Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Drunk Football Fan w/ Gareth Reynolds
Uploaded: 2023-02-08T23:44:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Drunk Football Fan w/ Gareth Reynolds' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Drunk Football Fan w/ Gareth Reynolds' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-08. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Drunk Football Fan w/ Gareth Reynolds

Shoobie doobie doobie gang, let's go. The Stay Trashy Tour is in full swing. We're
coming to a town near you.
We got the first leg announced. We're coming other places. First leg coming up,
grab the squad and come to the show.
Yeah, guys, starting in March, we're going to be in Baltimore, Virginia Beach,
Richmond, Virginia, Oklahoma City, Dallas, Texas, Houston, Texas, Austin, Texas.
Then in April, New Haven, Connecticut, Burlington, Vermont. In May, we're
hitting Tampa, Dania Beach, Florida, Raleigh, North Carolina.
And in June, we're hitting Cleveland and Columbus. We're going to be announcing
a bunch more cities, but tickets are already moving now.
Get them. Let's party. Yeah.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Oh, yeah.
It's our little show.
We sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find it out there to be classy
or just a big old piece of trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're down here at Aunt Tootie's basement.
She's upstairs flying the colors.
Okay.
They got a pseudo-Brit in the crowd.
Oh, yeah.
She thinks our redcoats are coming.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He is an international businessman, and I tell you what, my best pal in the
whole wide world,
give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
Hey, what's up, gang?
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Oh, yeah.
Full video available on YouTube, as you know those numbers are.
True to Roof.
Cookin' and obviously the greatest gosh darn website of all time, www.patreon.com
slash RU Garbage.
Check it out.
You get a bunch of bonus episodes of AYG, Hard Feelings, a whole other show.
We got all kinds of good stuff over there.
Check it out, gang.
Yeah, we do love that money.
How about a nice quick shout-out to our producer extraordinaire, the magic man.
Makes us all look good.
Works the ones, works the twos, crosses the T's and dots the I's.
Give it up for T-Bone McScruffins.
It's Toby McMullen, everybody.
Come on.
Hey, T-Bone.
What up, dudes?
What's up?
What's up, pal?
Oh, this is great.
This guy's in a Yeti cooler hat.
He looks like he knows his way around a pontoon boat.
I'll tell you that.
I came to play.
Good vibes when the kid rolled in.
I'll tell you that.
We clicked right away.
I like it.
Gang, the long hair ain't lying.
We couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly
special guest here with
us today for the first time.
He is a very funny stand-up comedian, writer, actor, and podcaster, and you may
have seen
him in, but not limited to.
We got a very Harold and Kumar Christmas.
We got Money from Strangers.
Oh, yeah.
We got Sullivan and Sons.
We got Marin.
We got the Goldbergs.
We got New Girl.
We got Hoops, which he also wrote two episodes.
We got Arrested Development, also wrote two episodes of that.
We got Gotham Comedy Live.
He is the co-author of the amazing book, The United States of Absurdity.
He's on tour right now, and of course, he is the co-host of The Dollop, and
Here's the
Turkey has a brand new special out right now with all things comedy entitled
England, Weed,
and the rest, but the big question about his mind today, is he garbage?
He came in here with a rucksack like he was on his way to a hostel.
I think he's summiting at the moment.
Give it up for Gareth Reynolds, everybody.
Let's go.
Hey, all right.
The kid's here.
Look out.
Gee, I knew I walked in weird.
I was like, they're being very gracious, but you're just waiting.
You just were patiently jotting notes.
He had a pickaxe on you.
I don't want to say any.
Biggest goddamn backpack I ever saw in my life.
Well, it's full of hands.
If that helps, it's just human hands.
It's nothing weird.
Hey, where can I put my ears?
Psycho.
You guys want to buy hands?
Man, thanks for coming, buddy.
Yeah, buddy.
Thank you.
Thanks for having me, truly.
This is great.
Yeah.
Give us the scoop now.
I know there's some British heritage in you.
Yeah.
Got some royalty in you.
I'd like some more.
I'm not going to hold it against you.
I'd like some, please.
Although I'm dumping out the tea in the bathtub when I get home.
No.
Not again.
Fuck.
Oh, no.
I'm not going to swear.
YouTube.
No, you can swear.
It's fine.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
It's like the feds.
They've got to stop lifting after the first 30 seconds.
Yeah, I know.
If we don't curse in the first 30 seconds, they've got to dump the call.
Give us the scoop.
All right.
So, yeah, English parents moved to America.
Born in Britain?
I was born in Wisconsin.
Nice.
So, I was raised in Wisconsin by English people.
And it was pretty weird.
Now, if the war broke out, you'd have to kill them first.
You know that, right?
I'm ready to kill my dad.
I'm waiting for the go ahead.
I'm ready since I was seven to take him out.
Yeah, I'm trying to start the war.
I want it going.
Let's go.
I want to kill him.
You're spreading propaganda as a kid.
Yeah, they're listening.
And then, yeah, it was really weird.
And I, like, had a little British accent growing up.
And then slowly, in Brown Deer, Wisconsin, I became a more Wisconsin-y child.
Sure.
My mother felt the shoes.
Because that's, like, America, America.
Like, that's, like, middle America, Wisconsin.
I had a mullet and Z's shaved in the side of my head.
Yeah, you did.
So, I went hard.
Sure.
In the pain.
I respect it.
Yeah.
And she was, like, oh, God, what's happening?
That's like a sitcom.
Two parents from fucking England moved to Wisconsin.
Yeah.
Yeah, it really was.
And raised a little chap.
Yeah, and they were losing me.
Because I'd be coming home and be, like, what time's the Packers on?
