Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Fahim Anwar
Uploaded: 2022-12-12T00:00:50.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Fahim Anwar' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Fahim Anwar' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-12. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Fahim Anwar

Gang, New Year's Day, we got a special treat for you.
Oh, baby.
Yeah, we're going to be coming to you live from Antutti's house.
Shaking off those hangovers together.
Yeah, won't be able to cut anything during this.
We're going out live, baby.
We're doing it live.
Let's go.
It's going to be fantastic.
We've got a lot of cool stuff planned.
We're going to have some guests coming by.
We're going to be a little hair and a dog.
Boys are going to be boozing.
Get rid of the hangover blues.
We got Patty and Denise making an appearance.
Yikes.
Which I haven't told her about yet.
Guys, it's all going down at Moment.com.
We're going to be live streaming Sunday, January 1st at 8 p.m. Eastern.
Sign up now.
Yeah.
Do it.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
It's a little show.
We sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find out the group to be
classy.
Yeah.
Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
Trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're down here at Aunt Tootie's basement.
She just handed me her Christmas wish list.
Okay.
A tripod and a ring light.
All right.
Fair enough.
Asking for trouble.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
I kind of got him this week.
You got me halfway.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He is an international businessman, and he's my best pal in the whole wide
world, and that's
all I want for Christmas.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
Hey, gang.
What's up?
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
As you know, those numbers are...
True to Roof.
Cooking.
Over 100K over there.
Let's go.
And obviously, the greatest goddamn website of all time, www.patreon.com slash
RU Garbage.
Talk about a fucking life-changing website, that is.
Yikes.
Fucking Google.
Kick rocks.
And then, obviously, we just announced our New York City show.
Tickets are on sale now for the Gramercy fucking theater.
Get those tickets.
Army of Garbage.
Let's sell it the fuck out.
Yeah.
Come see us, gang.
And having a nice quick shout-out to our producer extraordinaire, The Magic Man.
Makes us all look good.
Works the ones and twos.
Crosses the T's and dots the I's.
Give it up for T-Bone McMuffin.
Toby McMullen, everybody.
What's up, dudes?
What's up, T-Bone?
It's Christmas time in New York, baby.
Let's do it.
I saw Santa get stabbed on the G train.
That happens.
That'll happen.
Enough of that talk.
We have guests here.
God damn it.
Jesus Christ.
Gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly
special guest
here with us today for the first time.
He is a very funny stand-up comedian, actor, and writer, and podcaster.
And you've seen him in, but not limited to, we got Superior Donuts.
We got Drunk History, Alone Together, Goat Face,
Corporate, A Moral Compass, United States of Al, wrote 14 episodes of that.
No big deal.
It's a writer.
You also got Seth Meyers.
You got At Midnight.
You got Last Call with Carson Daly.
Tiger Belly, UTF, Joe Rogan, Conan.
He has an amazing special from 2017 called There's No Business Like Show
Business, and he also
has an absolutely fantastic brand-new special out right now called Hat Trick,
filmed at
the world-famous comedy store.
And he has an amazing podcast called Fahim Anwar Dance Hour.
Ladies and gentlemen, Fahim Anwar.
Hey.
Oh my God, thank you.
Look at me.
And he's a good-looking kid.
Good-looking kid.
For comedy.
Good-looking kid.
For comedy.
I got nervous at the end there.
For real life, you're disgusting.
You know, it makes me feel like I've done stuff when you read, because I feel
like shit
most of the time.
You have, baby.
And then you read those things, I'm like, oh yeah, I've done, I've worked.
Kid's a worker, man.
14 episodes, not too shabby.
I like the deep cut of Last Call with Carson Daly.
Hey, shout out to CD, all right?
I'm just lucky enough, I don't have that as my credit still when I hit the
stage.
Oh, yeah.
I was going to use that last.
Just expired credits.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dude, that was my thing.
See them on the Merv Griffin show.
I think it was TV shows that are no longer on the air.
It was like Laughs on Fox, Gotham Comedy Live.
Comics Unleashed.
Oh, yeah.
If I got on it, it got canceled very soon.
A couple episodes of Cops, that's all you got.
Buddy, congratulations on the special.
Oh, thanks, dude.
Thanks, man.
Absolutely fantastic.
You're bringing the pod back, you said?
Yeah, bringing it back.
There you go.
Took a little hiatus when I had the writing job.
Time was kind of limited, but yeah, going to bring it back.
Nice.
Yeah.
Give us the scoop.
What's the backstory?
Give us the origin story here.
The Fahim Anwar origin story?
Yeah.
Okay, let's see.
Grew up in Seattle.
Okay.
People think East Coast.
People think I'm from New York, but I've never-
You do have a little bit of New York-y vibe.
What is that, though?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Something, though.
A little bit of a tooth.
The hair made an edge.
Whoa.
This is blow-dried, though, so that's not-
I got to fake it.
Get the hell out of here.
Yeah.
I saw him in the bathroom earlier.
Yeah, I don't wake up like that.
I wish I did.
I wish I did.
Trust me.
You don't want to wake up like this.
It's bad.
Believe me, my friend.
It's bad.
You're doing all right.
Yeah, so, yeah.
Grew up in Seattle, and then-
Jail's beautiful.
We were just there.
Fantastic.
In the city proper?
No, the burbs.
The burbs.
The burbs.
So, first, Linwood, and then Mukilteo, and then Woodinville.
My parents are in Woodinville, so that's where I went to high school.
What did the folks do?
Dad, engineer at Boeing.
At Boeing.
I knew he was going to be a sharp kid.
I knew this was coming in good lineage.
Your dad was an engineer at Boeing.
Engineer at Boeing.
What do you work on?
