Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Che Durena!
Uploaded: 2023-08-13T23:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Che Durena!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Che Durena!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-13. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Che Durena!

Gang, the Stay Trashy Tour is coming to a city near you.
Stand-up comedy, plus we play a little AYG with the crowd.
Shows are selling out and you can get your tickets at RUGarbage.com.
See you there.
Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage.
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast.
This is RU Garbage.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out
if they're good to be classy.
Yeah.
Just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash, trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back at Tootie's here in the new edition.
She's upstairs doing a little gardening.
Okay.
Got a grow operation up there in the back closet.
A lot of tinfoil going through.
Hope the chopper don't fly over.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of RU Garbage.
He's the king of the boardwalk, baby.
And not too bad under the boardwalk.
I'll tell you that right now.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
That was supposed to be a secret.
What's up, everybody?
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
I just know those numbers are.
True to Roof.
Cookin'.
And then, obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com slash RU
Garbage.
You go over there.
You get all your bonus content.
Check it out, guys.
Yes, sir.
And how about a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire, the magic
man, embodies
this summer with his cutoff shorts and his skimboard.
Give it up for T-Bone McScruffins.
Toby McMullen, everybody.
What up, dudes?
What's up, pal?
I'm stoked.
It's crazy to see this guy not on my phone.
I know.
Every time I open my phone, it's this guy killing it.
Got one of the fucking cool kids in there.
Yeah, Bucky sees the flip-flop.
It's my kind of dude.
Gang, the long hair ain't lying because we couldn't be more excited to have our
Incredibly,
and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time.
He's a very funny, very successful stand-up comedian, podcaster, and social
media
superstar, baby.
Megastar.
He's got a brand new podcast.
Thank you.
Come again.
He's got an amazing Twitch stream, Little Dinky News, and he's kept the kickoff
of fall
tour in September.
Give it up for Che Durena, everybody.
How about that?
Thank you, guys.
Thank you for having me on.
Thanks for coming, dude.
I felt cool just saying Twitch.
I was worried I was going to mess it up.
Kids will know I'm a poser.
Yeah, you guys could get a live stream on there just talking shit, and then you'll
get
banned like everyone else.
Yeah, I don't know anything.
That was one that came along, and I was like, I'm done.
I'm not learning this one.
You're not into it.
There's kind of two lanes.
You either go like, I'm hardcore good at playing video games, or you're like a
chick with
like great tits.
I got one right here.
What are we doing?
I ain't too bad at Madden 98, either.
Give me fucking Mr. John Elway.
I'll take it to the fucking Super Bowl.
We shave his chest.
Got a nice push-up, bro.
We're looking good.
Dude, just shoot from here.
That's it.
That's it.
Kids will cook it.
Love it.
I got a little experience on chat roulette, if that counts.
Buddy, give us the backstory.
Fill us in.
Where'd you grow up?
Give us the whole scoop.
Right on.
What's the origin story?
So I'm Canadian.
I grew up on the west coast of Canada, like Vancouver-ish area.
Okay.
But like in the suburbs, boring-ass fucking place.
How far from Vancouver?
Maybe like an hour outside of Vancouver.
Proper suburbs.
Yeah, proper suburbs.
So north of like Seattle.
Yes, north of Seattle.
There you go.
This guy knows where Vancouver is.
So is that above Mexico, you would say?
If I got a map out, can we figure it out?
That's like that thing in Team America World Police where they're like, Cairo,
how many miles
far from America?
Like everything is in comparison.
Yeah, you mentioned Seattle, you're saying.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So grew up there.
And nothing too crazy going over there.
I was just kind of like probably an alcoholic at like 14.
Nice.
Yeah.
My kind of kid.
Yeah.
It's getting real go-getter.
Hey, start on young up there.
I was just like partying for most of my high school.
Everything before that was like kind of like Digimon and Pokemon.
Man, this kid's cool.
Talk about the duality of man.
Yeah.
So I put my Pokemon cards away and said hello to Jack Daniels.
Yeah.
Started drinking floaters.
Dude, once I-
Digimon, Pokemon, Yeagerbomb.
Yeah.
Get a couple of those.
Once I had a drink and touched tits, it was like, whoa.
Yeah.
Really changes your perspective on life.
You're fucking-
Yeah.
You come online, man.
System activated.
He goes upstairs and burn all your Pokemon cards.
Pokemon cards?
This means nothing to me now.
What'd your mom and dad do?
My dad, an electrician.
My mom was in sales.
Nice.
My dad's from Haiti.
Okay.
So my dad immigrated over.
They both were in their second marriage when they met me.
So they had like two-
My dad had two kids.
My mom had one kid.
So my sister on my mom's side, we all grew up together.
Nice.
Well, like me and her grew up together.
My brother and sister on my dad's side were in Montreal, which is like-
On the other side.
Eastern Canada.
Okay.
Way on the other side.
That's above New York, you would say.
Yeah, above New York.
Just kidding.
Just get my bearings over here.
It's Ohio, if you want to get real practical.
They grew up with their mom over there.
They grew up with their mom.
Then when I was like six or seven, my brother came over and started living with
us.
And then my sister on my dad's side still stayed in Montreal.
Gotcha.
Man, we are in the weeds already.
Yeah.
Welcome to the show, baby.
Dude, it was like people moving around.
Canadian Brady bunch.
Yeah.
And then my sister on my dad's side didn't move over until way later.
I was like 14 or 15 by the time she came over.
