymore.
It's not in the front seat.
That is no longer in his possession.
That got left down the shore.
It's down the shore.
Are you fucking kidding?
No, we're going to use it down the shore.
Well, we go there once every three years.
It's for my new shore house.
What?
You gave me a gift?
Wait, what new shore house?
I'm kidding.
Oh, yeah.
The one you're buying in 12 years?
Wait till that recession hits.
Just waiting for the market to drop.
How can you be mad at me for using the gift how I want to use the gift?
As in not using it.
As in using my family's vacation home.
What?
That's crazy.
Why?
Because it's for your house.
No, you got me a gift.
It's crazy.
Which stinks.
It's crazy that you've been ramming these down our throats.
That's not how gifts work.
No, then you let them in for six months.
Then you find out the volume button don't work.
No, you hooked it up wrong.
This guy got us a Willard.
You stink.
I don't need this thing teaming up with the blender to come get me.
Are you fucking serious?
You have a nice TV with horrible speakers on it.
Why wouldn't you want nice speakers?
It doesn't work.
You set it up wrong.
I didn't.
Did you plug it into the ARC port?
Hey, nerd alert.
That sounds like Dungeons and Dragons anal over there.
I'll give you an ARC port.
She wouldn't let me put it in the ARC port.
Trying to get this drug so I can stick it in her ARC port.
What?
What are you saying?
A couple of sprits if she gives up the old ARC port.
You see what I do with people?
Do you see this?
Drop it in the HDMI.
You hear him complaining.
He doesn't even know how it works.
Birthday.
Jesus Christ.
Well, I'll tell you one thing for sure.
Christmas is fucking canceled.
I'm getting you a drum set.
I'm doubling down.
I think I've said that.
I ain't stopping until you got a whole band.
You bring the Jackson 5 in here.
You've been selling me this line.
We rearranged the whole thing.
We did buy an extension for the TV stand to do it.
Wait, you bought another one?
What?
You have another sound bar at the house.
You went and bought a proper one.
What do you mean a proper one?
Not when you got a Dave and Buster's.
Yeah.
How many tickets is that, by the way?
Having a hot hand in a skee-ball game.
Also, you're all high and mighty on your gift giving.
You lied to him for six months.
Six fucking months.
You lied to him.
And I got news for you.
That Nintendo Switch stinks, too.
You bought it.
Fucking Mario Kart.
I know.
It's not good.
Get the fuck out of here.
It's not good.
Can't watch porn on it or nothing.
But it was because you had just broken his heart about the base.
He lied to you.
I'm at least honest.
And now he's yelling it off for a dirt ball.
Who gives a gift and screams at the recipients about the gift?
Because you've been saying it for months.
I know.
But then I got down to shore.
It was in the trunk.
I said, you know, better off throwing it out here.
Hey, his pickup on Sunday?
I'm never giving you a gift ever again, either one of you.
How much were they?
What does that have to do with anything?
Because I think they're cheap and they stink.
That's what it has to do with.
Guess how much it is.
$40.
You're fucking insane.
$35.
$19.99.
They were $200 a piece.
Oh, man.
You got T-boed right there.
No, you set it up wrong.
I'm still laughing at the oven.
I'm over.
I have it on the oven.
I'm cooking in surround sound.
You hear that sizzle?
That ain't no Dolby.
You can actually smell the cheese.
We got to figure it out.
We got to redo Christmas.
Some adjustments need to be made.
Let's just give each other cash.
We're not giving each other anything.
No, we got to.
We've got a year of content out of this.
What are you, crazy?
It's fun.
I love that you left it down the shore.
Where do you have it?
In the trunk?
Got that all set up over there nice.
Sounds great, doesn't it?
Yeah, it sounds real good.
In my garage.
I am legitimately personally insulted by that, dude.
That's crazy.
He's using the box to keep pool noodles in.
Okay, be honest.
Did you throw it out?
You threw it out.
You threw it out.
I didn't.
I didn't throw it.
Where is it in your butt?
It's in the fucking garage.
It's not in the air conditioning, I can tell you that.
Whatever it is, there is no central air.
That's definitely in the garage.
Do they have central air at the city?
No.
Where is it?
You threw it out.
You threw that thing out.
Fuck, why didn't I just throw mine out?
Damn it.
I got a fucking fight Terminator in the middle of the night.
All right, I wouldn't say it's at my mom's house, per se.
It's within the city limits.
It's on the property.
You don't have a shed.
No.