Commercial?
Commercial.
Really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
737 and 777.
He might have done 472.
Nice.
So, just like forever.
That's the coal mine.
Like, before tech came in, it was all about Everett and Boeing and planes.
Like, everyone worked at Boeing.
Yeah, sure.
They still do.
It's huge.
But, like, now there's Amazon.
Now there's, you know.
Get out.
He's working on aircraft.
He's working on aircraft.
Come on.
What are we doing here?
He's in the cubicle.
I was saying, like, he's getting his hands dirty.
Yeah, he's getting his hands dirty.
He's getting his hands dirty on calculators and two monitors.
Flying?
What's going on here?
So, where did he go to school?
He went to two.
He went to North Dakota State, and then he also went to Minnesota.
Okay.
Yeah.
Not bad.
Engineer, what'd your mom do?
Nursing at first, and then she did that for a long time, and then she pivoted
into, like,
hair.
So, she does hair now.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
She work at a salon, or she do it in-house?
At a salon.
Okay.
So, it has a station at a salon.
Okay.
Yeah.
How long has she had that?
Maybe, like, 10 years now, or, like, 8, 10 years.
Was she ever cutting hair in a house before?
Oh, all the time.
Even before she was doing that, like, trying to pivot, she would cut my brother's
hair
and my hair and my dad's hair just to save money.
Where at in the house was that happening?
We'd do the bathroom.
I'd always have to get the chair from my brother's room.
Pulling a chair into the bathroom is a tough look.
I've done it.
Yeah.
I'd take back everything I say.
Uh-huh.
That's awesome.
And then, like, when she was new to it, she would, like, it was a haircut that
would
take two hours, you know?
Oh, that's never good.
Wait, so, hold on.
Too fast or too slow is bad for her.
Yeah.
So, go back.
You need the meaty part of the curve.
She was in nursing.
Never did any hair stuff before at all.
No, no, no.
But this is just an immigrant thing.
Like, I'm not going to pay a professional to cut hair.
Sure.
I have scissors.
You have hair.
Like, figure it out.
So, she didn't start cutting your guys' hair as kids because someday she wanted
to be
in the business.
She was just doing it out of necessity.
Kind of.
Just to save money.
And then, at some point, she's like, you know what?
I like this.
I want to do this professionally.
You know, I never thought about it that way, that maybe we were just a gateway
to her dream.
Yeah.
Finally clicked in.
Yeah.
I just thought that it was a financial thing.
Like, we don't want to pay money for you to go to someone.
Let me just cut your hair.
How bad were the haircuts from Jump Street?
They weren't terrible, you know?
But she would always take pride in it.
Like, every time I'd come home from school, she would be like, did people-
What did they say?
What's the buzz?
What's the buzz on the schoolyard?
She would think that I'm trending.
Like, all the girls.
Hashtag new haircut.
Yeah.
Have you seen Fahim's new haircut?
It's fucking awesome.
You have a full fur.
Who cut it?
His mom?
His mom cuts it?
Got highlights.
It's too good.
Okay.
That's pretty good.
Do your parents still live in the same house that you grew up in?
No.
This is like third or fourth.
Okay.
What was the name of that street that you grew up on?
Like, the bulk of my childhood, I would say Serene Way.
Whoa.
That one got the peanut gallery.
Serene Way sounds very nice.
How much was your mom charging her for those haircuts?
It must be high end.
Holy cow.
Okay.
That's pretty good.
Was that a single house, apartment, condo, townhouse?
What are we talking?
It was a house.
Okay.
Multiple rooms.
I had a room.
My brother had a room.
My parents had a room.
How far apart are you and your brother?
Three and a half years.
Okay.
Yeah.
Older or younger?
Older.
You're younger?
Younger, yeah.
All right.
That's good.
Not bad.
Was there a garage at that house?
There was two garages.
What did you just say?
What, like a two-door garage?
More for the plane.
Is that insane?
A two-weight.
There was one garage or two garages.
Like when you look at the garage.
It was a two-car garage.
Two-car garage.
But one garage.
Okay.
I got you.
Yeah.
What were you parking in there?
What was the old man whipping around in?
Oh, what did he have?
Okay.
There was always a van.
Okay.
There was always a Dodge Caravan.
Shout out to it.
That is, I guess that's like an affordable, reliable, it's like a staple.
Did they move here?
Or were they born, your parents born here?
No, Afghanistan.
Your parents are both from Afghanistan.
They drove the Dodge Caravan.
That was a literal caravan?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Still got a couple of miles left on it.
What are you talking about?
Yeah.
Okay.
So that and then maybe like a Toyota Corolla.
All right.
That was kind of a staple.
A van and a Toyota Corolla.
They're two very, I think that is a very immigrant mentality.
You said of like cutting the hair.
It's like they're very practical, affordable, reliable things.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Two-car garage, though.
Did you, could you fit two cars in it or was it filled with shit?
No, you could fit two.
Yeah.
Was there a refrigerator in that garage?
There was.
What was in there?
Like frozen meats.
It's sort of like my mom's just storing stuff for.
Gotcha.
You know what I mean?
Like long-term.
Sure.
Surplus.
You're not going in and out a bunch, but there's like sauces in there maybe
that they're frozen.
Sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Any sodas?
Anything like that?
Yeah, there'd be like a case of Coke.
Okay.
You know, so if you want, you would like go to the garage and like bring a few
into the house.
That counts as a garage fridge.
I got you.
I got you.
Because I grew up with my Korean buddy.
They had a fridge in the garage, but it was mostly Korean food.
But then they also had like, you know, the Americanized ice pops and sodas and
shit like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was mostly my mom's fridge.
Like we didn't really have shit in there.
