Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Corn on the Cob in the Office? w/ Kippy & Foley
Uploaded: 2023-07-30T23:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Corn on the Cob in the Office? w/ Kippy & Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Corn on the Cob in the Office? w/ Kippy & Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-30. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Corn on the Cob in the Office? w/ Kippy & Foley

Gang, the Stay Trashy Tour is coming to a city near you.
Stand-up comedy, plus we play a little AYG with the crowd.
Shows are selling out and you can get your tickets at RUGarbage.com.
See you there.
Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage.
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast.
This is RU Garbage.
Take two.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find
enough to be classy.
They're just a big old piece of trash.
Garbage.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here with Tootie's in the new edition.
She's in the kitchen whipping up a hot meal for the boys.
Meatloaf sandwiches tonight.
Okay.
With a cold glass of milk.
Okay.
She's a whiz in that kitchen.
Sure.
Whether it's that or the meth, she does a really good job.
Shout out to Blue Magic.
My co-host is coming at you from across the table.
The body surfing king of Wildwood, New Jersey.
Let's go.
Back to clean the crown.
KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
What up, gang?
Thanks for tuning in.
Hey, pal.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available.
YouTube, as you know, those numbers are.
Shritter up.
Fucking.
And obviously the greatest website of all time, well over 10,000 subscribers
over there.
Love you.
Patreon.com slash RU Garbage Gang.
We're closing in on the Ireland trip.
We're fucking cranking out a bajillion hours of content over there.
Back to the old country.
Back to the old country.
Tootie's taking the boys back home, baby.
I might shed a tear over there, I'll tell you that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
This guy's getting real sentimental at the top of the show.
Get a hooker to kick me in the nuts.
That's fucking pegged me.
Then obviously the second greatest website of all time, www.rugarbage.com, gang.
You go over there, you get every ticket available for the live shows on the
Stay Trashy Tour for the fall and winter.
Those tickets are moving, gang.
And T-shirts.
And T-shirts.
And Zippo Style Lighters.
Better believe it.
They work.
That's in parentheses, but legally they sent us a cease and desist.
We're not allowed to call them Zippos anymore.
Zippo Style Lighters.
But get tickets to the door, gang.
It's a good time.
Come out and see us, gang.
We love you.
And have a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire, the magic man
makes us all look good.
Works the ones and twos, crosses the T's and dots the I's.
Give it up for T-Bone McScruffins.
It's Toby McMullen, everybody.
What up, boys?
Thomas.
What up, T-Bone?
I cannot wait to go to Ireland, dude.
Get Foley in one of those little Newsies caps.
A jacket with an elbow patch.
He's crying.
He's never seen so many potatoes.
It'll be amazing.
You're scotch.
Yes, sir.
We're going to rough you up when you're over there.
Fucking heavy in a headlock the whole time.
Yeah.
Giving you noogies.
This guy ain't one of us.
If you think I'm not making you wear a killed over there, you're nuts.
Yeah.
That's happening.
With that big old wee-wee hanging out the bottom.
I may still have one.
Fucking T-Bone hanging brook.
Really?
Why did you have one to begin with?
My folks love that shit.
They had one.
My dad has one.
My brother has one.
I could see Dr. D rolling around one of those.
Yeah.
Free ball in it.
Real tootsie weekend.
His PhD is from the University of Aberdeen, Scotland.
Ah, yes, sir.
He loves the regalia, dude.
He's got the long scarf, the big robe, the kilt with his balls out.
Big B's for breakfast.
Oh, my God.
The Pete.
I want to go in the fall if we can.
I want it to be cold over there.
I want to do the gear.
Do the fucking wool sweater and the cabbie hat.
Basketball shorts.
A pair of flip-flops.
A pair of Celtic shorts.
Sure.
Yeah.
I want to go in a chilly.
I don't know.
We got to see when we're going to hit the goal.
And then we're going to have to carve out time to get over that.