It's in a trash can.
No, no, no.
It's being used.
It's hooked up.
Really?
Yeah, it is hooked up.
Volunteer fire station?
What do you have?
Did you give it to your cousins that hooked the bar up?
Yes.
Did you tell them it was, you bought them a gift?
Or did you say, hey, Toby gave me this and it sucks.
Do you want it?
No.
Was Toby's name mentioned when you went?
Yes.
For sure.
For sure.
For sure.
Yeah, I got Toby one, too.
He loves the thing.
No.
You re-gifted?
I didn't re-gift.
No, he's got to pull.
Listen, it's a conglomerate of houses.
No.
They're at that house all the time.
It is.
That's a Sullivan household.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bring the base down there.
No, so.
That base would look nice in their garage.
It's turned into Tootie South.
It wouldn't bother me.
Oh, that's pretty good.
It wouldn't bother me if you had tried it.
You lied to me for six months.
This is like a full.
This is like your stance in this argument is Foley-esque.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Listen to my argument.
Listen to my argument.
Didn't I ask you before I got it for you?
Didn't I tell you what I was getting you?
No.
Why didn't you just say you had one?
I could have took it back.
I could have been playing Mario Kart all this time.
Barely even a Jedi in my fucking Star Wars game.
Listen, listen.
My deceptional.
Man, we are dysfunctional, dude.
My deception.
As I hand it to him, I'm like, this is going to come out at some point.
I was standing.
As you handed it to who?
As I hand it to my cousin, Brendan.
I was like, this is, in my head, I'm like, this is bad.
But we, in my, in.
I fucking knew it.
This is, this is why.
This is why it upsets me.
Probably still in his car.
It's not even in the state.
Buried it in the Pine Barrens.
This is why it, things started shooting back at me.
This is why it bothers me.
It's because if you had tried it and been like, it's, I don't like the way it
sounds.
I would be like, fine.
That's reasonable.
Sure.
It's that you don't know.
You've never had.
He didn't have a TV.
Don't you watch shit on your laptop?
He just got a brand new.
I got a sick frame.
Which has horrible speakers on it.
It's how they bring the price down on the quality image.
Yeah, but I understand.
I understand.
I don't care about how my TV sounds.
And I know that it's tough for you to.
But it's only because you don't know.
Yeah, but I don't care.
That's so fucking mean.
What?
But you don't know.
I'm telling you it's better.
I'm not saying it's not better.
I don't care how my TV sounds.
You spent thousands of dollars for an image with no good audio.
It's June and you're just telling that now.
I don't care how my TV sounds.
No, in a perfect world.
See, this is a little bit of Toby's fault, by the way.
No, it's not.
Yeah, he buys shitty gifts.
No, I got you good gifts that you're too dumb for.
You set your...
Oh, that's a nice thing to say to somebody.
The watch is the only thing.
And the thousand fucking dollars we gave you.
Oh, yeah.
A thousand jihads.
You don't got to hook that up to nothing.
Yeah.
Man.
That was a good gift.
What is it?
A clerk?
What's the company's name?
Polk.
Don't they make meat?
No, they make...
Isn't that a pork company?
Polk?
It's the best sounding sound bars for the value.
I had one of their sandwiches last week.
For the value.
That's what garbage people say.
Oh, yeah.
For the money, it's the best you got.
All right.
This is...
No, you have money.
It sucks.
No, it's just...
A lot of the sound bars have features that you guys will never use.
Yeah, like a sound bar.
Or working.
Or a volume button.
If you hook it up correctly, your regular remote handles the volume.
Mine might not be hooked up correctly.
I'm looking into it now.
Because I didn't realize...
The bird hooked it up.
I didn't realize it on top is controls as well.
Yeah.
It's a quality product.
I'm just guessing.
I don't really know.
I didn't realize there was a looper in the...
I didn't realize I had to refrig the fracker, John.
Man.
We should start bringing that on the road with us.
That thing setting it up in every green room?
It's easy.
You just use the megaport.
It does function as a Bluetooth speaker.
So it came up.
For a robot assassin.
Of course, I'm going to kill you in your sleep.
What's it called?
The orc port?
The arc port.
Arc port.
It's like that weird little plug, right?
They're all weird little plugs these days.
It's an HDMI port that also handles audio.
Yeah, I know.
I helped my cousin set it up a little bit.
I'm literally never giving either one of you a gift ever again.
I'll show you a picture.
It looks good.
It's good.
I'll use...