And what's the age separation?
What's the age separation between your mom's first kids?
So I'm the youngest.
First kid.
My sister on my mom's side's nine years older.
My sister on my dad's side's nine years older.
My brother is 10 years older.
Oh, okay.
So I'm the youngest by a mile.
So you're the baby.
Yeah, by a mile.
So when you were a kid and they started moving in, they were like teenagers.
Teenagers.
Yeah, yeah.
Everyone's like there, established, got their lives, personalities, and all
that kind of shit.
Gotcha.
Little chaotic in the house.
Like my parents probably should have got divorced like 10 years before they did.
Sure.
Yeah, that kind of stuff.
Man, shout out to staying together.
Yeah.
Fucked a lot of us off.
That makes a lot of comedians.
It's like a linebacker factory.
Bro, it was like beneficial to me as a kid because I fucking hated school and
did fuck all in school.
Like I was like just coasting on everything.
And my parents would be like, yo, where's your report card?
And I'd be like, oh, they just didn't send it.
But they were like having such discrepancies in their marriage that they couldn't
focus on my shortcomings because they were fighting.
So I remember like taking a report card, getting it from the mailbox before
they could get it, and like burying it in a field.
What the fuck?
Who are you, Joe Pesci?
What the fuck?
What did that report card ever do to you?
I had to move it a couple of years later because they started developing the
land.
They put on an addition.
I had to show up.
Remember that thing a couple of years ago?
I got to go take care of it.
Jesus, dude.
Burying your report cards.
I had no idea where else to put it.
I was just like, bro, this goes in a field.
So I ripped its teeth out.
Kept its fingers in the freezer.
Okay.
All right.
Then, yeah.
So did you recognize that of like, oh, this is kind of chaotic in here.
No one's really paying attention.
Yeah.
I just don't have to make – if I don't make waves, I can fly under the radar.
Exactly.
I was just flying under the radar.
And then once I graduated high school, which I barely graduated, I went into my
final exam with 51% in English.
And you need your English to graduate.
It's real wonky up there in Canada.
Real wonky.
Because we don't do – we do ABC.
We don't do Ds or any of that kind of shit past there.
Really?
Yeah.
It's all like a percentage system.
And I think everything you need, like, at least grade 11 – or what do you
guys say?
11th grade.
11th grade.
I picked up on what you meant there.
Yeah, I got it.
I was lost.
Wait.
Is a C up there still a C down here?
Or is that like an F?
So a C – we have C minus would be like an F.
A C minus is like –
What percentage point would that be?
That would be like – you're at like between like 50 and 55.
Okay, that would be like an F for us.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
So you need at least –
Still looks better on a report card.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
100%.
But you need at least that little bit to graduate.
Sure.
Went into the final with 51, came out with 50.
So, like, I think my English teacher was literally like, I just don't want to
fucking see this
guy again.
Yeah, exactly.
I'm sending him.
She didn't want to get buried in the backyard.
Hey, play ball, Mrs. O'Connor.
This kid's not fucking around.
You know what happened to that fucking report card?
Then I went to college.
For college, I found the most bullshit course.
My parents were like, you got to go straight to university or straight to
college.
Like, you're not taking a year off.
Because they saw –
I love how you're translating for Americans.
Yeah.
I went straight to university.
College.
College.
Well, we have – there's a difference for us.
We have like college and university, which I think you guys call everything
college.
No, we have colleges and universities.
But they're pretty much – I don't think that the meaning has changed over the
years.
Universities offer master's courses.
Yeah.
Also, a university is a collection of colleges, too.
Ah.
I believe, like, the whatever school of whatever and the whatever school of
whatever is in
a university.
Gotcha.
Oh, okay.
I could be completely wrong on that.
Yeah.
Fully nailed it.
No shit.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
Master's and PhDs to be university.
Okay, okay.
Woo!
Woo-wee!
Which he has neither one of, by the way.
I don't know how you learned that, Snapple fact.
Give me a fucking C-.
Pay you that right now.
What'd you study?
I took a scuba diving instructor course.
Oh, my goodness.
In the middle of Canada.
Yeah.
Dude, that's –
Hey, you better put your wetsuit on.
It's cold out there today.
I'll tell you that, boy.
Oh, yeah, dude.
That's insane.
I didn't think anybody ever did that.
Yeah, yeah.
So, I did a scuba diving instructor course.
It was, like, the most bullshit course I could find because I didn't want to do
school
anymore.
I just wanted to fuck off.
And so –
I forgot my flippers.
I can't go to school today.
Holy shit.
It was pretty – it was, like, it was a fun course.
Like, I just learned how to become a scuba diving instructor.
Get the fuck out of here.
Did you have any scuba diving experience prior to becoming an instructor?
Zero.
Zero.
So, like, all my experience was all, like, cold water diving on, like, Western
Canada.
Okay.
So, you dabbled in this a little bit.
Yeah.
All right.
So, like, the course was eight months, and you did, like – I think I got,
like,
a hundred and something dives in, in that time, to become an instructor.
That's not college.
No, no, no, no, no.
That's training.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was, like – it was basically a means to an end.
I could get a job, and then once I was an instructor, I could fuck off.
So, then, right after that, I moved to Mexico.
Like, I'm reading.
Holy shit.
Like, 19, took off to Mexico, and then I lived in Mexico for three years, like,
teaching
scuba diving.
So, you learned all this stuff.
Oh, yeah.
It was actually legit.
Yeah, it 