That ain't no fucking hopscades.
That ain't Wildwood, New Jersey.
There's customs involved.
There's flights.
There's layovers.
I want cold.
I want the rain and the sheep and the green grass.
It rains almost every day.
Ah.
Yes.
Dublin, right?
Isn't it?
I think the plan is to hit every major city.
Can we stay in the country a little bit?
Yeah, of course.
Nice.
Maybe rent a little farmhouse.
I don't know about that.
I could do some writing.
Get my memoirs in order.
Write a couple of tooties.
Ah, she's up there cooking dinner, gang.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, that might be.
I haven't really thought about that.
It kind of hit me.
They were closing in on it.
I mean, we're like a thousand or, you know, not that far away from hitting the
goal there.
Yeah.
And I mean, that was always something.
We never went when I was a kid.
Either did we.
I went over drinking with-
This is bigger than-
My buddy.
Disney.
From, you know, sentimentally for me.
Oh, yeah.
And my uncle used to always tease me.
He'd be like, when I was a kid, he'd be like, you gonna go back?
And I'm like, go back where?
He'd be like, back to the old country.
Yeah, but I hate that because they're not from there.
But they went.
Yeah, but they went because-
He's busted my balls.
Take it easy.
Don't you say nothing about my uncle, I'll kill you.
Yeah, okay.
Oh, man.
Foley's in his bag.
He was just Googling psychiatrist.
Baby, baby, baby, baby.
Kid's losing it.
No, but I mean, my family does it too.
It's a thing of like, it's so distant of who came over.
Sure.
To be like, back to the old country.
Like, you have some sort of real connection to it.
I know when my great, great, great, I think great, great, great grandfather
came over.
William Foley was the first one to come over.
He came over and fought in the Spanish-American War.
And we didn't want him back.
You can stay there, you know.
Thank God he's gone.
When was the Spanish-American War?
Can you give me a goog on that?
I want to say it was 1830, something like that.
That's when he came over.
1898.
97.
19.
It was the millennial.
Back to the Future had just come out.
Oh, did you know a bunch of dudes on horses singing Mbob?
But I don't get that, because...
Wait, hold on.
When was it?
1898.
Yeah, that's when he came over.
He was the first...
I don't know if his wife was already here or not.
They settled in Germantown in Wilkes-Barre.
It was a neighborhood.
Sure.
In Wilkes-Barre.
Yeah, even the Irish didn't want him.
Had to go to fucking Germantown.
There's always a Germantown everywhere.
Yeah, it was named.
That's where all the Germans lived.
Ah, I wonder why they lived over there.
It's fucking...
When you came over here, you had to stick together.
Nobody talked the language.
You got your job.
That's what it was.
No, I want to know why my Irish family moved in there.
Because he's a fucking turncoat, probably.
That's why I was probably trading, giving secrets away on how to make mashed
potatoes or something.
I heard about the schnitzel.
Yeah, fucking family full of rats, all of you.
Like, it's a good sauerkraut.
But yeah, my family does.
We don't have that huge connection, like, back to the old country.
But, like, everybody has made the place.
We don't, but we do.
You know what I mean?
I know, yeah.
You know how we are.
Yeah, you...
Yeah.
The old country means, like, your Nana went there.
That ain't the case.
I worked at Irish...
Bunch of fucking horse thieves.
I worked at an Irish bar when I first moved up here.
Any of the Irish guys that came over hated my guts.
Yeah.
Yeah, they couldn't stand me.
You know what I mean?
Probably giving them the wrong change back and stuff at the bar.
You're all perked up in a Bennigan's.
Just trying to get a goddamn Budweiser.
Yeah, they thought I was a huge pussy.
And they were right.
But we have an effect.
Like, I always bought the collado rings.
My mom has a collado ring.
I mean, I get the Irish...
To me, it's a, you know, from a very Irish-American family,
to have Irish-American culture is different than Irish culture, I would argue.
