Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: What Murders?! w/ Kippy & Foley
Uploaded: 2023-06-04T23:00:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: What Murders?! w/ Kippy & Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: What Murders?! w/ Kippy & Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-04. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: What Murders?! w/ Kippy & Foley

Gang, we got a low ticket alert in Cleveland and Columbus, so if you want to
catch the show, you better make a move, baby.
Yeah, gang, there's a handful of tickets left at each show, and then obviously
the second show added at the Vogel Theater in Red Bank, New Jersey, August 11th.
That's more than halfway sold out. Get those tickets. Let's sell it out, gang.
We'll see you out there.
Peace.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Hey.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out
they grew up to be classy.
Uh-huh.
Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
Garbage.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here
at Tootie's in a new edition.
She's down at the super cuts, getting a little trim done.
Pubes?
Nah.
Take a little off the top, will you, sis?
Getting a little cleanup done, getting the beard trimmed. You know how she does
it.
Play off beard.
She likes to keep it tight. Getting the stash done.
Sure. Get lined up.
You ever in the kitchen when she's bleaching that thing? Jesus Christ.
Got the neighborhood kids working for her.
Fucking like the Lorax in there making eggs.
My co-host is coming at you from across the table. This is a family episode.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He's got a hot cup of coffee.
Mm-hmm.
He got nothing. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
Thanks, big man. I appreciate it. Shout out to everybody listening. We
appreciate it.
If you haven't already, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Even though that don't mean nothing no more, you head over to where it matters,
baby.
The fucking where the moneymaker, the YouTubes.com slash RU garbage.
As you know, those numbers are...
Cooking! Closing in on 150,000 subs over there.
Love you.
That's fucking crazy, right?
Thank you.
And I'm not talking 150,000 submarine sandwiches either, big guy. I'm talking
subscribers.
I always resent it to submarine sandwich.
Sure. I'm sure you have opinions on it.
Sure.
Also, obviously, patreon.com slash RU garbage. Check it out. You get bonus. If
you're on
a $10 level, you get two bonus episodes every fucking week. You get a catalog
of two and
a half years of fucking episodes every week. You got videos. You got bonus
videos. The
whole nine yards. Vlogs. Check it out, gang.
You like feet stuff? Check it out. How about a nice... Oops, I went to the
wrong camera.
How about a nice question?
How you doing?
All right. Welcome back to the show.
The monitor's throwing me off. All right. You're getting all new equipment. You're
freaking me out. How about a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire,
the magic
man. Makes us all look good. Works the ones, the twos, crosses the t's, dots
the i's. He's
got a couple of tickets to a hot rock show later tonight. He's going to be out
in the parking
lot huffing balloons. Give it up for T-Bone McScruffins. Toby McMullen,
everybody.
What up, dudes? He's a good kid. He don't do that.
What play was it to do with the helium voice?
Hey, guys.
Sure, sure. I'm just too excited, man. I'm going to see my favorite band
tonight. I can't
wait.
Man, fire it up. I'm going to be in the pit. Out there listening to Eliza Minnelli.
Trying to crowd surf.
Dog, I was at dinner and my mom goes to my dad. She's like, the Beach Boys are
back. And
I was like, they're alive still?
The Beach Boys are back.
We were just listening to the Beach Boys are today, me and new guy Luke. He has
a good
ear for it. Yeah, but those guys are 90 years old. They're going to wheel them
out.
They're going to play two songs. They're all going to die.
They still got it. And you know who they got rolling with them?
Stamos.
Stamos.
No shock.
Yeah, he's the drummer, right?
What do you mean? Stamos is basically a Beach Boy.
Yeah, for sure.
You know when it all started off? Kokomo.
And let me tell you something.
There wasn't a fat chick within a mile of the Mississippi that wasn't dying for
that song
when it came out.
Oh, yeah.
Every mom and who knows what.
The Beach Boys went on Full House.
Beach Boys went on Full House.
Then they dropped that gem, put Stamos in the video.
They sold millions of copies of that record.
What's he do for this? Singer or drummer?
I think I might have just made that up.
I think you're buying that off me.
I think he does play the drums.
Stamos plays the drums, drums, and various percussion instruments.
Yeah, there you go.
Like it's Stamos on the bongos?
Various percussion instruments.
Him and a holist group.
Shout out to Stamos.
Who Yanni pees, boys with?
Man.
We're one step away from Stamos.
Man, talk about a dream guest.
Kid is a looker.
I fucking don't need blue chew for that episode.
I'd be under here fucking.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bonertown.
Man, really carries himself well, too.
He was just on Yanni's pod or something like that.
They hang.
They chill.
It's like him, Yanni, and some whoever.
Who's Stamos' wife?
He's like, I don't know.
Yeah, I know you don't know.
Fucking look it up.
This guy gets the lights on him.
He freezes like a goddamn deer.
This is Christ.
Caitlin McHugh.
Probably a real heifer.
Probably a goddamn type.
He was married to Rebecca Romaine Stamos.
None of that was right.
Rebecca Romaine Stamos for a long time.
I was always a kale salad kind of guy.
Love Rebecca Romaine.
Oh, yeah.
She was.
They were it.
They were like the.
Mystique.
Right?
In the X-Men movies.
Sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
A little bit of underboob on that.
That's neither here nor there.
I also.
I just invited you to a concert.
I got snubbed.
And he said it with disgust.
I don't want to go to a fucking Billy Joel concert.
Is it outdoor or indoor?
Outdoor.
Where would he be playing outdoor?
The Joel man?
I don't know.
The Yankee Stadium?
No.
It's at MSG.
Now I don't want you to go.
I'm not begging you to go.
I was trying to do the nice friendly thing.
I had an extra ticket to the fucking.
You don't want to take me.
I just asked you.
Yeah.
