Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Roy Wood Jr.!
Uploaded: 2023-06-11T23:00:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Roy Wood Jr.!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Roy Wood Jr.!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-11. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Roy Wood Jr.!

Gang, we got a low ticket alert in Cleveland and Columbus, so if you want to
catch the show, you better make a move, baby.
Yeah, gang, there's a handful of tickets left at each show, and then obviously
the second show added at the Vogel Theater in Red Bank, New Jersey, August 11th.
That's more than halfway sold out. Get those tickets. Let's sell it out, gang.
We'll see you out there.
Peace.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find out
if they're going to be classy or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Tootie's in the new edition.
She's up on the roof with a new set of binoculars.
Okay.
Trying to get a look at that new widower that moved into the house next door,
taking a little peek at him.
Great.
Okay, my co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He's an international businessman, and he's my best pal in the whole wide world,
and I love him.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
What's swinging a miss on the Tootie joke?
What's up, everybody?
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, you subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
As you know, those numbers are cooking.
Cooking.
And obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com, gang.
Check it out.
It's a party over there.
Yes, it is.
And having a nice quick shout-out to our producer extraordinaire, the magic man.
Makes us all look good.
Works the ones, the twos, the threes, and the fours.
Give it up for T-Bone McScruffins.
It's Toby McMullen, everybody.
Hey, buddy.
What up, dudes?
What up, T-Bone?
Beautiful day out here.
Beautiful day out here.
We got a legend in the edition, man.
He ain't lying, man.
A pro, baby.
Woo-wee.
Gang, the long hair ain't lying.
We couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly
special guest here with
us today for the first time.
He is a very funny, very successful stand-up comedian, actor, and television
personality.
And you may have seen him in, but not limited to.
Here we go.
We got Sullivan and Son.
We got The Detour.
Better Call Saul.
The Last OG.
Space Force.
The Opening Act.
Only Murders in the Building.
Hell of a Week with Charlamagne Tha God.
The 2022 Sleeper hit Confess Fletch with Jon Hamm.
We got American Dad.
Star Search.
Premium Blend.
The Late Show with David Letterman.
Death Comedy Jam.
Last Comic Standing.
Guy's a worker.
Conan.
Last Call this week at the Comedy Cellar.
This Is Not Happening.
The Tonight Show.
The View.
Wendy Williams.
Colbert.
Seth Meyers.
Kelly Clarkson.
Colbert.
WTF.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
He has multiple stand-up specials, including 2017's Father Figure.
2019's No One Loves You.
2021's Imperfect Messenger.
And he just hosted the 2023 Correspondence Dinner.
He is on tour right now.
And for the last several years, he has been your favorite correspondent on The
Daily Show.
But the big question on everybody's mind today, is he garbage?
I'll tell you this.
The guy wears a suit like nobody's business.
Give it up for Roy Wood Jr., everybody.
Let's go.
What is the budget for Red Bull and cocaine on this program?
It's true to roof.
I'll tell you that much.
You motherfuckers didn't take a breath.
I'm amazed.
No stumbles, no fumbles, just straight professionalism into that microphone.
This show's brought to you by the Cineola Cartel.
Shout out to the boys down there.
Happy to be here, motherfuckers.
Thank you for having me, though.
I am.
Oh, man.
We've been looking forward to this, man.
This is good.
This is good.
Happy to have you.
You know it's going to be a good podcast when there's a beer cooler as
decoration.
That works.
You want a pop, I'll get you a pop.
Before we get into your backstory, I just had a question for you.
You just hosted the Correspondent Dinner.
Yeah.
What was the grub like?
What was the food like?
It was okay, but you got to remember, I have to perform.
Sure.
You know what sucks about the Correspondent's Dinner?
It's that it's the only comedy show where you're just sitting on display for
the audience.
That sucks.
For two hours.
There's 30 minutes, and then there's like an hour of food, and then there's the
actual proper
program that people see on television.
What you see on TV, we're already 90 minutes into the shit.
You should be in a green room.
You should be somewhere.
No.
Sit up there on display like the fucking medieval days, you fucking joke boy.
Yeah.
Sit there and make small talk with the Madam First Lady.
Y'all ain't got shit in common.
Oh, you Zuber Eats?
What's going on?
Trying to find common ground.
Yeah.
It's literally-
You guys watching Beef, huh?
What's the deal?
Imagine small talk with a person whose life you couldn't imagine.
Yeah.
And I'm sure she had the same thought on her side.
What the fuck am I going to talk to this black dude from Alabama about for two
fucking hours?
You don't take a helicopter to the grocery store?
Yeah.
No, but so that part of it is weird.
Right.
It's just people looking at you and going, look.
Like you're a fighter pilot.
No, you're going to get them.
Yeah.
Literally, that's really what it is.
It's like you're taxiing out for war.
Like Tom Cruise where he gives the go sign to the dude on the carrier deck.
With a prime rib and a crab cake in front of you.
Before the catapult launches you off to the podium.
And they're waving like, poor bastard ain't coming back.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
So it's a psychotic thing, but I would do it again.
Yeah?
Really?
I would do it again.
It's juggling dynamite.
Sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like when you really think as a stand-up comedian, how many performances as a
stand-up still
truly matter or still get some level of eyeballs on a regular basis?
And that's one of them.
Sure.
On the level of like, say, what a Tonight Show credit was.
Sure, 100%.
Pre-Leno.