Same as Italian-American culture is way different.
The Italians hate the Italian-Americans.
Fuck it.
Do nods.
They fucking...
I've seen the Sopranos.
They fucking hate those guinea bass.
But Irish-American culture is way...
Camadori.
Buongiorno.
Yeah.
Irish-American culture is what we know.
Yeah.
Is what we know.
A hundred percent.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're all about it.
I'm supposed to pull up in a green and white cat in the hat hat.
I say, Dr. Seuss hat on.
Kiss me, I'm Irish shirt.
For shamrock sunglasses.
I'd get the shit beat out of me.
Yeah.
Hey, man, can you heat this beer up a little more?
Jesus Christ.
Got nothing cold back there?
What are you doing?
Yeah.
Good stuff.
I got something I wanted to get...
What do you got to kick off this family episode?
Get the cruise take on here.
Because this has been a...
You know, at the moment, I'm carless.
I got no wheels.
Got no way to get around.
I was going down to visit my ma last week.
And I had...
I couldn't get a fucking rental car in New York City.
I had no wheels to get anywhere, which has been a long time.
I've had a car for the past, you know, handful of years in the city.
Not being able to maneuver or get to where you want to go is, you know, it's a
rude awakening.
Helpless.
Helpless.
I'm out here with my dick in my hand.
I mean, you can always rent one.
You can hop the train.
But if shit went down, you're in trouble.
I'm in trouble.
I'd fucking throw my pair of rollerblades and get right over that GWB.
That's true.
That's the move.
But...
Unless they blow it, then you're fucked.
Well, then we all are.
I don't fucking care.
I'm going to get a slice from the fucking pizza place.
Relax a little bit.
Man, if they're...
Get my hands on a flatbread.
If they're blowing the bridges, where is it?
I would have the most epic relapse, dude.
Oh, yeah.
Before the last piece of concrete hit that water, I'd have a Miller High Life.
John Jamo.
Two Cuddies and a tall boy.
That ain't some shit they tell you on the news beforehand.
No, you're like, what are those construction workers doing under the bridge?
Two F-16s just come over.
Bing, bing.
Oh, fuck.
Something happened.
I don't know where they did that.
They did it in I Am Legend, I think it was, and they blew the bridges.
I forget, but yeah.
That's when you're jammed.
I'm a jammed up.
I'm sitting here by myself doing the puck.
Anybody out there?
Is there anybody?
I'll be at Aunt Tootie's house every day from sunup to sundown.
Man.
Because, you know...
The fucking monsters get you.
Yeah, you jammed up.
So I tried to rent a car, but I couldn't get my hands on anything in New York.
Anything relatively close to me.
Isn't it funny how...
I'd be having to go to the...
I'm not going to the airport to rent a car.
No.
That's bad.
I'm not going to the airport unless I'm flying.
It's funny the surge times on that shit.
Like, there's a lot of times in New York where you can't get a hotel room.
Yeah.
Because everything's sold out.
Yeah, it's weird.
I'm like a Wednesday.
Everything's sold out?
Well, I think because in New York now, it was the weekend.
Everybody who lives in New York doesn't have a car.
They rent a car.
They go to the island.
They go visit their parents.
They go down the shore.
What happened to Zipcar?
Do they tank?
No, I think they're still banging.
Yeah?
I just don't have an account.
Then you got to set up the account.
I was looking at Toro, which is the dirtbag fucking car rental program, which I
belong
to.
You and your girl riding a Rebel scooter?
Which, for a long time, the only way I could get a car...
Like Harry and Lloyd.
The only time I could get a car was from Toro, which is the Airbnb for your car.
People just lend you their car.
Took a couple on the early days of the Tor.
Early days of...
The Keep It Moving Tor.
The Keep It Moving Tor.
The early days of AYG.
The Bulletin' Dash Tor.
Yeah, we did find a shell casing in the car.
And a Russian Nissa