But that's an obligation.
What?
I had two extra tickets.
Who else is going?
Both are for you.
You get seats two and three, chubs.
Do you have two extra tickets?
No.
I have one.
Can I bring somebody?
Hey, listen.
Can you not go and I'll bring my friends?
Muscle you out.
Yeah.
Get out of here, you.
Fucking disgraciad.
Like, I'm not even his best pal.
I don't want to go.
Well, I wasn't extended the invite.
I'd go.
Psych.
I'm not a nerd.
Fuck that shit.
Yeah, it's not Black Flag or whatever you listen to.
Yeah, hell yeah.
There ain't no pit at the Billy Joel concert.
Hey, those old bags get after it.
If you need a root canal, they'll straighten you out over there.
But I know I'm sure it's Adonis over there.
If you don't think that guy rocks the house, you're insane.
You're nuts.
Oh, I bet he's a consummate showman.
Oh, kills it.
Kills it.
Kills it.
I mean, one of the best concerts I've ever been to is the Joel man.
Listen, I am talking shit, but talk about a hit factory, that guy.
We listened to him.
We were in the car together.
We listened to him all the time on the road.
We're all singing along the scenes from an Italian restaurant.
Yeah, we are.
Cold beer.
Hot lights.
That's what I wanted to name my album.
That's enough.
I'm not getting sued by Billy Joel.
I know him.
I'll be right on the floor.
First section up on the floor.
You kind of could play a young, old Billy Joel.
Okay.
It's not necessarily a compliment.
Is there a project in mind?
Are you doing a sitcom?
What do you want to do?
A web series?
For that reason, I'm out.
Only the good die young starring Kevin Ryan.
Is he young or old?
No one knows how old I am.
He looked old when he was young.
He looks better now.
I think he hit his stride.
I mean, I'm disgusting.
I mean, not now.
Let's be honest.
He hit it as he was older in like the 80s and 90s.
Yeah, he looks great.
What do you mean?
He looks fantastic.
Yeah.
Who are we talking shit?
Billy Joel and Stamos cut all this.
We're going to get whacked out next time we're at the Illuminati party.
You go to those a lot?
You got a plus one?
Take me.
What are we doing here?
Let's see how the concert goes first.
I'm excited.
This will be my first time ever at Madison Square Garden.
You never saw a Nick game or nothing like that?
Why the fuck would I see a Nick game?
Fair enough.
I'm 76 years.
I've only been there once, though.
What do you mean?
You've lived here for 38 years.
I've only been there once.
Probably to cop dope or something.
I've tried to sneak into fucking...
Sell an Iggy Pop some gear.
Yeah.
Fucking Dr. Feelgood.
You walk in.
Sell an Iggy Pop some gear.
Dude, gear is such a good name.
Oh, man.
It's so good.
Gear's all right.
It makes it sound cool.
When it's not, kids, don't be doing gear.
Oh, man.
Lay off the gear.
Meet me by the loading docks.
Straighten me out.
Yeah.
Some scat.
He comes out.
You're going, I'm in a band.
I don't know.
You need an opener or what?
I got a question for you, fellas.
I'm listening.
Go ahead, T-Bone.
What is it about an old guy post-60 where the gravitational pull of a recliner
is irresistible?
I brought Dr. D and my mom's, check out the addition here, and within, I'd say,
about 35 seconds, my dad was sitting into his chair.
Old guy's like a nice chair.
Put your feet up, man.
You guys have been working hard his whole life.
Dirtbag kid like you chasing you around, bailing you out of jail, putting you
through private school and all that shit.
Uh-huh.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, that was a lot.
You're weird.
I'm sure he loves you.
I just dismantled my whole life in 30 seconds.
Ah, but whatever.
Because your dad likes to put his feet up.
Yeah.
I don't know what it is.
There's something about it.
Something about it.
Really is.
I love it, too.
And we still have the robotic one that my dad had.
And then when I sit in that thing.
Robotic makes it sound cool.
It's not from Sharper Image.
It's a prescription recliner, dude.
Like, it's a transformer.
We got the robot.
So I'm over there sitting on a robot's face.
It's a lazy boy, but it, like.
So are you.
It lifts you up, and everything's automatic.
You don't got to pull the eject button.
You just, you have a little thing.
He used to get that in the remote confused all the time.
Jesus Christ.
He's trying to turn the volume up.
He's upside down.
Folds in on himself.
Pulling him off the ceiling with that thing.
Where is that thing?
You know what?
We've got a lot of tweets or whatever, and so I can't attribute it to somebody.
But I don't know if we've ever talked about it.
Couches.
Couches with recliners in them.
Okay.
Like the N2.
I remember when we got, my dad got them first.
From Raymore and Flanagan.
Mm-hmm.
Green, like dark green couches, pops out.
Cloth or leather?
Cloth.
Yeah, I know.
Leather.
What are we, Italian?
Yeah.
That's what Patty has now.
Well, leather's different now.
Back in the day to get leather, you had to be a Guido.
Sure.
That's a real guinea shit.
I had to have a white Christmas tree.
But the cup holders in, how do you feel about the cup holder in the Lazy Boy or
the couch?
So.
To me, I've lived in an apartment with him in New York, and it's banned.
Oh, I know what you're talking about.
I know the exact.
They have the cup holder in them.
I know the exact chair you're talking about.
There's always a lighter, some shake in there.
Bunch of ants.
Yeah, chewed up gum.
Nah, that setup was all right.
That recliner?
That specific recliner was all right.
That recliner came from the trash.
All the furniture in that apartment came from the side of New York Street.
No kidding?
Yeah.
I wish I would have known that.
Sorry about the bed bugs.
But that was all right, because it was a double cup holder, so you had a little
room.
And what I remember, it was pretty clean.
You put your drink there.
You