Dude.
All right.
Hold on.
Let's fucking put it in.
I hope it's still in the box.
Just sitting on the table.
No, look.
Oh, B-Kell's B-Kell's.
Oh, man.
That's good shit.
That is...
Come on.
That looks all right.
That's where that thing belongs.
Yeah.
It's mounted.
It's hanging on the wall.
That's nice.
That's where that belongs.
What are they watching over there?
I don't know.
Some little scantily clad.
Charlie D'Amelio or whatever.
Wow.
That looks really nice.
Found a good home.
Found a good home.
They have any of their TVs in that house?
They get used another one.
Only used once.
Hey, B-Kell's, hit me up if you want one for the inside, too.
I have five months to plan my vengeance.
What, are you going to give us a worse gift?
I got you.
All right.
It's a wheelbarrow.
So, listen.
Toby made me take that the other day.
He made me take it.
I slipped up and...
He made me take it, too.
I slipped up and said I was driving.
You're lucky it was light.
Otherwise, that thing...
Oh, dude, I would have left it in the parking garage.
I would have kicked that thing out in the fucking hallway.
I was going to get you a sicker one that had, like, a subwoofer, and then I was
like,
they'll complain.
So, I got you just the bar.
Thank you.
That's the nicest gift anyone's ever given me.
Not giving me something I got to carry upstairs.
That may or may not work.
So, there was a long shot.
I told you.
I got to take that home when I'm in the mood to set that up because I'm not a
set-up guy
at the house.
Because one, again, and this sounds mean.
I didn't mean it to be mean.
It's two plugs.
But I don't care about how my TV sounds.
I understand that's a thing.
You're not letting me explain.
I understand that's a thing for you, and it is better.
I'm not saying it's not better.
It's probably...
Yeah, Radio Shack.
We're not dorks over here.
Ten thousand times better.
No, you're just dumbasses.
I just...
It doesn't mean anything to me.
There's no...
So, I'm going...
It will when you hear it, and you're like, wow, I've been living in the goddamn
Stone Age.
I'm not going to hear it.
You sound like Buck in Boogie Nights trying to sell those stereos.
Yeah, walking around with your bone density scanner.
You hear that?
That's the maximum orc port allowed by law.
So, he gives it to me.
I begrudgingly take it, put it in my car.
I saw you carrying that thing like it was Jesus on the cross.
You were dead in the water, because that's where that thing was going to live
for the foreseeable future.
Because I wasn't in the...
Because in my head, I'm going, I'm going to take this up.
It's going to be a thing.
It's going to be sitting there.
She's going to go, hook it up.
When are you hooking it up?
But he showed up at his cousin's, forgot a bottle of wine, was rummaged around
in the trunk.
Oh, shit.
No, it worked out perfectly.
It was in the trunk.
We drive down the shore that next day or that next morning, or even that night,
I think.
I can't believe Nadine signed off on this.
It was her idea.
So, we're sitting there, and he's going...
Yeah, she knows trash when she sees it.
Get rid of that thing in her apartment.
Get that thing out of here.
No, Sennheiser, I'll tell you that much.
I am...
Done!
Sennheiser, a German company?
That sounds like a German name.
Could be Swiss or something.
I don't know.
So...
Keep an eye on him.
Either way.
Either way, keep him on a short leash.
Keep the funding down, will you?
I don't know what they're doing with their money.
Number 10, overpriced mini bar.
No, so we're there.
We're hanging out at the bar.
He's christened the bar.
Just got done everything, and he needs a sound system.
So, he's playing music out of a solo cup in his phone.
You want him doing that?
So, Nadine goes...
He goes, oh, I got to get something for the TV and for the music.
And I go, I didn't even think...
I'm about fucking 19 claws deep at this point.
Foley toes, as I call them.
And...
Foley toes?
Yeah, claws.
Pretty good.
I was just happy you mentioned my name in front of the family.
And she goes, oh, why don't you have that sound bar in the trunk?
She goes, I know you're never going to set that up.
And I said, you're right.
There's only one man that doesn't...
Yeah.
It's two plugs.
It is.
Because I get...
Yeah, he opened it up right away because I was leaving.
I go, oh, here you go.
I put so much thought...
I even left.
We drove about 20 minutes.
I turned around to give it back to him because I had forgotten about it.
No, I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
I dropped it off his house in Philly for him.
I was like, I have to give them an idiot-proof gift.
Go dumber.
That will enrich their lives.