And they'd be, like, what are you talking about?
What are you talking about?
Relax.
Go get some brats.
Come on, get brats.
Any brothers or sisters?
An older brother.
Okay.
And then half.
Was he born in Britain?
He was.
All right.
He was full-on.
Yeah, we're getting there.
He was full-on British.
And when my parents moved to Wisconsin, you know they wear the little schoolboy
uniforms?
Sure.
So my mother, they moved to Ohio first.
Uh-huh.
And my mother sent him to a Cleveland public school in his school uniform.
Oh, man.
And, yeah, he was, like, I can't go back to school.
And she was, like, why?
What did they do?
And he's, like, I need clothes.
I need new clothes.
He got me dressed like a beetle.
What do you think?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And make it through homeroom.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
And so he kind of, like, you know, he kind of, like, greased the wheels a
little bit for me.
Made it a little easier.
Sure.
Because they were, they knew that, like.
You had to Americanize you.
Yes.
And I was ready to go.
Yeah.
I was really ready to be absorbed by Wisconsin.
How much older than you is he?
He's 12 years older.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
They took a break.
That's trashy right there.
Any double digits between siblings is tough.
That's wild.
Well, and let me say that, like, I think a lot of times people think English
people are classy.
There are lots of pockets of big trash in England.
Sure.
Well, that's your parents trying to assimilate to America.
They come over here, distinguish Brits.
They get to America.
Your dad knocks up your mom.
Yep.
12 years later.
Yep.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They took a nice breather.
And what did they do?
So my dad moved to Wisconsin or to Ohio because he got a job working for Brio
Toys, which were
like wooden trains, like Scandinavian wooden trains.
It's all very exciting.
And then my mother sold toys, too.
So I grew up with like two toy parents.
All right.
Human parents, not toy.
Just fucking two marionettes.
Yeah.
And so, and that was what they did.
And so I was like, you know, like raised by this weird little situation.
It was super.
The older I get, the more I go.
That was really weird.
How did they do?
How was the business doing when your dad was working?
My dad did well.
This is what?
The 90s we're talking?
He, well, they moved here, I guess, in the 80s.
Okay.
Or no, they would have moved here in the 70s.
Sorry.
And then, yeah, he started to do well.
Like Brio became like legit for a while.
And, you know, like they were, it was like middle class, but they like, they
did well.
My mother did well.
You know, they didn't have to work their asses off.
Nice.
They did well.
Yeah.
Fine little house basement that flooded constantly.
There you go.
Yeah.
There you go.
Get a sump pump in there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Bingo.
What was the house like?
Family home.
Single family home.
Garage.
Garage.
The whole nine yards.
Burned down once completely.
The garage?
The house.
Really?
Yeah.
So my mother.
It's about wooden trains laying around.
Yeah.
It's like goddamn ember.
Again, we think it was.
Get rid of some of the sawdust, lady.
We blame the Yanks.
We really felt like.
You think it was the neighbors?
We're pretty sure it was the Yanks.
But basically my mother.
Go back to Britain sign.
Burns on the front lawn.
Gave it away.
It was very school ties.
It was very aggressive.
You are.
But they, basically my mother hated turning the heat on because she was raised
super poor.
And so she would light fires in the fireplace.
Sure.
Not just like.
My mom's the same way.
So she did that and then one day she was going out on a walk, which she did
every day, and
she like cleaned the ash out and put it in the garbage can and it turned out
there were
still some embers in it.
So while she was gone, the garbage can caught on fire, caught the car on fire.
The car blew up.
What?
And then someone driving by was like, I think I could call.
Sounds like the Irishman.
I don't know what you're talking about.
We started dumping taxis in the water.
I mean, the Brits have a lot of enemies, so we're thankful.
Yeah.
Jesus.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, it was a real good fallacy.
It was a week after we were throwing rocks at the Catholic Church.
Yeah.
And the Rolling Stones played right after, which we thought was a red flag.
It's like Tycho put a hit on your dad.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just remember my dad fell to his knees and screamed Mattel.
What's going on?
Marker, brother!
Hot wheels!
Sons of bitches.
These goddamn metal cars are killing us.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And all the wood trains.
I mean, they just went up.
Oh, yeah, of course.
I mean, that was just Tinder.
That's a liability.
Yeah.
Did you get first dibs on all those toys when you were a kid, I assume?
Yes.
Brought them home.
The best one was, remember Koosh Balls?
Yeah.
You had a Koosh Connect?
Wait, they were behind Koosh Balls?
Well, my mother was a sales rep for Koosh Balls.
My mother's like a rep, so she just had a bunch of stuff.
But I remember she came home and she was like, they call this the Koosh Balls.
And I was like, oh, this is-
That was a big hit.
It was huge.
Wow.
And I was like, I like-
And she was like, what do you love about it?
I was like, I just am really-
Yeah, you're doing R&B.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I was like, on Molly, I was like, I'm digging this thing.
And, but that was the big one.
That was the one I took to school.
Man, that's huge.
That's sweet.
You know, and remember you could like get, you could wrap some of the circular
rubber bands
around your house.
Sure, of course.
I was discovering all the little pockets of fun.
Yeah.
That's your dream.
That's your dream childhood.
That would be my dream job.
It was pretty good.
To be like a buyer or a rep for a toy company would be all right.
It was pretty good.
Yeah.
It was good.
Damn.
Yeah.
And then it was compensated by the fact that they had a horrible marriage.
So I got the toys to distract me from the fact that they were like in the yard
arguing
all the time, fist fighting each other.
Did they stay together?
No.
They didn't stay together.
No, they didn't make it.
At what age did they split ways?
I'm also a product of a