Name: Live in Nashville - Are You Garbage LIVE: Stand Up comedy (2022)
Uploaded: 2022-12-03T16:41:17.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Live in Nashville - Are You Garbage LIVE: Stand Up comedy (2022)' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Live in Nashville - Are You Garbage LIVE: Stand Up comedy (2022)' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-03. Transcript available.

There's a lot of ifs and thens in here.
Is it garbage if you don't have asthma,
but you keep an inhaler on you for street fights?
You motherfucker!
Who are you, Bane? What the fuck?
Let me get two-plus, I'm gonna knock you the fuck out!
I'm about to primatee miss the shit out of you, motherfucker!
I'll fuck him out! Shit!
Anybody got a puffer?
What? That is...
Man.
Do you get in a lot of street fights?
That guy was like, what the fuck did you say?
Dude, he has it on him!
Yeah, man!
What are you expecting to happen here tonight?
He looks around.
What was the last street fight you got into?
A couple months back.
A couple months?
How old are you?
38, still leaving the house, ready to go.
That kind of guy, yeah.
What was the fight over?
I was just standing outside the bank, man.
That never happens, dude.
No one's ever been like, see that guy just standing there minding his own
fucking business?
Who's ready to fight because he's got an inhaler on him?
Let's get that guy.
Let's get him.
And how'd you do?
Did you take care of him?
Yeah, I took care of him.
Like, downtown, man.
You gotta be ready for these people.
You need to take care of him.
Nine out of ten doctors recommend.
Just get a knife, dude.
What are you doing?
Get a gun.
What are we doing?
This is America.
Oh, man.
Give him a fucking round of applause.
Give him a round of applause.
That's what I'm talking about.
I told you, Nashville came to fucking play, dude.
Ooh, that's beautiful.
Where's Michael P. at?
Mikey?
There he is.
What's up, big man?
How you feeling?
Good, great.
And what kind of work do you do?
I work in IT.
Very nice.
Where'd you go to college?
New Jersey.
Okay.
What school in New Jersey?
Ocean County College.
I think he made that up, I'll be honest with you.
Also, I don't know why he went with a follow-up
when you asked him what school he went to
when he gave a state.
He was not looking for follow-up questions there.
Where'd you go to school?
New Jersey.
Keep it moving.
How'd you do in high school?
You do good?
Yeah.
Did you take the SATs or the ACTs?
You didn't take anything?
That sounds like Ocean County, New Jersey.
Ocean County College.
No tests needed.
Come on in.
How'd you get into college?
You're not taking the SATs or the ACTs?
He opened the door.
What are you talking about?
Is that where you grew up in Jersey?
Yeah.
Nice.
Okay.
It'd be weird if you went to a community college
in Jersey from Nashville.
Mom, you're not going to believe it.
I got in.
Mom, your baby boy's going to college.
A thousand miles away.
And I didn't even take the SATs, god damn it.
Find out it was online.
The server was in New Jersey.
No.
Who are you here with?
Your newlywed wife.
Let's clap it up for them.
Let's give a round of applause.
Where was the wedding?
Just stop asking questions.
Okay.
Okay.
Are you garbage if you come to a live show
the day after you get back
from your nine-day honeymoon
at Disney World
and during Hurricane Ian?
I hope that you saw a hurricane was coming
and was like,
babe, pack your bags.
They're slashing prices down there.
It's cheap as shit.
I got a $5,000 vacation for $1,800.
He did send pictures of them two
with the ears on and everything.
Standing at nine feet of water.
I was promised breakfast with the characters.
Are you two, you're Disney adults.
Where was the wedding at?
Now I can ask you.
Where was the wedding?
North Alabama.
That's the nice part of Alabama, right?
That sounds like the nice part.
Was there a cash bar
or you pay for all that?
No?
No alcohol.
No alcohol.
Are you guys 11?
What's happening here?
What's the legal age of marriage down here?
Can I stumble into something?
Can I ask you this?
How much did you guys make
off the wedding, cash-wise?
Enough for nine days in a hurricane.
Hit me with a number.
25.
25 G's?
One.
2,500?
That's what you get
not serving booze, dude.
Yeah.
Give him a nice round of applause.
That's beautiful.
And we're having fun with you.
Congratulations.
Congrats.
Give him a big round.
The newlyweds.
Love it.
You can catch them
at Six Flags next week.
For the christening.