Don't go technological.
Just get us some bananas next year.
Get me a catcher's mitt or something.
I know what I'm getting you next year.
What?
I'm not telling.
This is what we'll do.
Save time.
Call your cousin.
Ask him what he needs down at the house.
Before you go make any purchases.
But you made someone's.
He was stoked.
So stoked.
He couldn't find the ARC port.
I swear to God, on his TV, it wasn't opened up.
You have to crack a little piece of plastic off to get to the ARC port.
These must be delicate ports.
Basically a standard HDMI port.
But he couldn't.
Because his had a cap on it or something.
So he couldn't find it.
And I go, hey man, if it doesn't work, I don't know, whatever.
And he's like, oh no, we're getting it to fucking work.
And then he was fucking super pumped, sent me the picture.
He's like, we're all jacked up.
There you go.
So I got to use it all summer.
Which is more than I would use it if it would live in my kitchen.
You would use it every time you turn your TV on.
That's under the assumption I would ever set it up.
And he doesn't really watch that much TV.
Yeah, I don't need surround sound for Shark Tank.
It's not surround sound.
For that reason, I'm out.
Your gift stinks for that reason.
Your TV is the equivalent of a cell phone in a paper cup.
Yeah, I don't know where the...
I've never been like, the audio on this TV is good.
It doesn't register.
If I can hear it, I go, it's good.
I listen to talking shows.
I'm not like, there's no explosions or anything.
Hey, he's not watching Avatar.
Yeah.
It's all the same stuff.
It's Judge Judy.
It's fucking whatever.
You know what I mean?
These are your heroes.
I have a headache.
Dear listeners.
All right, so Bluetooth speaker at the merch table.

PATREON! Hard Feelings: The Soundbar (Are You Garbage)

Are you garbage?
By the way, this is more of a hard feeling.
My soundbar does not work.
The volume button doesn't work.
You mute it, and it turns itself back on.
If you turn it off, it turns itself back on,
and it's a double echo between the TV volume and there.
I gotta have somebody come and take a look at it.
Your TV stinks, and that's the issue.
Or you hooked it up wrong.
Why would it turn on?
What is this, AI?
What'd you fucking sell me?
Is it going to attack me in the middle of the house?
I have one in my house.
You know, I got no screens.
I have one in my house.
It works perfect.
This is all a ploy to steal my screens.
How's yours working, Kippy?
Yeah, I can tell you for one fact.
That's not a word.
That's not a sign.
I can tell you for a Johnny Stevenson fact.
That is never getting hooked up.
No, it's going to stay in his trunk.
It's still in his trunk.
I would bet, I would.
It is not in my trunk.
I would argue.
It's in the back seat.
It is not in the back seat.
I would argue to believe that is no longer in his possession anymore.
It's not in the front seat.
That is no longer in his possession.
That got left down the shore.
It's down the shore.
Are you fucking kidding?
No, we're going to use it down the shore.
Well, we go there once every three years.
It's for my new shore house.
What?
You gave me a gift?
Wait, what new shore house?
I'm kidding.
Oh, yeah.
The one you're buying in 12 years?
Wait till that recession hits.
Just waiting for the market to drop.
How can you be mad at me for using the gift how I want to use the gift?
As in not using it.
As in using my family's vacation home.
What?
That's crazy.
Why?
Because it's for your house.
No, you got me a gift.
It's crazy.
Which stinks.
It's crazy that you've been ramming these down our throats.
That's not how gifts work.
No, then you let them in for six months.
Then you find out the volume button don't work.
No, you hooked it up wrong.
This guy got us a Willard.
You stink.
I don't need this thing teaming up with the blender to come get me.
Are you fucking serious?
You have a nice TV with horrible speakers on it.
Why wouldn't you want nice speakers?
It doesn't work.
You set it up wrong.
I didn't.
Did you plug it into the ARC port?
Hey, nerd alert.
That sounds like Dungeons and Dragons anal over there.
I'll give you an ARC port.
She wouldn't let me put it in the ARC port.
Trying to get this drug so I can stick it in her ARC port.
What?
What are you saying?
A couple of sprits if she gives up the old ARC port.
You see what I do with people?
Do you see this?
Drop it in the HDMI.
You hear him complaining.
He doesn't even know how it works.
Birthday.
Jesus Christ.
Well, I'll tell you one thing for sure.
Christmas is fucking canceled.
I'm getting you a drum set.
I'm doubling down.
I think I've said that.