I'm talking Carson.
Sure.
You'd rip on Leno.
Even Leno and Letterman, you'd rip in the 90s and a motherfucker would be off
to the
side of the stage and go, here's your career.
Congratulations.
Where this still has that level of gravity.
Yeah.
That's why I give, you got to give props to Chris Rock for doing a live, live
special.
Yeah, sure.
I went back and dug in the crates and was just looking at some of the people
who did it before
and nobody really remembers this and it's not talked about, but fucking Sinbad.
He did it?
Sinbad.
I love Sinbad.
Hang on.
I'm going to blow your shit wide open.
Sinbad did a live primetime comedy special, squeaky clean, with commercial
breaks.
What?
Damn.
Now a few words from our sponsors.
Can't get to try then.
How the fuck do you time your jokes right to the commercial break?
Yeah, because you've got to have someone, someone's got to be like five, four,
three.
And you're performing during the commercial break, bitch, and when we come back
from commercial,
you've got to merge perfectly back with the TV audience at home.
Damn.
So you essentially have on air and off air material that has to be timed
perfectly for
what the fuck.
That's nuts.
He's one of the best.
I met him one time.
He was the coolest.
That's juggling dynamite.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He hosted my Gotham Comedy Live in like 2009 or whatever.
And that motherfucker killed, dude.
Yeah, dude.
He was hosting.
He was doing shit during the commercial breaks, everything.
He is one of the greatest.
He is on my Mount Rushmore.
I don't even know how he got to this place, but that dude is just fucking
amazing.
There's the famous story about him.
I don't know where it was.
It was Montreal or something like that.
Everybody bombed, and he had went and got a pair of socks that day and didn't
really
have anything prepared and went out there and just murdered about buying socks.
I think that's a Norm Macdonalds story.
Yeah.
They were talking about it in the green room.
Norm was like 19, and they were talking about socks, and then he goes out, and
I was
like, hey, just went out and fucking talked about socks, and like murdered.
Got like a television deal and everything.
I thought you were going to tell the snowplow story.
Oh, I don't know that.
He's doing a show at a casino during a snowstorm.
He does an hour.
As he's getting ready to rap, like going into his last bit, a single couple
walks in and
shuffles into their seat.
He goes, where the fuck have y'all been?
And they go, we were stuck behind a snowplow on the hills.
We just couldn't go around a snowplow.
So we're just now getting here.
He goes, all right, cool.
Does his closer, then tells the audience, that's it for you all.
You're welcome to leave if you want, but I'm going to do another hour for these
two people.
Man, that's pro shit.
And he did another goddamn hour.
Different hour, yeah.
A whole different fucking ass crazy.
Yeah, of course.
No one left.
Uh-huh.
He does another hour as a treat to two people who were stuck behind a snowplow.
Man.
That's how you become sin back, by doing that shit.
Who the fuck you know with an extra hour in their back pocket?
I don't have an extra 10 minutes.
What are we talking about here?
Bro.
Unreal.
That's fucking awesome, man.
Unreal.
So, you know, you have to do things in stand-up that I think still halfway keep
the craft relevant.
Sure.
Yeah, that does for sure.
Yeah, that's one of those things where it's like, even if you don't watch it
live, like
I didn't watch it live, but I go watch it.
Everybody finds out about the comic set.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it's still relevant.
Damn.
So, you know, yeah, I'd do it again.
And even if I bomb, I can still say, I have a little tater.
I got him the first time.
You should have seen me the first time.
The seating was different this time.
I was starving.
You should start making excuses.
I saw you right before you did it.
You were running spots.
You were running in the West Village.
You remember?
It was like a couple weeks ago.
I saw you.
You had your notes in your hand, and you were walking down.
I was like, hey, what's going on?
I was like, I was trying to get this stuff ready to go.
Yeah.
We had a couple writers, and they were like, oh, we'll come with.
No.
I know whether or not it's going to work.
I'll send you audio of what sucks.
That was the part that was frustrating.
It was like the news kept changing.
Sure.
So for all this preparation you're doing.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry about that.
Don Lemon just got fired.
God damn.
Scratch that page of Joe.
So drop the spy balloon joke to make room for Don Lemon.
Okay.
Cool.
Oh, yeah.
Tucker Carlson got fired.
So though the Mike Pence and the Nikki Haley stuff, yeah, don't.
Oh.
Keep it fresh.
Sorry.
The Fox Dominion lawsuit just got settled.
That was a wacky couple of weeks.
Everything was dropping.
Oh, man.
So, you know, most of what half of that set was, I mean, we cooked fresh that
week.
Damn.
Because the news broke that week.
Yeah.
I felt like an idiot.
It was no choice.
I felt like an idiot after I saw you because you were like, oh, I'm just trying
to get these
jokes ready.
And you were like very focused.
And I was like, oh, you're going to do great.
Don't worry.
You got moxie, kid.
I was like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
So, to answer your question, I couldn't taste the food because I was so fucking
nervous.
Yeah, dude.
But it looked good.
Like, I ate the salad.
The salad part, I must have something so I don't collapse.
But it looked good.
Oh, man.
It's funny.
Give us the back story on Roy Wood Jr.
Where did you grow up?
Give us a scoop.
Oh, there's not much to say, bro.
I grew up in Alabama.
Okay.
Well, we moved there when I was in the third grade.
We moved there from Memphis.
Okay.
And so, just, I was like a basic, like, I wasn'