Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Mark Normand - Dine & Dash
Uploaded: 2022-10-30T23:00:25.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Mark Normand - Dine & Dash' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Mark Normand - Dine & Dash' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-30. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Mark Normand - Dine & Dash

attention attention bozos and homies we got the card game for sale which is
running out and we
also got some live dates that just keep on trucking gang the card game is
running out we're
running out of supplies do yourself a favor act now pick up the card we're
never making it again
it's the last time we're making this edition so do yourself a favor pick up a
pack let's go uh
yeah guys we also uh this month in november we have two shows in atlanta one
sold out early
tickets still left for the early show and then we're going to charlotte north
carolina get those
tickies philadelphia two shows are sold out we got some tickets left in providence
on the second show
get those tickets and boston's about to sell out if you're in if you're in beantown
let's go let's
party do it gang we love you gang this episode is brought to you by our good
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that's all well and good but be fucking cool become a lord that's what i'm
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channel do it yeah welcome
to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if
your favorite comedians
are classy individuals or absolute trash now here are your hosts kevin ryan and
h foley
hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast
this is are you garbage oh
yeah it's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find
it out to group to
be classy or if they're just a big old piece of trash i'm your host h foley
coming at you on a beautiful
day it's halloween down here in aunt hoody's basement you ain't lying she's
upstairs loading up
the cooler giving away four locos this year all right make sure you stop by do
these early kids
because the watermelon ones are going to go quick my co-host is coming at you
from right next to me
he is the ceo of are you garbage she's dressed like sam elliott for halloween
give it up for kj
kevin james ryan what's up gang i knew i was going to get shit on this uh i
bought it in europe
all right i'm trying to expand my horizons you got the dickies in europe yeah
that's trash it was
discount too not bragging i got my car heart from milan it only cost them three
krueger your thought
is i went all the way to europe and where high fashion is and i bought dickies
fair enough uh guys make
sure you review subscribe on itunes full video available on youtube as you know
those numbers are
closing in on a hundred thousand and obviously the greatest website of all time
www.patreon.com
slash are you garbage check it the fuck out gang it's a party over there yeah
do us a solid gang
having a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire the magic man
makes us all look
good works the ones and twos crosses the t's and dots the i's give it up for t-bone
mcscruffins
toby mcmullen everybody what's up dude what's up speaking of bone you got a
you got a unit i can see it from here you didn't know that he's got a hog
legendary i can't not
look at it i don't need to say anything else sorry sorry he's got that big old
sausage oh yeah bone
in holy hell fucking tomahawk jones over here yeah right gang we couldn't be
more excited to have our
incredibly special there was a comic in the 70s who was a native american now
he'd go hi how are you
yeah yeah yeah i'm carson swear to god there's a good bit then it's a good bit
now it still works
sorry that'll be silly ladies and gentlemen called the guardian all right we
could now people are
excited to have our incredibly special guests back with us again today he's
family at this point
this might be your number five maybe four or five you're up there you know him
from we might be
drunk you know him from tuesdays with stories he's all over the place got a
theater tour kicking off
baby out there doing theaters pick up a couple of takes mark norman comedy.com
ladies and gentlemen
give it up mark norman everybody look at him hey good to be back came in look
looking tight when you
came in too thank you i did a pull up on a scaffolding like a real mooc oh that's
a real dirtball
right gets the blood pumping you know i made what are those pants you're
wearing they seem expensive
no they were a gift i got them uh in europe they were a gift from chubbies chubbies
will throw me
some free clothes every now and then leisure wear i believe it's called thank
you salvocano put us
onto that chubbies huh really like the sound of that notice like the guys who
would work the least
wear the most like leisurely shit yeah you know it's track suits it's velour it's
a bathrobe
these guys aren't doing shit i know i that's why like i it's a mental thing for
me like if i don't
put on a pair of jeans and something i feel like i'm not working right i'm like
i gotta be a little
bit uncomfortable in a pair of jeans if i'm too comfortable in sweatpants i
feel like the biggest
piece of shit you know you see these queefs at the airport they're full it's
crazy dude up to top
with crocs on they got the hood up and a pillow you're sitting next to one over
here put a pair
of denim on i'm currently i'm currently wearing uh shorts short pajama sleepers
it's bad with crocs
with no shoes look at those or crocs with no socks got some gams over here some
ham rocks baby
this is a penn station outfit right here all he needs a pair of alligator shoes
to go with it
eating a dunking donut sandwich out of the bag oh here's i got no spots tonight
and i'm going back