I ain't stopping until you got a whole band.
You bring the Jackson 5 in here.
You've been selling me this line.
We rearranged the whole thing.
We did buy an extension for the TV stand to do it.
Wait, you bought another one?
What?
You have another sound bar at the house.
You went and bought a proper one.
What do you mean a proper one?
Not when you got a Dave and Buster's.
Yeah.
How many tickets is that, by the way?
Having a hot hand in a skee-ball game.
Also, you're all high and mighty on your gift giving.
You lied to him for six months.
Six fucking months.
You lied to him.
And I got news for you.
That Nintendo Switch stinks, too.
You bought it.
Fucking Mario Kart.
I know.
It's not good.
Get the fuck out of here.
It's not good.
Can't watch porn on it or nothing.
But it was because you had just broken his heart about the base.
He lied to you.
I'm at least honest.
And now he's yelling it off for a dirt ball.
Who gives a gift and screams at the recipients about the gift?
Because you've been saying it for months.
I know.
But then I got down to shore.
It was in the trunk.
I said, you know, better off throwing it out here.
Hey, his pickup on Sunday?
I'm never giving you a gift ever again, either one of you.
How much were they?
What does that have to do with anything?
Because I think they're cheap and they stink.
That's what it has to do with.
Guess how much it is.
$40.
You're fucking insane.
$35.
$19.99.
They were $200 a piece.
Oh, man.
You got T-boed right there.
No, you set it up wrong.
I'm still laughing at the oven.
I'm over.
I have it on the oven.
I'm cooking in surround sound.
You hear that sizzle?
That ain't no Dolby.
You can actually smell the cheese.
We got to figure it out.
We got to redo Christmas.
Some adjustments need to be made.
Let's just give each other cash.
We're not giving each other anything.
No, we got to.
We've got a year of content out of this.
What are you, crazy?
It's fun.
I love that you left it down the shore.
Where do you have it?
In the trunk?
Got that all set up over there nice.
Sounds great, doesn't it?
Yeah, it sounds real good.
In my garage.
I am legitimately personally insulted by that, dude.
That's crazy.
He's using the box to keep pool noodles in.
Okay, be honest.
Did you throw it out?
You threw it out.
You threw it out.
I didn't.
I didn't throw it.
Where is it in your butt?
It's in the fucking garage.
It's not in the air conditioning, I can tell you that.
Whatever it is, there is no central air.
That's definitely in the garage.
Do they have central air at the city?
No.
Where is it?
You threw it out.
You threw that thing out.
Fuck, why didn't I just throw mine out?
Damn it.
I got a fucking fight Terminator in the middle of the night.
All right, I wouldn't say it's at my mom's house, per se.
It's within the city limits.
It's on the property.
You don't have a shed.
No.
It's in a trash can.
No, no, no.
It's being used.
It's hooked up.
Really?
Yeah, it is hooked up.
Volunteer fire station?
What do you have?
Did you give it to your cousins that hooked the bar up?
Yes.
Did you tell them it was, you bought them a gift?
Or did you say, hey, Toby gave me this and it sucks.
Do you want it?
No.
Was Toby's name mentioned when you went?
Yes.
For sure.
For sure.
For sure.
Yeah, I got Toby one, too.
He loves the thing.
No.
You re-gifted?
I didn't re-gift.
No, he's got to pull.
Listen, it's a conglomerate of houses.
No.
They're at that house all the time.
It is.
That's a Sullivan household.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bring the base down there.
No, so.
That base would look nice in their garage.
It's turned into Tootie South.
It wouldn't bother me.
Oh, that's pretty good.
It wouldn't bother me if you had tried it.
You lied to me for six months.
This is like a full.
This is like your stance in this argument is Foley-esque.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Listen to my argument.
Listen to my argument.
Didn't I ask you before I got it for you?
Didn't I tell you what I was getting you?
No.
Why didn't you just say you had one?
I could have took it back.
I could have been playing Mario Kart all this time.
Barely even a Jedi in my fucking Star Wars game.
Listen, listen.
My deceptional.
Man, we are dysfunctional, dude.
My deception.
As I hand it to him, I'm like, this is going to come out at some point.
I was standing.
As you handed it to who?
As I hand it to my cousin, Brendan.
I was like, this is, in my head, I'm like, this is bad.
But we, in my, in.
I fucking knew it.
This is, this is why.
This is why it upsets me.
Probably still in his car.
It's not even in the state.
Buried it in the Pine Barrens.
