Name: The Trashiest Steak Dinner - Are You Garbage LIVE: Stand Up comedy (2022)
Uploaded: 2023-01-14T22:06:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Trashiest Steak Dinner - Are You Garbage LIVE: Stand Up comedy (2022)' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Trashiest Steak Dinner - Are You Garbage LIVE: Stand Up comedy (2022)' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-14. Transcript available.

All right, oh, Sam, Samantha, if I recall.
Your question is, what do you do for a living, by the way?
Okay.
What did you do?
What's that?
You say marketing?
Okay.
Pat, you hiring?
Seems like a nice person.
Do you know digital marketing by any chance?
Sam, where'd you go to school?
I went to Boston.
Boston University?
No, Tufts.
Oh, Tufts did a school.
You know he's lying because his voice went real high.
All right, all right.
Your question is a little wonky.
Have you ever brought groceries to a comedy show to save yourself a trip?
You brought your groceries with you tonight?
Okay.
How is everybody at Thriftway tonight?
What grocery store?
We don't have a Trader Joe's in our neighborhood.
I get that.
That snack's actually pretty classy.
You come by a Trader Joe's, you stop the fuck in.
I don't know who the fuck runs that snack department, but God damn.
They are unbelievable.
They put shit together you wouldn't even think of.
It's crazy.
He's going to be talking about food for the next nine minutes.
I forgot everybody was here for a second.
How big of an order was it?
Thank you.
And can Foley have half of it?
Just to shut him up.
How much did you spend at Trader Joe's?
$20, $30.
$20, $30.
Okay.
What?
Do you have any produce?
Do you have like a head of lettuce on you right now is what I'm trying to get
at?
Sam, what did you buy?
You brought cans of tuna to a comedy show and you had the balls to ask me if
that's trashy?
That's what homeless people would do.
And you could get that shit at any other grocery store.
You're rolling around with cat food on you.
It's not like you got one of their vegan dips or like anything like that.
Like one of their frozen pizzas or empanadas.
You check them out.
They're fantastic.
You got cans of tuna?
You sounded like you were underwater for a second.
Jesus.
Also, the worst part is she had to check it at the front door.
Clap it up for Samantha.
Yes, Sam.
I do like a nice tuna sandwich, I'll tell you that.
This one's just funny.
It's from Rachel D.
Have you ever been a customer at a store within a store?
For example, a hair salon at ShopRite?
Dude, if you're getting a cut at ShopRite, you're buying tuna for sure.
Holy shit.
A bank, baby.
Starbucks, even still.
Okay.
All right.
My head hurts.
This one came in from a gentleman who goes by Ed from Delco.
Where are you at, Eddie?
Oh, there he is.
What's up, brother?
Who are you here with?
My buddy from college and my two favorite bartenders.
Okay.
That's a wild statement right there.
For sure didn't graduate college, one thing I learned.
You roll around.
You introduce people.
These are my two favorite bartenders.
What's the name of the establishment you tend bar at, guys?
Pinocchio's.
Pinocchio's.
They said, yo, let me ask you a question.
How are the cheesesteak egg rolls at Pinocchio's?
I bet they're fucking fantastic.
$2 you call.
It's all night long, dude.
My buddy from college and two favorite bartenders.
Wow.
Don't make them choose, man.
All right.
Ed, what do you do for a living, pal?
I'm a former teacher and I'm a wastewater operator.
Man, you really churched that up.
What the fuck does a wastewater operator do?
I handle sewage.
Okay, yeah.
There's no operating at all.
All of that job.
Wow, that's fucking beautiful.
Oh, man.
How many times a week are you hanging on a Pinocchio's out of curiosity?
That's enough, yeah.
Yeah.
You told me everything I need to know, Eddie.
All right.
Dude, my head hurts.
Are you...
Okay.
This is Ed's question.
From Delco.
Delco, right.
Got it.
Is it garbage if your parents delay taking you to the ER with a blatantly
broken bone because
they have dinner reservations?
What was Pinocchio serving that night?
It's clam chowder or something.
You can only get the lamb and chicken on Thursdays.
Hold off, you little pussy.
Did they take you to dinner with you, Ed?
I still can't band my fingers.
That's why they fired me from the teaching job.
Also, he's so trashy in his question, in parentheses, he goes, my finger was
facing east.
A real medical term, I believe.
It's like a crow on the top of a barn.
He's like, look, it's facing east.
Now it's facing west.
Do you remember where they went to that night?
Out back stage.
I mean, Ed, come on.
Be fucking reasonable.
Did they take you with them?
Oh, yeah.
I was cutting a porterhouse with my finger.
There was multiple people sharing that porterhouse, I bet.
Shout out to Ed and the boys.
Give them a round of applause.
And if you're in a neighborhood, stop by Pinocchio's.
Pinocchio's sounds all right.
Tell him Ed sent you.
We got time for one more, then we got to get out of here.
Phil, you've been fucking awesome.
Give yourself a round of applause.
Love you.
All right.
This one is from Trevor A.
Is it garbage to take the pepperoni off a frozen pizza
and save them in a Ziploc bag to serve as a charcuterie board for guests?
Phil, you've been fucking awesome, baby.
We love you.
We're telling you the best.
We can't wait to meet you outside.
Thank you so much.
Good night.
Thank you.