to clean my apartment so i wanted to stay in the so you showed up to work like
a homeless guy plus i
have no clothes you're dressed for a call for help oh man i do look like a
jumper don't i like a 10
o'clock jumper on the gw bridge i heard you're on the weight loss game now all
right you're trying
i heard you're trying i don't know i am trying mark thank you very much i
appreciate it no he's not
check out that patreon.com for updates it ain't good oh sorry i didn't mean to
bring i went i went i
dropped about 30 and then i went up about 20. so i'm trying to go back down
again low 10 that was
yesterday damn you talk about weight like a casino i'm up i'm up right now they
switched dealers i got
screwed pit boss give me the eye it's a barbecue pit boss
so i got a heater already playing with rib bones he loves chips
i do like chips that's good halloween yes you got that right no candy corn
please you
the worst candy corn's the worst that's crazy talk yuck chalky waxy gross i don't
mind it in very
small a hand like a one handful in the season that'll be it i love it here i
love it i like
the pumpkins too the candy corn pumpkins those are better the whole nine yards
i'm all about it what
did you what did you do as a kid for how did you have like a traditional house-to-house
wasn't a
great neighborhood right no we lived in a rough area so we'd go to my friend's
house in the suburb
and the parents would kind of lag 10 feet behind and we would all skip to the
loo with our little
jack-o-lanterns although i did a schwegman's bag which is our grocer
schwegman plastic bag or yeah grocery bag double bagged and uh you know you you
you dress i always did
the uh i dressed up too late and just would put something on one time i put on
a vest and my
friend's like what are you i'm like i'm a spy and they were like i'm a gay spy
obviously yeah
i could see you phoning it with the costume big phone big phone did you ever
have like a proper
what what was your bet do you remember your best one of like you maybe your mom
hit it out of the
park or for whatever reason you splurged a couple of bucks well remember this
is the late 80s
early 90s so i did a couple uh a couple native ameres that was big back you
could buy that at
the store at the time though that's not your fault totally with the full
feather and everything scalp
the bow and arrow too yeah that was big a little dart uh so but then the the
the big one was the uh
the ghost with the sheet but you're so close to clan you know you're real real
close especially in
the south that's a bad look yeah you'd make the wrong turn yeah but uh it was
fun i mean halloween was
huge just the free the idea of anything free giving away to children was huge
yeah and also down there
too don't they really get into that the real the spooky side of things oh we're
very spooky yeah
and and also pre-internet we had a couple houses on uh on our route to school
that would really go
hard love that did you guys have that in your city of course yeah there's
always that they
someone really went heavy yeah heavy i'm talking skeletons in the front yard
and they would name the
one they would be like uh here lies jenkins or whatever no but it would be puns
i'm trying to
think of a good one like uh uh uh shit hold on we just give me give me a
celebrity al trebek all
right uh give me a location joe rivers joe rivers joe it'd be bone rivers oh
there you go i kind of
painted a corner with a blonde wig on mozart yeah henry kissinger go
yeah alex trip that's what popped in my head i don't know bad whatever happened
to him
he died right we're getting old oh yeah we are i was sad about uh the guy leslie
you know leslie
a little guy yeah no i didn't know i can't think of his last name the gay guy
he was in uh will and
grace or something uh and then he got big on like tick tock or started cooking
on uh instagram and
stuff over the pandemic doing little voices or yeah you know what we're talking
about yeah yeah i think
i know you're talking about norm mcdonald had that the great point about uh he's
like it's weird that
will and grace is like this progressive show but every time they talk about
being gay the crowd laughs
you know i think i'll be like so i hooked up with a man last night the crowd's
like yeah cue laughter
yeah well that's how is that not offensive yeah they're laughing at the wrong
thing yeah yeah norm
the king whatever happened to that guy sorry to norm yeah yeah halloween we we
we do appreciate the
ladies with the uh hori outfits in college that was the best dude a freshman in
college that really
fucking blew your head off everybody first halloween party you went to you're
like what the when it was
fresh too i feel like they didn't really unless it's just you know the way i
see it that that
didn't really start until we were getting of age that really blew up like i don't
remember as a kid
seeing like i don't think in the 60s and 70s they were dressing up as like hori
nurse maybe they were
i don't know some there was probably one girl yeah who was she was the jackie
robinson yeah let's thank
her jesus christ shout out to that dumb whore huh yeah good for her and it just
started to move because
other girls go now she's looking hotter than me i gotta compete it was having
to like the baseball
outfit it was like literally just every that was like the big joke it was like
whatever it is the
whorey version of anything and they made it work it was oh yeah sexy uh zombie
martha washington
whatever yeah sexy vampire the biggest i got fired once off a gig this is a
whole side story but i'll
make it quick no make it long i got a halloween gig somebody's like we saw you
at the comedy
cellar we like your irreverent edgy attitude whatever the fuck and it's some
exec and he hired me to
host a halloween costume contest on aol it