This is why it, things started shooting back at me.
This is why it bothers me.
It's because if you had tried it and been like, it's, I don't like the way it
sounds.
I would be like, fine.
That's reasonable.
Sure.
It's that you don't know.
You've never had.
He didn't have a TV.
Don't you watch shit on your laptop?
He just got a brand new.
I got a sick frame.
Which has horrible speakers on it.
It's how they bring the price down on the quality image.
Yeah, but I understand.
I understand.
I don't care about how my TV sounds.
And I know that it's tough for you to.
But it's only because you don't know.
Yeah, but I don't care.
That's so fucking mean.
What?
But you don't know.
I'm telling you it's better.
I'm not saying it's not better.
I don't care how my TV sounds.
You spent thousands of dollars for an image with no good audio.
It's June and you're just telling that now.
I don't care how my TV sounds.
No, in a perfect world.
See, this is a little bit of Toby's fault, by the way.
No, it's not.
Yeah, he buys shitty gifts.
No, I got you good gifts that you're too dumb for.
You set your...
Oh, that's a nice thing to say to somebody.
The watch is the only thing.
And the thousand fucking dollars we gave you.
Oh, yeah.
A thousand jihads.
You don't got to hook that up to nothing.
Yeah.
Man.
That was a good gift.
What is it?
A clerk?
What's the company's name?
Polk.
Don't they make meat?
No, they make...
Isn't that a pork company?
Polk?
It's the best sounding sound bars for the value.
I had one of their sandwiches last week.
For the value.
That's what garbage people say.
Oh, yeah.
For the money, it's the best you got.
All right.
This is...
No, you have money.
It sucks.
No, it's just...
A lot of the sound bars have features that you guys will never use.
Yeah, like a sound bar.
Or working.
Or a volume button.
If you hook it up correctly, your regular remote handles the volume.
Mine might not be hooked up correctly.
I'm looking into it now.
Because I didn't realize...
The bird hooked it up.
I didn't realize it on top is controls as well.
Yeah.
It's a quality product.
I'm just guessing.
I don't really know.
I didn't realize there was a looper in the...
I didn't realize I had to refrig the fracker, John.
Man.
We should start bringing that on the road with us.
That thing setting it up in every green room?
It's easy.
You just use the megaport.
It does function as a Bluetooth speaker.
So it came up.
For a robot assassin.
Of course, I'm going to kill you in your sleep.
What's it called?
The orc port?
The arc port.
Arc port.
It's like that weird little plug, right?
They're all weird little plugs these days.
It's an HDMI port that also handles audio.
Yeah, I know.
I helped my cousin set it up a little bit.
I'm literally never giving either one of you a gift ever again.
I'll show you a picture.
It looks good.
It's good.
I'll use...
Dude.
All right.
Hold on.
Let's fucking put it in.
I hope it's still in the box.
Just sitting on the table.
No, look.
Oh, B-Kell's B-Kell's.
Oh, man.
That's good shit.
That is...
Come on.
That looks all right.
That's where that thing belongs.
Yeah.
It's mounted.
It's hanging on the wall.
That's nice.
That's where that belongs.
What are they watching over there?
I don't know.
Some little scantily clad.
Charlie D'Amelio or whatever.
Wow.
That looks really nice.
Found a good home.
Found a good home.
They have any of their TVs in that house?
They get used another one.
Only used once.
Hey, B-Kell's, hit me up if you want one for the inside, too.
I have five months to plan my vengeance.
What, are you going to give us a worse gift?
I got you.
All right.
It's a wheelbarrow.
So, listen.
Toby made me take that the other day.
He made me take it.
I slipped up and...
He made me take it, too.
I slipped up and said I was driving.
You're lucky it was light.
Otherwise, that thing...
Oh, dude, I would have left it in the parking garage.
I would have kicked that thing out in the fucking hallway.
I was going to get you a sicker one that had, like, a subwoofer, and then I was
like,
they'll complain.
So, I got you just the bar.
Thank you.
That's the nicest gift anyone's ever given me.
Not giving me something I got to carry upstairs.
That may or may not work.
So, there was a long shot.
I told you.
I got to take that home when I'm in the mood to set that up because I'm not a
set-up guy
at the house.
Because one, again, and this sounds mean.
I didn't mean it to be mean.
It's two plugs.
But I don't care about how my TV sounds.
I understand that's a thing.
You're not letting me explain.
I understand that's a thing for you, and it is better.
I'm not saying